Some Things Are Meant To Be
by Peanuts
Summary: AU. Chandler works for a publishing house in San Francisco. He's a widower with a 4-year-old daughter. After Chandler returns to New York for a visit after a six-year absence, Monica returns to CA with him and things progress from there. Changed rating to M for Chapter 23. Thanks for reading! :-)
1. Chapter 1

Some Things Are Meant To Be

Chapter 1

Chandler Bing placed the last of the luggage next to his front door, ready for the shuttle that would transport him and his four-year-old daughter Adrianna Nicole Bing to the San Francisco International Airport. They had a plane to catch for their non-stop flight to New York City. When he turned around, he found the petite girl with the bouncy chestnut curls and big round eyes the color of the sky smiling up at him. Returning her smile, he knelt down in front of her.

"Are you ready for our big adventure?"

She nodded excitedly.

"Uncle Joey!" she practically screamed, clapping her hands with glee at the prospect of seeing her favorite uncle who always bought her chocolate chip ice cream. On a waffle cone.

"That's right. We're going to pay a visit to your uncle Joey."

_And see what the rest of the gang has been up to as well._

Once the excitement of being on a plane for the first time had worn off a bit, Adrianna settled into her seat and fell asleep while clutching her favorite Barbie doll. Chandler took the opportunity to allow himself a few moments to lean back and let his mind wander for the first time since he'd decided to take this trip. So much had happened in the past six years, and so much had changed from the life he thought he had been destined to live.

He'd never forget that fateful night when Monica Geller had rushed into the apartment he then shared with his best friend Joey Tribbiani and announced that she and the supposed love of her life, Dr. Richard Burke, had gotten back together after a breakup that had left her heartbroken and searching for answers. He recalled how he and Joey had exchanged questioning looks. Chandler had just been telling his friend that he'd wanted Monica to know how he felt about her. He'd never been good at relationships or commitment, but he knew he could no longer deny he had feelings for Monica. He'd found himself seeking ways to be near her, to spend more time with her, to talk with her. His roommate and friend had tried to be supportive but also practical, something that did not come easily to the struggling actor.

Not sure why he'd felt as though Richard was going to break his friend's heart again, Chandler nevertheless had decided to tell Monica how he felt about her. Maybe she would see that Richard wasn't the only man who'd wanted her. He'd thought maybe, with time, she could grow to feel the same way about him, and then she would be able to put Richard behind her and move on with him. That turned out to be his fantasy, but it certainly had not been Monica's.

Crushed at her immediate and hurtful rejection of his affections and knowing that he had now put his friendship with the others at risk, Chandler had begun to make rash decisions without thinking through the consequences. One of the main decisions he'd made, as he'd watched Monica and Richard's relationship blossom once again, was to leave New York City and start over in a new town. Across the country. In San Francisco. He'd asked the publishing house in Manhattan, where he had been working for the past few years as a senior editor, for a transfer. They'd accommodated his request almost immediately.

During his transition period, he'd worked closely with a woman who'd resembled Monica, both in looks and in personality. Inexplicably attracted to each other, they had begun dating; and going against everything he'd thought to be true, he'd asked Stephanie Miles to marry him a month later. She'd agreed, and they'd eloped at Lake Tahoe a few weeks after that. Chandler had known he would come crashing down to earth, but he'd also been enjoying his very different lifestyle. Two months later, when Stephanie had announced she was pregnant, Chandler had found the news to be exhilarating. He was going to be a father, and that thought truly did not make him want to run away and hide.

Since he'd made his big move to San Francisco and then to a nearby suburban area known as Walnut Creek, his attempts to keep in touch with his friends on the East Coast had proven futile, with the exception of Joey, who had been terrified for his friend. He'd thought Chandler was going to end up bitter and alone, just as his friend had predicted when a neighbor of theirs had died. Joey did not want that for his pal. Not at all.

Much to Joey's surprise and relief, Chandler had seemed to be living a fairly productive and happy life. Until Stephanie died in a head-on car crash on the Golden Gate Bridge.

When Joey had heard the news, he'd raced to be with Chandler and Adrianna, who had just turned three. Too young to fully grasp what was going on, she knew enough to realize her mommy was never coming back and that her daddy was incredibly sad. Chandler knew he could never repay Joey for staying with him and supporting him during one of the darkest periods of his life. The others had called and sent their condolences, but Joey had been with him. Had helped him take care of his fragile daughter. Had found ways to encourage him to keep going when he thought he couldn't make it through another day.

With the passage of time, Chandler vowed to get into a new, albeit frightening, routine. Knowing Joey couldn't stay with them forever, he'd hired a young woman by the name of Nancy Wilcox as a caretaker for Adrianna. His precious daughter, still confused about her mother's death, had clung to Joey and missed her uncle something fierce when he'd left, but she'd slowly warmed up to Nancy and now she liked her. But all Adrianna could talk about was her Uncle Joey.

Except, lately, Joey had been keeping his distance, too. Chandler did not know what was going on, and when his boss urged him to take a much-needed vacation, Adrianna had supplied the idea for this trip. She wanted to see her Uncle Joey.

And Chandler did, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The unexpected knock startled Joey, but the visitors who greeted him when he opened the door startled him more.

"Surprise!" Adrianna shouted and then giggled at the puzzled expression on her uncle's face. "We came to see you!"

Seeing Chandler holding his daughter in his arms was indeed a surprise. And a big one at that.

"Come in," Joey said, after an awkward few moments where he had just stared at them.

He sighed inwardly. He'd wanted this to happen. He had hoped that Chandler would want to visit someday, and maybe tell his daughter about the fun times they'd had being roommates. He wanted Chandler to enjoy being back in his old apartment because he'd started to think that maybe he never would return. That they'd never have a chance to reminisce about the good times they'd had. Now that he was here, all Joey could think about was how his friend's timing could not have been worse.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

Joey wasn't trying to be rude; he just wanted to understand.

"Because," Chandler said, with a sly smile, "as my daughter just told you, we wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well," he said, taking a step back from his guests and folding his arms in front of his chest, "you couldn't have shocked me more."

Joey looked uncomfortable, which was not lost on Chandler.

"Is this not a good time?" he asked, motioning towards his friend's bedroom.

Chandler realized he should have thought about that before they showed up unannounced. Most likely, some things would never change.

Joey's dark brown eyes followed Chandler's light blue ones and then he shook his head.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just, well…"

When Joey tilted his head towards the closed door of Chandler's old room, Chandler raised his eyebrows, begging his friend for an explanation. He didn't want to have to cover his impressionable daughter's eyes or ears, but he would do whatever it took to protect her.

Before an explanation could be given, the door opened and Monica, dressed in black pants and a gauzy white blouse, her hair long and loose flowing, emerged from the room, looking more beautiful than Chandler could have ever imagined. And he'd imagined it. A lot.

"Monica."

He swallowed hard as he tried to keep his voice steady even as his pulse began to race at an alarming rate. It seemed surreal to him that he was actually in the same room with her again and that she had exited from his old bedroom. Talk about irony. He did squeeze his daughter closer to him, though, as he drank in her loveliness, while trying to keep himself composed.

"Chandler."

The raven-haired beauty finally spoke after giving Joey a questioning, if not panicked, look.

"I-I heard voices. I thought maybe Rachel and Ross were here. What…what a nice surprise."

The tension that permeated the room was eased somewhat by Adrianna, who asked to be put down. She wanted to explore her uncle's apartment. Plus, her dad had been holding her too tight. He hadn't done that in a while, so she thought maybe he was going to be sad again. She didn't want him to be sad. She wanted him to be happy that they were with Uncle Joey.

"You probably want a drink or maybe a snack?" Joey guessed when he saw her heading for the small kitchen area.

Having the little one to focus on gave the dark-haired man a chance to breathe.

Monica had not moved from her position, but she turned towards Chandler when he responded to Joey's question.

"I have what she needs in her backpack. Do you want something to drink, Adrianna?"

She nodded and skipped to her father who stood at the Barcolounger. Chandler set her Dora the Explorer backpack on the recliner and unzipped it. He withdrew a grape juice box, opened it, and gave it to her while she made herself comfortable on the area rug and happily sipped her drink through the straw.

"Wow," Monica said, taking a few tentative steps closer to the living room. "You did that so easily. You seem so organized. You're a natural. Ross still can't put a single outfit together for Emma. With Rachel in the room, helping him. This is amazing to watch."

Chandler suppressed a laugh. If she only knew the truth. He was so far from a natural or organized, it was scary. But they didn't need to have that discussion. Her comments about Ross and Rachel and Emma did amuse him, though. It also made him think about all that he had missed.

"Thank you," he said and gave her a small smile. "That means a lot coming from you."

Even with polite conversation, he recognized the tension had by no means dissipated. He didn't know what he had walked in on, but any words spoken directly to him by Monica, he would gladly accept, especially given the way things had ended between them.

She took the final steps needed to stand in front of him. When she smiled, the expression on her face softened.

"It…it's good to see you," she said.

"Same here."

She hesitated, and then she held out her arms for a hug.

"For old times' sake?" she suggested, uncertainty present in her voice.

Chandler nodded and then drew her into his arms. It was an awkward hug, no doubt about it, but one that acknowledged their years of friendship before everything had changed,

Joey sat with Adrianna, who was excited to tell her uncle all about her first plane ride. Keeping her occupied gave Chandler and Monica a chance to speak in the kitchen.

"This…this isn't what it looks like," she began, not sure why she felt the need to confess that information to Chandler.

"Monica, you don't owe me any explanations. Yeah, I mean, seeing you come out of my old bedroom, that shocked me, sure, but whatever is going on…it has nothing to do with me."

Yes, it does, Monica thought. But she knew she couldn't say anything. Yet. She had to speak with Joey first.

"Your daughter is adorable."

"Thank you."

They shared an uneasy smile, and then Monica made a quick decision. She spoke the words before she could change her mind.

"Why don't we all get together tonight at my apartment for dinner?"

"I don't know, Mon."

Chandler was stunned at how easily he could fall back into old patterns.

"I'm not sure how the others feel about me. It's not like we've kept in touch."

Monica knew she was included in that "we," and at the moment, she regretted that fact. Seeing Chandler again brought back wonderful memories of the close and fun friendship they'd shared, but there was also anger and sadness present, too. She knew she couldn't trust her emotions right now, but she did want all of them to have dinner. At her place.

"Adrianna could meet Emma and maybe Ben," she offered.

The reality of what she had just said hit her. Chandler, Ross, and Rachel were all parents. Of precious children who were growing up and becoming their own persons. If she let herself dwell on that fact, she knew she would lose it. And, yet, it was the truth. Seeing Chandler with his daughter, she realized she could no longer pretend that he wasn't a father. Chandler. A father. And her. With no hope on the horizon of ever being a mother. How was this even possible? She quickly brushed away the depressing thoughts, as she had done so many times before. She could not, would not let herself go down that path.

"If you think they will come," he hedged, when he saw he had Monica's attention once again.

He wanted his daughter to have that opportunity. It was part of the reason he had come. He just didn't want to cause any more trouble.

"I think they will. I'll make the phone calls. Plan to be at my place at 6:00 p.m."

"Okay. Thanks, Monica. It will be nice to see everyone again. I hope they can all make it."

Monica was about to excuse herself to begin issuing dinner invitations and choosing menu items when Adrianna appeared and stared up at her.

"Hello, sweetie," Monica said, kneeling down so they would be at eye level.

She wanted to hold her hands, but she didn't want to be too forward.

"I'm Monica. Your dad and I have known each other a long time. I've heard about you. I'm glad to finally meet you."

Adrianna nodded and then turned to look at her father.

"Daddy?" she asked, with all the innocence of a four-year-old. "How come this lady looks like my mommy?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I look exactly like Chandler's dead wife?"

Monica pounced on Joey as soon as Chandler and Adrianna had left.

Joey took a step back. "I wouldn't say 'exactly.'"

"But close enough that his daughter mentions it out of nowhere? And by the way, how cute is she?"

"I know, right?" Joey said; glad to have something positive to focus on. "See? What have I been telling you?"

"Don't you dare change the subject, Joey Tribbiani!"

"Hey, I didn't. _You_ did!"

Monica glared at him as she paced back and forth, trying not to bite her thumb nail.

"How could you not tell me?"

Joey saw her distress and wanted to help.

"There was a strong resemblance," he acknowledged. "That's all."

"And you never thought it might be important to share that information with me. Me!"

Joey cringed at Monica's higher octave shrieking. He tried to calm her down.

"I didn't know what it meant," he defended. "They seemed to be in love. Okay, sure, it was weird that you guys sorta looked alike and even acted the same, at times, but…"

He stopped when he realized he was only making things worse.

"I don't know what to say. I guess you need to talk to Chandler about this."

"Should I just add it to the list?"

"I'm sorry," Joey offered.

"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to come down so hard on you. It's just that…seeing him again and with his daughter while I'm trying to decide what to do…it's all too much."

"Are you gonna talk to him?"

Monica focused on Joey, needing an honest answer from him. "Do you think I should?"

"I think he would like to know what's going on. Especially after seeing our reaction to him."

"It's just so crazy that he showed up here. So unexpectedly." She narrowed her gaze. "It was unexpected, wasn't it? Please, Joey. Tell me that you didn't say anything to him."

Joey held up his hands. "I didn't. I haven't been in contact with him for weeks. For this very reason. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't want to mess things up. That might be why he showed up here, though."

"Well," Monica said, resigning herself to the fact that Chandler was in Manhattan, "he's here now, and I have dinner to make."

Back at their hotel room at The Plaza, Adrianna awoke from her nap and saw her father sitting on his bed, looking at a photograph.

"Mommy?" she asked, scooting off of her bed and climbing onto her father's lap.

She leaned her head against his chest and stared at the picture of the three of them.

"I miss her."

Her voice was barely above a whisper. Chandler kissed the top of her head.

"I know."

"Why does that lady hafta look like my mommy?"

Chandler had known his daughter was not going to forget her earlier question. He'd managed to dodge giving an answer before, but he knew she would keep reminding him of the fact that Monica looked like his late wife, Stephanie. What could he say?

"Your mother was very pretty," Chandler offered. "And it just so happens that Monica is very pretty, too."

"You like Monica?"

"I did. A long time ago. We were friends, Adrianna. Very good friends."

"And then you left?"

"Yes."

"Was she mad?"

"Yes. We ended our friendship, and then I left."

Adrianna nodded, but she really didn't understand what her father was saying. He held her closer.

"I know this is all very complicated. I just hope you'll give Monica a chance. I think she likes you."

Adrianna shrugged. "I dunno, Daddy. When I look at her, I get sad."

"Give it time, sweetheart. I think the more you get to know Monica, the less she will remind you of your mother."

Adrianna didn't think that was true, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she took the picture from her father's hands and held it close to her heart.

"Do you need any help, Mon?" Rachel asked, as she watched her friend work her magic in the kitchen.

"No, I think everything's under control. The lasagna is baking. I just have to add dressing to the salad and slice the bread."

"So," Rachel said, leaning back against the counter and giving Monica a sly grin, "how was it seeing Chandler again?"

"Oh, yes," Phoebe said, seemingly appearing from out of nowhere. "Do tell."

"It was okay," she said, her voice and expression not revealing much.

"Does he know you and Richard broke up once and for all?" Rachel probed.

"Oh, yeah," Phoebe chimed in. "Did you tell him he had been right after all? Imagine that. Chandler was right about you and Richard."

After giving both of her well-meaning but nosy friends a hard stare, she shook her head. "That particular topic of conversation never came up. You wanna know what I did find out?"

"Sure," Rachel and Phoebe said in unison.

"I bear a strong resemblance to Chandler's late wife."

"Noooo!" Rachel exclaimed. "You're kidding."

Phoebe smirked and then bit into a raw carrot before she spoke. "I'm not surprised."

"What do you mean?" Monica asked.

"C'mon. That's such a Chandler thing to do. You know. Tell you he has feelings for you when you're in the middle of this hot torrid love affair with Richard, and then leave, and marry someone who looks like you. I can totally see that happening."

"Well, it's creepy," Monica said, rubbing her upper arms as she shuddered.

"I agree," Rachel said. "It is creepy. Who does that?"

Phoebe laughed outright. "Oh, okay, Miss-I'm-dating-Russ-who-looks-and-talks-exactly-like-Ross."

Rachel bristled at the unwanted reminder. "Fair enough. But, hey, at least I didn't marry the guy."

Six pairs of adult eyes turned towards the door when they heard the knock and then saw the door open to reveal Chandler and Adrianna.

"Hey, guys," Chandler said, stepping inside just enough to close the door behind him.

He didn't know what to expect, and he didn't want his daughter to be overwhelmed.

"Hi, again," Monica said, stepping away from the kitchen to greet her guests. "Come in. You can introduce Adrianna to the gang."

Adrianna held her father's hand tighter as they made their way into the living room. He greeted Ross first.

"It's…it's good to see you," Chandler said.

"Yeah," Ross acknowledged with a nod. "It's good to see you, too. I-I'm sorry about your wife. I can't believe you're a father."

"Let me introduce you to my daughter. Adrianna, this is Ross Geller. He's Monica's older brother. We went to college together."

"Hi," she said shyly, staying very close to her daddy.

"Hi," Ross returned. "You know what? I have a daughter, too. She's almost two years older than you. Would you like to meet her?"

The little girl nodded.

"I'll get her," Rachel offered. "Right after I meet this cutie."

Chandler said a tentative "hello" to Rachel. She smiled and then gave him an impulsive hug.

"It's just so good to see you," she said and meant it. 'And to finally meet your daughter. I'm gonna go get Emma."

Rachel disappeared into the guest bedroom and returned a few minutes later with a darling girl who had her mother's hair color and skin tone, and her father's dark eyes.

"Emma, sweetie, this is an old friend of ours, Chandler, and his daughter Adrianna. Say hello."

"Hi," she said and smiled, her eyes lighting up when she saw a potential playmate.

"Wow, Rachel, Emma is absolutely beautiful," Chandler said.

"Thank you," she said and clapped her hands together. "Isn't it great our kids are finally meeting?"

"Yeah," Ross chimed in. "I admit I had reservations about coming here tonight, but this…this is nice. I'm glad you came, man."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"I'm glad you're here, too," Phoebe said, not wanting to be left out of the reunion.

"I wondered if you'd even acknowledge me," Chandler admitted.

Phoebe waved away his concern. "I'm too happy tonight. This is great. I can't believe we're all in the same room again. Yay! And…and I also have someone new to introduce you to."

Mike Hannigan stepped forward when Phoebe beckoned to him. "Meet my fiancé, Mike Hannigan. Mike, this is Chandler. The one who abruptly left our group but has returned. At least for the time being."

Mike and Chandler shook hands.

"Nice to meet you," Mike said. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Things I'm sure you can't repeat," Chandler said, only half-kidding.

Mike shrugged and then nodded. Chandler knew, but it was okay. For now. This wasn't as horrible as he had imagined it, but there were questions which remained unanswered. And the biggest one Chandler had was whether or not Richard was going to come strolling through Monica's door.

After dinner had been served and the conversation felt less stilted, Rachel asked Emma if she wanted to show Adrianna the Barbie collection she kept in the guest room for when she stayed with Aunt Monica.

"Yeah," Emma said, happy to have someone to play with. "My brother never plays with me," she explained to Adrianna. "This will be fun!"

"How is Ben?" Chandler asked Ross, as they made their way towards the couch.

"He's good. He would've been here, but he has a lot of homework. He's struggling with science. Science! Can you believe that?"

"No," Chandler said, trying not to grin. "Actually, I can't imagine that at all."

Ross rolled his eyes; Joey laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ross asked.

Joey couldn't stop smiling.

"What's goin' on, Joe?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," he said, but the smile returned. "It's just that…well, I've missed this."

"Mike almost took your place," Phoebe said, sitting on the arm of the chair where Mike sat.

"You don't say."

"Sure. The three of them have become inseparable. It drives me crazy, but whatever."

Mike shook his head. "We hang out some, but I don't think I could've ever taken your place."

"That's right, Mike," Joey said with conviction.

"Are you two okay?" Chandler asked, pointing to Joey and Mike.

"There's a bit of history between us, right, Joe?"

"You're just lucky Phoebe gave you another chance."

"No, I think _you're _the lucky one," Mike corrected.

"Whatever. Just don't mess this up."

"Don't worry," Phoebe said. "I won't let him."

Monica listened contentedly to the idle chatter while she finished cleaning up her kitchen. She could almost believe everything was going to be okay until she heard Chandler congratulate Ross on his marriage to Rachel. Her stomach muscles tightened, and she almost dropped the plate she had been drying.

"How…how did you know?" Ross asked.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice that huge diamond ring on Rachel's left hand, and the shiny gold wedding band to go along with it. I just assumed…"

This seemed more fun than telling Ross that Joey had filled him in on the details of their wedding.

"No, you're right. You're absolutely right. Rachel and I are married."

"Congratulations. I am sorry I missed your wedding."

"Well, it's not like we went to yours either."

Ross stopped and placed an index finger to his lips. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"It's okay. I understand."

Ross leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "I wanted to invite you, I did, but Monica was still with Richard at the time and well…"

"Ross, shut up!" Monica said, standing behind the sofa.

"How did you hear that?"

Chandler rose from the couch and looked at Monica. "Is it true?" he asked, desperately needing to know. "Ross used past tense just now. Does that mean what I think it means?"

"What?" Monica said, fighting with everything she had to maintain her control. "That you were right? That Richard and I wouldn't make it? Yes, it's true. We broke up. Okay. There. Are you happy?"

"No," he said, shaking his head as he quickly closed the space between them. "Hearing that you and Richard broke up does not make me happy. I can see how miserable you are, Monica. Of course, that doesn't make me happy."

"I'm fine," she said, brushing away his concern. "It's just that I wanted to tell you in my own time, in my own way."

"I'm really sorry, Mon," Ross said. "I just figured since Chandler was here, maybe we could sort through some things. Get past some of the misunderstandings."

"I'd like that," Chandler said. "I'd like us to be friends again."

Monica nodded. "We'll see how it goes. I'm not making any promises."

"I understand."

He noticed, for the first time, how very tired and weary Monica looked. He guessed the dark circles under her eyes were from lack of sleep. Had she and Richard just broken up? Was she the one who had ended it? He had many questions but would wait until she was ready to talk to him. If she ever was.

After everyone had left her apartment, Monica locked up and turned off the lights. Exhausted, she wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep. Sitting on her bed, she opened the drawer of her nightstand and pulled out the bottle of prescription pain pills. Now that she was resting, she realized her whole body ached, not to mention her heart. She had promised herself, and Joey, that she was through taking the pills. But this day had been too much, hadn't it? She needed to sleep. She needed blissful, peaceful sleep with no disturbing dreams waking her up in a cold sweat and making her feel so out of control. Night after night. That wasn't who she was.

Holding the brown bottle in a death grip, she made the decision. Just for tonight. She needed two pills just for tonight.

Tomorrow, she promised herself as she swallowed the second pill; she would find the courage to talk to Chandler. And then, maybe, finally, this nightmare she had been enduring would begin to be over.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When his phone rang early the next morning, Chandler answered on the first ring, hoping it would be Monica. He heard Rachel's voice instead.

"What's up?"

"I wanted to see if Adrianna could come to our apartment today to play with Emma. She really liked your daughter, and this will give you a chance to see our brownstone on the Upper East Side. Does that work?"

"It sounds nice. Let me ask Adrianna."

She nodded at the invitation; Rachel told Chandler to be at her place at eleven.

An hour later Chandler opened the door, ready to escort Adrianna into the hallway, when she stopped.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and then followed his daughter's gaze.

Monica stood on the other side.

"I've come at a bad time," she said, turning to leave.

She'd hesitated to come. Maybe it was a sign that Chandler was heading out. She wasn't sure she was ready to face him anyway.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, half an hour at the most. I'm taking Adrianna to Rachel's for a play date with Emma. You could come with us if you want."

Monica shook her head. She didn't know how much more of the happy families she could take. She knew it made her seem petty and small, but seeing her friends with their children was eating her up inside. She wouldn't purposely put herself through that.

"I should leave," she said.

"No, don't," Chandler said, not wanting to lose this opportunity. "You're more than welcome to wait in my room. I won't be long. I promise."

She nodded and stepped inside his room. It wasn't until he had closed the door that she realized she and Adrianna had not spoken a word to each other. It was not lost on Monica that Adrianna had felt comfortable with every adult in her apartment last night except her. She'd barely looked at Monica, and she'd spoken to her only when Chandler had encouraged her. She wasn't happy about the situation, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it except continue to be nice to her.

Monica tried to find a comfortable chair to sit on. She had a pounding headache, and she hadn't even drunk any of the wine the previous night. Her back ached, too, but she tried not to think about that. When she finally sat at the round table near the window, her eyes fell to several photographs of a happy family on vacation, most likely, at Disneyland. Monica finally saw Stephanie. The resemblance was undeniable. They'd even worn their hair the same way. How could that be? She picked up one of the photographs and then quickly threw it down. She couldn't do this. She couldn't talk to Chandler right now. She needed more time.

She tried to stand and felt a sharp pain in her back. She realized she had probably done too much the day before. Opening her purse, she pulled out her trusty bottle of pills. She'd brought them with the intention of handing them over to Chandler, after they'd talked, but now that she knew that wasn't going to happen, she poured some water into a glass and took one of the pills instead.

And then she left his room, sorry she had ever come there in the first place.

"Hi!"

Rachel, with Emma at her side ready to take Adrianna into her room, greeted her guests with a smile and ushered them into her home.

"I'm so happy you're here."

"Thanks for inviting us. This will be fun for Adrianna."

"I think so, too. Emma wants to show her the rest of her Barbie collection, and then…"

Chandler interrupted. "The _rest_ of her Barbie collection?"

"Well, yeah," Rachel said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "She leaves some things at Monica's but, of course, she has more here."

"Of course she does."

"Hey," Rachel said, squaring her shoulders. "Don't you dare judge us, Chandler Bing!"

"I'm not judging; I'm amused. This is just such a 'Rachel thing' to be doing for your daughter."

She leaned in closer. "Between you and me, the more dolls she has, the less dinosaur stuff Ross can ply her with. There is a method to my madness."

"I didn't doubt that for a moment."

"Can we go into my room, Mommy?"

"Yes, but I want the door left open and play where I can see both of you."

The two girls ran into Emma's bedroom, which was decorated with a Precious Moments theme.

"Let me show you around," Rachel said to Chandler.

"Could we make it quick? I hate to beg off, but Monica's waiting for me in my hotel room."

"Oh, _really_?" Rachel said, her interest definitely piqued.

Chandler sighed. "Don't look at me like that. She just wants to talk."

"Oh, okay. Well, no problem. I'll show you around when you pick up Adrianna. You'd better go," she said and smiled. "I know you don't want to keep Monica waiting."

"Please don't read anything into this. She just wants to talk."

But when Chandler returned to his room, Monica was nowhere to be found.

"Damnit!" he said, when he saw that a couple of the photographs had been moved.

The last thing he wanted was for Monica to see Stephanie, especially in a setting where they looked like the All-American family.

"I know, Mon," he said, talking to the photo, "this is exactly what you have always dreamed of. And this is what I thought I might someday have with you."

He left his room, determined to find Monica.

After knocking on her apartment door without success, he crossed the hall and saw that Joey's door was slightly ajar. Pushing it back, he looked around and saw his buddy sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter.

"Hey," he said, making his presence known.

"Hey, yourself. So, how did it go?"

"How did what go?"

"Whaddya mean? Oh, man, you and Monica haven't talked?"

Chandler placed his hands on the counter, facing his friend. "She came to my room, but when I got back from dropping off Adrianna at Rachel's place, she was gone. That's why I'm here."

"And that's why I left the door open. I wanted to see her as soon as she came home. What is going on with you two?"

"Why don't you tell me, Joe?"

"I wish I could, but I can't. I promised Monica."

Joey had no sooner spoken her name than she appeared in the hallway.

"Monica!" he said. "Wait right there."

She stopped at Joey's commanding tone.

He motioned for Chandler to follow him, and then he grabbed Monica's arm, opened her apartment door, and practically pushed the two of them inside.

"Hey!" they both said in unison.

Joey shut the door and stood in the living room, his arms folded in front of him.

"My head is about to explode from all this adult drama. You two are going to talk, and I mean right now."

"Joey," Monica began, "you can't make us…"

"Yes, I can," he declared. "And I will. Watch me."

They both stared at him as he tried to determine his next move.

He snapped his fingers. "I got it. Chandler. Right before you showed up, Monica was going to visit you in California. There. Now. Go!"

Joey opened the door and made a quick exit, but not before telling them that he would be on guard in case either of them tried to leave.

Shaking her head, Monica made her way to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottled water. She offered one to Chandler who declined. She then slid carefully onto a kitchen chair and took a deep breath. Chandler remained leaning against the back of the couch. He didn't know how close or how far away Monica wanted him to be.

"Well," she finally said, tucking her hair behind her ears, "it looks like all my secrets are coming out. Where should I begin?"

"Start wherever you want," Chandler said, trying to encourage but not scare her. "And start whenever you're ready."

After motioning for him to sit across from her and then drinking half of the water in one long gulp, she replaced the top and said she was ready to begin.

"It's true I had pretty much decided I wanted to visit you in San Francisco. Things haven't been going so great for me lately. I thought maybe a change of scenery would help. But, instead, you showed up here, with your daughter, and I totally panicked."

"About what?"

"About my life. About everything that's been going on. Chandler, I haven't worked in over six months."

"What? Why? Did you get laid off?"

"I-I had an accident at the restaurant, and I've been on disability ever since."

"What kind of an accident?"

"I slipped on some marinara sauce in the kitchen and landed hard on my back. It's been totally messed up ever since."

"Monica, I'm so sorry."

He thought about reaching across the table to hold her hands, but decided he'd better not risk it. Yet.

"Thanks. I've tried everything, but nothing helps. I'm in so much pain, Chandler. I…"

She almost confessed about knowing that she was becoming dependent on her pain pills, but she couldn't quite bring herself to admit that part.

"You what?"

She shook her head. "It's just everything. My back and my body ache because I can't do the things I want to do, and two months after I injured myself, Richard and I broke up."

"Wow," Chandler couldn't help commenting, "talk about timing."

"Yeah, well, it's not like we hadn't had problems before. But this time felt very different and very final. I'm not the best person to be around these days, and my physical pain just escalated everything. I thought he was going to propose to me, but instead, he wanted me to move in with him with no guarantee of our future. I couldn't do that. I need more. Or at least the promise of more. I should've realized a few things a lot sooner than I did, like he had already been through the marriage and raising a family thing. I mean, he's already a grandfather. Ultimately, that's not what he was looking for, and it most definitely is what I want. Need. I will be devastated, Chandler, if it doesn't happen for me some time in my life!"

Tears of frustration and pain filled her eyes. She took a deep breath and drank more of the water.

"I promised myself I wasn't going to cry."

"If you need to, you should."

"I've already shed way too many tears. I want to move on, I do, but with this injury, I feel as though my life is in a holding pattern. Some days, it takes all my strength just to get out of bed."

"There must be something they can do."

"My orthopedist started talking about surgery. I would really rather these other methods work, but so far, they haven't. I guess I'll have to make that decision when the time comes."

"I think it's probably a good thing I came to New York. Five hours is a long time for you to be sitting on a plane with a bad back."

"I know. My doctor was going to let me make the trip, but there were all sorts of things I had to do to make sure I was comfortable and didn't mess up my back more. Joey's been great about helping me. The others don't know how much I'm hurting, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything to them."

"Is that what was going on yesterday?"

Monica nodded. "I was in a lot of pain. I know this is going to sound strange, but sometimes, I go into your old room. The walls around here start to close in on me, especially when I'm feeling lonely. I don't know why, but when I'm in your room, I feel a sense of peace."

"Which is interesting, considering we never spent any time in my room."

"I know it's weird. The whole thing is weird. What can I say? You told me how you felt about me and how you felt about my getting involved with Richard again. I blatantly rejected you and your advice, you left, and then…and then…"

"And then what?" Chandler asked, his voice low.

"And then everything changed!" she cried. "I tried to be happy with Richard, I really did. But soon after you left, Rachel announced she was pregnant with Ross' child. That stunned me. It really did. Rachel was going to be a mother. She was going to have a baby. A baby, Chandler. The news affected me more than I could even admit to myself. It scared me how much it bothered me that Rachel was pregnant. I wanted to be happy for her, I did. Happy for her and my brother. But I was dying inside. And then it bothered me that I couldn't talk about any of this with the one person who would've understood. Who always understood my incoherent ramblings and jumbled feelings. You!"

"I thought about you when Joey told me the news."

"I couldn't tell any of them how I was really feeling. I couldn't even talk about it with Richard because he didn't get it. Not the same way you would have understood. I was going crazy, Chandler. I missed my best friend. So much. I didn't even realize how much until Rachel gave birth. I was so busy being angry with you and yet, deep down, deep, deep down, I needed you to be here with me. To help ground me. But you weren't here helping me. You were off in San Francisco making a new life for yourself. I couldn't believe that either."

"Monica, my life was out of control when I left. That's why I took off the way I did. I never should have told you how I felt about you, and I should have respected your relationship with Richard. But it killed me to watch how much you suffered when you guys broke up the first time. I was afraid for you, Mon. I didn't mean to make any judgments about you or him."

Monica shook her head. "You were right. In the end, everything you said came true. All I'm left with is trying to mend my broken heart. Again. I can't do this anymore, Chandler. It's too hard! How did you do it? How did you cope when your wife died?"

"I had a lot of help. Especially from Joey. He was great. I was so thankful that he, at least, kept in touch with me."

"He's the one who's been helping me, too."

Chandler shook his head. "Can you believe that Joey, of all people, has kept us both going? Who would've thought it? But he's been a great friend to me."

"Me, too. I think, in some ways, he thought he needed to try to take your place in my life. I'll be forever grateful to him, but it just hasn't been the same."

Chandler saw a small window of opportunity and decided to take it.

"Maybe we could start again?" he asked, his voice tentative.

Monica considered his words. "You're talking about being friends, right?"

"Sure," he said, not certain he was suggesting that at all, but he wanted whatever would work for Monica.

"Because I can't go through the whole romantic relationship thing. I just can't. I won't. I'm not strong enough yet."

"No one says you have to."

"Besides, you live 3,000 miles away and are raising a daughter all by yourself while working full time. I would say your plate is full."

"It is, but that doesn't mean I would never be open to having another relationship. My experience taught me that it's not as scary as I had always imagined it would be. Even when Stephanie died. I love my little girl, and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything."

'You've changed so much," Monica marveled. "I know it couldn't have been easy to lose your wife, especially so tragically in a car crash, but look at you. You've held it together and are raising a daughter. All by yourself. This has been something else I've had to come to terms with. I loved our friendship, but I have to be honest. I never saw you as husband material, much less as being a father. Proves how wrong a person can be, right?"

Just to have something else to focus on, Chandler reached for an apple from the bowl on the table and twisted the stem, avoiding eye contact with Monica. Still focusing on the piece of fruit, he sat back and cleared his throat before he spoke,

"As long as we're being honest, I have a confession to make."

Monica leaned in closer to the table. "Go on."

"I did marry Stephanie because she looked and acted so much like you. It was scary, Mon, and yet I couldn't stop my attraction to her. I saw you every time I looked at her. I would do something, she would react, and all I could see and hear was you. Your face. Your voice. Your expressions. I didn't see Stephanie. I saw only you. It was crazy, I know, and part of me wanted you to know I was married so you would see that I could be husband material. I knew that was part of the reason you didn't take me seriously when I told you I had begun to have feelings for you. I saw it written all over your face. I wanted to prove you wrong so badly. But I was the one who ultimately paid the price. I grew to resent Stephanie after only a few weeks of marriage, but for some reason, she wouldn't let me leave. She knew I wasn't happy, and I couldn't believe she was willing to settle for so little, but she was. She wanted me to stay. So, she did the one thing she knew would keep me tied to her for a long time. She told me she was pregnant and that she was going to keep the baby, whether I stuck around or not.

"I was so angry when I found out. I didn't think I could be that angry. I didn't want a child. I didn't want to be a father. Hell, I didn't want to be a husband! I wanted out of the marriage. I wanted to come back here and face everyone, especially you, and tell you how stupid I was for leaving. I wanted my life, my comfort zone back. Instead, I stayed with my wife and saw her through her pregnancy. And then, Monica, the strangest thing happened. Adrianna came into my life, and it was as if I'd been given a second chance to make everything right. I never knew how happy I could be until the nurse put her in my arms. It felt so right. So natural. She fit perfectly into the crook of my arm and nestled there like she knew she belonged. She was _my_ daughter. I was responsible for her every need, but the idea didn't freak me out. I wanted to be a dad. I wanted to be _her_ dad. It was an incredible time for me."

"And then Stephanie died," Monica said, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Chandler said, placing the apple on the table and folding his hands together. "We were never going to be couple of the year, but we had learned to get along better and to give each other space. We were trying, Mon. We really were. Adrianna misses her something fierce. I just feel like a major piece of the puzzle will always be missing from my daughter's life."

"I saw the pictures of the three of you. You seemed like the perfect family."

"I had a feeling that's what happened when I came back to the hotel room and realized you had left. Those pictures were taken at a good point in our lives, but believe me, we were never the perfect family and we never would have been."

"But," Monica said, her heart squeezing in her chest as she thought about those photos, "for a time, at least, you were a family. I would give anything to know what that feels like."

Chandler rose from the chair and Monica nodded. This time, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing and she didn't want to. They had both been given a lot and both had lost a lot. Despite everything that had happened, they were friends first and foremost.

"I'm sorry for all you've lost," Monica told him, holding out her arms even as the tears continued to spill down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, too, Mon," Chandler said, not quite believing he was holding her again but happy she had given him the opportunity.

She seemed more fragile, more vulnerable than he could ever remember. Even after the first time she'd broken it off with Richard.

"I want us to be friends again," she said, snuggling closer to him. "I need you in my life."

"I want that, too," Chandler assured her, tightening his hug but careful not to cause more discomfort to her back.

She sighed contentedly as he continued to comfort her. This is what she had been missing. Someone she could count on. Someone who she knew would be there for her. Her champion. Chandler had been that someone for her, and she hadn't realized it until he had disappeared from her life. Now that he was back, even if it was only for a few days, she did not want to take him for granted. And she knew she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could. She only wished she felt better.

Reluctantly, Chandler released his hold on her. They stepped back and looked at each other.

"That idea you had," he said. "I think it's a good one."

"What idea?"

"To visit me in San Francisco. Come with me," he offered. "When Adrianna and I return to California, I want you to be on that plane. With us."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi! Thanks for all of your great reviews and follows! I appreciate them very much. I'm glad you like the story!

Disclaimer (I realized I have not done this): I don't own anything related to _Friends_.

* * *

Chapter 5

In the family room, Rachel sat curled up on the cream-colored love seat, answering work emails on her laptop. Telecommuting was her friend. It allowed her to have more quality time with Emma while still being productive, actually more so than when she worked in her office. Being a department manager for the petite women's clothes line at Ralph Lauren was challenging and sometimes headache-inducing, so when she had a chance to be away from the chaos, even if only for a day, she took full advantage of it.

Ready to click "send" with her mouse, her index finger stopped when she caught a snippet of the children's conversation taking place in Emma's bedroom across the hall.

"I really like your mommy," she heard Adrianna say. "She's so pretty and nice."

Rachel smiled and blushed at the unexpected compliment. _What a sweet little girl._ And then she heard her daughter's innocent but ill-advised question.

"Where's your mommy?"

Rachel cringed. She'd meant to tell Emma about Adrianna's mother and how maybe she shouldn't ask her about her mom, and then she'd totally forgotten about it. When she didn't hear a response, she wondered if she should intervene. She started to move her laptop when she heard Adrianna's soft voice.

"I don't have a mommy."

"How come?"

"My daddy says my mommy is in heaven with the angels."

"Oh. Well, maybe my mommy can be yours, too. Let's ask her."

In anticipation of their arrival, Rachel logged off and set aside the laptop. Emma charged into the room and placed her small hands on Rachel's knees, her dark eyes commanding her mother's attention as she announced that Adrianna needed a mommy.

"Can you be her mommy? Please? Then we can be sisters!"

"Oh, honey, you are so sweet," Rachel cooed, drawing both girls into a bear hug. "I'm sorry, but I can't be Adrianna's mommy. We can be her friends, though. And she can call me Aunt Rachel the way you call Phoebe your aunt."

"Okay."

Rachel released them and Emma looked at Adrianna.

"Does that help?"

She nodded.

"Yay! Thanks, Mommy. We should tell Aunt Phoebe that she can be your auntie, too."

Rachel smiled. "I think Phoebe would like that very much."

"Oh," Emma said and clapped her hands the way she'd seen her mother do so often. "Aunt Monica. She's really my aunt. She could be your auntie for sure."

"No!" Adrianna said, her voice loud and strong.

Her vehemence startled Rachel.

"I don't like her!"

"But she's my auntie," Emma said, confused. "She loves me. She's very nice."

"I don't care. I don't like her."

When her bottom lip began to quiver, Rachel stroked the younger girl's hair and told her it was okay.

"We're sorry. We didn't mean to upset you. You do not have to call Monica your aunt."

"Can you call my daddy? I wanna go."

"Sure, sweetie. I'll call your dad right now."

While Rachel made the phone call, Emma told Adrianna to stay where she was and then she ran into her room. She returned with her Ponytail Barbie and held it out to her.

"I want you to have this. I don't want you to be sad anymore."

Adrianna wanted the doll, but she didn't know whether she should take it.

"You said you liked her. Take it. Please?"

"Emma, what are you doing?" Rachel asked when she finished talking to Chandler.

"I want her to take this. She's so sad, Mommy. I don't want her to be sad."

Rachel knelt down between the two girls and looked at Adrianna.

"Emma would like you to have her doll. It would make my daughter, and me, very happy if you would accept her gift."

Adrianna still hesitated. "I'll ask my daddy if I can have it. I don't wanna take your doll. It's not mine."

"Is that okay, Emma?" Rachel asked. "She would like to accept your gift, but she wants to check with her father. That's okay, right?"

Emma shrugged, not really understanding why her friend wouldn't take the Barbie.

"This is so thoughtful of you, honey. You two should go clean up the room. Chandler will be here soon."

As the girls retreated into Emma's bedroom, Rachel stood near the sofa, so proud of her daughter she wanted to burst. She couldn't wait to tell Ross all about it. She also wasn't sure what to make of Adrianna's seemingly staunch dislike of Monica. She decided she needed to share that information with her husband, too.

* * *

"That was Rachel," Chandler said to Monica, after he'd returned his cell phone to his jacket pocket. "I need to pick up Adrianna."

She nodded. Chandler gave her a concerned look.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I think I'm going to rest. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Sounds like a plan. By the way, are you taking anything for the pain?"

Monica tried not to react to the unexpected question. She folded her arms and gave a little shrug. "Sometimes," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I take a pain pill now and then when my back gets too unbearable for me."

Chandler nodded. "That's good. But be careful. You know how easily one can become addicted."

"I sure do," she said, her voice too loud and too shrill.

She hated that she was continuing the charade, but she knew she wasn't strong enough yet to be without her pills.

"You don't have to worry about me."

"But I am worried about you, Mon. I know I haven't been around, but I can still read you. Something's off. If there's something else going on, I hope you know you can confide in me."

Don't do this, Monica silently begged.

"I told you all of my secrets are out."

_Please don't hate me._

"Okay," he said, not sounding convinced. "Maybe I'm just seeing the effects of what you've been going through."

Monica quickly agreed.

"Which is all the more reason I want you to come with me."

Wanting her to know he would be there for her, he gently pried her arms away from her body and held her hands in his, the pads of his fingers caressing her smooth skin. Warmth coursed through her at his gentle touch.

"You need to relax," he said. "I can make that happen for you."

"I want to," she said, gazing into his caring eyes and feeling as though everything would be all right if she just went with him.

But what if she couldn't deal with her pain and could no longer hide it. What then? At least in Manhattan, she had the comfort of her own apartment.

"Then say yes," he cajoled.

It was on the tip of her tongue, but she never spoke it.

"I'll let you know," she said instead. "Soon. I promise."

He nodded. He still knew when not to push. "I'll call you later?"

"You'd better," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Get some rest, Mon. I hope you feel better."

"Thank you," she said, her knees growing weak at the concern in his voice.

Why had she'd never noticed what an incredible man he was when he had lived right across the hall? Or had being a husband and a father made him that way? She'd liked him well enough and they'd had fun, but she'd always thought of him more as her sarcastic, quick-with-the-joke kind of a guy, not someone she could trust her heart to.

Where had _that _come from?

With their hands still linked, he started slowly walking towards the door, reluctant to leave her but knowing he had to pick up his daughter. When he reached the door and started to say good-bye, Monica closed the distance between them. Her light flowery fragrance drifted towards him; his heartbeat accelerated.

"I should be walking out that door," he said, trying unsuccessfully to let go of her hands, "but for some reason, I can't leave you."

"I don't want you to leave," Monica said, her voice wispy.

"My daughter's waiting for me," he said, trying to control his wayward thoughts. "I should go."

"Okay," she said.

Her tone implied she was daring him to be able to leave.

"Monica," he said, his eyes pleading with her to understand that he couldn't do this right now.

Nodding, she took a step back which allowed him to open the door.

"I'll call you," he promised and slipped out of the apartment before he could change his mind.

Monica leaned back against the closed door and let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Could she let herself believe she might have feelings for Chandler that went beyond friendship?

On the other side of the door, Chandler remained rooted for several seconds, wondering if he'd just imagined what had happened or had Monica really been sending him signals?

* * *

"Daddy!"

Looking forlorn, Adrianna raced towards Chandler as soon as she saw him. He bent down to receive her in his arms. He knew the way she clung to him meant she felt insecure or scared.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

He looked to Rachel for help.

"I wanna go home," she said, before the older woman could speak.

"Okay. We can go back to the hotel."

"No," she said, wanting her father to understand. "I wanna go back to _our _home."

He let go so he could look at her.

"You mean you want to leave New York?"

She nodded, looking miserable.

"What happened here?" he asked, directing most of his attention towards Rachel.

"I wanna give this doll to Adrianna," Emma spoke up, "but she won't take it."

"I want it," she whispered to her father, "but it's not mine."

"Emma offered a gift to your daughter," Rachel explained, "but she said she needed to ask you first."

"O-kaay," Chandler said, still not understanding why that would make his daughter want to leave Manhattan.

He stood up and asked Adrianna to follow him to the sofa so he could speak with her. Rachel and Emma stayed in the foyer to give them some privacy.

"Tell me what's wrong. I don't think this has anything to do with Emma's Barbie, right?"

She nodded.

"I don't like it here," she whispered.

"You mean Rachel and Emma's home?"

She shook her head. "I wanna go home!"

He stroked her hair. "I understand that, but I want to know why. What happened?"

When his daughter wouldn't answer, he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, trying not to let his frustration show. She had done this quite a bit after her mother had died. She would express a thought and then not say anything else. Chandler thought she was moving out of that phase, but now he wasn't so sure.

He rose from the sofa and looked towards Rachel and Emma.

"I'm sorry this didn't go well."

Rachel crossed the room to stand next to him. Emma stayed close to her mother.

"It's okay. But we would really like it if Adrianna accepted Emma's gift."

"Of course," Chandler said and smiled at both of them. "Thank you for being so thoughtful and nice to my little girl, Emma."

"You're welcome," she said and then handed the Barbie to Chandler.

Disappointment lined his face as he had to coax his daughter to acknowledge and take the gift.

"Adrianna, what do you say?"

"Thank you," she said, rising to stand next to Emma.

Emma nodded. "I'm sorry my mommy can't be your mommy."

Chandler did a double take as he looked to Rachel for an explanation of _that_ sentence. She cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Let's talk over here," Rachel said quietly, motioning Chandler away from the girls.

"What is going on?" he demanded.

"All my fault," she said. "I'm so sorry, Chandler. I meant to coach Emma about Stephanie, and I totally forgot. She innocently asked Adrianna where her mother was and, well, one thing led to another."

"So, Adrianna's upset she had to talk about her mother."

It was more of a statement than a question, so Rachel decided to leave it at that. She didn't want to bring Monica's name into the conversation. She felt that information needed to come from Adrianna herself.

"The girls played very well together," Rachel told him. "I think maybe Adrianna just got a little exercised about having to talk about her mother. Maybe she's just tired."

"Maybe," he said, his clear blue eyes studying his daughter as he tried to figure out what was really going on. "We should get going. Thanks for inviting her to play with Emma. That was very sweet that she wanted Adrianna to have one of her dolls."

"You're very welcome," she said.

They shared a brief hug, and then Chandler told his daughter they were leaving. She started to run towards her father, and then she stopped. She retraced her steps to where Emma stood and gave the older girl a hug.

"Thank you for my Barbie," she said. "I liked playing with you."

"Me, too," Emma said and smiled.

"I'm sorry you won't get to see Ross," Rachel said. "But, hey, why don't you two come to the coffeehouse later? That's one place we haven't been to in a long time. At least not all of us together."

The idea appealed to Chandler, but he wasn't sure. "Can I let you know?"

Rachel looked at Adrianna, who still seemed sad, and nodded.

"Of course. Keep in touch, okay?"

"I will. Thanks again. Bye, Emma."

She waved at both of them, as she and her mother watched them drive away.

* * *

Chandler thought a nap might help his daughter, but when they returned to the hotel room, he realized she was too wound up to sleep. He tried to interest her in drawing a picture for him, but she shook her head. He offered to do a puzzle with her, but she didn't want to. She'd hardly said a word since they left Rachel's; he could only hope this was temporary. He didn't think he could cope with another period of time where she hardly spoke.

A knock at the door was a welcome sound. Seeing Phoebe and Mike standing on the other side was a nice surprise.

"Hi!" Phoebe said and waved.

"Come in."

"We didn't get a chance to talk much at Monica's," Mike said, "so we thought we'd come by to see how you're doing."

"It's good to see you guys. Sit down."

There was plenty of seating since Chandler had reserved a suite. He'd wanted there to be a lot of room so he and Adrianna wouldn't feel crowded and it would feel more like a home to her.

"So," he said, his eyes drawn to the sparkling diamond ring on Phoebe's left hand, "have you set a date?"

"Not an exact date," she said, "but we know the time of year we want to get married. We want a winter wedding!"

"That sounds nice. Cold, but nice."

"We want it to be an evening ceremony, too," Mike added.

"Ah, so it will be even colder," Chandler quipped and then shook his head. "Don't mind me. It sounds great."

"We…we know you haven't attended any of our get-togethers since you left, but now that you've come back, we hope you'll make it to our wedding."

He smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you."

"So make sure you dress warmly," Mike said, trying to add his own joke that didn't go over so well.

"You're just so adorable!" Phoebe said to her fiancé.

Chandler had to voice his observation.

"I don't ever remember seeing you smile this much."

Phoebe agreed. "I have been smiling a lot lately. Thanks to this one."

"I'm very happy for you guys."

"We have something else to ask you," she said, reaching for Mike's hand and holding it in hers on her lap. "We would be honored if Adrianna could be a flower girl in our wedding."

Chandler sat up straighter. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm having pairs in my bridal party. Frank and Alice's daughters Leslie and Chandler are going to be my junior bridesmaids, and Monica and Rachel are going to be my maid and matron of honor, so I thought how great would it be to have Emma and Adrianna as my flower girls. What do you say? Wouldn't that just be the best?"

"I've never pictured my daughter being in a wedding, especially her own," Chandler said. "But it does sound nice. Let's see what she thinks."

Before the happy couple had arrived, Adrianna had climbed onto her father's bed and had closed her eyes. He knew she wasn't sleeping, though, so he asked her to say "hello" to their guests. She trudged towards her father who pulled her up onto his lap.

"You remember Phoebe and Mike, right?"

She nodded.

"You are the cutest thing," Phoebe gushed. "I _so_ want you to be my flower girl."

Adrianna looked at her father in confusion.

"They're getting married this winter," he explained. "And they want you to be their flower girl, along with Emma. What do you think?"

She shrugged. If she was in their wedding, that meant they would be coming back here. She didn't want to come back here. She wanted to go home.

"You would be the bestest flower girl ever," Phoebe said.

Adrianna liked the way the older woman looked and talked. She seemed very nice, and she wore very colorful clothes. Adrianna liked bright colors.

"You will have so much fun. So, so much fun!"

The more Phoebe talked and expressed herself so vivaciously, the more Adrianna liked her. She did seem like a fun person. And she thought Mike was cute. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to come back here. She could see her Uncle Joey, too.

"Okay," she said and smiled when Phoebe clapped her hands and rushed to give her a hug.

"Oh, yay!" Phoebe cheered. "We are going to have a blast."

Relief coursed through Chandler that his daughter had accepted the request. Maybe she wasn't sliding into her silent world again. Maybe she just needed some quiet time. He knew he needed to continue to monitor her mood and her reaction to people and things, but this was a good sign that she'd agreed to be in Phoebe's wedding.

"Let's celebrate the good news at Central Perk," Phoebe said. "We're all supposed to be meeting there later."

"I don't know for sure yet if we're going, but I'll let you know."

"Thanks so much for letting your daughter be in our wedding," Mike said to Chandler, as they shook hands.

He knelt down so he could speak with Adrianna. "And thank you, Adrianna. You have made my wife-to-be very, very happy."

"You're welcome," she said and then looked towards her father.

Mike, with his wavy mop of dark hair and mischievous eyes, was _very_ cute, and she suddenly felt very shy.

* * *

Monica heard someone roaming around in her apartment; she figured it was Joey so she emerged from her bedroom to greet him.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"I was lying down, but I wasn't sleeping."

She took a seat on the sofa; Joey sat next to her.

"So?" he asked, unable to read much from her facial expression. "How'd it go?"

She gave him a small but encouraging smile. "Not bad, actually. We said some things, cleared the air so to speak, and decided to be friends again."

"That's great!" Joey said, playfully punching her upper arm.

"Yeah, it is," Monica agreed, rising from the couch.

Joey watched as she frowned and paced. "Then why doesn't it feel great?"

"I didn't tell him about the pills," she blurted out.

"What? Why not? I thought that was one of the main things you wanted to talk to him about."

"I couldn't do it. I'm not ready. But," she continued, wanting to lessen his concern, "I may be going with him to California!"

"How's _that _gonna work?" he asked, confused.

"It gets me away from here. I really think I need that. Maybe in a different environment, I won't think about my pain so much. Maybe California will actually help my back."

"I don't' know about this, Monica."

"Why? You were the one encouraging me to talk to Chandler and to visit him in California. Why are you against this now?"

"'Cause I thought you were gonna ask him for help, not play house."

"That's not what I'm doing," Monica defended. "Who's to say I'm going to stay with him?"

Joey snickered. "You think _Chandler_ is going to let you stay in a hotel when he's got that big beautiful house in Walnut Creek? Get real."

"He will if it's my choice."

Joey rose and stood in front of Monica. "And why would that be your choice? C'mon, Mon. At least be honest with yourself."

"Why are you talking to me like this?"

Joey sighed. "Because you need help. I agreed not to say anything, but if you're not going to stop taking those pills, I am not covering for you anymore. I mean it."

"Okay," she said, realizing she had probably pushed her friend to his limit. "If I decide to go to California, I'll give you my pills before I leave."

Joey gave her an exasperated look. "And then what are you gonna do when you can't take the pain?"

"It won't be like that," she said, with a sudden resolve she did not completely believe but knew she had to try to maintain. "I've gotta start taking control over my pain, Joey. I've let it run my life. Well, no more. As of now, I am willing myself not to need those pills."

Joey couldn't hide his skepticism, but he also wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. "I know if anyone can do it, you can. But I also know the pain is real. Take care of yourself, okay, Mon? That's all I'm talkin' about."

Monica enveloped him into a hug. "You've been a great friend. I know what I'm doing. I have an opportunity to get out of this rut I've been in, and I plan to make the most of it. Without depending on pain pills."

But the words sounded hollow even as she tried to convince herself she could do this. She'd battled her food addiction and won. This was no different. She could do this. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be done. She would conquer her dependence on pain pills once and for all. For the sake of her future and her sanity, she knew she had to.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"You would have been so proud of your daughter," Rachel gushed to Ross as they got ready to go to Central Perk after eating a family dinner.

"Why? What'd she do?"

"She saw how sad Adrianna was because her mother is gone, and out of the goodness of her heart, without any prompting from me, she offered one of her favorite Barbies to Adrianna so she wouldn't be sad."

"Wow, Rach, that's great. I love hearing things like that. I know it's because of your influence and the time you spend with her that she's so caring. I'm gonna go tell her what a great gesture that was."

"Please do," Rachel encouraged. "I wanted to talk about it at dinner, but I got the feeling from her that she didn't like me making a big deal about it. Go tell her. She'll be so happy."

Ross entered his daughter's room.

"Can we talk?"

"Okay."

He sat next to her on the bed.

"Your mom told me about what you did for Adrianna. I know you didn't want her to say anything, but I'm glad she did. We're very proud of you, sweetheart. That was so nice of you to realize that Adrianna was hurting and that you did something to help her. We love you so much."

Ross hugged his daughter.

"I like her, Daddy. I wish she lived here."

"Well, maybe they will visit us more often, and maybe we can visit them. That will give you something to look forward to."

She nodded. "She loves Uncle Joey, but I feel bad she doesn't like Aunt Monica. Why doesn't she like my auntie?"

"She told you that?" Ross asked, surprised.

"Yeah. That's what made her sad. I felt bad. I said Aunt Monica could be her aunt. She said she didn't like her. I didn't mean to make her sad, Daddy."

Ross hugged his daughter again. "Of course you didn't, Emma. It was an honest mistake. You didn't know."

"I love my auntie even though she gets mad at me sometimes when I don't put my toys away."

"That's your aunt Monica," he agreed. "Who, by the way, we'll be seeing soon. Are you almost ready to go?"

"Yes."

"Good girl. Come into our room when you're ready."

Ross returned to the bedroom and relayed the conversation he'd had with Emma.

"Adrianna really doesn't like Monica?"

"That's what she said," Rachel confirmed. "It was very strange. I can't imagine Monica doing anything to make that child not like her. If anything, knowing your sister, she probably made a huge fuss over her."

"I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact she looks like her mother, according to what Joey told us."

Rachel frowned. "I thought about that, too. I guess it's the only thing that makes any sense."

"It should be interesting if we're all at Central Perk."

Rachel couldn't have agreed more.

* * *

"Are you feeling better?" Chandler asked his daughter after they had eaten dinner in their suite.

She nodded.

"Do you still want to leave?"

She shrugged.

"You haven't been able to spend much time with your uncle Joey."

"I know. I miss him."

"Do you wanna see him tonight? I think he's going to be at the coffeehouse where we all used to hang out when I lived here."

"I guess."

Could she _be_ any less enthusiastic? He hoped, once she saw Joey, she would feel better.

"Before we go, I want to talk to you about something."

She sat on the divan, waiting for her father to speak.

"I had a long talk with Monica today."

Adrianna squirmed at the mention of Monica's name. Chandler stroked his daughter's hair.

"I know she's not your favorite person, but I found out she's been suffering, and I didn't like hearing that. She's in a lot of pain. Physical pain. You remember how unhappy we were and how we felt kinda scared after your mother died?"

She nodded.

"Well, Monica is feeling sad and lonely. I thought maybe we could try to help her."

"How?"

"I was thinking maybe we could help Monica the way Uncle Joey helped us. Remember that?"

"Like when he was with us?"

Chandler nodded. 'Yes. Exactly. You liked it when he lived with us, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"I'm thinking maybe it would help Monica if she came to live with us for a while."

"Why?" she asked, not sure she liked _that _idea. At all.

"Because we could help her not to be lonely anymore. And maybe she would feel better if she stayed with us. Just for a little while."

"Do you love her?"

She had raised the stakes. She'd asked him if he liked Monica and now she wanted to know if he loved her. The way Adrianna asked the question sounded almost accusatory to Chandler. He knew he was walking a very fine line. He so wanted to help Monica, but he knew he couldn't risk alienating his daughter, who was still coping with the death of her mother.

"I'm very fond of her," he responded, trying to choose his words carefully without misleading her. "We've known each other a long time, and we were very good friends."

"Then why did you leave?"

Why was she asking him these questions again? There was no way he could or would be able to explain what had happened in a way she would understand and that he cared to reveal at this particular time. So, instead, he played the work card.

"My work transferred me from here to San Francisco."

"You said she was mad."

"She was. That's why we talked about our feelings today."

"She wants to stay with us?"

"Monica's thinking about it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she says she wants to come with us. That's why I'm telling you. I want you to hear this from me."

Adrianna shrugged again, which Chandler knew wasn't a good sign, but when she said she was okay with Monica staying with them, he accepted her acquiescence without further explanation.

* * *

"How's my girl?" Joey greeted Adrianna a little while later when she and Chandler showed up at his apartment.

"I'm okay. I miss you."

"I miss you, too. How do you like New York?"

She shrugged and scrunched up her face.

"What's that about?" he asked, looking from Adrianna to Chandler.

"She's not too thrilled with Manhattan, I guess," Chandler said by way of explanation. "Would you mind keeping an eye on her? I'd like to go across the hall."

"No problem."

"I'll be right back," he said, as Adrianna watched him go to Monica's apartment.

"Why don't you like New York?" Joey asked, as he gathered what he would need to go to the coffeehouse.

"I miss my house."

"You're homesick," he said, kneeling in front of her.

"I guess. I like seeing you. And I like Rachel and Emma. Phoebe is funny. I like Mike, too."

"So what's the problem?" Joey asked, not understanding why she would be homesick if she liked the people she was around.

"I don't like her!" she said, pointing to the closed door across the hall. "But my daddy does."

Joey followed her finger and realized she was talking about Monica.

"Is this because of your mother?" he asked.

"I dunno. My daddy talks about her all the time. And he wants to see her. And Emma wants me to call her my aunt, but I don't want to!"

"Whoa, whoa," Joey said, when he saw her blue eyes filling with tears. "It's okay, Adrianna. Don't cry."

He hugged her close and tried to comfort her the way he had when she would wake up from a bad dream after her mother had died.

"I wanna go home," she said again, her small voice muffled against the front of his black shirt.

"Does your dad know?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm sure you'll be returning to California. You know your dad won't make you stay here if it's going to make you so unhappy."

"I guess," she said. "But she's prolly gonna come with us."

Adrianna snuggled closer to Joey as she sniffled and tried not to cry. Even though he could tell she was not happy, he was glad Chandler had talked to her about the possibility of Monica staying with them because, as much as he no longer thought it was such a good idea, he knew it was most likely going to happen.

* * *

"I didn't call, but I did come by, which is even better, right?" Chandler asked Monica with a smile, after she'd let him into her apartment.

"Seeing you is better than just talking," she agreed. "Are you going to the coffeehouse? Where's Adrianna?"

"We are. I left her with Joey. She loves him to pieces, and they haven't spent much time together."

"That's so sweet."

"You're coming too, right?"

"I am. I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to all of us being there again. Plus the girls, too."

"Is anyone else coming here or are we meeting at Central Perk?"

"We're all meeting there."

"You look more rested than you did earlier. Did you sleep?"

"Some. Taking a hot shower and putting heat on my back helped."

"Good. Did you have a chance to think about California?"

"A little."

"I don't mean to pressure you, but Adrianna is not very happy here. I think she's homesick. We're probably going to cut our visit short."

"I understand. Well, I don't have to leave when you do, right? I can always visit later."

"That's true. I just thought it would be easier for you with your back if I was there to help."

Monica smiled. "That's so thoughtful of you. I promise I'll make up my mind. Soon."

* * *

The others were already seated in the coffeehouse when Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Adrianna arrived.

"Oh, yay!" Phoebe said. "Everyone's here!"

"This is so great!" Rachel agreed.

She made room on the couch for Monica and Chandler. Joey pulled one of the tables and chairs closer to the couch and sat down. Adrianna sat next to Emma on the rug near the sofa. The adults ordered coffee; Emma and Adrianna drank milk.

"So, does this feel weird or what?" Ross asked, directing his attention to Chandler.

"I have to say, it does seem strange to be back here. This is so far removed from anything I did after I left. I can't remember ever stepping into a coffeehouse. Not that San Francisco doesn't have some great ones. I just never thought about it. But being here seems so right. I guess you can go home again."

Adrianna and Emma were coloring, but she was listening intently to what her father was saying. Why was he talking like that? This wasn't their home!

"Many times we sat here," Rachel said, "and thought about you and wondered if you would ever come back and what it would be like if you did. We're glad you decided to visit."

"Me, too. I guess Joey finally got tired of coming to see us and decided it was time for us to visit him."

"What?" Joey said, somewhat confused. 'That's not true. I didn't stop visiting because I wanted to make you come here."

"Well, you stopped taking our phone calls, too. I gotta tell you, Joe. Adrianna and I were starting to get worried. We wanted to make sure _you_ were all right."

Knowing she was the primary reason Joey didn't feel he could talk to Chandler as freely as he had in the past, Monica shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. Joey gave Monica a covert I-told-you-so look, which she knew she had coming.

"Well, I think it's worked out well," Ross said. "Look at how great our kids get along. Rachel and I talked about visiting you, but the timing never seemed right."

"Yeah," Mike said. "Phoebe and I talked about stopping in San Francisco during our honeymoon, but now that you're going to be here for the wedding, that's even better."

"That's great!" Joey said. "Why didn't you tell us you'll be attending the wedding?"

"Oh," Phoebe spoke up. "That's because I have an announcement to make. Adrianna is going to be paired with Emma as my flower girl. Isn't that exciting?"

Adrianna looked up to see the smile on Phoebe's face and started to giggle. She couldn't help it. She loved Phoebe's enthusiasm. It made her feel happy.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Rachel said. "Think how cute they will look walking down the aisle together. Phoebe, we have to talk about how we're going to do this."

"I know. I can't wait!"

Phoebe and Rachel started talking more about the wedding. Mike, Ross and Joey discussed the New York Knicks. Chandler watched with curiosity as Monica sat quietly on the couch. Her back had started to stiffen.

"I have to stand up," she said to Chandler.

He rose and helped her to her feet.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really," she admitted. "I gotta move around."

"Let's go up to the counter. I could use a refill, and I haven't said hello to Gunther."

She agreed and let Chandler help her to the front. None of this was lost on Adrianna who colored the green grass so hard, she broke her crayon.

"You don't seem to be having a very good time," he commented. "Why didn't you join the conversation with Phoebe and Rachel?"

"There's not much for me to contribute when they're talking about the kids, now is there?"

He gently rubbed her arm. "I'm sorry, Mon. I wasn't thinking."

She shook her head. "It's not you, it's me. I can't even help with the preparations. I just hope I'm able to walk down the aisle when the time comes."

"If you're not better by the wedding, then something is seriously wrong."

The stark fear Chandler saw in her crystal blue eyes gave him pause. What was really going on?

"Monica, are you really that afraid?"

"Well, it's not getting any better."

"If your doctor is that inept or won't refer you to the right specialist, then for sure, we will find a better doctor. You can't go on like this."

"I know," she said, barely above a whisper.

She realized she had another opportunity to at least mention the pills, but chose not to. Why was he making this so damn easy for her, and why couldn't she just tell him? Maybe she would feel differently if she were with him in California. Other than a few logistics she knew could be worked out, what was keeping her in Manhattan? Absolutely nothing, except her own fear. Chandler was there. Standing right in front of her. Offering her his help. Well, she certainly wasn't a fool. It had taken her a while because she was scared, but she knew an opportunity when she saw one, and she definitely wanted to take advantage of this one.

As the gathering started to wind down, Monica and Chandler returned to their seats. Sitting next to each other, Monica started to recall all of the fun times they'd had teasing each other, talking about the day's events, discussing life's issues with each other and their friends, and just relaxing together. She wanted that. She wanted that more than she'd even realized until they had returned to Central Perk.

She set her mug on the table and then spoke to the whole group.

"I guess this is a night for announcements," she began, making sure she had everyone's attention. "Because I have one, too."

"Yeah, Mon," Rachel said. "What is it?"

"Chandler has invited me to return to California with him and Adrianna, and I've decided I'm going to go!"

While most of the others sat stunned, an impulse Chandler hadn't had in so long he'd almost forgotten it existed resurfaced. While the others looked at each other and fumbled for words, it took all of his self-control not to stand up in the middle of Central Perk and do "the dance." The only thing that could have tempered his reaction to Monica's news was if he had thought to look towards his daughter, who sat crestfallen as she wondered what this meant for her world.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Before they left Central Perk, Ross and Rachel spoke about Monica's announcement.

"I'm not so sure about this," Rachel said. "She must not know how Adrianna feels about her."

"Should we tell her?" Ross asked.

"I think someone should."

"Let's go back to the apartment with her."

"Good idea."

Rachel and Ross approached Monica and told her they wanted to go home with her.

"Okay," she said. "But I'm very tired. I hope you don't plan to stay long."

"We won't. We just want to tell you something."

While they wanted to talk with Monica, Joey wanted to talk with Chandler.

"Come back to my place," he said.

"Okay, but just for a few. I wanted to talk more with Monica, but I can tell Adrianna is getting sleepy."

* * *

When they arrived at Monica's apartment, Rachel made Emma comfortable on the bed in the guest room, and then she joined her husband at the kitchen table.

"What do you want to tell me?" Monica said without preamble.

She was tired and did not want to be having this conversation. She would have rather been talking to Chandler about her trip.

"This decision you've made," Ross said. "Are you sure it's the right thing to do? I mean, it's been years since you've hung out with Chandler, and it's not like you've been miserable since he's been gone. Why…why are you willing to travel 3,000 miles to a place you've never even seen?"

"This is something I've been thinking about even before Chandler came here. I'd been considering visiting him. I thought it might be good for me."

"Have you been missing him, Mon?" Rachel asked.

"I feel bad about what happened with his wife. Joey kept me pretty well informed. I thought maybe we could help each other and that maybe I could help him with Adrianna."

Rachel and Ross looked at each other.

"Adrianna is who we wanted to talk about," Rachel said. "Mon, honey, this isn't easy for us to say but, well, we're not…we're not sure how much she really likes you."

Monica frowned. "You've noticed, too."

"So you're aware of this?" Ross asked.

"I know she hasn't exactly embraced me the way she seems to have taken to Rachel and Phoebe. I think the fact I look like her mother bothers her."

"Then why would you voluntarily put yourself in a position where you'd be uncomfortable or you'd make her and possibly Chandler feel uncomfortable?" Ross asked.

"Because Chandler and I have made amends. We talked through some things, and I feel like we made a lot of progress. He was one of my best friends when he lived here. Is it wrong of me to want to nurture that friendship?"

"No, of course not," Rachel said. "But think about it. Maybe you don't need to do it from California."

"What if I want to?" she challenged. "He's been great to me since he returned. I need a change. I need to get out of my own head. I think California will do that for me."

'Trying to get a four year old to like you will keep you very busy," Rachel remarked.

"Not to mention keeping Chandler from having to choose sides," Ross added. "Are you sure you're up to this?"

"You guys make it sound like she hates me. I don't think it's that bad. I can win her over."

"At what cost, Mon?" Rachel asked. "What if it ruins whatever you have rebuilt or are rebuilding with Chandler?"

"Why are you so negative?" Monica countered. "What if my going to California brings us closer?"

"Brings who closer?" Ross asked.

"All of us!" Monica said, her voice getting louder. "Man, you guys don't have any faith in me, do you?"

When Rachel reached for her hands, Monica pulled them away and sat with her hands folded on her lap.

"It's not that," Rachel said, softening her tone. "It's just that, no matter how much you try to hide it or tell us it's not that bad, we know you're not feeling all that great and we know you're upset because you haven't been working. This just seems like a lot to take on with no guarantees. What if Adrianna never comes around?"

"Yeah," Ross said. "What happens then?"

"I don't know because that's not what's going to happen. I believe Adrianna will learn to like me. I'm not a horrible person. She will see that, and then we can start to form our own relationship. I believe I will succeed, and Adrianna will get past the fact that I look a lot like her late mother.'

"And then what?" Ross asked. "You…you think you're going to become this cozy little family?"

When Monica didn't answer, Rachel and Ross looked at each other.

"Oh, my," Rachel said, as the light suddenly dawned on her and her husband. "That is _exactly _what you think, isn't it?"

* * *

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Joey asked Chandler after Adrianna had climbed into the bed in Chandler's old room.

"Yes," he replied. "Monica needs help. She also needs a change. I can provide both of those things."

"Even if your daughter is less than enthused about it?"

"She told you that?"

"Yes, she did, but even if she hadn't, I can't believe _you_ haven't noticed how she acts around Monica."

Chandler shrugged. "I'm not blind. I've noticed."

"And you're _choosing_ to ignore it?"

"I'm not ignoring it," he bristled. "I'm giving her and Monica the benefit of the doubt. With time, my daughter will realize what a great lady Monica is. And then she will want to be around her."

"And what do you do in the meantime? Keep them in separate parts of the house?"

"No," Chandler said. "That's crazy. It's not that bad. Adrianna will not be mean to Monica. I will make sure of that. Plus, that's not who she is. And I'm sure Monica understands what Adrianna is going through. It's going to be fine, Joe. Trust me."

"I want to, but I don't think you realize what you're getting yourself into. Monica gets real cranky when her back starts to bother her. You haven't been around her that much to know just how bitchy she can be when she's hurting. Maybe she wouldn't mean to take it out on you or Adrianna, but what if she does? How are you going to handle it?"

"It'll be okay," he reiterated. "One of the first things I'm going to do is get help for Monica. There has to be something they can do for her back. Once she's not in so much pain, she won't be irritable, right?"

Joey wasn't convinced.

"I think you should talk to Adrianna."

"I did. She said she was okay with Monica staying with us."

Joey shook his head but decided not to say anything more.

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I do," Chandler said, with more conviction than he felt.

He knew he had taken Adrianna at her word even though he saw how sullen she had become when he'd mentioned Monica might be staying with them.

"This will be good for her," he said, more to convince himself than Joey. "Her caretaker Nancy is nice, and no offense to you, but this will give Adrianna a chance to be around someone else, a female, who knew me before she was born and who was an important part of my life back then. I think she and Monica will get along fine. It may take a little while, but I see this as a positive thing for both of them. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my daughter back to the hotel."

But when he walked inside the room to tell Adrianna they were leaving, he saw that she had fallen asleep.

"Leave her there," Joey said. "You can crash on the couch tonight."

"Thanks. I probably won't sleep much anyway. I'm going to call the airlines to see if I can change my reservation and add one more passenger."

"When are you leaving?"

"I wanted to discuss it with Monica, but I was thinking either late tomorrow or early morning the following day. I think the sooner I get Adrianna home, the better."

"I wish you lots of luck, man," Joey said, patting his friend on the back. "I think you're gonna need it."

* * *

"Where's my daddy?" Adrianna asked Joey, shuffling out of the room the next morning while rubbing her eyes.

"He's across the hall talking to Monica about your trip home."

"Oh."

She sat on the couch.

"I have cereal. Want some?"

"'Kay."

After handing her a bowl and a spoon, he sat on the coffee table across from her and ate from his bowl.

"You know your dad wants only the best for you, right?"

She nodded.

"He just…he wants to help Monica, too."

"I know," she said, her voice low. "My daddy told me she was sad."

"That's true. So maybe she won't be sad if she's with you guys."

The little girl shrugged. "Miss Nancy will be with us. My daddy works a lot."

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence.

"Do you want juice?"

She shook her head.

"I'm gonna miss you," she said.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, but we'll talk like we used to and keep in touch."

She nodded. "I wish you were comin' with us and not Monica."

"Sweetheart, you're going to be okay. You know your dad would never intentionally do anything to hurt you, right?"

"I know. He loves me."

"He loves you so much. More than anything and anyone. You have to believe that."

"I do. But I know my daddy loves Monica, too."

* * *

Monica had spent a restless night thinking about what Ross and Rachel had said. Now that she was face to face with Chandler, she knew she had to ask him.

"Are you sure you want me to go with you?"

"Yes. This will be good for you. For all of us."

"What about Adrianna?"

Chandler sighed. "My daughter will be fine. I wish certain people would stop worrying about her. She knows I'm going to take care of her. She knows I'm not going to let anything bad happen to her."

"But maybe this is too much change too soon."

"I admit she's been feeling unsettled since we came here, but I understand that. That's why we're leaving tonight. Once she gets home, she'll be fine. She'll have her room and her things and her friends, and she'll be all right. Trust me."

"I do," Monica said, resisting the urge to trace the pad of her index finger along his cheek.

He seemed frustrated; she wanted to lessen his anxiety, but she still hadn't conquered her own.

"I just don't want to come between you and your daughter or be the cause of any friction."

"You won't," he tried to assure her.

He stroked her hair and pulled her closer.

"She will come around. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have asked you to come with us."

"Okay," she said, trying to quell her mounting excitement.

Despite the less than ideal circumstances, she was very much looking forward to being in California. With Chandler. And Adrianna, too.

"I'll be ready to leave with you tonight."

* * *

When Chandler and Adrianna arrived at Monica's apartment later that evening, the gang was there to say good-bye and to wish Monica well.

"I'm glad you're going to be there," Phoebe said to Monica. "This way you and I can talk about what Adrianna needs for my wedding. I so wasn't looking forward to talking to Chandler about it."

"Call me anytime," Monica said and gave Phoebe and Mike a warm hug.

"We hope this will help you," Ross and Rachel said as the three of them hugged. "You know we want only good things for you."

"I know."

"We'll keep an eye on the apartment and on Joey," Ross whispered.

Monica smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate that."

She sat down to hug her niece who said she already missed her.

"I miss you, too, but we'll be in touch."

"Sure," Rachel said. "Emma and Adrianna are going to keep in touch. This will be fine. It'll be like you never left."

"I wish all of you were staying," Joey said when he knew they were getting ready to leave. "I can't keep saying good-bye. It's too hard."

He pulled Chandler into a hug.

"You know you can visit any time," Chandler said.

"I know, but it's not the same. All of you need to come back here. For good!"

Adrianna gave everyone a hug; she held on to Joey the longest.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too. You be good for your dad, okay?"

"I will."

"And…be nice to Monica."

She nodded but didn't say anything. Joey could only hope for the best.

After the emotional send off, Joey decided he needed to hit the town. It wasn't until he stepped outside of his apartment and saw Monica's door that he realized she had really gone to California with Chandler and Adrianna. And then another thought popped into his head: Monica had left without giving him her pills the way she had promised she would. After he stewed about that for a few minutes, he realized there was nothing he could do.

"I need a drink and a woman," he said out loud as he entered the streets of the Village.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Wow, Chandler. You have an absolutely beautiful home."

"Thank you. We like it."

"What's not to like? You have a spacious living room and family room, both with fireplaces, and a dining room that looks big and formal enough to entertain the Queen. And that kitchen. Do you know what I could do in that kitchen? I'd never want to leave it. You have everything. But unless I really don't know you anymore, I can't imagine you use those state-of-the-art appliances."

Chandler grinned. "I guess you've forgotten I make killer pancakes."

"I did," she admitted, "but come on. You don't need all those fancy gadgets to make pancakes!"

Knowing that what he was about to tell her would be unsettling, Chandler shifted his feet and stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. "Not me. Stephanie. She…she enjoyed cooking and baking, too. But in my defense, I didn't know about that particular trait until we were married. I just never bothered to change anything in the kitchen after she was gone."

Another similarity Monica hadn't known about. Would they never end?

"Well, it's obvious she liked beautiful things."

"Expensive items, too," he said, pointing to a Ming vase that decorated the oak table near the entryway.

Monica didn't say anything, but she had wondered if Chandler had been able to afford everything she saw inside the house, not to mention the house itself. She knew he had a good job, but she didn't think it was _that_ good. And if she remembered correctly, Stephanie had worked at the same place, so it wasn't like she'd had a six- or seven-figure income.

"Adrianna is going to show you her room, and then we'll let you get settled in your room. Right, Adrianna?"

"Okay."

Not bothering to wait, she skipped way ahead of Monica who was walking slowly thanks to the long plane ride. Chandler sensed his daughter did not want to be with Monica, so he decided to make sure she didn't leave her behind.

"Adrianna."

The sharp edge to his voice stopped Adrianna's progress. She knew she was supposed to cease what she was doing and look at him. She turned around to face her father, aware she had done something to upset him.

"Wait for Monica and walk with her," he instructed, using the same tone.

Adrianna nodded. She didn't like it when he spoke to her that way. Knowing what she had to do, she walked to where Monica stood and stayed by her side until they reached their destination.

"This is a great room," Monica said, looking around.

The decor and the furnishings were every bit a little girl's dream. She could only imagine Stephanie had decorated it. Either that or Chandler had hired a fabulous interior decorator.

"There's my Barbies and stuff," Adrianna said, pointing to a corner area near her bed. "See, it's not like Emma's but that's okay."

"It's lovely," Monica said, pleased Adrianna had conversed on her own.

Earlier, Monica had stopped in _her_ tracks when she'd heard Chandler's stern voice. He definitely knew how to get his daughter's attention.

"Do friends come to play with you?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you have tea parties?"

"I have."

"Aren't they the best? I used to love having tea parties with my friends. I was always the hostess."

"They're okay."

She was still on guard, but at least they were communicating.

"Wanna hear something funny?"

"Okay."

"You remember my brother Ross?"

Adrianna nodded.

"Well, when he was little, he used to dress up and have tea parties, too."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. If we were in New York, I could show you a picture. Or the videotape," she said and laughed.

"Next time we're there, you'll have to do that," Chandler said, stepping into the room. "I'd love to see it again."

"You saw it?" Adrianna asked.

"I sure did. You'll like it."

"I'll show it to you," Monica said. "But let's not say anything to Ross."

Adrianna giggled. "Okay."

"You need to get ready for bed, Miss Giggly. It's way past your bedtime."

"Thank you for showing me your room."

She nodded and then from her dresser drawer, she pulled out the pajamas she wanted to wear.

"I'm going to show Monica to her room and then I'll be back."

The guest bedroom was just down the hall from Adrianna's. The master bedroom was at the end of the long hallway.

"This is so nice," Monica said, taking in her surroundings. "I love that padded window seat. If I sit there, can I see your backyard?"

"Yes. I'll show you around the outside in the daylight."

"Did Stephanie do the decorating?"

"Most of it. This room used to be her office. Her parents convinced me to turn it into a guest room. It worked out well when they decided to live with us for a while after Stephanie died and when Joey stayed."

"Do her parents live in the area?"

Chandler nodded. "They live across the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin."

"I've heard of that area. They have some great restaurants. Very ritzy, right?"

"You could say that."

"Do you get along with them?"

"Well enough. They're not bad people. I want Adrianna to have family in her life. Well, normal family, whatever that is. That's something that's very important to me."

"I get it," Monica said because she did. "What about your parents? Did either of them visit you and their granddaughter when you lost your wife and Adrianna lost her mother?"

"My mom came to visit because she just happened to be on a book tour. Lucky me, right? You know I am not in contact with my father."

"Even with something so traumatic going on?"

"I doubt Adrianna remembers much about my mom and that's fine with me. I have no way of explaining my father to her nor do I want to. At least not now."

"I understand. I just feel so bad that, except for Joey, we weren't of any help to you."

"Well, I hadn't exactly endeared myself to the group, right? I was the one who left you guys. I didn't expect any of you to rescue me. I was very grateful that Joey wanted to, but I would've understood if he hadn't contacted me. We'd all moved on."

"When Joey told us Stephanie had died, I thought about you trying to cope and trying to keep it together for your daughter. I know it must have been horrible. I thought about coming to see you way before now, I did, but…"

"You were still with Richard."

Monica sighed. "Yeah, I was. Not that things were so great between us, but we were still together. I doubt it would have gone well if I'd come to visit you."

"I get that. But you're here now. Isn't that what really matters?"

He held out his arms and Monica gladly stepped into his inviting embrace.

"Yes," she said and smiled, thinking how right it felt to be in his arms.

Chandler massaged her back and drew her closer. Monica sighed contentedly and let herself relax in his strong embrace. When he would have tilted her head to ask her if she wanted to continue what had begun in her apartment, his daughter's voice calling for him ended their private moment.

"She's waiting for you," Monica said, reluctant to leave the warmth of his body.

"I know. I'll be right back."

When he returned after saying goodnight to Adrianna, he found Monica unpacking.

"I saw the hangers in the closet so I thought I'd unpack. I also realized I have my own bathroom. This place is incredible."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, taking her hands in his after tossing the blouse she had been holding onto the bed. "Now, where were we?"

Monica smiled a bit coyly, but she pulled her hands away.

"I…I really should hang up my clothes and finish unpacking. You don't mind, do you? It's rather late, and I'm still on East Coast time."

Chandler nodded, trying not to let his disappointment show. "Sure. No problem."

"I just…it's just…hearing Adrianna's voice brought me back to reality. We're not alone, and you have a major responsibility. So much is different. You're so different. Now that I'm in your house, I can see how much has changed. I admit I'm amazed at how your life is turning out."

"It is quite different than how I ever thought it would be. Adrianna keeps me going, that's for sure."

"She looked a little fearful of you tonight, but I can't imagine you have to use that tone with her often."

"I don't want her to ever be afraid of me. Having said that, I was not happy with her earlier, and I told her that when we said goodnight. She knows she needs to listen to me. I try to be as lenient as I can, but I won't have her disrespecting anyone, especially not an adult. She knows I won't tolerate bad behavior towards anyone who has been nothing but nice and kind to her. She tests me, but she also knows that when I use that tone of voice or call her by her full name, she better stop what she's doing and look at me."

Monica shivered. "You just scared me a little."

She realized she would want a father like him for her children. She'd want her kids to know they were loved and cared for but that they couldn't do whatever they wanted without there being consequences. She'd never pictured Chandler in the role of strict disciplinarian, but she'd witnessed it first hand, and it had excited her.

"You keep surprising me," she said.

"In a good way?" he countered.

"Oh, most definitely."

That made Chandler very happy.

"Let me help with your bags," he said.

When he plopped her tote onto the bed and would have unzipped it, she stopped him.

"We can leave that as it is."

"Why? What is it?"

"I packed my medical records. Remember you told me to get them from my doctor? Well, there they are."

"It's quite heavy, Mon. I didn't think you would have this much."

She shrugged. "I've had all kinds of tests and treatments. The evidence is right there."

"I'm going to call my doctor first thing tomorrow to see if he can recommend someone for you."

"Thank you for doing this for me. I've felt like I've been battling this all on my own, even though I haven't. It's just nice to have someone in my corner who isn't judging me and only wants to help."

"Who would be judging you?" he asked, puzzled. "You had an accident. It's not like you intentionally hurt your back."

"No, of course not."

Damn. She had let her guard down and almost messed up by referring to the drugs. She'd have to be more careful. She planned to wean herself off the pills while she was with Chandler, but she knew she had broken her promise to Joey. She hadn't given him the bottle. She'd packed it with her things. And she had just gotten a refill, which no one knew anything about. She wanted to keep it that way.

"It's just that the pain has been lingering for so long. I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes I get the feeling that Phoebe and maybe even Rachel and Ross think I might be milking my injury."

"Why?" he asked, surprised she would say such a thing.

She shrugged. "Who knows? For sympathy? It doesn't really matter because now I have you to help me. And I couldn't be more grateful."

They worked in companionable silence to get Monica settled.

"There," Chandler said when everything had been put away. "I know it makes you happy not to see clutter."

She smiled. "Some things will never change."

He returned her smile. "I kinda like that. I'm going to leave so you can go to sleep; but if you need anything, I'm right down the hall."

"Goodnight, Chandler."

"Night, Monica. I hope you sleep well."

He'd taken a few steps towards the door when her voice, as soft as a kitten's purr, stopped him.

"I need something."

His heart lurched at the almost pleading tone he heard in her request. He turned around and saw the unmistakable want and desire in her gorgeous sapphire eyes.

"I didn't even make it out of the room," he quipped, trying not to focus on how absolutely beautiful she looked, "but okay."

"I need you to kiss me. Now."

Chandler remained rooted to the spot. Monica, the woman he had dreamed about for so long, had just asked him to kiss her. He'd thought about this moment countless times. He'd wanted her to want him, to need him the way he'd wanted and needed her, probably for as long as he'd known her if he were honest with himself. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't wanted her. But once he'd left Manhattan, he never let himself think about being with her. Well, hardly ever. It hurt too much, especially given the bad choices he'd made when he _had_ let himself think about her. And yet, here she was. Standing in his guest room, looking at him with such unmasked passion, it made him ache. For her. For what could have been and maybe for what still could be.

_So, what are you waiting for? She's right there. And she wants you!_

Trying hard not to think, he quickly closed the space between them and began threading his fingers through the long silky strands of her dark hair. When she moved in closer, he guided the palms of his hands to frame her lovely face, while the pads of his fingers stroked her smooth skin. His lips found hers in what could only be described as a tender but arousing first kiss that neither one wanted to end.

"Chandler," she whispered and sighed.

His soft lips pressed against hers ignited a fire inside her. She knew how much he cared for her, and now she got to experience his gentleness through his kiss. Chandler's kiss. The one that had only recently begun to occupy her thoughts but one that she knew she wanted. And she hadn't wanted much these past few months.

"That was…wonderful."

She reached for his left hand and rubbed it gently across her cheek.

"I feel so close to you," she said, trailing kisses along the back of his hand. "And this feels so right."

Chandler swallowed hard before he spoke. "I feel the same way."

"You are an incredible kisser," Monica said, gazing into his clear blue eyes. "Kiss me again."

So not ready to let him go, she parted her lips and then tugged on the back of his hair as he captured her mouth in a kiss that was more urgent and intense than the first. She arched to let him know just how much she wanted him. Needed him. When their tongues met and teased, her insides melted. She'd thought maybe she'd never feel this kind of excitement and longing again. How glad she was she had been wrong.

When the kiss ended, Monica sighed with contentment and laid her head against Chandler's heaving chest, thinking about what had just happened.

"Again, Chandler Bing," she said when her breathing had returned to normal, "you absolutely amaze me."

"And again, Monica Geller," he returned, his voice light from the essence of feeling pure pleasure, "I'll take that as a compliment."

With her arms wrapped securely around him, she looked up and smiled.

"I'm so happy I'm here.'

She had honestly come to believe she would never be happy again. And now, thanks to Chandler and the way he had been taking care of her, she had hope that maybe, just maybe, she would have a second chance at finding true love.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Hi! Thank you so much for your reviews and follows! Thanks for taking the time to read!

I did some research on the Internet for this chapter so, hopefully, it makes sense.

* * *

Chapter 9

"Well, that was interesting," Monica said as she tossed her purse onto the sofa in the living room and took a seat next to it.

Chandler removed his jacket and joined her.

"What did you think? It sounded straightforward to me. I'm surprised your doctor never mentioned it as a possibility."

Guilt crossed Monica's face.

"What?" Chandler asked. "What is it?"

"My doctor did mention the cortisone treatment. I dismissed it."

"Why? Why would you do that when it has the best chance for success?"

Monica stood and turned away from Chandler. She wanted to be honest with him. She just didn't know how honest she was prepared to be.

"I just…I didn't want to go through that type of treatment alone. It seemed really intense."

Chandler rose to stand in front of her. He reached for her hands and held them in his. He saw how rigid her body was and encouraged her to take a deep breath and relax.

"I don't understand," he said. "How would you _ever_ be alone?"

"Everyone is so busy. I didn't feel right about involving them. It's not just a one-time treatment."

"I know. But I can't believe your brother, Rachel, Phoebe, and especially Joey wouldn't have stepped up if you'd asked them."

"Maybe they would have," she admitted. "But I didn't feel like I could impose."

Chandler shook his head at what he perceived to be her lack of faith in her family and friends, but he didn't want to upset her more, so he cupped her chin and made sure she was focused on him and the words he was about to speak.

"I want you to know you can impose on me. Any time."

"Chandler, I…"

Her response was interrupted by the ringing of her cell. She reached for her purse to retrieve her phone and saw that it was Joey.

"Hey, Joey. What's up?"

"I wanted to see how you're doing. I also wanted to say thanks for breaking your promise."

Monica gripped her phone tighter when she heard his aggravated tone.

"Sorry, Chandler," she whispered. 'I need to take this in my room."

"Sure," he said, trying to quell his curiosity.

"I'm sorry, Joey," she said, once she was safely behind the closed door. "I know I said I would give you my pills…"

"And you didn't," he countered.

"I know."

"Have you taken any since you've been there or have you been miraculously cured?"

"Wow, you are in some mood. Why don't you call me when you can be civil?"

"All right, all right," he said, trying to rein in his anger. "I'm worried about you, okay? But I'm mad at you, too."

Monica allowed herself a small smile. "I get it. I'm doing okay but, yes, I have taken a few of the pills. Just because the flight was so damn long."

"It's always going to be something, Mon. Why don't you just tell Chandler what's really going on?"

"I want to, but we saw the doctor today. He recommended the same treatment my doctor did."

"The cortisone shots?"

"Yes. I think I can do them now, Joe. Chandler will be with me. It's not like I have to keep asking you guys to help me. See, I told you this would be a good place for me."

"Okay, Mon, but wait a minute. Isn't this the same treatment where you can't take your pain medication for a few days before you get the shot?"

"Yeah, so?"

Joey wanted to scream. "How are you gonna do that?"

"With Chandler's help."

"So you're going to tell him?"

Monica hedged. Joey wanted to scream. Again.

"Don't do this to yourself," he pleaded. "Don't do this to Chandler. And Adrianna. Think about her. She's not going to understand your mood swings and, Mon, we both know they're gonna be mood swings. Chandler will want to help. Just tell him the truth. Please."

"I'll think about it," was all she would commit to.

"Fine," Joey said, his anger present once more. "You _think_ about it."

Monica didn't like the way the conversation ended, but it was the best she could do. For now.

When she returned to the living room, Chandler had his laptop open and was reading the documents the doctor had given them. He looked up when she approached.

"How's Joey?"

"He's good. He's fine. He just had a couple of apartment questions he needed to ask me. He said he's gonna call you later when Adrianna is here. Did you want to pick her up from your neighbor's?"

"I talked to Diane. The kids are fine. I'll let her stay a little longer. I want to talk to you about your treatment."

"Okay."

He patted the space next to him on the sofa; Monica sat down.

"I read through some of what the doctor gave us, and I checked out a couple of things online. The procedure seems like it's very effective but, of course, there are always risks and possible side effects."

Monica nodded. "I remember reading about those."

"Did any of it freak you out?"

"Not really."

"Good. There's one other item I read in the handouts."

"What's that?"

"You can't take any of your pain medication for three to five days before the treatment. I've seen how uncomfortable you are. Are you going to be able to manage your pain during that time?"

"If I decide to do this, I'll have to, won't I?"

"I want you to think about this, Monica. Once you make an appointment, that's it until after it's over. Whatever pain you're in, you'll have to endure it. I'll help you do whatever we can to minimize it, and I'll explain to Adrianna that she might see you trying to tolerate your pain, but if you take a pill, then the process has to start all over again."

"I know," she said, shifting uncomfortably on the cushion.

"I want you to feel better," he said sincerely. "But this is serious."

First Joey, now Chandler. An uneasiness she hadn't felt in a while took root in the pit of her stomach. Could she truly give up her pain medication in order to get better? Telling Chandler now about how she needed her pills to get through the day would only set her back. Right? She wanted to move forward. She wanted to say yes to the treatment and then be strong enough to get through whatever she needed to without her medication. This was the only way. Wasn't it?

"Monica, what's wrong?"

Chandler noticed her consternation and that she seemed miles away.

"Nothing," she said, rising from the couch.

He quickly joined her.

"Let's do this. Let's call right now for an appointment."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes. C'mon, we're wasting time. Get on that phone."

"Okay," he said, still looking at her and trying to figure out how much was real and how much was false bravado. "I'm punching in the numbers."

"Good."

She heard him speaking on her behalf, and she wanted to hold him and never let him go. Hearing him making the arrangements for her made her realize just how fortunate she was. She wasn't sure how things like this were supposed to work, but she couldn't believe he had come back into her life at the precise moment she needed someone. Like him. So desperately. He would help her. Of that she had no doubt.

When he finished the call, she looked at him expectantly.

'Since you were injured on the job, they have to get approval from the restaurant's workers' compensation insurance, but they gave you an appointment in three days. Can you do this?"

"Yes. Yes, I can."

"That's my girl," he said, drawing her into his arms. "I know you can do this."

"It'll be wonderful to get relief from my pain," she said, even as her anxiety rose at the thought of what she was going to have to do in order to achieve that goal.

Chandler pulled back a little so he could look at her.

"We'll do everything the papers and computer recommend for the next three days. But the first thing we need to do is put your pills somewhere out of reach of you and Adrianna. I want to put them where she will not have access to them. At all."

And I won't either, Monica suddenly realized. Chandler felt her tense in his arms.

"Are you all right?"

She nodded. 'I guess I just realized this is happening. I'll be right back with the pills."

When she reached her room, she opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the bottle. She stared at it for the longest time, wondering whether she could truly make it three days without swallowing a pill. What would happen? She knew Chandler would help her. She trusted him. She didn't trust herself. She knew her threshold for pain had diminished greatly because for the past couple of months, she never let herself feel the full extent of her injury. The minute she felt the slightest discomfort, she popped a pill. What if she truly couldn't stand the pain? And what about the other emotions she knew the pills were masking. She would have to feel her anger, her sadness, maybe even the resentment and depression she'd been shielding herself from if she couldn't take a few pills and let sleep come, disturbing, at times, as it was. Maybe she should keep a few hidden in her room? Just in case?

She looked at the bottle in disgust. How had she let these stupid little white things control her this way and for so long? She needed this. She needed to get out of the fog she'd been in. So the pain would be more intense and wouldn't go away as quickly. She'd felt it before, and she'd dealt with it. Physically and emotionally. She could do this. She _had_ to do this. She had something to prove to herself. She had a reason to get better. She had something to look forward to. She had someone completely in her corner. On her side. Fighting for her instead of against her. And he had a little girl she knew she could help if she could only get past her own pain.

The man she was thinking about walked into the room and sidled up to her from behind. He wrapped his arms around the front of her and kissed the nape of her neck. She smiled at the immediate comfort she experienced.

"I was getting worried. Are you really okay with this?"

"Yes," she said, using the back of her hand to brush away the tears that threatened. "I am."

She turned so she was facing him. He saw that her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"I thought about cheating," she admitted, shaking her head. "I thought about keeping some of the pills, but I don't want to do that, Chandler. I want to be able to get well. Here. Take this bottle and hide it. Hide it where no one will ever find it. I don't need these stupid pills!"

"Monica, sshh, it's okay. It's okay."

"No, it's not," she said, her voice filled with emotion. This was the closest she had come to admitting anything to him. "But it's going to be. I know it is."

Chandler held a visibly shaking Monica closer to him.

"I know it is, too," he said. "We're going to get you well, sweetheart. So you can have your life back."

Her heart melted a little more as she heard his endearment for her.

"Every time you hold me, I feel more secure," she said. "I feel as though I can work my way through anything."

"That's because you can. The Monica I know would never let a few pain pills stop her from getting the help she needed. I know if it were me in this position, you would have swatted the bottle out of my hands and then been there with me the rest of the way. That's what I'm going to do for you."

"I may not be the nicest person for the next three days," she warned.

Chandler recalled the words Joey had used to describe Monica when she was in pain. Cranky and bitchy came to mind. But Chandler wouldn't let himself dwell on that. He wanted to focus on helping Monica feel better.

"I can live with that," he said. "But maybe we should talk to Adrianna together so she understands just how serious this is. I don't want her to be scared, and I don't want you to withdraw from us if you start to feel bad. We can help you. Okay?"

"I think that's a good idea."

"I'll go get her from Diane's, and then we can talk after we eat dinner. Why don't you get some rest until then?"

"I can start getting dinner ready. I'll look around that wonderful kitchen to see what I can whip up."

"Are you sure you feel up to it?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You go get your daughter. I'll take care of dinner."

With the sun beginning to set and the air growing cooler, Chandler walked across the lawn to his neighbor's house, feeling a sense of déjà vu. This is what his life had been morphing into right before Stephanie died. She'd loved cooking in her kitchen, Adrianna had a playmate right next door, and Chandler had finally been able to enjoy the fruits of what he had come to know as normal family life. Dare he dream it could happen a second time? And with Monica? The woman who had seemed so unattainable to him just a few weeks ago?

In the kitchen, Monica found an assortment of ingredients she could use to make a serviceable meal. In the middle of peeling a few potatoes, her phone rang. She answered it and heard Rachel's voice.

"Hey, Mon. We were talking about you at dinner and decided to see how you're doing. How are things going?"

"Things are fine," she said. "I should take a picture of this kitchen I'm standing in and send it to you. You would not believe it. I could live in it."

"I remember Joey said the house was very nice."

"It is. I really like it here, Rach."

"We're happy for you. Things okay with you and Adrianna?"

"So far. I think she's warming up to me. A little. I just have to be patient."

"And Chandler?"

She sighed and found herself smiling. "What can I say, Rach? He's been nothing but wonderful and kind to me. Sometimes, I think I need to pinch myself to be sure this is real. Why did I never notice any of his amazing personality traits when we lived next door to each other? I still can't figure out how I could have been so blind."

"You guys were friends. You had your own relationships. You thought you had met Mr. Right. It's not that hard to understand, Mon."

She tried to process her friend's words, but her mind kept returning to the fact she had been oblivious to most of Chandler's finer qualities.

"I know you and Ross were concerned that I was going to use Chandler and Adrianna for my own purposes."

"I wouldn't say 'use'," Rachel defended. "We were concerned about you and where you were with your life. It did seem a little convenient, you have to admit."

"Maybe in the beginning," Monica said, "but not now, Rach."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Please don't say anything to anyone. Promise me?"

"Sure, yes, I promise. What is it?"

"This has nothing to do with being a 'cozy family,' Rach, but I think I'm falling in love with one Chandler Bing. And I couldn't _be_ happier."


	10. Chapter 10

Hi! Thank you sooo much for your wonderful reviews, follows, and favorites! I appreciate every one of them very much! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter!

* * *

Chapter 10

"What did you say?" Rachel said, trying not to raise her voice so Ross wouldn't become suspicious of her conversation.

"I said I think I'm falling in love with Chandler," Monica repeated.

Rachel laughed as if her friend were joking. "You meant to say you're developing feelings for him which, I guess, is understandable. You're 'in like' with him. You can't be in love."

"Why not?"

"Because it's crazy! You've only been there a day. Isn't this happening waayyy too fast?"

"We spent time together in New York, don't forget. Rachel, if you could see how he's so concerned about me. I haven't felt this safe; this cared for in a long time.'

"Go slow, Mon," Rachel urged. "I don't want you to get hurt again. Be careful."

"I will. I don't want my heart broken again either. I gotta go. He's here with Adrianna."

Monica greeted them and said dinner was almost ready. Chandler helped Adrianna get ready to eat. She felt strange sitting at the kitchen table with her father and Monica.

"Isn't this nice?" Chandler said, trying to ease her into a familiar dinner setting he knew wasn't familiar at all. "Monica cooked for us."

Adrianna nodded and watched as her father cut a few pieces of the hamburger patty on her plate. He added a spoonful of mashed potatoes and a few carrots. Monica set a plastic cup of milk next to her plate.

"I hope you like it," she said, as she and Chandler took their seats.

After Adrianna said she liked the food, the trio tried to have a normal meal.

"We have pudding for dessert," Monica said.

"Chocolate?" the young girl asked, her eyes lighting up.

Monica smiled. "Is there any other kind?"

Chandler laughed. "Not as far as my daughter is concerned."

"Daddy!" Adrianna said and shook her head.

"What?" he asked, his blue eyes teasing. "I'm speaking only the truth."

"I like vanilla, too," she said, directing her comment to Monica.

"Only when there's no chocolate," he added. "Just ask Joey."

Monica laughed. "Let me guess. Joey wanted the last of the vanilla pudding?"

"Oh, yeah," Chandler said and winked. "But he soon realized he had competition with my daughter."

"We shared," Adrianna said and then giggled as she remembered fighting good-naturedly with her uncle who let her win.

"Only because I did not want to be _wearing_ the dessert," Chandler said.

"I wish I could have seen that," Monica said, her voice a bit wistful.

"Oh, I'm sure there will be more food fights in their future that I will have to referee."

The way he spoke so casually made Monica think she would be around for those occasions. She knew she would enjoy every moment if she were.

After dinner ended, the conversation turned serious.

"I would like us to go into the family room," Chandler said. "Adrianna, Monica and I have something we need to tell you."

She heard the somber tone and saw how serious they looked. She started to feel uneasy again like when Emma had said she should call Monica her aunt.

"Daddy," she said because she had to know. "Are you and Monica getting married?"

* * *

"How's my sister?" Ross asked his wife once she had joined him in their bedroom.

"She seems okay," Rachel replied, clearly distracted.

She sat on the quilt comforter at the end of the bed; Ross scooted down behind her and began massaging her shoulders as he spoke near her ear.

"Wanna tell me what's really going on?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Your best friend is 3,000 miles away, with my former college roommate and his daughter, and you want to know everything that's going on, don't you?"

"Nooo," Rachel said, irritated, at that moment, that her husband knew her so well. "I just want her to be okay."

"We all want that," Ross said and then turned his wife's head and captured her soft, pliant lips in an all-consuming kiss that left any thoughts of Monica far, far behind.

"I love you, Mr. Geller," she said, after he had satisfied her every wanton need.

"And I love you, Mrs. Geller," he returned, still basking in her radiant beauty.

As they lay in each other arms ready to drift off into sleep, Rachel let her thoughts return to her earlier conversation with Monica. She began to think about what would happen if she and Chandler did end up together. Watching her husband as he slept, she had to wonder just how okay with it he would be.

* * *

In the family room, after he had started a fire in the hearth, Chandler sat Adrianna between them on the cream-colored sofa so they could both talk to and reassure her.

"Adrianna, I know you've been anxious about Monica and me, but, honey, we are not getting married."

"That's not what this is about," Monica added.

"Okay," she said and nodded.

"We told you that Monica had a doctor's appointment. That's what we want to talk with you about."

She looked at Monica. "Are you sick?"

The dark-haired beauty shrugged. "Sort of."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't want you to be sick."

"Monica is in pain," Chandler explained. "Her back hurts. A lot."

"That's why I had to walk with you."

"Yes," Monica said. "The plane ride caused me more discomfort."

"We found out there's something we hope will help Monica, but in order for her to have it, she can't take her medicine for three days before the procedure."

"What medicine?"

"The medicine that helps me not hurt so much."

Just thinking about not having her pills made her antsy.

"So you'll be in pain?"

Monica nodded.

"Why?"

"Good question," Monica said. "I'm wondering about that myself."

"I know this will be hard for you to understand, Adrianna, but it has something to do with the types of medicines that are in Monica's system."

"Oh."

"Things might get very hard for her. If she's in pain, she probably won't be happy, right?"

"Right."

'So we have to help Monica. We have to let her know that we'll do whatever she needs and that we are here for her. She needs to know that we'll take care of her and that we'll help her through this so she can get better."

"Like Uncle Joey helped us," Adrianna said, her voice soft.

She remembered how much she had depended on him to help her when she was scared and how great he was to let her cry whenever she needed to. She loved her father and her uncle so much. She wanted to help him and Monica now.

"That's right. Can you do that?" he asked, brushing the curls away from his daughter's face. "Will you help Monica the way Uncle Joey helped us?"

"Yes," she said, turning to give Monica a hug. She knew that's what Joey would do for her. He would hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right. "I'll help you. I don't want you to be in pain."

"You are so sweet," Monica said, returning the little girl's hug. "Thank you so much. I'm going to try to tolerate the pain as best I can. I don't want to cause any trouble for you or your dad."

"We may need to take things minute by minute," Chandler said. "But we will get you through this. Right, Adrianna?"

"Right," she agreed.

The phone rang, and she scrambled to answer it.

"I knew it was gonna be you!" she said and laughed, thrilled to hear her uncle's voice.

"Joey," Chandler and Monica said at the same time and then shared a laugh of their own.

* * *

"I enjoy watching the two of you so much," Monica said to Chandler when he returned to the family room after getting Adrianna ready for bed and thanking her for agreeing to help Monica. She watched him as he stoked the fire. "I couldn't imagine missing out on this. She adores you."

"When she's not being feisty," he said, taking a seat next to her. "She gets that from her mother, of course."

"Of course," Monica said and laughed at Chandler's cheeky grin.

"We have our moments. Like I told you, she tests me, but I wouldn't want to live in a world without her. She's given me a lot of joy."

"And you've given her the same. You can tell by how loving she is."

"I'm glad she's more accepting of you. I'm sorry about that whole marriage thing. I'm not sure where that came from to be honest."

Maybe she's seeing or sensing something between us, Monica wanted to say, but thought better of it and didn't say anything.

"It's okay. I think she's still unsure about a lot of things. I know I would be. You're her one constant. She needs to know that you will always be there for her. I get that."

"That's just one of the many reasons why you are going to make a fantastic mom one day."

Monica squirmed and then frowned. "Could we not talk about that, please?"

"Of course. I'm sorry," he said, gently stroking her hair. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," she clarified. "I'm just not in a very 'maternal' place right now."

"Are you doing okay?" he asked. "You haven't said much about how you're feeling and about this whole procedure. If you want to talk, I'm here."

"See, you're sweet just like your daughter. I'm okay. I just have to remind myself that I'm going to get better."

A sudden, sobering thought entered her mind.

"You can be with me when I have the procedure, right?"

"I think so, but we'd better confirm."

"You're damn right we need to confirm. I am not going through this alone. You have to be with me. That's the only reason I agreed to this."

Chandler saw a flash of fear in Monica's azure eyes, and he quickly moved to console her.

"It's okay. I'll call tomorrow. I'm sure they'll let me be with you. Don't freak out about this, okay, Mon?"

"I'm trying not to," she said.

She pulled him closer as she realized a long, probably fitful, if not outright sleepless night, lay ahead. It was the time she had come to dread the most. No one was around. There wasn't much to do but try to go to sleep and try not to think about life. She hadn't been doing so well in that department until she figured out she could take her pills and have the world slip away. At least for a few hours if she were lucky. Tonight she wouldn't have that. What if she really couldn't sleep? What if her demons kept her awake all night? What if she couldn't stand the pain?

Chandler felt her tense in his arms. She gripped his shirt so tightly from the back; he thought she was going to choke him.

"Monica, relax," Chandler said, running gentle hands along her spine.

He planted a soft kiss on her temple to try to calm her, and it quickly turned into a passionate interlude in front of the roaring fire. It ended with Monica lying on the sofa, her head resting on Chandler's chest.

"What if we stayed like this all night?" she asked, looking up at him with doleful eyes.

"I think you and your back would be more comfortable in a bed."

"Not necessarily. I feel fine."

"Right now. I doubt you'll feel as good in the morning. C'mon. You get ready to go to sleep while I make sure the fire is out."

"Do I have to move?" she complained.

"You'll thank me in the morning," he said and kissed her again to let her know he had her best interests in mind.

"Okay. I guess you know best."

"Trust me. Regarding this, I do."

She reluctantly rose from the couch, knowing he was right. She should have the support of her comfortable bed.

"Come by when you're done?" she offered, her voice tentative.

He smiled. "I will."

A little while later, Chandler knocked on Monica's slightly open door and then entered. He found her dressed in a lavender peignoir, sitting on the padded window seat with the curtain pulled slightly back and staring at the moonless night. His breath caught at the sight of her.

_Could she **be** any more beautiful? How is it that she is not married and raising a family of her own? And that she's available to be with me? At least as a good friend once again._

Her welcoming voice cut into his thoughts.

"I was just thinking about you," she said, rising from her seat. "In case you don't know, I appreciate everything you and Adrianna are doing for me. What a difference it is to be here instead of my apartment, all by myself, worrying and fretting about every little thing."

"You shouldn't have had to do that," he gently chided. "You shouldn't be alone."

"Thanks to you and your daughter, I'm not."

He looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

"I have to tell you I know how you feel. Even though I had Adrianna, the first few weeks after Stephanie died, I felt very alone. Terrified alone. I felt like nothing would ever be the same again, and I didn't know who to reach out to. I have to be honest. I wasn't a very good father to my daughter that first month or so. I was so wrapped up in my grief; I was barely able to meet her most basic needs."

"That's totally understandable."

"Maybe," he acknowledged. "But I felt horrible when I realized how much I was hurting her. I witnessed just how confused and sad she was when she found me here, in this room, one morning. On the weekends, since she could walk, she had made it a practice to come running into our bedroom and wake us up, if we weren't already awake. That particular morning, she ran into the bedroom only to find the bed made and no one there. Then, she found me here. For a good while, Monica, I could not go into that bedroom. So I would just end up in here or on one of the sofas. When Adrianna found me that first morning, she knew. She told me. She said she knew her mother was never coming back. It broke my heart, but she actually spoke the words before I could."

"Maybe, in some way, she was trying to comfort you."

Chandler gave her a faint smile. "I think you're right. I think she was."

"Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps to know I'm not the only one who's facing something alone. You're getting through yours. I know I'll get through mine, too."

Monica sat down because her back had started to ache. Chandler noticed.

"You need to sleep."

"I hope I can," she said, her voice revealing her doubt.

"Is this when you would normally take a pill? To help you sleep?"

She nodded. No need to tell him she took them at various other times, too.

"I am in no hurry to go to my room."

_Alone._

"Let me check on Adrianna, and then I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

"You would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'll be right back."

When Chandler returned, Monica had gotten as comfortable as she could under the covers.

"Do you need a heating pad or something? I should've asked you, and I forgot. Sorry."

"No, I'm fine. Hopefully, I'll close my eyes and drift off to sleep without any problems."

"I hope you do," he said.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she saw him walking away.

"I'm going to the closet," he said, opening the door. "I keep a blanket and pillow on the shelf. I'm going to make myself comfortable in that corner easy chair and prop up my feet on the ottoman."

"Chandler," Monica said, her voice catching at the kindness he was showing her, "you don't have to stay with me all night."

"I want to," he said. "I know this might be a tough night for you. I want to be here in case you need something. And I want you to promise me you will tell me if you do."

She smiled and shook her head in wonder. "I will. I promise. Thank you. So much."

"No problem," he said and gave her a winsome smile that caused her heart to flutter.

_Oh, yes, Rachel, despite your protests, it is very possible and probable that I am falling in love with this wonderful man._


	11. Chapter 11

Hi! Thanks again for all of your great reviews, follows and favorites. I appreciate all of them very, very much! Here is the latest chapter. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Chapter 11

Early the next morning, Chandler heard a loud groan and sat up in the chair.

"Monica?"

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Not really. I'm trying to sit up."

He crossed to stand next to her.

"Let me help."

He pulled back the blankets and reached for her hands to see if she could swing her legs in front of the bed.

"I can't," she said, taking a deep but shaky breath. "My back is too stiff."

"Let me get the heating pad. Maybe the warmth will loosen your muscles."

She nodded and sank back onto the mattress.

_How am I going to do this? I can barely move._

Chandler returned with a warm pad that he placed against her nightgown across the small of her back.

"Is that where it hurts the most?"

She nodded as the heat soothed. She tried to follow Chandler's advice to relax and let the warmth penetrate her sore muscles, but anxiety gripped her. She wanted to get up so she could make sure she could still walk. A heaviness enveloped her legs to the point where she didn't think she could move them. She felt as though she were losing control.

"I need to sit up. I have to move around."

"Give it a few more minutes," he encouraged. "I'm sure you'll be able to move."

"How can you be sure?" she snapped. "I'm the one who's trying to sit up. You're walking fine."

She knew he didn't deserve that, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be standing. She wanted to know she could walk. When he didn't respond, she tried to get out of bed by herself but only succeeded in emitting a few more winces and moans as her back retaliated against her desire to stretch and move.

"What am I going to do?" she said. "I have to get out of this bed."

"You're not giving your back a chance. Just lie still for a few more minutes. Please?"

Monica nodded and willed herself to relax and let the heat course through her spine. Thanks to the pills, she rarely felt this amount of pain upon waking in the morning. Not being able to turn in the bed freaked her out. But she would be okay. She just had to get mobile.

After a little time had elapsed, she asked him if maybe she could slide towards the edge of the bed and then he could help her stand. He purposely waited a few more agonizing minutes and then when she looked to him for help, he reluctantly removed the pad so she could gingerly try to scoot towards the edge of the mattress. With difficulty, she finally managed. Chandler carefully swung her legs so her feet touched the beige carpet.

"Ow!" she complained when she was finally sitting up. "Oh, man, my back hurts."

"Rest for a few more minutes before you try to stand," Chandler cautioned.

The last thing he needed was for her to fall.

"I need support for my back," she said, knowing she was not going to be able to do much walking. "Where can I sit?"

"The high back dining room chairs probably have the best support. We can put a pillow or two behind you if you think that would help."

"I need something. My back is killing me. Owww!"

After several unsuccessful maneuvers, Chandler finally managed to help Monica get moving. The achiness eased somewhat when the hot water spray from the shower hit her back in just the right spots.

After changing his clothes from the night before, he waited in her room while she got dressed slowly and carefully in the bathroom. When she emerged wearing black pants and a fuchsia top, she appeared to be in less pain.

"You look better," he offered.

"The hot water helped."

"I have a friend in the neighborhood who has a whirlpool. If hot water helps, I'm sure he'll let you use it."

"Thanks, but I don't think I can get in and out of it too easily. Let me try the chair, the pillows, and the heat."

They slowly wound their way to the dining room. Chandler made Monica as comfortable as he could.

"Do you want coffee? Something to eat?"

"Orange juice if you have it."

"I happen to have some. I need to go to the store later. Since we were going to be gone, I didn't keep much food in the house, but I can get whatever you need."

"Juice is fine," Monica said.

When he returned with the glass, Monica was sitting with her head bent forward, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm getting a pounding headache," she said.

She tried to drink the juice, but she could barely swallow. She pushed the glass away and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes.

_Maybe if I go back to sleep, I'll wake up from this nightmare and feel better._

"I can try massaging your shoulders," Chandler suggested. "Maybe that would relieve some of the tension causing your headache."

"Don't touch me!" she exclaimed, causing him to jump. "Everything hurts!"

"Maybe we should try to lay you down again. You might have an easier time on the couch in the family room. It should give you support, and you won't have to move as much. Maybe that would work better than the bed."

"Just let me sit with my head tilted back and my eyes closed. Okay? I'm fine."

"Okay," Chandler said, backing away. "I'm going to check on Adrianna. Call me if you need anything. I'll hear you."

He left when Monica didn't respond.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he said when he entered his daughter's room and found her sitting up in bed.

She was holding Timmy, her favorite teddy bear her grandparents had given her when she was born. He was the one she told all her secrets to.

"It's early," she said.

"I know," he said, sitting on the edge of her mattress. "Did we wake you?"

"Sorta."

"Sorry. Monica's having a rough morning. She's in a lot of pain."

"Can I help?"

"Probably the best thing we can do is not bother her. Are you ready to get up? We have cereal, but I need to grocery shop later. Even though I told her we were going to be gone, I'm going to see if Nancy is available to stay with you."

"What about Monica?"

"I think she'll be resting. You'll have more fun with Nancy."

"I'll go with you, Daddy. Please?"

"We'll see. It might be good to have another adult here. C'mon. Let's get this day started."

Now wearing her favorite light blue dress with pockets in the front, Adrianna was surprised when her father escorted her to the dining room table. She never sat in that room. She didn't feel comfortable; and when Monica, who still had her eyes closed, didn't speak to her, she felt sad. She climbed off the chair and ran to her father who was in the kitchen.

"I don't like it there," she said, pointing to the dining room. 'I eat here."

"But Monica's in there. We don't want to be rude."

"I said 'hi.' She didn't talk. I wanna eat here."

"Today we're having breakfast in that room," he told her.

"But I don't…"

"Adrianna, go back to the dining room, sit down and wait for your breakfast, which I am trying to finish," he said, realizing he had raised his voice, but not caring at the moment.

"I don't wanna eat there and you can't make me," she said and ran into her room.

"What a great morning this is turning out to be," Chandler said to no one in particular.

He checked on Monica, who seemed to be sleeping or at least resting, and then he went in search of his daughter. He found her sitting in the rocking chair he and Stephanie had used when Adrianna was younger, her small arms folded against her middle. He crouched down in front of her and placed his hands on the arms of the chair to steady it.

"What is this about?" he asked. "You were fine earlier."

"You yelled at me, but I wasn't being bad," she said. "We always eat in the kitchen."

"You mean you and your mom always ate in there," he clarified.

"And you. When you were here."

"I didn't realize you had such nice memories of eating in the kitchen."

"Mommy never let me sit in the dining room," she said, her voice low. "She said I would break something. I don't like that place."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think you would break anything. I thought it would be nice to eat in a different location. I wanted us to be where Monica was."

"She's changing our stuff. I don't like it."

"Honey," he said, brushing the hair away from her tear-filled blue eyes, "we've talked about this. So many things have already changed. I know you're too young to understand, but things are going to change. All the time. That's kinda what life is about."

"But not us, right? That's what you said, Daddy. You told me that. And it keeps changin'. I don't like it."

'Come here," he said, unfolding her arms so he could hold her as the tears spilled from her eyes. "I didn't realize you were feeling this way. Daddy is so sorry."

"I miss Mommy," she said and the tears fell harder.

"I know," he said as he tried to console her. "And I didn't mean to make things more difficult for you. I'm glad you told me about the kitchen and the dining room. I may not always think about those kinds of things, so you need to remind me. Okay?"

She nodded and sniffled and tried to wipe her eyes with her hands.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

He tried to put her down but she clung to him and wouldn't let go. His heart sank. She hadn't had a day like this in a long time. He mentally kicked himself for trying to change their routine. Most of the time he knew what worked to keep her on an even keel. Even when they had gone to New York, he had managed to keep her from feeling too scared and insecure. He'd totally blown it, and he knew he'd have to work extra hard to get things back on track.

He'd no sooner had her looking presentable than the doorbell rang. Not expecting any visitors, he opened the door, still holding a clingy Adrianna in his arms, and was surprised to see her grandparents, Lorraine and George Miles, standing on the porch.

"Hello. Wow. This is unexpected. Come in."

"Grandma! Grandpa!"

"Hello, my precious little one," Lorraine, a tall woman in her late fifties with perfectly coiffed short black hair, said. "You look like you've been crying. Chandler, has she been crying?"

"How do you do that?" he asked, biting back a sarcastic remark, and then nodded. "It's been an emotional morning."

"Come here, sweetheart," she said, holding out toned and tanned arms that displayed an expensive gold watch on one wrist and a sparkling diamond bracelet on the other to Adrianna who went willingly.

"I'm surprised to see you especially since you thought we were in New York."

"That's why we came, son," George, a handsome man who appeared to be in his early sixties with a full head of white wavy hair and clear blue eyes, said. "We ran into your neighbor at the coffee place. She told us you were home. We wanted to make sure everything was all right."

"Yes, dear," Lorraine said. "Why didn't you call? You know we always want to know how you and our beautiful granddaughter are."

"So you were in the area for no apparent reason?" Chandler asked, trying to understand how they had ended up at his house.

On this particular morning.

"I'm sure they have coffeehouses where you live," he added, trying his hardest not to be unkind.

The stately couple looked at each other and laughed. "Not for no apparent reason. We were going to make sure everything was okay with the house while you were away. We stopped to get something to drink and that's when we saw Diane. We know you have that security system, but still, it never hurts to look around. Imagine our surprise to learn you were home."

_Imagine my surprise to learn you were going to be here when I wasn't._

"It's been hectic since we got back. I was going to call you."

"Monica's here," Adrianna said.

"Monica? Who's Monica?" Lorraine asked.

"That would be me. Hello, I'm Monica Geller; a friend of Chandler's who's visiting from New York."

Monica heard the voices and once she realized who the guests were; she figured she'd better make her presence known. It took her a while to rise, without screaming, from the couch in the family room which she had decided to try when she realized Chandler had his hands full with Adrianna, but once she was on her feet, she shuffled to make it to the foyer to introduce herself.

"Oh, my," Lorraine said, before Chandler had a chance to make proper introductions.

Her hold on her granddaughter tightened as she drank in the sight of Monica.

"George, do you see what I see?"

"Yes," he said, his resonant voice a bit breathless. "It's as if we're looking at Stephanie."

"How can this be?"

"Why don't we all sit down?" Chandler said, motioning towards the living room. "I can explain. I think."

"I can't sit," Monica said. "It's too hard to get up."

"What's wrong?" George asked.

"Monica's having some issues with her back," Chandler explained. "That's part of the reason why she's here."

"If she's in that much pain," Lorraine said, "maybe she should be in the hospital."

"She doesn't need to be in the hospital. We've got a solution we're working on."

"If she needs your attention, maybe we should take Adrianna."

"You don't need to take _my_ daughter," Chandler said, emphasizing the possessive pronoun while quickly losing what little patience he had left. "She's perfectly fine with me."

"Adrianna," the older woman with the striking features said, "would you be a good girl and play in your room? Your grandfather and I want to talk to your father."

Adrianna left so the grown-ups could talk.

"No offense to you, Monica," Lorraine said, looking at her with calculating emerald eyes, "but this has to be quite unsettling for our granddaughter. Have you seen a picture of our beautiful daughter, who was taken from us way too soon, may she rest in peace? You could be twins."

"I've seen the resemblance," Monica said.

"Adrianna is used to how Monica looks," Chandler said. "And by the way, Monica, George and Lorraine Miles are Stephanie's parents. I would've introduced you sooner, but no one gave me a chance."

"I knew who they were," Monica said quietly.

Chandler nodded, clearly annoyed.

"Then why is Adrianna having a bad morning?" Lorraine asked, undaunted by her son-in-law's irritation.

"She has them every once in a while, okay? She's four years old. She lost her mother a year ago. Do I really have to explain this to you?"

"Don't take that tone with us, young man," George said. "You know damn well we understand everything. Maybe there are a few things you need to understand."

"Not today, okay?" he said, running his hands through his chestnut hair. "This isn't a good time. Adrianna hasn't eaten; I need to get to the store…"

"We will take Adrianna with us," Lorraine decreed. "We will make sure she eats, and we'll get the groceries. Tell us what you need."

Chandler sighed. "You don't have to do this. I can feed my child and buy the groceries."

"And take care of Monica?" George asked.

He noticed she seemed wobbly at best.

"Who I think should be sitting down," he added.

"I'm okay," Monica said, not convincing anyone. She leaned forward against the sofa for support. "I don't want to make things more difficult for Chandler. Or Adrianna."

"You're not," Chandler said. "Everything is fine."

"I wanna go with Grandma and Grandpa," Adrianna said, appearing in the entryway to the living room. "I'm hungry."

"Of course you are, my darling girl," Lorraine said. "Let's get you ready to go. We'll leave soon and have a nice breakfast."

"I'll get her ready," Chandler said, resigning himself to the fact his daughter did not want to be with him.

_Just great._

Adrianna raced to her room. Chandler rose from the recliner and headed for the same place. Monica's hand on his arm briefly stopped his progress.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, trying to avoid eye contact with George and Lorraine.

He nodded and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he entered Adrianna's room. He knew he had to be okay with her leaving for the day, but he would make damn sure Stephanie's parents knew his daughter would not be spending the night with them. Before they left _his_ house, they would understand that Adrianna would be home in time to have dinner with him. And Monica. On that point he would not make _any_ exceptions.


	12. Chapter 12

Hi! Thanks for your continued interest in this story and thanks for reading! :-)

* * *

Chapter 12

"That went well," Chandler said sardonically to Monica after Adrianna left with her grandparents.

They sat in the dining room; Monica had decided to try the chair again with the heating pad on her back.

"I think I freaked them out. I bet they thought they were seeing a ghost. You probably need to cut them some slack."

He considered Monica's words while he toyed with the salt shaker.

"Something isn't adding up. I'm not sure why they were here or why they planned to be here when they thought we were in New York. It doesn't make sense."

"You don't think they were coming to check on the house?"

"There was no need. They know I have an excellent security system. I think something else is going on."

"Like what?"

Chandler shook his head. "I don't know. They like to visit, but they usually respect my privacy. I take Adrianna to see them most of the time. It's just easier."

"You don't think they will keep Adrianna, do you? If I messed that up for you…"

"Don't spend one second worrying about that. You didn't mess up anything. If they had arrived even half an hour later, they might have seen a totally happy Adrianna, and they wouldn't have had a chance to whisk her out of here. They just happened to come when she was having a bad morning."

"Why was she so upset? Did I contribute to that? I think I had fallen asleep when she was sitting here."

"It was my fault. I didn't know Stephanie had put a restriction on her being in here. I guess it triggered some sort of bad memory, and she didn't want to eat at the table. My short fuse didn't help. I just wanted her to sit down."

He looked around at the porcelain figurines decorating the hutch and the two tables in the corners that held various expensive items.

"You know, I should pay more attention. There are a lot of breakable things in this room that I hadn't noticed, but I never thought of Adrianna as clumsy or that she would run into something and break it. I just thought it would have been nice to eat breakfast together. How crazy is that?"

Monica reached across the table to hold Chandler's hand.

"It's not crazy. It's actually very nice. I'm sorry I wasn't up for eating breakfast. I probably should have left the table, but this chair is comfortable. At least for a little while until I feel I have to move around."

"You never did eat anything," he reminded her. "I have some food I can prepare for you."

The thought of food made her stomach churn.

"I'm not really hungry."

"You should eat."

"Maybe later."

"I can make you tea."

That didn't sound good either.

"Thanks, but not now," she said. "My back is starting to stiffen. I'm going to walk around and then I'm going to try the sofa again with the heating pad."

"Let me help you."

She smiled but shook her head. "I'm sure you have things to do. I'm sorry I can't help, but I'll be fine. I'm going to the family room if that's okay."

"Of course. Turn on the TV if you want. Maybe you'll see Joey on 'Days of our Lives.' That might be fun. There are also books on the shelves. Stephanie read a lot. Again, I never paid much attention and I haven't done anything with them, but I know there's a variety of titles to choose from. There might even be some DVDs on the shelves. They might be for someone Adrianna's age, now that I think about it, but still, you're welcome to check them out."

"Thanks. If I can get comfortable, maybe I will try to read. It might help me fall asleep. I think I'll be okay if I don't see Joey on TV."

Chandler watched with concerned eyes as Monica padded down the hallway towards the family room. He heard a couple of winces and knew it was an effort for her to walk.

"Do you think we should get you a cane?" he asked before she disappeared from his view.

She carefully turned and then glared at him. "Don't you dare!"

"Okay. Gotcha. It was just a thought."

"Keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself, mister."

He smiled because even though she was laden with pain, her feistiness still managed to shine through.

"And don't forget to call the doctor's office to find out if you can be with me."

"I'm on it," he said and smiled again when he realized she sounded just like a wife.

* * *

"Hey, Pheebs, Mike," Joey said when he saw them enter Central Perk.

"Hey, Joey," Phoebe greeted.

"How are you?" Mike asked, as he and Phoebe shared a chair.

"I'm okay. Busy. You?"

Phoebe smiled as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "We're great! Are Ross and Rachel coming?"

"Ross said they'd be here."

"Oh, yay!"

From his position on the couch, Joey leaned closer to them and gave them a knowing smile.

"Something tells me you're gonna make an announcement."

"We are," Phoebe said, barely able to contain her glee. "I wish Monica was here."

"We said we'd call her later," Mike said.

"That's right. I keep forgetting it's three hours earlier there. Okay. That'll work."

'Is this something you're gonna tell Chandler, too?" Joey asked.

"Sure. Yes. Of course. Through Monica. Or maybe him directly. I need to talk to Rachel."

"I'm here," she said, as she and Ross made their way to the sofa. "What's up?"

Phoebe, her face practically glowing with happiness and excitement, looked at Mike, and then they linked hands as he nodded for her to make the announcement.

"We've decided on a wedding date. Valentine's Day. Yay!"

"Wow, congratulations," Rachel said, hugging the happy couple. "We have a lot of work to do."

"I know. That's why I need to talk with you."

"Congratulations, man," Ross and Joey said as they exchanged handshakes and slaps on the back with Mike. "Do we have any work to do?"

"Thanks. I don't think so."

"Good," Joey said. "Let the women go crazy. We'll just plan your bachelor party."

"Sounds good to me."

"Come to my place tomorrow, Phoebe," Rachel said. 'We can talk about all the details."

"Great. Do you think we could get Monica on like a web cam or something? I'd like her to be a part of this and help us with Adrianna's role. What do you think?"

"Sure. We can ask her. I bet Chandler would have a web cam, don't you think so, honey?"

"Me?" Ross asked, not realizing he was part of the conversation. "Yeah, sure. Maybe."

"We're going to call tonight," Mike said. "We'll ask."

"Good," Rachel said. "Let me know because we'll have to hook up ours."

"It is hooked up, Rach," Ross said. "Don't you remember we talked with Ben the other night?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, there you go. We're ready."

"Another wedding," Joey said, sounding somewhat nostalgic. "I wonder if Monica and I will ever get married, not to each other, of course, and if Chandler will ever get married again."

"My sister will definitely get married," Ross stated emphatically. 'I don't know to who or when, but I know some way, somehow, she will walk down that proverbial aisle as a bride. You and Chandler, who knows? Who would've thought Chandler would have been married and have a child?"

"Not me, that's for sure," Phoebe said. "But I agree about Monica. And if you want to, Joey, you know you could easily find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Chandler, I don't know. I bet you he never gets married again. I think he'll be satisfied being a single dad."

Not if Monica has anything to say about it, Rachel thought. But outwardly, she wholeheartedly agreed with her husband and friends.

* * *

Since Chandler made the suggestion, which to Monica meant he didn't care if she looked through some personal items of his late wife, she decided to check out the books on the shelving that lined one wall in the family room. She knew if she felt better, she would most likely be a lot more curious about Stephanie. Maybe the books would give her some insight without having to do any scrutinizing. Her eyes scanned the various titles. The genres clashed, no doubt about it, but Monica knew there was no way Stephanie had read them all. There hadn't been enough time. For her purposes, she didn't want anything too serious or gory. A lighthearted romance or mystery would probably work. She wanted something that would relax and aid in her quest for sleep. Where were her brother's lectures on dinosaurs when she needed them? Talk about a sure-fire cure for insomnia.

She chuckled as she pulled a medium-sized paperback from the shelf. Romance and mystery by a well-known author. Sounded good to her. She knew she would have to sit soon, but she decided to read the back cover to make sure it would hold her interest if she couldn't get to sleep. Something in the space where the book had been caught her eye. At first, she thought she was seeing things, but a more thorough glance told her there was something near the back of the shelf. Her tapered fingers clutched an object whose shape seemed very familiar. After retrieving it, she gasped when she saw the full bottle of sleeping pills. The name on the bottle read Stephanie Miles.

"Well, well, Stephanie. Looks like we might have had something else in common."

She was almost becoming numb to the eerie similarities. Almost.

But why was the bottle hidden among the books? Monica searched again after moving more paperbacks and found an almost empty bottle of sleeping pills. She glanced around the family room, beginning to wonder if this was where Stephanie had spent the majority of her nights.

Why did the bottles have her maiden name if the prescription dates were after she and Chandler had been married? She realized she'd never thought about it. Had Stephanie taken his last name? What did it mean if she hadn't? Suddenly, Chandler and Stephanie's married life seemed much more intriguing than the novel she held in her hand.

What was she going to do with the bottles of pills she had uncovered? Especially since the expiration dates were still two months away, and she wasn't sure she could go much longer without any medication. Should she continue to search for more?

_Stop it. You know what you need to do. You need to tell Chandler._

The part of her brain that still functioned at normal capacity knew he needed to know about this. He needed to see if more bottles existed. Did he know or suspect anything about the pills? He needed to make sure the house was safe for Adrianna. Right?

His voice startled her into action. She placed the bottles back on the shelf and then set the book in front of them before she turned around to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I-I'm fine. What's up?"

He held out the cordless phone. "Phoebe's on the line. She wants to talk to you."

"I didn't hear the phone ring."

She took the receiver from Chandler and greeted Phoebe while trying to sit comfortably on the sofa. Chandler sat next to her.

"Monica, how are you?"

"I-I'm okay. You sound very upbeat."

"I am. Mike and I told the gang tonight. We set our wedding date for Valentine's Day."

"Wow, that's so great. Congratulations!"

"Thank you. Can you let Chandler know? I wanted you guys on speaker phone, but he said you're having some back pain, and he didn't want to make you walk."

"Why didn't you tell him when he answered the phone?" she challenged, sounding suddenly irritated.

"I don't know," Phoebe said, her voice sounding just as annoyed. "I told you I wanted you guys on speaker phone, but he didn't want to do it."

"Because he didn't want to make it harder on me. That's no excuse for not telling him."

"What is wrong with you?" Phoebe asked.

"Nothing."

Monica didn't know why, but she felt combative. She also didn't like what she perceived to be Phoebe's cavalier attitude towards Chandler. It didn't sit well with her.

"I just don't get why you didn't say anything to Chandler. You did ask his daughter to be in the wedding."

"Don't you think I know that?" Phoebe retorted, quickly losing her patience. "I wanted to share my good news with you and find out how you're doing, but if you don't want to talk to me, put him on the line."

"It's not that I don't want to talk with you…"

"Never mind," she said, cutting her off. "I'll talk to Chandler."

"Fine. Here he is. Congratulations again."

Puzzled at the way their conversation sounded, Chandler took the phone and talked with Phoebe.

"February 14th," he said. "Got it. I'll let Adrianna know."

"Rachel and I wanted to set up a web cam meeting tomorrow with Monica, but she may not want to. She sounded upset."

Chandler looked at Monica who had her eyes closed but was still scowling. He noticed her cheeks looked pale, too. The pain must be making her short-tempered.

"I'll hook up my laptop. I'm sure it'll be fine. But you should probably talk with her about the particulars."

"No need," she said, ready to wrap up the conversation. "Tell her I'll call her on her cell tomorrow when we're ready."

"Okay. I'll let her know."

"Great. Thanks. Bye."

"Well, that was interesting," he said when the phone call ended.

He noticed she had opened her eyes even though she looked tired and drawn.

"I don't get her sometimes," Monica said.

"Don't let her upset you," Chandler said. "You don't need the stress."

But Monica couldn't let it go.

"Did I not sound happy enough? I am glad for them. I just thought it would be nice if she told you the news herself. Was that so wrong?"

"No, of course not. But, Monica, you have to remember I haven't been around you guys. I felt distant from Phoebe when we were at your place. I was surprised she hugged me and asked me if Adrianna could be in the wedding. It's okay."

"You're okay with her treating you almost like an afterthought even though she wants your daughter to be in her wedding? I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me."

"It's Phoebe. And me. What can I say? You know we've always gone back and forth with our barbs and remarks. I guess it's kinda who we are. But I appreciate you looking out for me. That was nice."

He smiled and so did Monica, which lessened the strain on her face.

"You're welcome," she said, maybe not even fully realizing that's what she had done.

She just knew she didn't appreciate the way Phoebe tried to brush Chandler aside. A certain protectiveness had come over her, and she didn't mind it. At all.

"I need to hook up my laptop so you can converse with her and Rachel tomorrow. I hope you feel up to it."

"Me, too."

"Where do you think you might want it?"

"I guess the dining room."

"Consider it done."

"Thanks."

"You looked like you had a book in your hand when I came in. Did you find one that interests you?"

"I did."

_I found a couple of other interesting items, too. _

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

"Yes. I'm going to see if that book will relax me so I can sleep."

"I'll leave so you can rest."

He stood and headed for the hallway. Monica's voice stopped him. She knew she needed to tell him what she had found.

"Chandler…"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"When I was looking through the books, I…"

The chime of the doorbell interrupted her next words.

"Sorry, Mon. That's probably Adrianna. I need to answer the door. Don't forget what you were going to tell me."

"I won't."

"I hope you don't mind, but I have a feeling her grandparents will want to cook for us and stay to eat."

"Would it be rude if I stayed in here? I don't feel up to socializing. I'm sorry, but I don't."

"Of course not. I'll let them know."

"Thank you."

"No problem. I need to answer the door."

Monica nodded and let him leave, knowing he still didn't know about what she had discovered and that a solution for the pain she had been enduring was only a few steps away.


	13. Chapter 13

Hi! Thank you for your continued interest in this story and thanks in advance for taking the time to read this chapter! :-)

* * *

Chapter 13

"We're sorry Monica won't be joining us," Lorraine said as she and her husband served dinner.

"She's resting to feel better," Chandler explained. "She hopes you understand. Monica asked me to thank you for making the soup."

"I hope she likes it."

"I'm sure she will."

As the dinner conversation dwindled, Lorraine nudged George and exchanged a glance that was not lost on Chandler.

"Is there something else?" he asked.

"Yes, dear. As a matter of fact, there is. George and I were talking, and we think it's time to pack up Stephanie's remaining items that you and Adrianna will probably never need."

"Like the majority of her books," the older man said.

"Yes. There's a center near us that could use them."

"That's fine. There are some I would like to keep for Adrianna."

"Of course. We know which ones they are. We picked up a few boxes at the store, so before we leave, we'll start packing the books."

"You can't do it tonight," Chandler said.

"Why not?" George asked.

"Because Monica is in the family room. She just got comfortable and is trying to sleep. I'm not going to disturb her. Leave the boxes. I'll load them for you."

"No!" Lorraine and George said in unison.

Chandler looked at both of them. "What's going on? Why don't you want me to sort through the novels?"

"We don't want to waste your time, dear. We know you are busy with Adrianna and now Monica."

"And you have to go back to work soon," George added. "You shouldn't have to spend the remainder of your vacation doing something that we can do in a short amount of time."

"We promise we won't disturb Monica. We'll be very quiet."

"No," Chandler said. "You're not going to bother her. If you don't want me to do it, then you'll have to come some other time when the family room is available."

When they would have protested, Chandler stopped them.

"This is not up for discussion," he said. "The answer for doing this tonight is no. I don't know how much clearer I can be."

"Fine. We'll leave the boxes. We'll come by later in the week."

"Call first, please. My schedule is going to be busy the next few days."

They left it where Chandler would call them when he was available.

After they said their good-byes, he stood at the entryway so as not to disturb Monica and inspected the neatly stocked shelves.

_What was so important about these books?_

"Chandler?"

"Hey," he said, stepping into the room. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I was just resting my eyes."

"Still can't sleep?"

"No."

He sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"Want me to bring you some soup?"

Monica's stomach rebelled at the thought of food.

"No, thanks. Are they still here?"

"They left. To be honest, I'm glad you were in here; otherwise, they probably would've stayed for another two hours at least."

"Why?"

Chandler shook his head. "They had some weird idea that tonight, of all nights, would be a good time to pack up the books. Is that crazy or what?"

"A little," Monica said, her eyes drawn to the shelf where the pills remained hidden. "I wonder why tonight was so important?"

"Who knows? They're going to do it. They were adamant about me not doing it, but I told them I would let them know when it was convenient. We have enough going on."

"Good for you," she said, even as she had to wonder if they knew about the pills.

"Monica, you're shivering under that blanket. Do you want me to start a fire?"

"No, don't. I know I'm…shaking, but I feel like I'm burning up."

"Do you have a fever?"

Chandler felt her forehead and cheeks. Her skin was actually cool to the touch, almost too cold.

"You don't have a fever. Should you try to walk to your room? Maybe you'll be more comfortable in bed."

"I don't…want to move. Do you have…another blanket?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

He returned and draped another blanket on top of her. Monica willed herself to stop shivering.

"Maybe Lorraine is right. Maybe we should go to the hospital. You really don't look well."

"I'll be…fine."

She knew she needed to divert attention from her worsening condition.

"I'll try that…that tea you mentioned. And…maybe a… few crackers?"

"Are you sure, Mon?"

She nodded; afraid her teeth would clatter if she tried to speak again. She didn't know how she was going to drink the tea, but she knew she had to try.

"I'll be right back."

While Chandler poured boiling water into a mug, Adrianna walked into the kitchen.

"Is Monica sick?"

"You know, honey, I think she might be. She wants some tea, but I'm not sure it's going to help."

"Can I see her?"

"You can say 'hi,' but if she doesn't want to talk, don't bother her. Okay?"

Adrianna nodded and then made her way into the family room.

"Hi," she said, standing in front of Monica.

"Hi," she whispered.

The stark whiteness of Monica's face scared Adrianna a little.

"Daddy said you might be sick. I'm sorry."

Monica nodded.

"Do you want my bear? He helps me when I don't feel good."

"Tha…that's sweet, but I-I'm…okay."

"Really?" Adrianna said. "I think you need my bear."

Monica knew she was in trouble if she couldn't fool a four-year-old.

Adrianna left the room and returned with Timmy at the same time Chandler arrived carrying a mug of hot tea and a few crackers on a plate.

"Daddy, Monica needs my bear to feel better."

Chandler took one look at Monica and agreed with his daughter.

"You're scaring me, Mon. I don't think we should take any chances with your health. We don't know what's going on."

_I know, but I'm not telling you._

"Maybe it…it's a twenty…twenty-four hour thing."

She struggled to speak the words.

"If…if only I could sleep…"

How she wished she'd kept the sleeping pills with her instead of on that shelf that seemed so far away.

"That's why we should go to the ER. They can help you."

"Tomorrow. I-I'm sure I'll…I'll feel…better."

"Really, Mon? Do you honestly think you will?"

"I-I have to."

She closed her eyes, trying to force herself to sleep so Chandler would stop looking so concerned and talking about taking her to the hospital and Adrianna would stop looking at her with fear and pity in her eyes. She didn't want them to worry. She would be fine. She really would. If only she could sleep.

Chandler and Adrianna stayed with Monica, who seemed to have calmed down. Her body wasn't convulsing as much, and she had kept her eyes closed for almost an hour. Chandler knew she wasn't in a deep sleep, but maybe some rest had finally descended upon her.

"I think it's okay to leave. You need to go to bed, Adrianna."

"I don't wanna leave. You said we hafta help."

"We are. We're with her, but she seems all right for now. You can help her again in the morning."

"Are you gonna stay with her like when I don't feel good?"

"I'll check on her throughout the night."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Before she left, Adrianna set her bear on the coffee table so Monica would see it when she woke up and maybe hold it. She was a big girl who didn't need her bear to fall asleep. Monica needed it more than she did.

"He'll help when you aren't here," she said to her father.

"That's so sweet," Chandler said. "I'm sure Monica will appreciate your thoughtfulness and his help."

In a spontaneous move, Adrianna leaned in and gave Monica a light kiss on her pallid cheek.

"Feel better," she whispered and then followed her father out of the room.

Once she was snuggled in her bed, she asked her father what happens if Monica doesn't feel better.

"I'll call her doctor," he said.

"She looks sick."

"You're right. She does."

"Help her, Daddy."

"I plan to. I'll do my best."

He stayed with Adrianna until he knew she had fallen asleep, and then he checked on Monica, who hadn't budged. She seemed to be in a peaceful slumber, so he went into the living room to lie on the couch for a while. He doubted he would get much sleep, but he wanted to take advantage of the quiet to get some rest.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he heard was his daughter yelling for him. He jumped off the sofa and ran towards the sound of her panicked voice, which seemed to be coming from the family room.

"Adrianna, what's wrong?" he called out before he reached her.

"Daddy! Hurry! It's Monica!"

When he arrived, he found Monica sprawled on the carpet, on her left side near the bookshelves, an open bottle of pills in her right hand, most of them scattered next to her, along with a few paperbacks. He quickly knelt down beside her and with a surge of relief that last only a few seconds, he realized she was breathing. He didn't want to move her, but he called her name in case she could hear him. When there was no response, he grabbed the nearest phone and called 911.

His heart raced at the sight of Monica lying, unconscious, on the floor in his home. He wasn't sure if he should move anything until the EMTs arrived, but he wanted to grab the bottle out of her hand to find out what was going on. He knew they weren't her pills, but where did she get them, how many had she taken, and why?

When he felt an urgent tug on his pants, he looked down and realized his daughter was frightened to her very core. He lifted her into his arms and told her everything was going to be all right.

"Help is on the way, Adrianna. I'm so thankful you found Monica and called for me."

She wrapped her small arms around his neck and buried her face in his right shoulder as a flash from the past surfaced in her mind.

"Mommy," she said and trembled in her father's protective arms.

"What?"

He tried to pry his daughter loose so he could look at her, but she tightened her hold on him.

"Mommy," she said again. "Mommy and Monica."

"What about your mom and Monica?" he asked, trying to be gentle but wanting to know what she was talking about.

What would Monica being unconscious on the floor have to do with her mother?

"Mommy. Monica. Bottle. Hand. White."

The images were coming to her in lightening quick spurts.

"Adrianna, help Daddy. I don't understand what you're saying."

In the distance, he heard the sirens and knew the paramedics would be there soon. Monica had not stirred. With Adrianna still clinging to him, he knelt down once more to check on Monica and that's when he saw another bottle that had rolled towards the bookshelf. He picked it up and read the name on the label and what the prescription was for.

"What the…"

"Mommy!" Adrianna practically screamed when she saw her father holding the brown bottle.

"I think I know what you're trying to tell me," he said and hugged her closer, realizing his daughter must have seen her mother taking the pills and was recalling the incident.

"Daddy," Adrianna pleaded as he carried her to the front door to let the EMTs into his house, "please don't let Monica die like Mommy did!"


	14. Chapter 14

Hi, again! Thanks to all of you for your great reviews and follows and favorites and thanks for reading this latest chapter! :-)

* * *

Chapter 14

Monica regained consciousness while the paramedics attended to her.

"Wha-what happened?" she asked, panicking when she saw the swarm of activity taking place around her. "Where's Chandler?"

He stood off to the side so the paramedics could do their job without interference, but he stepped into Monica's line of vision to respond.

"I'm right here, Mon. I'm not going anywhere."

An EMT who looked to be in his forties and very fit addressed her.

"Ms. Geller, you were found unconscious on the floor in this room. Do you remember anything about the incident?"

"No, not really."

Feeling something pricking her left arm, she glanced that way and saw they had given her an IV. A part of her brain recognized it as a good thing.

"Your vital signs are less than optimal, and we understand you're suffering with severe back pain from a fall."

"Yes, that's true."

A younger, dark-haired paramedic approached her from the opposite side. "Ms. Geller, what can you tell us about this?"

He held up the bottle to make certain she could see it.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Ms. Geller…"

"Please. Call me Monica."

"Okay, Monica. This bottle was found in your hand and pills were scattered on the rug. Do you have any recollection of swallowing these?"

"I didn't," she said, her memory becoming a little clearer.

"You didn't what?" he asked.

"I didn't take those pills."

"Are you sure?" the older man questioned.

"Yes. I swear. I wanted to take them because I was desperate for sleep," she admitted, averting her gaze from Chandler's questioning eyes, "but I didn't. I guess…I guess I must have passed out when I was holding the bottle, but I know I didn't take any of them. I didn't!"

"Okay. Take it easy. Just try to relax. Your doctor will order a lab workup. He'll determine what happened."

"I know what happened," she said, her voice raspy but defiant as the full extent of what was about to occur dawned on her. "I didn't take any pills."

After they stabilized her, the EMTs prepared Monica for transport to the nearest hospital.

"I'm going to follow in my car," Chandler assured her. "I just have to ask Diane if she can watch Adrianna."

"I go with you," his daughter said, her voice low and scared.

Chandler saw Adrianna clutching her bear and looking up at him with fear in her sky blue eyes, and he knew she wouldn't let him leave without her.

"Yeah, okay. I think it is better if you're with me."

"Is there any family you need to notify?" the younger paramedic asked.

"Yes," Chandler said. "Monica has a brother. I'll talk to him from the hospital. He can let her parents know."

"Chandler, don't call," she said, her voice weak. "Please."

"Monica, even though I'm not sure exactly what happened here, I think Ross should know about this."

"Not yet. Call Joey," she said, as they began to wheel her towards the ambulance. "He can fill you in."

"Joey?" he repeated, not certain at all Monica had spoken the right name.

He thought to pack a few things they might need for a possible long night in the ER, and then they headed to the hospital.

* * *

"How is Monica Geller?" Chandler asked the friendly-looking nurse seated at the station in the Emergency Room as soon as they arrived.

She checked her computer for the latest information.

"She's in Room 8. They're working on her. You'll have to wait to see her."

Chandler nodded and found two chairs together in the rather spacious but nondescript waiting area.

"Are you okay?" he asked Adrianna, who had not spoken a word since they left the house.

She nodded and continued to hold her bear close.

"I need to call Joey."

Even though it was the middle of the night on the East Coast, he had to make the call. He had to find out what Joey knew. As soon as he heard his voice, he knew he had awakened him from a deep slumber.

"Joey, it's Chandler. I'm sorry to be calling at this hour."

"It's okay," he said, instantly alert when he heard his friend's voice. "You don't sound good. If you're calling now, something must be wrong. Is it Adrianna? You?"

"No," he said, running an agitated hand through his hair. "It's Monica."

"Monica! What happened?"

"That's just it, Joe. I'm not sure. We found her unconscious on the floor. There were pills everywhere, and she was holding the bottle."

"Oh, man. I thought she wasn't gonna take any more pills. She told me she wanted to get treatment for her back. You were supposed to be helping her!"

"You knew about this?"

"Yeah," Joey admitted, sounding contrite. "I knew what was going on."

"Could you explain it to me? Please? I'm clueless in California."

"Chandler," Joey said, knowing there was no easy way to say it. "Monica's addicted to her pain pills."

"Addicted," Chandler said, taking a moment to let that word roll around in his overwrought mind. "To her pain meds."

"Yeah," Joey said and sighed. "I'm sorry to put you in the middle. I begged Monica to tell you, but she thought she could kick her addiction on her own without you ever needing to know."

"As most addicts do," he said, "until they realize they can't."

"Didn't you take away her pills? How did she end up with them?"

"That's another thing. She didn't have _her_ pills in her hand. Oh, no. That would've been too easy, right? No, we found her with a bottle of Stephanie's sleeping pills that I never knew she had!"

"What?!" Joey yelled.

"Yeah, I know. There's a lot going on. And I need answers for most of it."

"When you said 'we' found her, you meant you and the paramedics, right?"

"Of course that's not who I meant."

"Chandler, don't tell me…"

"Adrianna? Oh, yeah. She stumbled right onto Monica. She's the one who called out for me."

"How's she doin'?"

"Not well. She hasn't spoken since we left the house."

"She's with you at the hospital?!"

"Do you think she would've let me leave her? She's having flashbacks of seeing her mother with those damn pills. I don't know all that's going on in her mind, but to be honest, I'm glad she's here. I think I need her as much as she needs me."

"Monica's going to be all right, isn't she?"

"I think so. She was coherent at the house. They're examining her, so I haven't been able to see her."

"You guys are gonna be okay, right?"

"I want us to be," Chandler said, realizing he wasn't ready to evaluate the status of his relationship with Monica at the moment, "but there are so many things I don't understand."

"Give her time, man. If there's anyone she'll want to open up to when she's ready, I know it's you."

"She doesn't want me to call Ross. At least, not yet."

"I have to say the rest of the gang has been, to quote you, pretty clueless in Manhattan."

"How can that possibly be? She sees them almost every day!"

"I have to give her credit. She hid it pretty well."

"But not from you. I'm glad you were there for her, Joe."

"I'm not proud of what I did. I enabled her, and I know that's the worst thing to do, but she just seemed so lost and fragile. Especially after the break-up. It was a Monica I had never seen before, and frankly, I was scared for her. I thought if I didn't go along with her wishes, she would cut me off, and then what would've happened? At least with me covering for her, she let me be in her life. I know that's lame, but it's the way I felt. I really thought she would tell you the truth once you guys went to California. I didn't think it would happen right away, but I thought she would get the help she needed."

Chandler looked up at the tiled ceiling. "Well, she didn't. I don't know what that says about us, but there it is."

"Don't judge her too harshly. She was pretty deep in denial and her addiction by the time you arrived. You gotta give her a chance."

"I want to," he said, his voice laced with sadness. "I just wish she had given me one."

"You know what. We finished taping our holiday episodes, so the studio's gonna be dark for a couple of weeks. I'd like to be with you guys. You don't know what's going to happen with Monica, and I can help with Adrianna and whatever else you got going on."

"I can't ask you to give up your down time, Joe."

"You're not askin'," he said, his mind already made up. 'I'm offering."

Chandler looked at his daughter who was silently rocking back and forth in her seat, her eyes barely focusing, and sighed inwardly.

"I have to admit I could use the help. Again. But I can't take advantage. It's not fair to you."

"Are you kidding me?" Joey said, already throwing a few things into a carry-on bag. "After all you've done for me. I'm on a flight today. I'll call you when I land."

"I really appreciate this, Joe. I am scared. For Monica. And for my daughter. I have more questions than answers, and I won't be able to rest until I know exactly what happened."

A little while later, a silver-haired man wearing a crisp white coat with a stethoscope wrapped around his neck approached Chandler and Adrianna.

"Mr. Bing?"

"Yes," Chandler said, rising from his seat. "I'm Chandler Bing."

"I'm Dr. Norman Wright. I'm the ER doctor who is treating Monica Geller."

"How is she?"

"She's in a lot of pain."

"Her back?"

"Her entire body. I don't know if you're aware of this, but Ms. Geller is going through severe withdrawal. She gave me permission to tell you."

Chandler nodded. Hearing it confirmed just added to his somber mood. "I found out a little while ago that she's addicted to her pain meds. I had no idea, but sitting here, I've had time to think, and I realize I should've known something serious was going on."

"If you hadn't been observing her for any length of time, chances are you wouldn't have recognized what she was going through as withdrawal."

"She's going to be okay, right?"

"Ms. Geller is going to have to go through it. We can't give her anything until the medication in her system is completely gone."

"I understand."

"We have ways to help speed up the process, but she is going to be miserable for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, most likely."

"What happens after that?"

"We talk to her. Find out what she's thinking and feeling. Does she realize she's addicted? Does she want to get help?"

"She is in a lot of pain with her back. She can't live like that. There's no quality of life."

"We can monitor treatment for her back. She can get the help she needs. It just has to be in a controlled environment."

Chandler nodded. "Can I…can I see her or would it be too much for her? I don't want to upset her more."

"The technician is with her. I've ordered several lab series that her doctor in Manhattan has requested. I'm in touch with him since he has the most knowledge about her medical history. He's also ordered a few tests, but we know we need to be gentle with her. Once that's done, we'll let you know if she wants to see you. It's going to be a few more hours."

As soon as Chandler returned to his seat, Adrianna climbed onto his lap and leaned back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You need to sleep," he said after he'd held her for a little while. "I brought your favorite blanket. Why don't you try to get comfortable on the chair?"

"Stay here."

"Then close your eyes, okay? It's going to be a long night."

* * *

After drifting in and out of restless sleep for most of the night, Chandler saw the sunrise from the bay window on the other side of the room that he and Adrianna were the only ones occupying. Nurses had taken pity on him throughout the night and had brought him coffee and fruit and strawberry gelatin in small plastic cups. Adrianna slept peacefully in his arms and for that, he was grateful. She even let go of Timmy, so he knew she was in dreamland. When he heard the soothing voice of Adrianna's caretaker Nancy, he looked up in surprise.

"What…what are you doing here?"

"Diane called me. She said you might need some help and since I'm not working for anyone else today, I thought I'd come by. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Is she okay?"

"Thanks. I think she's going to be. They ran a bunch of tests, and then apparently, she got really sick, so I can't see her. They want me to wait until she's feeling better."

The perky blonde took a seat next to Chandler. "And how's this one doing?" she asked, lightly touching Adrianna's cheek and smiling.

"She's okay. She finally fell asleep."

"You could have called me. I would've come to your place to watch her."

"She wasn't going to let me leave without her. She's been very clingy lately. I think there's too much going on."

"If you think it was crazy before, how are you going to handle this?"

"I know. I was sitting here thinking the same thing. My best friend from New York is flying in today to help. I have to get things back on track. For Adrianna's sake, if nothing else."

"Why don't you let me take her so you can get something to eat? Preferably, something hot and nutritious."

"If she wakes up…"

"We'll be fine. I'll let her know where you are."

"I could eat," he admitted. "What I really want is a hot shower and my bed, but this will have to do. Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Take your time. If she wants you, we'll come find you in the cafeteria."

When Chandler returned a little while later, Adrianna was awake and being entertained by Nancy.

"I brought us coffee," he said, handing a cup to Nancy. "And I brought milk for you, Adrianna. I have cereal in the backpack and raisins. Are you hungry?"

"I want milk."

"Here you go."

As soon as Chandler put the straw in the milk carton and gave it to Adrianna, one of the nurses approached them.

"Mr. Bing?"

"Yes."

"Dr. Wright said you can see Ms. Geller for a few minutes."

"Thank you. That must mean she's feeling better?" he asked hopefully.

"She's calmed down quite a bit, but she's still in a lot of pain. She is asking to see you, though, so Dr. Wright thinks that's a good sign."

"I'll be right there."

The nurse left and Chandler looked at Adrianna and Nancy.

"You'll be okay?"

"We'll be fine. Go see your friend. I think it's great she's asking for you."

"Me, too."

"Tell her to feel better, Daddy."

Chandler smiled. "I will."

* * *

Standing outside Room 8, Chandler exhaled a deep breath as he tried to prepare himself for what he might see and how Monica might react to seeing him. He entered the room and saw that she was staring straight ahead, with just the one IV in her left arm. A heart monitor and a blood pressure machine beeped and hummed. An instrument to measure her oxygen level possessed her left index finger. She looked pale and wan and frail, but her beautiful blue eyes seemed very alert.

"Monica?" he said, tentatively approaching the bed with the side rails up.

She turned her head at the sound of the familiar, soothing voice. "Hey."

"Are you feeling any better? I heard things got pretty rough for you. I'm sorry."

"I still feel like I'm going to be sick," she said. "But there's nothing they can do."

"It'll be over soon," he said, trying to be encouraging. "And then you can begin to heal."

She nodded as tears glistened in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Chandler found himself choking up at how defeated she looked and sounded. This was not the Monica he was used to. He knew he had to be strong. For her sake, if nothing else.

"Don't do this, Mon. Okay? You need your strength to get through the next few days."

"But what you saw. And Adrianna…how is she?"

"She's fine. She said to tell you to get better. That's an order from both of us."

A small smile seeped through her tears. Somehow, he could always make her feel better. "I'll try."

"I know you Monica Elizabeth Geller. You're going to do more than try. You are going to conquer this. You are going to come out of this stronger and better than ever. I firmly believe that, and I won't let you believe anything else."

"You're still being so good to me. I don't understand. How can you not hate me for what I've done? For what I've put you and your daughter through?"

"Hate you?" Chandler said, stunned by the use of such a strong and vile word. He knew he needed to put her mind at ease. "Monica, I don't hate you. I lo…"

He stopped when he realized what he'd been about to say.

Monica stared at him. What was the rest of that sentence? Would he have said the "L" word? How could that be? How could she be lying in the ER, going through this hellish drug withdrawal, and the man she had come to care about so much was ready to tell her he loved her? This could not be happening!

"What, Chandler?" she asked because she had to know. Her eyes darted back and forth as she searched his face and tried to figure out what he had been about to say. "Finish your thought."

He realized he wanted to say the words, but the look on her face made him think he would scare her more. He should've realized she wasn't ready to hear a declaration of love. He tried to cover as best he could.

"I wanted to say I look..I look forward to helping you get through this."

She nodded, and then the tears she had tried so hard to keep at bay rolled silently down her pale cheeks. He quickly grabbed a tissue and began to wipe her eyes.

"It's okay, Monica. Just please know I don't hate you, and Adrianna doesn't either. We care about you. So much."

She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak. Chandler reached down to hold her right hand in his. She welcomed his warm and gentle touch.

"I can't believe I haven't ruined this," she finally said. "Thank you for being with me."

"You're welcome," he said and gave her a tender smile. "When you feel better, we need to talk, but know that there is always hope, Monica. That's what you need to focus on."

"Excuse me," the nurse said, entering the room. "Ms. Geller, they're ready to move you to your room."

"Okay."

"I should get out of the way," Chandler said.

"Are you leaving the hospital?" she asked, a trace of panic in her voice.

"No," he said, realizing she wanted him to stay. "I'll wait outside until they take you to your room, and then I'll visit for a while if they'll let me."

"Oh, good," she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

He stroked her hair and placed a soft kiss on her cool cheek.

"I'm here for as long as you need me."

With those words and that promise swirling around in her mind and her heart, Monica closed her eyes and let herself relax enough to savor some much-needed sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Hi! Here's another chapter I hope you will enjoy! Thanks again for your great support! I appreciate it very much!

* * *

Chapter 15

Only after being reassured by the hospital staff that Monica was stable and would sleep for a long while did Chandler and Adrianna go home. Once there, he coaxed her to take a much-needed nap and then he checked his phone and saw the message light blinking. Thinking it might be Joey but expecting him to call on his cell, he pressed the button and heard the frantic voice of Rachel telling him they could not reach Monica on her cell and that they knew Joey was traveling to California. Phoebe piped in with a threatening tone advising him to call them back. Immediately.

With everything that had happened, he'd forgotten that Monica was supposed to do a web chat with them. Not knowing exactly what to say, he decided to wait for Joey's arrival to find out what he'd told them before he left.

An hour later, the two men sat in the living room trying to decide the best course of action.

"You're sure Monica's gonna be all right?"

"Yes. I don't know what the next steps are once she gets through withdrawal, but the doctor told me her vital signs are a lot stronger than when she arrived."

"That must have been scary. For all of you."

"It was. I didn't know what was going on."

"Have you thought any more about how you're gonna find out about Stephanie's prescription drugs?"

"Not really. I want to confront her parents because I think they know about it, but what if they deny everything? I don't have much else to go on; and if they know I'm suspicious, they can easily cut off any avenue I might have to finding out the truth."

"You'd better figure out something quick. They don't know Monica's in the hospital?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I'm sure I would've had a phone call if not a visit. I don't know if I should caution my neighbor and Nancy not to say anything or will that raise more questions? This is such a nightmare. And what about Ross? He has to be told."

"I know. I had to tell Phoebe and Rachel I was leaving town. You know Rach is going to tell Ross. I didn't want to lie because I figured they'd know the truth eventually, so I told them I was coming here, but they don't know why."

"Yeah, I know. I had a frantic message on my phone. I have to call them back, but what the hell do I say?"

"Just tell them Monica's not feeling well with her back and doesn't feel up to chatting. That's the truth, right? Or at least close enough. Then, when Monica decides what she wants to do, the rest of the story will be told."

"And when they ask why you're here?"

"I came for a visit since I'm on vacation."

Chandler looked dubious. "You don't think they're gonna suspect something?"

"Let them. What can they do about it?"

"I hate this. Especially with Ross not knowing. It doesn't seem right."

"It's not, but it's what Monica wants. For now."

Chandler nodded.

Further discussion was halted by the arrival of a refreshed Adrianna who ran to Joey and gave him a great big hug.

"Yay, you're here!"

"I swear you've grown since I saw you in New York."

She laughed. "I haven't."

"Okay," Joey teased, "but I think you have."

"You came 'cause of Monica."

It was a statement rather than a question.

"She's part of the reason. I came for you and your dad, too."

She nodded.

"I have an idea," Chandler said, knowing he had to call Manhattan before the phone rang again but not wanting Adrianna to overhear the conversation. "Why don't you show Joey your swing set in the backyard?"

"Oh, yeah," Joey said, nodding in understanding. "Let's go outside for a while."

"I gotta put on my play clothes."

Once Joey and Adrianna were outside having fun, Chandler called Rachel.

"It's about damn time," was the greeting he received. "What is going on?"

"I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. Monica's back is really bothering her. She won't be able to talk with you guys like you planned."

"Put her on the phone," Rachel demanded. "We can at least say 'hi' and find out how's she doing."

"Yeah," Phoebe chimed in.

"Sorry again, but that's not possible. She's sleeping."

"Is Joey there?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes. He arrived a little while ago."

"Why is he there?" Rachel asked, her tone still defiant. "You guys just saw each other. If you're keeping something from us, Chandler, we won't be so forgiving this time."

"That's right," Phoebe added. "You will definitely be on my list. Forever."

"Look, I know you both care about Monica. We all do. Just know she's trying to feel better. Okay? Joey's here because he wanted to visit."

"I'm telling Ross about this," Rachel declared. "If you're keeping something from him about his sister, you know he will never forgive you."

"Yeah, I know," he said, trying not to sound defeated. "I'll let Monica know you called and that you all care about her. Okay?"

"We want to hear from her," Phoebe said. "Soon."

"I'll let her know," was the best Chandler could offer.

* * *

After eating an early dinner because Joey was, after all, still on East Coast time, Chandler asked if he would stay with Adrianna while he went to the hospital to check on Monica.

"Of course. Do what you gotta do. That's why I'm here."

"Thanks, man. I know Adrianna will be fine with you."

And she was. At Joey's insistence, she selected a movie for them to watch while her father showered and changed clothes and then headed to the hospital where he found Monica awake, sitting up, and seemingly more alert.

"You look so much better," he said, taking long strides to stand next to her bed.

She gave him a small smile. "I'm feeling somewhat human again. My back feels a little better, too."

"That's great. You slept?"

"Yes. It was wonderful."

"Good. How about food? Are you able to eat?"

She frowned. "No. Eating still doesn't appeal to me."

She held up her left arm.

"That's why I have this IV. Maybe tomorrow. The doctor thinks I've gone through the worst, but he said getting through the night will be the real test."

"I hope you sleep through it."

"Me, too."

"Joey and Adrianna say 'hi'."

"Is he mad at me?"

"No, he's concerned about you. He's staying with me."

"Really? Why?"

"He's on vacation from the show, and he wants to help. I have more questions than answers about a few things."

"Did he tell the others? Does Ross know?"

"No. We've managed to deflect the questions, but I was hoping you'd want to talk about your brother. Don't you think he should know?"

Monica sighed.

"I was thinking about that. You're right. He should know, but I'm not ready to have that conversation."

"I'll call him and tell him you're in the hospital. At least that will explain a few things that Rachel and Phoebe are freaking out about. I can also tell him Joey is here. That should help."

"I'm sorry I keep putting you in the middle."

"It's okay, Monica. I'll feel better once Ross knows. I'll tell him you'll explain more in a day or two. Okay?"

She nodded.

"I don't want him or my parents to come here. Please make sure he understands that."

"I'll do my best. I think it'll be okay."

"Thanks for taking care of this. I owe you so much."

"You don't owe me anything. As long as you get well, that's all I care about."

"I really want to. It's all I've been thinking about since I woke up. How could I have done this to myself? I should've suffered through the treatment months ago instead of thinking I could get better on my own. What did I think was going to happen? And then, when I started feeling really bad and depressed over my stupid break-up with Richard, it was so easy to pop a pain pill. Too easy. I didn't even realize I was doing it at first. I thought it had been four or six hours since I'd taken a pill instead of only one or two. I couldn't understand why the pain kept getting worse, and I couldn't stop depending on the pills to get me through it. I lost all thought of how else to cope without taking a pill. I can't believe I gave up control of my life."

"Realizing you are dependent on the drug is the first step, Mon. You could still be in denial, but it doesn't sound like you are."

She shook her head. "I'm not. I know the hold those damn pills had on me, and look how it ended. I don't want this, Chandler. I want _my_ life back!"

When he saw she was visibly shaking, he sat on the edge of her bed and gently stroked her hair. He wanted to hold her, but he didn't want to disturb the equipment she was still hooked up to.

"This is good, Monica," he encouraged. "This is what you need. You need to have that fighting spirit so you _can_ get your life back."

"I know. I'm scared, but it's a good kind of scared, you know? Like, I know it won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. That's what I'm focusing on."

"You know we'll all help in any way we can.'

She reached for Chandler's hand and held it.

"That's also what's going to get me through this. I don't feel so alone any more. I'm very thankful for you, Chandler Bing."

"I'm thankful you're going to be all right."

She lovingly squeezed his hand and gave him the first genuine smile he'd seen since their reunion.

* * *

Chandler returned home to find Joey and Adrianna sleeping on the sofa, the movie no longer playing. He turned on the lamp and turned off the TV which caused Joey to stir. Adrianna remained sound asleep.

"Hey, how did it go?" he whispered as Chandler placed a blanket over his daughter.

"Really well. Let's talk in the kitchen so Adrianna can see we're here if she wakes up."

He grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and handed one to Joey as they sat across from each other.

"Monica looks so much better. It's amazing. She finally got some sleep. I think she's going to come out of this better than ever."

"I hope so because she had me worried."

"I think she scared herself. She seems very determined and very focused. She used that word."

"That's the Monica we know, right?"

Chandler nodded.

"She said I could tell Ross she's in the hospital, but she doesn't want me to go into detail, and she does not want him or her parents to come here."

Joey checked his watch which was still set three hours ahead.

"It's getting late there. You'd better call."

"You're right."

Chandler grabbed the phone from its base on the kitchen counter and placed the call, relieved to hear Ross' voice. He didn't think he could go another round with Rachel.

"Hey, it's Chandler."

"What's going on there?" Ross demanded without preamble. "Rachel told me something's up with Monica. I want the truth, Chandler. Tell me what's happening with my sister."

"That's why I'm calling. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but the truth is Monica didn't want me to say anything until now. She was taken to the hospital last night."

'"The hospital?! Why? Wha-wha-what's going on?"

"Her back is causing major problems," Chandler said.

He figured that was close enough to the truth; he received a thumbs up from Joey.

"I thought she was gonna get treated for that. Wha happened?"

"It got worse before she had a chance to receive the treatment."

"So now she's in the hospital? This doesn't sound good, Chandler."

"Monica's okay," he said, trying to sound upbeat. "She's getting the help she needs."

Joey nodded his approval.

"Where are you? I want to talk to her."

"I'm home, but I just came from the hospital. She's doing much better. She told me I could tell you she's in the hospital, but she wanted me to assure you she's okay."

"I should be there."

"No, you don't need to do that. Monica said she doesn't want you or your parents to come here. I'm sure she'll talk to you tomorrow or the next day. She is doing better, Ross. I hope you can believe me."

"I want to, but this is all so weird. You come back into our lives, and you and Monica act like nothing happened. Out of the blue, Monica tells us she's going with you and your daughter to California, and then she ends up in the hospital! How would you feel if she were your sister? I swear if you're messing with her…"

"I'm not, okay? She needed a break from Manhattan. From her life there. This was going to be a respite for her. Unfortunately, her pain was a lot worse than I realized, maybe even than she realized. But it's being taken care of, Ross. That's what you need to focus on. Monica is where she needs to be. For now."

Ross tried to give his former college roommate the benefit of the doubt, but he didn't know if he could. "You sound sincere."

"I am sincere. I want only the best for Monica. I can promise you that."

"Yeah, okay. Is Joey there?"

"He's sitting across from me."

"Put him on the phone, please."

"Sure. We'll be in touch. Okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I'd like to talk to Joey."

"Of course."

Chandler handed the receiver to his best friend.

"Hey, Ross."

"Did you know Monica was in the hospital when you decided to visit Chandler?"

He tried to dance around the question.

"I knew she wasn't feeling well. Look, Ross. Chandler was trying to handle Monica not feeling well and his daughter. I thought he could use some help, and since I didn't have to be at the studio, I thought I would come here."

"Have you seen Monica?"

"No, but Chandler just came from the hospital. He said she's doing better."

"I'd like you to see her, Joey. Not that I don't trust Chandler, but I don't get what's going on."

"Of course I'll see her. She'll probably call you tomorrow. She's okay, Ross. I think that's what you need to remember."

"I have your word and Chandler's about that. If I'm not convinced she's okay after I talk to her, I will be on a plane to California. You can't tell me you wouldn't do the same for any one of your sisters."

"You're right. Of course I would. But I would try to respect their wishes, too. Monica will talk to you. You just have to give her a little more time."

"That's what makes me think there's more going on than you and Chandler are telling me, but that's okay. I'll find out the truth soon enough, and if you guys have been lying to me…"

"We haven't, okay? Chandler is trying to do what Monica has asked him to do."

"I don't get that either," Ross admitted. "Why is she giving Chandler so much control over her life? He hasn't even been around the last few years."

"I can't answer that. You need to ask your sister that question."

"Oh, don't worry, I will. I have plenty of other questions, too."

"Well, hopefully, Monica will answer them."

"Let Chandler know I'll be in touch after I talk to Monica."

"Will do."

"He's not doing too good, is he?" Chandler said when the call ended.

"You can say that again. I can't blame him, though. Monica's his only sister, and he finds out she's in a hospital 3,000 miles away. You gotta feel for the guy."

"I do," Chandler said. "I hope Monica talks to him tomorrow or I know he will be on that plane."

"He's gonna talk to you tomorrow after he talks to Monica. Let's hope she can calm him down."

Chandler nodded.

While Joey was on the phone, Chandler set up his laptop on the kitchen table.

"What's goin' on?" Joey asked, nodding towards the computer.

"I had a thought while you were talking to Ross. I want to see if I can get copies of the toxicology and autopsy reports that were performed on Stephanie."

"How do you know those were done?"

"That's what I want to find out. I think whenever there's an accident and someone dies, they are automatically done."

"It was a head-on collision. I thought it was the other driver's fault."

Chandler gave his friend a pensive look. "That's what I was led to believe."

"You don't think drugs played a part in the accident, do you?"

"I don't know," Chandler said. "But I need to find out. Why, suddenly, did her parents need to pack up all the books on the shelves where Monica discovered the bottles of pills? And why were they planning to be here while Adrianna and I were in New York? Something isn't right, Joe, and I won't rest until I find out what really happened a year ago on that clear summer night when, after visiting her parents, Stephanie lost her life driving alone on the Golden Gate Bridge."


	16. Chapter 16

Hi! Here's the latest chapter! Thanks for taking the time to read. Hope you enjoy it! :-)

* * *

Chapter 16

"Hey, Monica."

She turned at the sound of the familiar, friendly voice.

"Hi, Joey."

"Feeling better?" he asked, making his way to stand next to her bed.

"Yes. I slept through the night, and I ate a light breakfast."

"That's great. You have some color in your cheeks."

"The nurse said the same thing."

"I'm so glad you're gonna be okay."

"Thanks. I'm sure you're happy you don't have to cover for me anymore."

He gave her a sheepish grin. "I wouldn't have wished this on you, but yeah, I am relieved Chandler knows the truth."

"And soon the others will, too. When Chandler arrives, I'm calling Ross."

"That's a good thing, Mon. Believe me."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Last night."

"Was he out of control?"

"He was concerned. Very concerned."

"I can imagine.'

"He'll be better once he knows the truth. And that you're getting help."

Monica nodded.

"How come you came by yourself?"

"Chandler had to run an errand so he dropped me off. He'll be here in a little bit."

"How's Adrianna?"

"She's good. She had a play date, so things worked out well."

"I'm sure she was happy to see you."

Joey grinned. "Yeah, she was."

"I wonder if I'll be able to find a way to endear myself to her, although I'm not sure it really matters…"

"Of course it does," Joey said.

He looked at Monica as if she were speaking a foreign language.

"Why would you think it doesn't matter?"

She shrugged. "I don't know what's going to happen when I finally get well. Don't mind me. I have way too much time to think while lying in this bed. I need to get moving."

"You need this rest, Mon. Even _I_ know that. You also need to take things one day at a time."

"I know. I just…"

"What?" he prompted when her voice trailed off.

She shook her head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Would you stop saying that? If you're thinkin' something, it must be important."

"You're right. I need to take things one day at a time. One moment at a time would be even better. I need to rein in my wayward thoughts."

"Monica, I know the conversation you're going to have with Ross and probably Rachel and Phoebe, too, at some point, isn't going to be easy. I know Chandler's been there for you since you guys talked in New York, but I want you to know that I'm here, too. Okay? If you want to say something, say it. You know I won't judge."

"I know. You've been a great friend to me. Better than I could have ever imagined. I'm thankful I can talk to you, but I also feel like I need to start handling some things on my own. You know?"

"I get it. But don't overwhelm yourself, okay? I'm here if you need me."

She smiled. "Thank you. You're the best."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a nurse who was so attractive it took every ounce of self-control Joey had not to flirt. Monica waited for him to break, but he didn't. He just smiled at her as she left the room after checking on her patient.

"Wow, Joey, I can't believe you didn't say anything to her."

"Took every ounce of self-control I have," he replied.

And then they shared a much-needed laugh that made them both feel better.

* * *

Before entering the receptionist's area of the medical examiner's office, Chandler took a deep breath and then straightened his tie and dark blue suit jacket. He wasn't sure what to expect when he met with Dr. Roy Cummings, the medical examiner, but he thought being neatly dressed and groomed would help. He knew he looked much different than the first time they had met, the day after Stephanie's death. Chandler didn't remember much of that meeting, except that the man was very stoic and straightforward.

When he walked up to the desk, the receptionist with auburn hair and light green eyes greeted him with a smile.

"May I help you?"

"Yes. I have an appointment to see Dr. Cummings. My name is Chandler Bing."

"Yes, Mr. Bing. I'll let him know you're here."

Five minutes later, Chandler had been seated across from a large oak desk and had been

served a glass of water.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Bing?"

"I need to know what happened the night of my wife's accident."

Dr. Cummings removed his glasses and placed them on his desk and then folded his hands in front of him.

"That accident occurred well over a year ago. Do you remember I wanted to explain my findings to you, and you said you didn't want to know, that you didn't care what had happened, and that the details wouldn't bring back your wife?"

"Obviously, I wasn't thinking clearly then, but I am now. I need to know what happened."

"Why?"

Chandler gave him an icy stare. The man was intimidating, but he was supposed to serve the public, the grieving public, wasn't he?

"Do my reasons matter? I was her husband. I have a right to know what is in her file. Are you going to force me to get a lawyer to find out what the hell happened the night my wife died?!"

"Excuse me for a moment, Mr. Bing."

Dr. Cummings left the room and returned a short time later, holding a green file folder in his large hands. He returned to his leather chair, put on his glasses, and opened the file.

"I have your wife's file. What do you want to know?"

Puzzled by his sudden turnaround but not wanting to waste more time questioning his motives, Chandler stated his concerns.

"I want to know what the toxicology reports say."

Dr. Cummings nodded and glanced through the report until he found the information. He looked at Chandler with compassion which unnerved him.

"Are you sure you're ready to hear this?"

"Yes," he responded with more bravado than he felt. "I need to know."

"Your wife had more than the legal amount of alcohol in her system. A high level of the pain medication Percocet was also present."

"I can't believe this, and yet I have to because I know it's true. Do her parents know about this?"

Dr. Cummings shifted in his chair.

"Why do you want to know about her parents?"

Chandler shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I know you're not going to answer anything you don't have to. I want a complete copy of that file. Now."

Dr. Cummings gave the file to his assistant who returned with Chandler's copy a few minutes later and handed it to him.

"Thank you. Does this include the police report?"

"Yes, it does."

After saying a somewhat cordial good-bye, Chandler left. He sat in his car in the parking lot and reviewed the file. What he read made him relive the nightmare, only this time he knew he had to face the truth. Between the toxicology and police reports he had no choice but to accept the truth of how Stephanie died. She was intoxicated and drugged out and she caused the accident.

"How the hell am I supposed to process this?"

He threw the file onto the backseat, put his car in gear, and headed for the hospital.

* * *

Monica sensed something was wrong the moment Chandler entered her room.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, realizing he had to hide how incensed he felt in front of Monica and Joey. "I'm supposed to be asking _you_ that."

"I hope I look better to you because I'm feeling much better."

"You do," he said.

And now that he'd taken a moment to observe her, he realized she did look a lot better.

"I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

The trio shared a smile and then Monica asked Chandler if she should call Ross.

"Yes," he said, producing his cell phone from his jacket pocket. "Go ahead. Joey and I will be here for support."

She nodded as she punched in the numbers.

"Hi, Ross. It's me."

"Monica! You don't know how relieved I am to hear your voice. Wha-what is going on there?"

"I'm in the hospital."

"For your back?"

"Partly because of my back, but there's something else going on."

"What is it? Monica, tell me what's wrong. I've been going crazy."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that…this has been so hard for me, but I'm going to tell you the truth."

She held out her hand; Chandler immediately reached for it and brushed his thumb against her wrist.

"You know I've been in a lot of pain for a long time."

"Yes."

"Well, in order to deal with the pain, I started to depend too much on my pain pills. I took them more often than I should have, and then I needed them more and more because I couldn't stand the pain. My tolerance lessened, and I thought the only way I could cope was to continue taking more pills."

"You're addicted?" he asked, his voice low but concerned.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Ross. I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you."

"So that's really why you're in the hospital?"

"Pretty much. I am going to get treated for my back, but I started going through withdrawal at Chandler's, and I passed out. That's when they brought me here."

"Monica, I can't believe this. I can't believe I didn't know about any of this."

"I didn't want you to. I thought I could handle it on my own. Obviously, I was wrong. But the important thing to know, Ross, is that I am getting help and I feel better. I'm okay."

"I should be there. I'll get on the next flight…."

"Please don't," she said and squeezed Chandler's hand. "It's not that I don't want you here, Ross, it's just that you have your own life and work and family to take care of. I want to continue to get better before I see you. Don't be mad. Please?"

"I'm not mad, Mon, but I want to be there. For you."

"Staying in New York will help me. For now. I'll keep in touch. I promise I will. I just…I need more time. Calling you was very hard for me. If I see you, I don't know how I might react. I need to get better before I can face any of you. Including our parents. I know they have to be told, but I don't want them to come here. I'm not ready for that."

"Do you want me to tell them?"

"Would you?"

"Of course, Monica. I'll do whatever you need. Just know we all want you to get better and we love you."

"I love you guys, too. Give Rachel a hug and kiss Emma for me. Give Ben my love, too. Thanks, Ross. I hope you don't think I'm a horrible sister."

"I don't think that. At all. If you need anything…"

"I'll call. Thanks again, Ross, for being so understanding. I really appreciate it."

"Okay. Is Chandler there?"

"Yes. You want to talk to him?"

"Please."

They said their good-byes and then Monica gave the phone to Chandler who continued to hold her hand.

"Hey, Ross."

"I need you to assure me that Monica is okay and will be okay."

"I believe she will be. She's in good hands, and she says she wants to get help."

"Did you know about this? Is this why you brought her with you?"

"No. I didn't know what was going on."

"Joey," Ross said, as the light dawned.

"Yes. That's who your sister chose to confide in."

"But you think she…she's going to be all right?"

"Yes, based on what I've seen. But it's really up to Monica. She has to decide for herself, Ross. No one can do that for her."

"I know. I'm going to respect her wishes and not come there, but I hope she'll be back here soon."

"She hasn't said anything about that. But like she said, she'll be in touch."

"Take care of her, Chandler, and remember, she's my sister."

"I will and I will."

Monica and Joey shared a confused look; Chandler shook his head to let them know there was nothing to worry about.

"That went well," he said after returning his phone to his pocket.

"I'm glad he knows. Thanks, you guys, for being here. It helped. A lot."

"No problem," Joey said.

"And now, Chandler," she continued, "you should tell us what's bothering you."

He shrugged. "Nothing's bothering me. I'm glad you spoke to Ross and that he knows."

She studied his face for a long moment. "Something else is going on. I hope you'll tell me when you're ready. I don't want to just take from you. I want to help you, too, if you need it."

"There's nothing for you to worry about. We want you to get better."

Not quite ready to let the subject go, Monica asked one more question. "Adrianna's okay, right?"

Knowing what she was doing, Chandler smiled. "She's fine, Mon. She says hello. But speaking of my daughter, I should pick her up. She'll be happy to hear how well you're doing."

"Tell her hello for me."

"I will. We'll call you later."

Monica nodded and accepted kisses on the cheek from Joey and Chandler as they said good-bye.

* * *

"You didn't fool Monica," Joey said as they drove to pick up Adrianna.

"I know. I didn't realize I was that transparent."

"It didn't go well?"

"I got my answers. It's not pretty, Joe. The file's on the backseat. Can you grab it? I don't want Adrianna to see it."

Joey held on to the file. He wanted to read it, but he knew he had to wait for his friend to tell him it was okay.

When they arrived home, Adrianna ran into the backyard while Joey and Chandler sat in the living room.

"Do you want to read that?" Chandler asked, motioning to the folder Joey still held in his hands. "Or do you want me to tell you all the gory details?"

Joey frowned. "It's that bad?"

"It's horrible. And I think Stephanie's parents knew the truth all along. I have to confront them, Joe. I just don't know how to do it."

He jumped up from the chair and headed for the kitchen. Joey followed. He grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator and tossed one to Joey.

"I feel as though I'm reliving this nightmare. Only this time, I have the undeniable facts."

Joey straddled a kitchen chair. "What facts?"

Chandler leaned back against the counter and set down his water.

"Well, for one thing, her blood alcohol was way over the limit, which I don't get because she was driving home from visiting her parents. I know they wouldn't have let her drink that much, and if she had, they certainly wouldn't have let her drive!"

"Maybe she stopped somewhere after she left their house."

Chandler ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe. But where? Why? She told me she always hated driving across that damn bridge. Why would she do it with so much alcohol and drugs in her? It doesn't make sense, Joe. It really doesn't. Unless I am just that clueless about my late wife."

"You said you think her parents knew all about this. Why'd you say that?"

"Because I think they were going to look for the pills here. I think they realized she might have left some behind, which she did. But the interesting thing about that is the drug found in her body was different than the pills Monica found. I think her parents knew about the Percocet. The medical examiner wasn't going to talk to me when he found out why I was there. He leaves and suddenly returns with Stephanie's file. And then willingly gives me a copy of everything. I think he left to call her parents. I really do."

"If that's true, it's good they were okay with you having the file, right?"

"But why, Joe? That's what I can't figure out. There's still something else I don't know about. And I think the only way I'm going to know the whole truth is by talking with them. I've gotta call them."

"Do it," Joey encouraged. "You know I'll stay with Adrianna."

"I know, and I appreciate that. I have to calm down, though. I haven't told you the worst part."

"There's more?!" Joey exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah. And this is why I have to talk to them. That file contains the police report, too. What I have believed for over a year has been a lie, Joe. According to that police report, it was Stephanie's fault, not the other driver involved. She caused the accident that took her life."

"Mommy did that?"

Chandler and Joey whipped around at the sound of Adrianna's voice.

"What?" Chandler asked, trying to stall as he crossed to kneel in front of his daughter.

"You said Mommy did a bad thing."

"What did you hear, Adrianna?"

"I heard what you said. Mommy did it. Mommy had the accident. That's what you said!"

Looking into his daughter's trusting but confused eyes, he knew he couldn't lie. "It's true, Adrianna. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out. I just learned the truth a little while ago. I'm going to find out more. Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded and then let her father hold her as she thought about what her mother had done and Chandler started to realize his entire life was about to change. Again.


	17. Chapter 17

Hi! Here is the latest chapter. Thanks again for reading and for your kind reviews and follows! :-)

* * *

Chapter 17

"I can't believe we didn't know about Monica," Rachel said, shaking her head. "How could we not have seen the signs? Some signs? Any signs?"

"Maybe we didn't want to," Phoebe offered.

Having eaten dinner, the two couples sat at Ross and Rachel's kitchen table, discussing Monica's phone call. Emma was in her room doing her homework.

"But still," Rachel said. "Monica is my best friend and Ross' sister. Would we have chosen to ignore the fact she was getting hooked on pills? I don't think so."

"She said she deliberately hid it from us," Ross said. "I guess we have to believe her. I hope I'm not that oblivious to my sister's well-being."

"Yet, Joey knew?" Mike asked. "That just seems so unlikely."

"The two of them started spending more time together after Chandler left and when Monica broke up with Richard," Phoebe said. "I can totally see him knowing about this. But I think he must've seen Monica take the pills or something. I can't imagine she just told him."

"I think you're right, Pheebs," Ross said. "She didn't say anything to Chandler, and yet she…she went to California with him."

"He must have freaked out big time when he realized she was unconscious," Rachel said, shuddering at the thought.

"I think he did. I'm sure it scared his daughter, too."

"As if she hasn't been through enough," Phoebe said. "You know, I think I can totally relate to that child. Chandler better be careful with her."

"What's Monica going to do?" Mike asked.

"Get help from what she told me," Ross said. "For her addiction and her back."

"She needs to come home," Rachel stated, her voice emphatic. "We can take care of her. She shouldn't be with Chandler in some big ol' house in the suburbs. She should be in her apartment or staying with us. You've got to convince her to come back, Ross."

Rachel's azure eyes began to fill with tears as she thought about what Monica must have been going through and was still enduring. Ross reached for his wife's hand and lovingly squeezed it.

"I'd love to do that, Rach, but I don't think she'll listen to me. She doesn't even want me or our parents to...to visit. What does that tell you? I think she wants to stay with Chandler and Adrianna while she recovers."

"It doesn't make sense," Rachel argued. "We're the ones who have been there for her!"

"Have we?" Phoebe asked.

And then the room grew quiet.

"Yes!" Rachel finally said, unwilling to believe she had not been there for her friend in her time of need.

She stood and grabbed a few tissues from the box on the kitchen counter and then dabbed at her eyes.

"Then why were we so short with her when she tried to tell us how much pain she was in?" Phoebe challenged.

The room grew even quieter as the friends took a few moments to reflect on the way they had treated Monica.

"We wanted her to get better," Rachel reasoned.

"But on our timetable," Ross said, beginning to understand what Phoebe was saying. "We…we didn't like seeing her in pain, so we tried to will her to get better so we wouldn't have to deal with it. Of course. No wonder she…she started shutting us out. How stupid am I?"

"We were scared for her," Rachel said, her voice low. Her eyes connected with her husband's. "We didn't like seeing her in so much pain."

"It was uncomfortable for us," Mike said, "so Monica tried to make it easier for us to be around her."

"But, in reality, she was hurting more and more, and we chose not to see it," Phoebe said. "I could kick myself. I really could."

Mike pulled his intended closer to his side and tried to comfort her.

"No wonder Joey was the one who was there for her," Phoebe continued. "They had only each other. We were moving on with our lives, and we couldn't even take a moment to see how much pain, and not just physical pain, Monica was in. We've got to find a way to make this up to her. We have to!"

"You're right, Phoebe," Rachel said. "I'm supposed to be her best friend, and I just wanted her to be fine so it wouldn't interfere with my plans. I thought I had matured, at least a little. Man, was I wrong."

"Wait a minute, guys," Ross said. "Look, Monica's my sister, and yes I…I agree we didn't handle this particular situation the best way, but we can't give Monica a free pass. She chose to take those pills. She wanted to keep us in the dark. Okay, maybe…maybe we shouldn't have made it so easy for her to fool us, but we can't pretend now that this isn't a big deal because it is. Monica does need our help and support, but she also needs to know that she has to take responsibility for her actions."

"Ross is right," Mike said. "Joey apparently knew about this, but he enabled her. He didn't help or confront her. We can't get caught in that trap."

"I don't care what we do or don't do," Rachel said, exasperated. "I just want my best friend back here where she belongs!"

"I love you so much, Rach," Ross said, "but I can tell you that is one decision you are not going to be able to make for Monica."

As Rachel reached for another tissue, Mike and Phoebe nodded in agreement with Ross.

* * *

"I can't believe Adrianna heard us," Chandler lamented to Joey. "Could I have made a bigger mistake?"

"You thought she was outside."

"That's no excuse. I know she lurks sometimes. My radar should've been better, especially since I know how much she enjoys being around you and because of what we were talking about. I let my guard down big time."

"Now that she knows, what are you gonna do?"

"Keep a close eye on her for one thing. Man, the last thing I need is for her to backslide. She's been doing okay, even with what happened to Monica. She just wanted to know that Monica was going to be okay. She wasn't dwelling on what she'd seen. This? Who knows?"

"I think you need to talk to her grandparents. Soon. You need to know the full story so you can figure out what you're going to do."

"You're right."

Their conversation was interrupted by the ring tone of Chandler's cell phone. He answered it and heard a male voice.

"Is this Chandler Bing?"

"Yes."

"My name is Dr. Adam Hall. I've been assigned to take over Monica Geller's care. She's been deemed ready for the next phase of her recovery which I will be supervising. I wonder if it's possible for you to come to the hospital for a consult. I talked with Monica about this, and she asked if you could be present. Is that possible?"

"Yes. When?"

"Right now if you're available."

"Give me an hour?"

"That will be fine. Go to Monica's room. One of the nurses will page me."

"Thank you, doctor. I'll do that."

"Something going on with Monica?" Joey asked.

"Yes. It sounds like good news. She has a new doctor who's taking over the next phase of her treatment. He wants to meet me in Monica's room for a consult."

Joey smiled. "Hey, that's great. Maybe she'll be home soon."

"That would be the best news. I told the doctor I could be there in an hour. I want to make sure Adrianna is okay."

"Check on her and if she's awake, tell her I'll be here to entertain her if she wants me to."

"Thanks, man. You're the best."

Chandler quietly entered his daughter's room and saw that she was sleeping with the Barbie Emma had given her. He softly brushed her brunette curls and kissed her on the cheek. When she didn't stir, he knew she was in dreamland. He knew she wouldn't sleep through the night, but he also knew the nap would be good for her. He hoped.

"She's sound asleep," Chandler told Joey. "Hopefully, this won't take long, and I'll be back before she wakes up."

"You should take advantage of this," Joey told his friend. "Call Stephanie's parents and tell them you need to talk. You can go there after you leave the hospital."

"I'll see."

"The sooner you do this…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let me see what's going on with Monica, and then I'll figure out the next step. I'll call you on your cell."

"I'll be here. Good luck. With Monica and Stephanie's parents."

* * *

When Chandler arrived at Monica's room, Dr. Hall, a handsome man who appeared to be in his early thirties and who had been talking with Monica, introduced himself.

"Thank you for coming."

"No problem," Chandler said, after he and Monica had exchanged greetings.

"Monica and I have been discussing her options. She asked that you be included before any decisions are made."

"Dr. Hall believes I'm ready to have the treatment to help my back."

"All of Monica's tests and blood work have come back negative for any drugs being present in her body. Her vital signs are fine. The best option would be to treat her back here, under my strict supervision, before she does anything else."

"By anything else, you mean treatment for her addiction?" Chandler asked.

"Yes. We definitely want to help the situation with her back so that, hopefully, she will feel better physically. Much, much better. I believe that will go a long way towards her overall addiction therapy."

"It makes sense to me," Monica said, looking at Chandler.

"I agree," he said.

"Excellent," Dr. Hall said. "I will schedule the procedure for tomorrow. Will you be able to be here, Mr. Bing?"

"Yes, and please, call me Chandler."

"Will do. Let me give the order to the nurse. I'll be right back."

After he left the room, Chandler moved closer to Monica's bed and gave her an encouraging smile.

"This is good, right?"

"Yes, it is. I'm so ready for this. Before you came, Dr. Hall had me stand up and move around. It felt so good to be out of this bed."

"If the treatment helps your back, then can you leave here?"

"That's my understanding, but I think he's going to tell us what happens next."

"You look really good, Mon."

"And you still look worried," she said. "I know you can't be concerned about me, so there's gotta be something else going on. I wish you'd open up to me."

"I'm concentrating on you. Everything's fine with me."

"I'm not buying it, but I guess I have no choice. For now."

Dr. Hall returned and told them the procedure had been scheduled for 11:00 a.m. the following day.

"If you could be here by 10:30 a.m., Chandler, that would work out well."

"I'll be here."

"Can you tell Chandler what you were telling me about what happens next?"

"Sure. We'll monitor Monica all day tomorrow, and if everything is normal and she doesn't suffer any setbacks, she'll be released from here the next day."

"She can come home?" Chandler asked.

Dr. Hall and Monica exchanged glances.

"That's up to Monica. My understanding is that she is staying with you but that her home is in Manhattan."

"That's correct."

"Monica needs to enroll in a thirty-day treatment program. I've assigned a social worker to talk with her once we know she is progressing well with her back. My recommendation would be she either stays in a treatment center for the duration or she stays with you. I would like her to be in this area for at least the next month, so I can follow up and advise as needed. Once the thirty days have passed, she is free to do whatever she wants as long as she is medically cleared."

"Dr. Hall and I talked about this a little before you got here, Chandler, and I really don't want to go to a center. Is it okay if I stay with you and Adrianna and, I guess Joey, for a little while?"

"Of course," Chandler said. "I need to know what to do for you."

"You need to provide a very safe, drug-free environment," Dr. Hall said.

"I should be able to do that. I'll do a thorough search of my house, but I believe all the pills that were there were given to the EMTs when they came to help Monica."

"I would go so far as to say I wouldn't have non-prescription medication in the house if that's possible. I know you have a young daughter…"

"Who is very healthy, thank goodness. That shouldn't be a problem."

"If you need to keep something, my suggestion would be that you put it in a good hiding place, locked away if possible, before Monica arrives. That way, you remove the temptation."

"I can do that."

"Good. Monica, the social worker will explain this in more detail, but you will be assigned a counselor who you'll need to check in with daily for thirty days. If you feel any type of anxiety or temptation or loss of self-control, you need to call this person any time, day or night. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Not that I can think of," Monica said.

Chandler said he didn't have any questions either.

"I'll leave you two to talk. Monica, I will be back to check on you."

"Are you really okay with this?" she asked Chandler when they were alone. "Because if you're not, I'll go to the center."

"I want you to be with me. I want to help."

"But it's not just you," she said, feeling the need to point out the obvious. "You think Adrianna will be okay with this or will I scare her? Again?"

"She'll be fine with it. She'll be happy to see you and know you're going to be all right."

"I'm taking over your life and your home. I shouldn't be asking you to do this."

"Monica, stop," Chandler said, making his way to sit on the edge of her bed. "I want you to be with us. I'm happy you're able to be with us. I don't want you to go away for a month and live with strangers. We'll be there to help you any way we can. This is a good thing. It is."

Monica gave him a soft smile. "I was hoping you'd feel that way, but I would totally understand if you didn't. I know this isn't going to be easy. Dr. Hall suggested I talk to my doctor in New York. I will do that as soon as I leave here. In thirty days, Chandler, I vow I will no longer be your responsibility."

"What…what are you saying?"

"You heard the doctor. I have to be in this area for a month, but after that, as long as I'm doing okay, and I plan to be doing great, by the way, I'll be able to travel. I can return to Manhattan."

"Oh, right," Chandler said, feeling as though his world was spinning out of control.

Again.

Monica gave him a puzzled look. "You know I have to go home. If I'm medically cleared and feel well enough, maybe I'll be able to return to work. Won't that be great? I hadn't been thinking about work, but now, the thought of being at the restaurant whipping up meals and thinking of daily specials appeals to me. See, I am getting better."

"Of…of course. That would be wonderful. For you."

"Chandler, what's wrong? You, of all people, know my brother will be here causing a scene if I don't go home."

"You're right," he acknowledged, trying to sound upbeat for her sake. "You have to go home. I guess I…just hadn't thought about it. But now that it's out there, you know I agree. At some point, you have to go back to your life in New York. Your new and improved life, right? I know that."

_Except there is no way I am going to be able to say good-bye and let you go._


	18. Chapter 18

Hi! Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review and follow!

* * *

Chapter 18

"Where's Daddy?"

"Hey, you," Joey said as Adrianna padded into the family room where he was watching television. "I just checked, and you were sleeping. Did I wake you?"

She shook her head as she climbed onto the sofa and sat next to him.

"What're you holding?"

"A Barbie Emma gave me."

"She did? That's so nice."

"Can I call her?"

"It's late in New York. Emma's probably sleeping."

"Oh. Where's my daddy?"

"He went to visit Monica. She might be coming here soon."

Adrianna's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"Yeah. Won't that be nice?"

She nodded. "I miss her."

Joey grinned. "You do? When did that happen?"

She shrugged and then smiled. "She's nice. I gave her my bear, but she got sick. Didn't want her to be sick."

"I think she's feeling better."

"Did my daddy say that?"

"Before he left. I think Monica's doctor had some good news to tell him."

"Daddy's sad again."

"He's not sad," Joey tried to explain. "He just wants to know what happened with your mom."

"Stay with us, Uncle Joey."

"I am. I'm right here."

"For always."

"Oh, well, you know I can't do that. I have my job and my apartment in New York."

"Emma lives there. I miss her. I like her."

"I heard from Rachel, her mom, that Emma really likes you, too. I thought you guys were gonna keep in touch."

Adrianna held up her hands. "That's why I wanna call her."

"Oh," Joey said and smiled. "Maybe we can call tomorrow."

"Her mommy is so pretty and nice. You like her?"

"Sure. As a friend," he quickly clarified. "You like Emma's father?"

She shrugged. "I dunno."

"He's a great guy. Your father and him were roommates in college."

Adrianna frowned. "What's that?"

Joey laughed. "When you're older, you'll understand."

"You went to col…col…that place?"

"College? Me? No. I didn't. But it's okay. Not everyone gets to go to college or wants to go."

"I wanna."

Joey laughed. "You haven't even gone to kindergarten."

"I'm gonna," she said and giggled as she playfully hit Joey's arm.

"Yeah, well, we'll see how you do when you're in school and have to study all the time."

"Daddy says I'll like school."

"He said that? Well, maybe you will. You'll have to tell me about it once you go."

"Maybe me and Emma can be like my daddy and her daddy."

"Or like Monica and Rachel, except Emma is older than you."

"Oh."

"But that's a nice thought, Adrianna. I'm glad you like Emma. And Rachel."

"I like Phoebe. She's funny."

"Phoebe is funny," Joey agreed.

"I like Mike. He's cute."

She realized what she said, and her soft cheeks turned bright red. After widening his eyes in pretend shock, Joey covered his mouth and pointed at her.

"You like Mike! Ooo, I'm telling Phoebe. She better watch out for you. Does your father know about this?"

"No, don't," Adrianna said, not sure if he was teasing or not. "Don't tell her. Please, Uncle Joey. Don't tell her or my daddy."

"I'm tellin' her and your father," he said, but the twinkle in his dark eyes let her know he was only kidding.

"You're mean," she said and then started to laugh when he tickled her.

It was the sweetest sound. Joey could've listened to it all night. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted a family of his own, but between Emma and Adrianna, he knew he would never lack for the cuteness factor of kids.

"I love you," she said. "Don't leave. Stay. Please?"

Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of Joey's cell phone.

"This might be your dad. He said he'd call."

He picked up his phone from the coffee table and said hello. He was surprised to hear Phoebe's voice.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked.

"Doing okay. How are things there?"

"We're okay, too."

"We heard about Monica. We feel so bad. We keep asking ourselves how we couldn't have known."

"It's okay, Pheebs. Monica's getting better. That's the main thing."

"I suppose. How is Adrianna? I've been thinking about her."

"Really? That's so funny. We were just talking about you."

"Me? Why?"

Joey looked at Adrianna who was wondering if he was going to tell Phoebe about how she liked Mike.

"She said she likes you. Thinks you're funny."

He winked at Adrianna to let her know her secret was safe with him.

"I am amusing," Phoebe said.

Mike, who was sitting next to her on the couch, rolled his eyes and then smiled when she smirked at him.

"Is she there? Can I talk to her?"

"Wait a minute. "

He covered the phone to talk to Adrianna.

"It's Phoebe. She wants to talk to you. Do you wanna?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, Pheebs. Here she is."

Joey handed the phone to Adrianna who said hello.

"Hi, Adrianna. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Having fun with Uncle Joey?"

"Yeah. He's the best."

"He certainly is. I've been thinking about you and hoping you're doing okay. We heard about Monica being in the hospital."

"Uncle Joey says she might come here."

"Oh, that would be great!"

"My daddy's with her."

"Is your dad okay?"

"Uncle Joey says he is."

"I hope you'll still be able to come to New York for my wedding."

"I wanna. I miss you. I miss Emma."

"Emma's doing great. We saw her tonight. It would be so much fun if you could be here."

"Yeah."

She heard the wistfulness in the young girl's voice and thought it would be nice to spend time with her before the wedding.

"Maybe you can come before the wedding."

"I wanna."

"Oh, yay! That would be fun. We can spend more time together."

"'kay."

"I'm glad I got to talk with you."

"Me, too."

"Tell Joey I'll call him tomorrow to find out about Monica."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye, Adrianna."

Joey had no sooner cleared that call when the phone rang again.

"Maybe this is your dad."

And it was. He told Joey he had just arrived at Stephanie's parents' home in Marin.

"Good for you. Everything's fine here. Adrianna and I are going to eat dinner. Good luck."

* * *

Trying to compose himself and his thoughts, Chandler remained seated in his car for a few minutes after talking with Joey. He looked at the huge two-story house with its flawless white paint, light blue trim, and perfectly manicured lawn and rose bushes and knew this would be one of the hardest conversations he'd ever have. But he knew it had to be done. He needed to do this for Adrianna if not for himself.

With purposeful strides, he reached the front door of the sprawling estate and quickly rang the bell before he could change his mind. When Anna, their housekeeper, answered the door, the older woman smiled when she saw Chandler.

"Mr. Bing. How lovely to see you. Is Adrianna with you?"

"Hello, Anna. I keep telling you to call me Chandler. And no. Adrianna's not with me. I know I probably should've called first, but I need to talk with Stephanie's parents if they're available. It's very important."

"Of course. Come in. I will let them know you are here."

Chandler stepped into the foyer to wait. He'd been inside their house more times than he could count, but he'd never noticed how cold and distant it felt. As he looked around at the expensive artwork and the rare collectibles, he realized his late wife had tried to mimic their house to look like her parents'. Why had he never noticed that before?

"Hello, Chandler."

He turned at the sound of Lorraine's perfectly pitched voice and was greeted by both her and George. Looking at them, he felt as though they were presenting an impenetrable, united front. Okay. His imagination was getting the better of him.

"Hello, Lorraine. George."

"Anna said you needed to speak with us," Lorraine continued. "Is there a problem with Adrianna?"

"No, Adrianna is fine. Is there a room we can go into? This might take a while."

Lorraine and George looked at each other and then shrugged.

"Of course. Let's go into the living room," George said.

After they had been seated, the couple looked expectantly at Chandler, who was sitting on the edge of the wing-backed chair and rubbing his hands together.

"Okay," he said, after clearing his throat. He knew they were waiting to hear what he had come to say. "This isn't going to be easy for me, but I have to say it. I know about the pills, and I now know the truth about how Stephanie died. And please," he continued before they could speak, "don't say you don't know what I'm talking about because I know you know all about this. That medical examiner called you before he gave me Stephanie's file, so don't try to deny this."

"What is there to deny?" George asked, a little too smug for Chandler's taste.

"That you knew what was going on with your daughter and never bothered to tell me. Me! Her husband!"

Lorraine sat up straighter on the couch and squared her shoulders. "You could've known the truth, too, young man, but you chose not to hear it. You certainly can't blame us for that."

"But what about the drugs and the alcohol? How do you explain that?"

George remained stoic as he answered Chandler's questions. "Our daughter was having a tough time emotionally, and some of that difficulty may have been caused by you. The alcohol, we're not sure about. She did not drink that night while she was in this house."

"You are not seriously going to lay this on me," Chandler said, his voice incredulous.

"Let's just say we know it wasn't the easiest of marriages," Lorraine said.

"For either of you," George acknowledged. "But that does not mean you don't bear some responsibility for what happened that ultimately caused our precious daughter's early demise."

Chandler rose abruptly from the chair and began to pace the spacious room.

"You two are unbelievable. I find out what really happened, confront you to find out what you had to do with this, and now you want to blame me?!"

The older couple shared a knowing look.

"Actually, it was always our intention to confront you," George said. "But we had the decency to wait until a reasonable semblance of time had passed. We knew you and Adrianna were having a rough time. We respected that."

"Decency? Respect?" Chandler exclaimed. "Do you even know the meaning of those words? I have no doubt that you knew there were pills in that house and that you planned to collect all the evidence while Adrianna and I were away, but we came back unexpectedly and ruined those plans. If Monica hadn't been in that room, you would have taken the bottles the night you came to the house!"

"If that's true," George said.

"And we are not saying it is," Lorraine quickly added.

"It would have been because we did not want to put our beautiful grandchild in harm's way."

"But knowing about Stephanie's drug use, while she was alive and taking care of my daughter and keeping me in the dark was just peachy. Give me a break."

"We had the situation under control," Lorraine said. "Tell him, George."

"Really? Yes, George. Please. Enlighten me. Tell me how it really is," Chandler said, looking at both of them as if he were seeing them for the first time.

Which, in some ways, he guessed he was.

"Let me ask you this. What did you do for the other driver who was severely injured and who I have been mistakenly blaming for over a year?! This was a very serious accident on the famous Golden Gate Bridge, yet there's no mention of it anywhere. I thought the man never came around because he knew it was his fault. Funny how I never heard from any insurance companies or lawyers, for that matter, but, oh that's right, you two said you would take care of everything because I needed to concentrate on Adrianna, and I believed you! I am such an idiot!"

"Everything has been taken care of," George said, beginning to try to usher Chandler towards the front door, "and there is no need to concern yourself with this matter any longer."

"There's nothing you can do about it anyway," Lorraine added, with an air of finality. "Everything related to this accident has been signed, sealed and delivered. We shall not speak of it again."

"You two are incredible," Chandler said. "I cannot believe how stupid I've been. Well, no more. I thought my parents were bad. You two have taken it to a whole new level. I thought my daughter had a chance to have normal, nice, kind-hearted grandparents. You know, the kind you read about in children's books and see on family TV. I see how badly I misjudged that one!"

"Of course, we want only the best for our granddaughter," Lorraine argued.

"Well, then, let me give you a newsflash. This isn't the way to do it."

"You've made mistakes, too," George said.

Chandler's laugh was mirthless.

"You can say that again. But my eyes are wide open, and I am thinking clearer than I have in a very long time. I realize now I have some big decisions to make. And one of the biggest ones is whether or not to let you continue to be in my daughter's life. That's right. I said it."

"You have to," Lorraine said.

"See, that's the ironic thing about all of this. I really don't. Adrianna is _my_ daughter, and no one can ever take that away from me. I don't care how much money or power or influence you think you have, you don't possess any of those when it comes to Adrianna and me. I will decide how much or how little I allow you to be in her life."

He crossed the floor to stand at the door and would not acknowledge their pleas for him to listen, even when they threatened to call their attorney.

"I'll let you know what I decide," he said, after opening the door. "Goodbye."


	19. Chapter 19

Hi! Thanks so much for your kind reviews, follows and favorites! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! Here is the latest chapter. Hope you like it! Thanks for

reading! :-)

* * *

Chapter 19

"I didn't find anything that would hurt Monica in the living room or the kitchen," Joey told Chandler as he entered the family room. "Whoa, dude, what're you doing?"

Joey stepped further into the room when he saw empty bookshelves, and Chandler sitting on the sofa sorting through numerous novels.

"Stephanie's parents want these books? They can have them. I may give them a lot more of her things, too."

"Like what?" Joey asked, propping himself on the arm of the sofa.

"Like every last thing in this house," Chandler said, tossing a stack of books into a box.

"I know you're upset about your visit with them, but you gotta think about Adrianna. She's going to need some of these things. You know she's not gonna remember much about her mother as she gets older."

Chandler sighed. "I know, but I look around this house, and it's as if I have been leading a totally different life. None of this makes sense. It was hard enough to be here when I thought Stephanie died in a tragic, pointless accident that wasn't her fault, but now, I don't know if I should even continue to live here. I want to pack up everything and give it all to Stephanie's parents or some charity. I don't want to look at these items anymore."

"You need to think about your daughter," Joey cautioned. "She's not gonna understand. You can't freak her out."

"I know. You're right. I hate this."

"She's with Nancy. Let's take a break. I think the house is fine for Monica."

"I think so, too. I locked up baby aspirin and regular aspirin, just in case."

"I'll move my things out of the guest room."

"You don't have to," Chandler said as they walked into the kitchen. "I'm giving Monica my room. I already moved her things in there. The sofa in the family room pulls out into a bed. I'll sleep there."

"Let me," Joey countered.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not sleeping much these days anyway."

"All the more reason you should be in a real bed."

"It's fine. I want you and Monica to have the bedrooms."

"What time do you have to pick her up?"

"Dr. Hall's going to call me."

"I think the house is ready."

"Yeah, it is. Thanks for your help. I want to finish packing those books. I'm keeping a few for Adrianna. The rest I want out of here. I might do some rearranging in the entryway, too. I'll decide about the other stuff later."

"You're really thinking of packing up everything?"

"Well, not everything. But a lot of it, yeah, I am. I realized, for whatever reason, Stephanie wanted our house to resemble her parents' place. A lot. I don't want that. I guess this is another step in the moving on and getting over it process."

"You gotta do it slowly or you have to make sure your daughter understands what you're doing."

"That's why, for now, I'm getting rid of only the books. I know she needs more time."

* * *

Three hours later, Monica, armed with everything she would need to continue her recovery, entered Chandler's house and was greeted with a warm hug by Joey.

"Is this weird or what?" she asked, realizing she was a bit overwhelmed at being in Chandler's house with Joey.

She knew he had visited, but she'd never thought much about him being there and, now, the two of them were together.

"Kinda, I guess," Joey said. "I'm just happy to see you out of the hospital."

"Why don't you two go into the living room or the kitchen," Chandler said. "Monica, I'm going to put your things in my room."

"Your room? Why? Are we shar…"

"Oh, no. No," he said and Joey chuckled knowingly.

He stopped and looked away when Chandler gave him a warning look.

"Joey's in the guest room. I want you to stay in my room. I'm going to sleep in the family room."

"I offered to give up the room," Joey said before Monica could respond to the new sleeping arrangements, "but Chandler said no."

"Everything is fine," Chandler said. "I'll be right back."

Joey walked with Monica into the kitchen.

"You want anything?"

"Water."

Joey handed Monica a bottle of water and put two more on the table.

"Is Chandler okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Or at least I think he will be. If you go into the family room, don't be surprised to see a bunch of taped up boxes and empty bookshelves."

"Why's that?"

"He decided to give most of the books to Stephanie's parents."

"They wanted her books?"

"To donate, apparently. Also, don't be surprised if you see him packing up other stuff, too. I'm not sure what he's doing with that box and those paintings in the living room."

"Why?" Monica asked, her confusion mounting. "Is he moving?"

"No, but he's not happy with the house. Or what the house reminds him of, I guess."

"And what would that be?"

"Stephanie," he said and gave a sad nod.

"Is this because I found those pills and Adrianna reacted badly?"

"Kinda," Joey admitted. "But it's more than that. I'll let him tell you when he's ready."

"Okay," Chandler said, entering the kitchen and sitting between them. "What are we talking about? How great Monica looks?"

"Yeah," Joey said. "She sure does."

Monica lowered her eyes as she felt her cheeks grow warm. "You guys."

"What?" Chandler asked. "We can't be happy that you're looking healthy and are out of the hospital?"

She looked at both men. "I am happy about that," she admitted. "And that I can walk with relative ease. My back finally feels so much better."

"If only you'd had the procedure in New York," Joey said, shaking his head.

"Let's not talk about that," Monica said, not wanting to be reminded that maybe some, if not all of what she had been dealing with, might have been avoided had she made a different decision.

"Sorry," Joey said.

"You're doing what you need to do," Chandler said. "That's the main thing, right?"

"Right."

"Did you want to call Ross?"

"Maybe later."

She was ready to ask about Adrianna when she heard the front door open.

"Daddy? Uncle Joey?"

"In the kitchen."

The trio heard the voices and then the stomping of feet as Adrianna raced to where the adults were.

"Is Monica here?" she asked, not bothering to notice who was sitting at the table.

Chandler smiled. "She's sitting right there."

"Oh," she said and giggled. "I shouda looked."

"That's all right. Monica is with us again."

"Are you okay?" the young girl asked as she made her way to stand in front of Monica.

"I'm feeling much better."

"Yay," Adrianna said and smiled at her.

"Monica," Chandler said, "I'd like to introduce you to Nancy Wilcox. She's been so great with Adrianna. Nancy, this is a good friend of mine and Joey's from New York, Monica Geller."

They exchanged pleasantries, and then Nancy said she had to leave.

"I'll walk with you," Chandler said.

"You want something to drink?" Joey asked Adrianna.

"I gotta wash my hands," she said and ran to the bathroom the same way she had run into the kitchen.

"She knows only one speed," Joey said and laughed.

"I love that she knew she had to wash her hands," Monica said.

"Somehow, I knew that would make you happy," Joey said.

Monica shook her head. "Am I really that transparent?"

"Only to those who've known you as long as we have," he assured her, patting her hand while she smirked.

* * *

"Thanks for taking such good care of Adrianna," Chandler said to Nancy as they reached the front door. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You know I love watching her," Nancy said. "She's a great kid."

"Thanks. I'm glad she behaves for you. I hope you'll continue to be available to watch her. I might need to call you on short notice."

"That's fine. Are you going back to work next week?"

"I am, and I don't know how much I want to rely on Diane. Not that she's not great because she is, but I would rather call you if that's okay."

"It's fine. I'll be available. Call anytime."

"Thanks, Nancy. I'm relieved."

"Looks like you got a lot going on. Are you redecorating?"

Nancy had noticed the box and then the bare walls and table in the entryway. Chandler had removed two paintings, which now leaned against one wall, and two vases which sat heavily wrapped inside a box in the living room.

"Just thinking about making a few changes," he said.

"Oh. I'm so used to seeing them when I come here. It feels different. But good for you."

"Thanks. I think it's something I need to do."

"Okay. I really have to go, but let me know when you need me."

"I will. Thanks again."

* * *

A few minutes later, Adrianna saw her father in the living room and entered.

"You changed things," she said.

"I did move a few things."

"Why?"

"Your grandparents would like to have your mother's books. I kept some for you that I thought you might like to have. The rest I'm giving to them."

"Oh."

"Is it okay if I do that?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

"I might be making more changes. Maybe put some things away and move other items around. Would that bother you?"

"Is this 'cause of Mommy? Are you mad at her?"

Chandler perched on the arm of the sofa and motioned for his daughter to come to him. He reached down and held her small hands in his much larger ones. She waited expectantly for him to speak.

"No, I'm not mad at her. I'm thinking your mommy needed help like Monica does. I wasn't able to be there for your mom, but I want to help Monica. I don't want to make the same mistakes."

"I wanna help."

"I know. And you have. A lot."

"I'm happy Monica's here," she offered.

Chandler smiled. "Me, too."

"You can move things," Adrianna said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"You won't be upset?"

She shook her head.

"Can I get a hug?" he asked.

She nodded and then laughed when her father scooped her up in his arms and embraced her.

"I love you so much," he told her as she clung to him.

"I know," she said, with all the wisdom of a four-year-old. "I love you, too."

"I'm going to be sleeping in the family room."

He decided to tell her so she wouldn't wonder where he was in case she needed him during the night.

"I gave Monica my room."

"Then I won't run in and scare her," she said and giggled.

"I'm sure Monica would appreciate that," he said, looking at her. "While we're on the subject, I would appreciate it if you didn't do that to me."

"You like it," she said and laughed.

"Is that what you think?" he said, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Yep."

"Well, you couldn't be more wrong," he teased.

"You like it," she said and laughed again.

As he listened to the melodious sound, he realized sometimes he still couldn't believe she was his daughter; and other times, he couldn't remember what his life had been like before she had been born.

"Are you okay?" she asked, when he continued to look at her.

"Yes," he assured her. "I'm fine. We should go back into the kitchen. Joey and Monica will think we're hiding from them, and they'll start frantically looking for us."

She laughed.

"Can I call Emma?" she asked, after Chandler had set her down.

"Monica's going to call Ross. Maybe you can talk to Emma."

"Oh, boy," Adrianna said.

And before Chandler could say anything else, his daughter was off and running to the kitchen to ask Monica if she could talk to Emma. He stood there, shaking his head and laughing to himself.

* * *

"Want to tell me what this is about?" Monica asked Chandler when she saw him heading towards her in the family room after leaving Adrianna, who was sleeping peacefully in her room.

Joey had called a lady he'd met, Christy Tyson, during one of his earlier visits, and she had invited him to her place.

"You don't want to hear about this," he said.

"Then why did I ask?" Monica said, unwilling to let the conversation slide.

"It's your first day out of the hospital. I don't want to drag you into this."

"What if I want to be dragged?" she countered.

"It's complicated, Mon. I really don't want to…"

"What in our lives these past few weeks _hasn't_ been complicated? C'mon, Chandler. Talk to me. Please."

He sighed but decided to sit down on the sofa and motioned for Monica to do the same.

"Is this okay for your back?"

"It's fine. I'll put this throw pillow behind me. I'm good."

"Okay. Here goes. I found out that Stephanie was responsible for the crash that took her life. She was driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She caused the accident, not the other driver, as I had been led to believe and in my, I guess you would call grief-stricken state, I never bothered to investigate any further. That is, until you found those bottles."

"Chandler, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Again. Does Adrianna know?"

"Yes. I didn't want her to find out, but she overheard Joey and me talking. She knows, but I'm not sure how much she really understands. And to be honest, I'm fine if she doesn't understand. But her grandparents? That's a totally different story."

"They knew?"

Chandler nodded. "From the beginning. They did nothing to help their daughter, tried to blame me when I confronted them with what I knew, and then basically told me it was none of my business because they had 'taken care of everything.' Can you believe that?"

"That's horrible. Adrianna doesn't know about that, does she?"

"No, and I told them I wasn't sure I wanted Adrianna to be around them. I honestly don't know what to do."

"That's why you've been packing up things."

"I guess. I'm angry, but I have no outlet for it. I thought if I took action, you know? Did something. Moved things around. But I know that isn't the answer. Packing and moving things are not going to erase the images I have in my head and the anger I feel. I just can't believe how stupid and out of touch I've been. How could I not have known my wife was taking drugs in my own home?"

"Based on my own experience, and I can't believe I just said that, we can be very sneaky and creative. I'm not sure you should blame yourself, Chandler."

"You're being too kind, Mon. My daughter saw her mother popping pills. How could I not have known something was going on?"

He stood from the couch and faced the empty shelves.

"This room was not safe for my daughter, and I had no idea. How is that even possible?"

Monica heard the frustration and sadness or maybe regret in his voice and rose to stand behind him. She rubbed the palm of her hands along his upper arms. He turned to look at her and allowed himself a small smile when he realized she was trying to cheer him up.

"What?" he finally asked.

She shrugged but continued to smile. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Well, if you're serious about packing up or making changes, I can definitely help. I can get you organized. All I need is a label maker, a notebook, and a pen. I can make lists and inventory what's going into the boxes, and then label whatever you want. It would give me something to do. Something to focus on."

"Mon," Chandler said, "I'm not moving."

And then it was as if the proverbial light bulb went off in his head.

Monica saw that he was considering something and asked him about it.

"Maybe that's what I need to do."

"What?" she asked.

"Move. Find another place to live that doesn't come with all the bad memories and the baggage. I can find a place closer to work. Maybe an apartment. Adrianna and I don't need all this space."

"But this is her home," Monica said. "Won't that be too drastic a change for her? And maybe you, too, Chandler, even if you don't think so."

"I won't do it right away," he said. "But I'll put the idea out there. See how Adrianna feels about it. She said she was fine with me changing things around. Maybe it won't be so hard for her."

"I think you're talking about two entirely different things," Monica cautioned.

"I know. I have to be careful, but I really think I need to do this. This house is never going to be the same for me, and it's never going to be what I envisioned for my family when we bought it. I know I have to think about my daughter, but if I am going to make a change, I think this is the time to do it before she gets more settled. She hasn't started school yet, so we can decide where we truly want to live and what will make us happy. I kinda like the idea that maybe we can start over in a new place and that we can decide where we want to live. Adrianna can help me determine her future. I think she'd like that. "

"Well, as long as you're giving this some serious thought, can I throw out a crazy idea?"

"Of course."

"Chandler, why don't you and Adrianna move to New York?"

He laughed and then he realized Monica was serious.

"Of course, because that's not a drastic change."

"Okay, maybe it is," she acknowledged, "but at least Adrianna has been there. Look how excited she was to talk to Emma and how much fun they had on the phone. They could become best friends. You know how much she adores Joey. He would be there whenever she wanted to see him. You don't think she would love that idea?"

"You make some excellent points."

He reached for her hands and held them in his.

"There's another reason to give this some serious consideration," he said and grinned, beginning to warm up to the idea.

"What's that?" she asked, gazing into his electric blue eyes.

"You would be there."

"Yes," Monica said and smiled. "I would definitely be there."

"And if I were there, I could keep an eye on you."

"You know how much I need that," she said, enjoying the playfulness and flirtatious direction their conversation was taking.

"I do," he said, sliding inches closer to her. "You, Monica Elizabeth Geller, need to be watched at all times. By someone like me."

"I most certainly do," she agreed, leaning in closer to him and tilting her head, so ready to feel his lips on hers.

"And," he said, his heartbeat accelerating as he slanted his mouth towards her lips that were now slightly parted, "we could do lots more of this."

Without another word, his lips captured her soft, pliant ones in a sizzling kiss that made them both realize how hard it would be to live 3,000 miles apart. She definitely wanted more of this, and if the reaction she experienced from Chandler was any indication, she knew he felt the exact same way. She knew there was no way she could leave him in a month, and yet, she also knew they weren't the only people involved. But how great would it be if he and his daughter came home? That's how she thought of it, she realized, as he continued to pleasure her mouth and her tongue in ways she had forgotten existed. For her, he would be coming home, and this would be something she could very much look forward to.

"Oh, yeah," Monica said, a bit breathless when their lips finally parted, "that's definitely a great reason for you to move to Manhattan."

Chandler agreed. "Manhattan," he said, when he was able to focus and speak again, "has just shot to the top of the list for places to live."


	20. Chapter 20

Hi! Here is the latest chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for taking the time to read it! :-)

* * *

Chapter 20

"You look nice," Adrianna said to her father, who was wearing a black suit with an open collar white shirt, when he entered the kitchen and said good morning to everyone.

"Thank you," he said and planted a kiss on top of her head. "Are you going to be okay with Joey and Monica while I'm at work?"

She nodded and then returned her attention to the cereal she was eating.

"I appreciate you guys looking after her," Chandler said. "If something comes up, call me. If you need a break, call Nancy. She said she would be available."

"We'll be fine," Joey said. "I'll cover when Monica has her counseling session, and then the three of us will probably do something together."

"We'll have fun," Monica said.

A routine of sorts had been established the past few days with Monica going to her daily counseling sessions and Chandler returning to work. Joey needed to leave in two days, so he wanted to make the most of his remaining time by spending it with them.

* * *

Chandler sat in his office, still trying to catch up on his emails and phone calls, when one of his coworkers Beth knocked on his open door.

"Have a minute?" she asked.

"Sure. These two hundred emails can wait a while longer."

The tall brunette stepped inside the office and closed the door before taking a seat across from Chandler's desk.

"It's been a little crazy while you were gone."

"Apparently. But it's all good. What's up?"

"We need to talk. We probably should've discussed this way before now, but we didn't because of me being afraid to bring it up. But it needs to be said."

The seriousness of Beth's voice brought Chandler to attention. He minimized his email window and moved a few papers so he could fold his hands on the desk and focus on the woman sitting across from him.

"Is this job-related?"

"No. This is about Stephanie."

Chandler sighed inwardly. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yes. I had dinner with her parents the other night. They told me you know what happened the night she died, but you don't have all the facts, Chandler. I need to tell you the rest of the story. You know how close Stephanie and I were."

"BFFs and all that," Chandler said dismissively. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, what you don't know is that Stephanie and I were together the night she died."

"Were you at her parents' house?"

She shook her head. "I saw her after she left. She called me from a bar not too far from my house. She asked me to meet her, so I did. She was a mess, Chandler. I'm sure what her parents did not tell you was she confessed to them that Adrianna had seen her popping sleeping pills. Let me tell you, according to Stephanie, they were livid. They told her she'd better get help and get it soon."

"Why did she go to them? Why the hell didn't she come to me?"

"She couldn't face you, Chandler. In her eyes, you were the saint, and she was the screw-up. She'd gotten into some minor trouble when she was in high school, and she knew her parents would always bail her out. She went to them for their support but, apparently, they didn't give it to her that night. She was devastated. I told her she needed to come clean with you, her husband. That you would understand and help her. She didn't know how to tell you. She thought you would leave her and take Adrianna with you. She knew how much Adrianna loves you and how much you adore your daughter. "

Chandler shook his head. "Did she really have that little faith in me? In us? Did I give her reason to believe I would leave her without trying to help?"

"Because of the circumstances surrounding your marriage, she never felt completely secure. You must've known that. You probably didn't either. She was scared a lot of the time. When she had Adrianna, she thought she would always have her daughter with her if you guys didn't make it. Then, she saw how close you and Adrianna were, and it just made her that much more, for lack of a better word, paranoid. When she realized Adrianna saw her take those pills, she thought for sure she'd blown it."

"Do you know why she started taking pills?"

"She said she was having trouble sleeping and then concentrating here at work. She was consumed with anxiety about things I don't think she even believed would ever happen. But she couldn't control her thoughts. I tried to be her sounding board, but towards the end, I have to admit, I couldn't understand a lot of what she said she was worrying about."

"I still can't believe I did not see any of this."

"When we talked at the bar, Stephanie said you were basically raising Adrianna and, to be honest, I think she was relieved. I think she knew in her current state she was not fit to be a parent. Maybe, on some level, you did know Stephanie was in trouble, but you chose to focus on your daughter."

"I wish she had told me what was going on. We could've worked through it. Adrianna loved and still loves her mother. If nothing else, Stephanie needed to know that."

"I thought she did. When I arrived at the bar, she'd had three drinks. I told her no more. I told her we were going to order some food and that we were going to stay until she was okay to drive or she was going to stay at my place. I didn't know she'd taken pills, too. She said she wanted to get home to you and Adrianna. She promised me she was going to talk to you. I walked her to her car. She got behind the wheel. She seemed okay. We even shared a couple of laughs. She said she was ready to work things out with you. That was how I left her. I don't know if she went back into the bar, if she popped more pills or what happened but, Chandler, I was absolutely devastated when Lorraine called and told me about the accident. I'd had such hope for all of you."

Chandler nodded. "Thanks, Beth. And thanks for telling me more about that night. I appreciate your insight."

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I know this has been such a nightmare for all of you."

"I'm relieved to know more of the truth. I have a couple of tough decisions to make. What I hear makes it easier for me to decide."

"Are you going to let Stephanie's parents see Adrianna? I think they panicked when they learned the truth about the accident. I think they also felt incredibly guilty, knowing their daughter had come to them that night, and they basically turned her away."

"I'm still thinking that one through."

"How is Adrianna?"

"She's okay. I think she's in a good place."

"Lorraine told me your friend Monica is visiting. Was Adrianna okay with the resemblance?"

"It unsettled her at first," Chandler admitted, "but now I think she's fine. She and Monica are forging their own relationship."

"That's nice. I'm happy. For all of you. If there's anything I can do…"

"I'll let you know."

Once Beth left his office, Chandler tried to concentrate on answering emails, but his mind kept wandering. There were two things he needed to do, and he knew he wouldn't have any peace until he'd taken care of both of them.

* * *

"Did Chandler tell you about my idea?" Monica asked Joey as they sat on a park bench and watched Adrianna on the swings and the slide.

"No. What idea?"

"I told him he should think about moving back to Manhattan."

"Really? That'd be great, but isn't that a lot for him and Adrianna to take on?"

"Maybe, but I think he's giving it some serious thought."

"Should I mention it to him? I leave day after tomorrow. If there's a chance he's moving back…"

"Let him tell you. I could be hoping for something that won't happen."

Joey gave Monica a knowing grin. "You want him back in New York, don't you?"

Monica smiled sheepishly. "Would I like it? Sure. Especially now that I've spent this time with him and Adrianna. It's hard to imagine living on separate coasts."

"And being happy?" Joey probed.

"Well, wondering how they're doing and what they're doing. Don't you think it would be easier if they were with us?"

"Sure," Joey said. "I've always wanted that. I hate leaving them. But Chandler's stayed here. I've tried to respect that."

"Maybe between the two of us, we can change that."

Joey grinned. "You would be the difference maker, Mon. Chandler knows how I feel, and I haven't been able to convince him."

"I'm not giving up," Monica stated.

Joey had to admit her steadfast resolve gave him hope.

* * *

Chandler paused before he entered the mausoleum and made his way to Stephanie's crypt. After placing the bouquet of white roses, her favorite flower, in the holder, he ran the pad of his index finger along the cold marble and then shoved his hands inside his pants pockets.

"I know it's been a while," he began, grateful no one else was around. "Things have been kinda hectic. I'm not exactly sure what I hope to accomplish, but I know I need to be here. I've learned a lot about you and about us these past few days, Stephanie, and none of it makes me feel good. I feel like this has all been such a waste. If we had only communicated better, I don't know, made more of an effort, maybe we wouldn't be here. But maybe we wouldn't still be together either. I guess that's one thing I will never know. I'm sorry for my part in all of this. For making you feel insecure or scared, for making you feel that you couldn't come to me. Talk to me. I'm sorry for making you feel like Adrianna was closer to me because that is so not true. She loves you so much, Stephanie. Somehow, if anything, I wish you could know that. She talks about you every day. She looks at your picture all the time. She misses you something fierce. I know there's a hole in her heart where you used to be. I'm just trying to make a life for her. To make sure she knows things are going to be okay even if you are no longer in her life. I know I messed up big time when you were alive, but I promise you I will never let her forget that you were a great mom to her. Because you were. She's the best part of both of us, Stephanie. She will always know that. We have to move on with our lives, but that doesn't mean we forget about you because we never will. I'm making that promise to you right here, right now. You will always be remembered by our daughter for the loving mom you were. Adrianna will always know that you loved her more than anything. Because even when things went wrong, I know you did. We will keep your memory alive. I promise you that."

* * *

When Chandler arrived home, he told Monica and Joey he needed to speak with Adrianna. Alone. They walked into her bedroom and then he closed the door. Adrianna saw the somber expression on her father's face. She didn't like it.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked when he sat next to her on the bed.

"No, you're not in trouble. I just…I need to tell you something that's personal. Just between us."

"Okay."

"I went to visit your mom at the cemetery."

Adrianna squirmed. "Daddy, don't…."

"I know," he said, reaching for her hands. "You don't like it when I talk about visiting your mom, but this is very important. I need you to listen to me."

"Then hold me," she said, reaching for him.

He gathered her into his arms and held her while he talked about his visit.

"Why did you go?" she asked.

"Because I kept finding out things about your mom and about us. I needed to talk to her. You know I haven't been there in a long while. I needed to spend some time with her."

Adrianna nodded even though she didn't like to think about the place where her mother was.

"It helped," he said. "A lot. I'm ready to let go of some things, and I made a promise to your mom that I intend to keep. We will always keep her memory alive, Adrianna. I will never let you forget that your mother loved you very much. Despite everything that's happened, your mother loved you. I don't ever want you to forget that. I won't let you forget that."

She nodded and then tightly hugged her father.

"We both love you so much," Chandler said. "I don't want you to ever have any doubts about that."

"'kay."

He pulled her back and saw her blue eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"I miss Mommy so much."

"I know you do. I told her that. I told her if there was one thing I wished she knew, it was how much you love and miss her. Every day. It's okay, Adrianna. It's okay to miss your mom and to tell me that you do."

She nodded and then hugged him again.

"I have something else I want to talk with you about. Can you sit on my lap so I can see your face?"

After wiping her eyes, she turned and sat sideways so she was facing her father.

"When I said I was ready to let some things go?"

She nodded.

"Well, one of the things I was thinking about is this house."

"We're gonna leave?" she asked, not understanding.

"Only if we both agree."

"Where we gonna go?" she asked, her stomach starting to feel achy.

"What would you think if we moved to Manhattan where Uncle Joey and Monica and Emma live?"

Her eyes lit up. "Really? For reals?"

Chandler laughed. "Okay. Yes, for reals."

"Wow. Like I can see Uncle Joey all the time and play with Emma?"

"Sure. Why not."

"And you'll be with Monica?"

"Well, Monica will be there, and we will be there."

"Do they know?"

"No. I wanted to talk with you about this first. I talked to my boss, and he's agreeable to letting me transfer back to New York. Joey is leaving, so I wanted to talk about this before he left."

She looked around her beautifully furnished and decorated bedroom.

"I like it here," she said, "but it's okay if we leave."

"Honestly okay?"

She crossed her heart. "Honestly okay."

"We have a lot of work to do."

"I know," she said, sounding suspiciously like Monica. "We hafta tell Uncle Joey and Monica."

And with that, she scrambled from her father's lap and ran to find Joey and Monica to tell them the big news.


	21. Chapter 21

Hi! I thank you all very much for your continued support of my story. I hope you enjoy the chapter! :-)

* * *

Chapter 21

"Is it true?" Joey asked Chandler when he caught up with them in the kitchen. "You're really going to move back to New York?"

"It looks that way," Chandler said.

"Told you," Adrianna said and gave him an impish grin.

"I think it's great," Joey said.

"I do, too," Monica said. "And now I really need a label maker and some markers and boxes and bubble wrap…"

"Whoa, whoa, Mon, calm down. I need to go through a lot of this stuff, and then my company will hire professional packers and movers to take what we want. I don't want you doing anything strenuous."

"Strenuous?" she said, barely able to control her happiness at the thought of them moving to the East Coast. "Are you kidding? I plan to supervise!"

Chandler shook his head and laughed.

"Kinda sorry I won't be here for that," Joey said, rolling his eyes.

Monica playfully punched his arm; Adrianna laughed.

"Is there anything I can do when I get home?" Joey asked.

"I don't think so. My work will pay for us to stay at a hotel until I find a place to live, which I know could take a while."

"A hotel? You don't wanna stay at a hotel."

"We'll have to. At least for a little while."

"Not necessarily," Joey said with a twinkle in his dark eyes. "Your old room is available."

"That apartment is not big enough for the three of us."

"Rachel and Emma lived there."

"Emma was a baby. Adrianna needs a lot more space."

Monica coughed to get their attention.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked.

"What?"

"I have an extra bedroom, too."

"That's perfect," Joey said. "You can stay with me, and Adrianna can stay with Monica."

"I don't know," Chandler said. "Adrianna, what do you think? We would be right across the hall from each other, and I guess it would mostly be for sleeping and having a place to put your things."

"I can watch her until I go back to work," Monica offered.

"That's another thing," Chandler said. "I have to find daycare or a preschool for her."

"Rachel can tell you all about that. She loved the preschool Emma went to. Emma liked it, too, and it's in the area."

"I'm around a lot, too, and can help," Joey said. "I think this could work."

"I'm okay with it if my daughter is. Adrianna, what do you think?"

"Let's be with Uncle Joey and Monica," she said.

"Are you sure?" Chandler asked.

She nodded.

"Okay," he said. "I guess that's settled."

Joey and Monica high-fived each other while Chandler and Adrianna looked on.

"Hey," Joey said. "You guys have to learn to do that if you're gonna be livin' with us."

"That's right," Monica said. "You might as well get used to it. Starting now."

* * *

Saying good-bye to Joey at the airport wasn't nearly as emotional as it had been the previous times. Knowing they were going to see each other in a few weeks made the farewell more lighthearted. The fact that Christy showed up to say good-bye to Joey and that he didn't seem surprised by it added to the relaxed mood. Afterward, the trio stopped at a kid-friendly restaurant to eat dinner.

"When do we go?" Adrianna asked her father after they had ordered their dinner.

"To New York?"

"Yeah."

"Not for a few weeks. I have a lot of things to take care of."

"I'm going to help," Monica informed them.

"I appreciate that," Chandler said and smiled.

"Can I tell Emma?" Adrianna asked.

"Yes. Maybe we'll call this weekend."

"Oh, boy!"

Chandler noticed a subtle change in Monica's otherwise cheerful demeanor at the mention of Emma. He made a mental note to ask her about it when they were alone.

While Adrianna munched on chicken nuggets and slices of apples, Chandler and Monica enjoyed their more adult meal.

"You'll have to start telling me what you like to eat," Monica said to Adrianna. "I'll make a list, and then I'll know what to cook for you while you're staying with me."

"Monica," Chandler said, grateful for the offer but not wanting to put undue pressure on her, "I don't expect you to cook for my daughter."

"Why not?" she asked, trying not to be offended. "You know how much pleasure it gives me."

"Yes, but I don't want you to think you have to take care of her that way."

"What if I want to?" she retorted. "Adrianna, you have not eaten spaghetti until you've tasted it with my homemade sauce. I can create any kind of soup you like or casserole or even macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up in it."

Adrianna giggled as she looked at her father and then back to Monica. "You know about that?"

"I most certainly do," Monica said, her blue eyes dancing mischievously.

"Okay, okay," Chandler said and grinned in spite of himself. "I'll give you that one. But that doesn't mean…"

"Would you leave the menu planning to me?" Monica said. "I want to do this, Chandler. Please?"

He shook his head, but he knew she had won the battle. "You're amazing, do you know that?"

"That's sweet of you to say. I haven't been for a while, but I'm trying."

"I think you're doing great."

"I wish everyone did."

There was that look of sadness again. He was definitely going to talk to her about that.

While they lingered over coffee and Adrianna took her time finishing her milk, an elderly couple approached their table.

"We don't mean to intrude," the wife said, "but we couldn't help but notice how well-behaved your daughter is."

"Thank you," Chandler said, giving Adrianna an encouraging smile.

"You see all these rug rats running around, making noise," the husband added.

They actually hadn't until the man mentioned it.

"We know this restaurant is known for catering to children of all ages. We wouldn't come here except we really enjoy the pot pies."

"And the apple pie," the husband added with a chuckle.

Monica and Chandler laughed.

"We won't bother you anymore," the wife said. "We just wanted to tell you how refreshing it is to see such a wonderful family enjoying a dinner together. It's so rare nowadays."

"Oh, we're not a…" Chandler began and then stopped when he saw how Monica's face lit up at the compliment.

"Thank you," he said instead.

"We made fifty years," the wife added. "We wish you lovely people the same. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Monica said, the smile never leaving her face.

* * *

As soon as they hit the road, Adrianna fell asleep in her car seat and did not wake up even when Chandler got her ready for bed and laid her down.

"I think she's out for the night," he told Monica when he spotted her in the almost barren family room. "Why are we in here?"

"Returning to the scene of the crime?" she said, with a humorless laugh.

He gave her a quizzical look. "I don't understand."

"A lot has been revealed because of what happened in this room," she said.

"That's true. I noticed a hint of sadness or something like it on your face when Adrianna mentioned Emma. Did something happen?"

"I called home today. I talked to Ross and Rachel and my parents. They were very taxing conversations, and yet I felt a little homesick when I heard their voices."

"It's probably going to take me more than three weeks to make this move. I know you can do whatever you want after thirty days. If you want to return to New York, I completely understand."

"No," Monica said, her voice a bit too shrill even to her own ears. "No, that's not what I want. At all. What I wanted to say was thank you for making this so easy for me. New York is going to be hard. I know that. But being here with you and Adrianna and Joey has been great. I know I'm probably hiding from reality, but that's okay for now. Right? Like tonight. We were just eating a meal and look at the compliment we received. Chandler, we weren't even trying. We were just being us, and it works. At least for me. I want easy right now. I need easy. And I think you do, too. Please don't send me away. I want to be here. I need to be here. I want to help. I really do. And I may need you to return the favor once we arrive in Manhattan."

"Monica," he said, drawing her into the circle of his strong arms, "you know I'll help you any way I can. I'm sorry today was rough for you."

"I know I've messed up big time," she said, laying her head against his chest, "and I don't expect instant forgiveness. I don't. But a little, just a little, understanding would go a long way towards helping me. Is that too much to ask from my own family?"

"Of course not. Mon, you're trembling. Are you okay?"

"Not really," she admitted. "I'm feeling anxious and jittery like I did when I was taking the pills. My counselor warned me this could happen."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Hold me," she said, snuggling closer to him.

He held her and rubbed her back as he tried to help her calm down.

"Now, I'm getting a headache," she said. "I haven't felt this way since I was desperate to take those pills I found in here."

"Is it this room?" he asked. "Let's go to another part of the house."

She sighed. "Unfortunately, I think it's more than just being in this room. I feel like I'm having a mild but very real panic attack."

"Do you need to call or see someone?"

She looked up at Chandler and nodded.

"Yeah, I do. My counselor said I shouldn't go through something like this alone. I think I need to call my sponsor."

"Do whatever you need to. I hope your sponsor can help."

"Thanks. Me, too."

Reluctantly, she left the warmth and security of Chandler's arms and made her way into his bedroom. She closed the door and then retrieved her cell phone from her purse and pushed the number for her sponsor.

"Hi," she said, her voice a bit shaky. "It's Monica. I really need to talk to you. I think I'm having a mild but kinda scary panic attack. I'm experiencing the same symptoms I had when I was taking the drugs. This hasn't happened since I went through withdrawal. It's starting to freak me out. Can you help me? Please?"

"Take a deep breath, Monica. Are you sitting down?"

"I am now," she said, after sitting on the bedspread. "Oh, man, my heart is beating so fast."

"Don't talk. Just concentrate on your breathing. Find something to focus on and breathe."

Monica focused on the digital clock with the green numbers on the nightstand as she tried to get her heart rate under control.

"Keep taking deep breaths," the soothing female voice coached her.

Monica did as instructed and finally felt herself starting to relax.

"Your breathing sounds less labored. How do you feel?"

"Better," Monica said, the heaviness in her chest dissipating.

"Is someone with you?"

"Chandler is in the house, but I'm alone in the bedroom with the door closed. I thought this needed to be anonymous. Is that okay?"

"If you're okay with it, that's fine, but I'm glad you're not there by yourself. How's your breathing?"

"Better. My headache is starting to ease up, too."

"Good. Whenever you feel like talking, tell me what you think might have triggered this episode."

"I think…I think it's because I talked to my parents today, and then I told Chandler about it. Maybe I wasn't ready, but I thought I was. It was especially hard to talk to my mom, but I thought I should check in with them since I'd been putting the burden on my brother to keep them informed about my progress."

"You felt guilty? That's why you called them?"

"Yes," Monica said, looking up at the ceiling. "I…I guess so."

"We haven't talked much about guilt. Have you discussed it with your counselor?"

"Some. I guess we'll be talking more about it?"

"You guessed right. Guilt is a powerful emotion, Monica. I think you need to bring this up at your next session."

"Okay. I will."

"Do we need to meet?"

"I think I'm okay. I'm calmer and my physical symptoms aren't so bad."

"Call me anytime, and call me if we need to meet again after your next session like we did the last one. I'm available for you, Monica. I want you to know that."

"I do, and I appreciate that. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is it okay if we talk about being at the airport earlier?"

"Yes," Christy said. "I wanted to mention it, but I wanted to make sure you were okay first. Your well-being is my top priority."

"Okay, so how did you manage to keep a straight face when we saw each other? I almost screamed when I saw you with Joey. Is this too weird for you?"

"No. I had a feeling the Monica Joey's been telling me about was you," Christy said. "Seeing you at the airport just confirmed what I'd already suspected. Is it too weird for you? You can always ask for another sponsor. I'll understand."

"I don't know why, but I did not connect the name. At all. And you are great. I don't want to change sponsors. But how crazy is this?"

"Very. And you know neither of us can say anything to Joey or Chandler for that matter."

"That's what I figured. Can I ask does Joey know about your past?"

"No. We've been pretty casual, but this time when he told me he was leaving, I don't know. I realized I was really going to miss him. He's a great guy. A little slow at times, but so funny and well, adorable. That's why I went to the airport. I needed to see him one more time."

"That's so sweet."

"We'll see what happens. I guess if we continue a long-distance relationship, I'll have to tell him that I'm a recovering addict. But I know we're not there yet. You sound better. How do you feel?"

"Much better. I'm not shaking, and I think the craving has passed. I hope this doesn't happen a lot."

"Each person is different, Monica, but this could happen to you again. And again. Sometimes, you may not even know why, but if you can identify the suspected cause, it helps."

Monica sighed. "Just something else for me to get used to."

"It's a day by day battle, Monica. I won't lie to you."

"I get it. I think. Thanks, Christy. You've been wonderful, as usual. I think I'm going to curl up on this comfortable bed and take a little nap."

"Sometimes that's the best thing to do. Maybe treat yourself to a bubble bath and a nice cup of hot tea. Those types of things really do work to soothe your body. Not to mention your mind and soul."

"Spoken like someone who's been there."

"Believe me, I have. Many times."

"I'll take your advice. Thanks again."

"You're welcome. Hope you continue to feel better. But call if you need to. Anytime."

Once the conversation ended, Monica stretched out on top of the bed and let her mind wander. She just wanted a few moments of respite. For the first time, when she had been focusing on the clock radio, she realized she had been staring at a clock that had probably been used by Chandler and Stephanie to wake them up every morning and that the bed she now laid on had been theirs. She had been so relieved to be out of the hospital that she hadn't fully comprehended what it meant when Chandler told her she would be in his room. But now she was thinking about it. And it made her feel uneasy. She wanted to get up and tell Chandler she would move back into the guest room, but the mattress was so comfortable. Her back felt so supported. Just a few more minutes to rest. That's all she needed. She was exhausted, but she would get up. Except she could barely keep her eyes open. Just one more minute, and then she would find Chandler. Just one more minute….

* * *

An hour later, Chandler stood outside his bedroom door. He wanted to give Monica her privacy, but he also wanted to make sure she was all right. He saw light streaming under the door. He softly knocked and when he didn't hear a response, he opened the door slightly and peeked inside. What he saw made him do a double-take. For a second, for a very brief but real second, he saw Stephanie curled up on their bed, sound asleep. The image rooted him to the spot for several heart-pounding moments and then he told himself to get it together. That was not Stephanie lying there; that was Monica. She was sleeping peacefully and needed to be covered with a blanket.

He tiptoed to the bed and placed the blanket he found over her slender form. He whispered goodnight and gently kissed her soft hair before leaving the room the same way he had entered it.

Once he had silently closed the door, he leaned back against the wall and exhaled a ragged breath.

Oh, yeah, he thought, as he tried to erase the vision of Stephanie lying on that bed, it is definitely time to leave this house.


	22. Chapter 22

Hi! Thank you to all who have taken the time to read, review, favorite and follow this story. I appreciate every single one of you very much! You are the ones who are keeping this story going. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! :-)

* * *

Chapter 22

The next two weeks passed quickly for Chandler and Monica as he sorted through items and Monica made lists and labels. Inventory had been completed in the living, dining, and family rooms. Now, Chandler and Monica stood in the kitchen.

"I'm not sure how many of these appliances I want," Chandler said.

"Would it be okay if I took them?" she asked, her voice tentative.

Chandler looked at her. "You want all of these? You don't have that much room."

"I know, but they're so great and practically brand new. Maybe someday I'll have a kitchen like this one, and then I can really do some creative cooking and baking. You're going to have some things in storage, right?"

"Yes."

"Can these be part of that?"

"You really want all of these gadgets?"

"I really do."

"Then consider them yours. Make your list or whatever it is you're doing with that pad and pen, and add everything in the kitchen is to be packed and shipped."

"Thank you," she said, clearly excited at the prospect of having almost the entire kitchen at her disposal, hopefully sometime in her future. "You've just made me one very happy chef."

Chandler laughed. "If that's all it takes, I'm good."

Monica sat down and began writing.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I think I stood too long, but I'm fine. I'm just gonna sit here and take my time with the list. I want to make sure nothing gets left behind like that awesome mixer and blender."

"Okay. While you're doing that, I'm going to start looking through things in my room. I've sorta been dreading it, but I know it has to be done."

"Let me know if you need help."

"You, too."

* * *

Chandler entered his bedroom and decided to start with the dresser drawers. He knew there were still some things of his late wife's that he had been keeping. With Monica's help, he'd packed a few boxes of things he wanted Stephanie's parents to take. He found some more items to add to the boxes. As he was finishing the last drawer, a pink printed flower gift bag caught his eye. He removed it and saw a card leaning against a purple envelope, light pink tissue and a jeweler's box. Curious, he sat down on the mattress and pulled out the box. He recognized the name of the local jewelry store. He lifted the lid, removed the layer of cotton and saw a dainty but beautiful gold locket on a matching chain. He opened it and saw that one side had a photo of the three of them when Adrianna was a few days old. The other side was empty. He closed the locket and turned it over to read the inscription: "We love you, Adrianna. Happy Sweet 16. Mom and Dad."

He did not remember Stephanie telling him about this.

He pulled out the card and envelope and saw that Stephanie had already written her meaningful and heartfelt message on the birthday card. How strange was this? He put everything back in the gift bag and walked into the kitchen to show Monica.

"You'll never believe what I found in one of the dresser drawers."

He placed the bag on the table.

"This?" Monica asked, pointing to the bag.

"Yes. It's Adrianna's sixteenth birthday present from Stephanie and me. Only I don't remember anything about it. Don't you think that's weird?"

Monica smiled. "I think it's great. How nice that your daughter will have something from her mother when she turns sixteen."

"But who does that?" Chandler asked. "I mean seriously. "

Monica shrugged. "Maybe she saw something and knew she wanted Adrianna to have it."

"She even wrote the card!"

"Maybe she was in the moment, Chandler. This is not so weird. We women do things like this sometimes. I think it's going to be very special for Adrianna to have this from her mom, especially considering what happened to her."

"I think it's bizarre, but okay, whatever."

"Keep it in a safe place. You should take it with you. Don't leave it here for the packers."

"Sure. No problem. Then, I just have to remember where it is in twelve years!"

Monica laughed. "Why is this upsetting you so much?"

"I don't know," he said, running a hand through his hair. "It's just strange. So many things are just so strange."

"I'll share something with you, and you tell me if you think it's strange."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I've known what I wanted to name my children since I was fourteen. Who does that?"

Chandler gave her a tender look. "Joey told me about the whole Emma thing. I thought it was very nice of you to let Rachel have the name you had wanted for so long. Okay, I guess that is a little strange, but still…."

"Be thankful, Chandler. Be thankful Stephanie was thinking about her daughter and her future. I would've loved it if I'd known my parents, especially my mom, were thinking about me that far in advance. And for a special day like my sixteenth birthday? Trust me. This is going to be something that Adrianna will never forget and will always treasure. You'll remember where you put the gift. You want to know how I know that?"

"How?"

"Because you love her that much. You won't forget. And she will love opening that present."

"I know I keep saying this, but it's true. You are amazing."

The sound of voices in the entryway stopped their conversation. Chandler quickly returned to his room to hide the present while Nancy and Adrianna found Monica in the kitchen.

"Hey, you two. How was the movie?"

"Funny," Adrianna said.

"And cute," Nancy added. "Can't go wrong with Pixar these days."

"That's true."

"Did you guys get a lot done?"

"We made a lot of progress."

"Good. I can't believe Chandler is going to let me and my friends live here. We will have so much more room than the cramped apartments we're living in. And the rent won't be that much more when we divide it. We're really excited to move in."

"I think you're doing him a favor, too. I don't think he wanted the hassle of having to list the house. This way seems to work for all of you."

"We'll take good care of the place. I already told my friends this is a great house and we need to respect that and our landlord."

"You sound very responsible. I'm sure Chandler appreciates that."

"I'm going to miss you guys, though. What am I gonna do without this little one to keep me company and make me laugh?"

"I'm gonna miss you," Adrianna said.

"We need to have one more get together with a few of your closest friends and neighbors so we can say a proper good-bye. Will there be time?"

"I don't know," Monica said. "You'll have to ask Chandler about that."

"Ask me about what?" he said, as he joined them in the kitchen.

"I was telling Monica how thrilled my friends and I are that you're letting us live here."

"You're doing me a favor, too, so I guess it's what they call a win-win."

"Do you think there'll be time to have some kind of a get-together to say good-bye? I'm really going to miss all of you. I thought maybe I could plan something with a few of Adrianna's friends and a couple of the neighbors that I know you guys have been close friends with. Maybe next weekend?"

"Actually, I was going to tell Adrianna her grandparents called earlier. I told them we're planning to move to New York soon. They were sad to hear the news, but they understood why I'm doing this. They mentioned wanting to see her one more time, which I agreed to. They talked about taking Adrianna to the pumpkin patch they have every year down the coast. Maybe, if you want, you could arrange the get-together and go with them. What do you think?"

"That sounds like fun," Nancy said. "What do you think, Adrianna?"

"I wanna go."

"But will they be upset that we're intruding on their time with Adrianna?"

"They'll just have to understand. I'll explain it to them. Don't you worry about that. I think this will work out just fine. Adrianna, they also want you to spend the night with them. I think everyone who wants to should come back here and have a sleepover. Would that work for you, Nancy?"

"That would be great. We'd have lots of time to have fun."

Chandler nodded. "I think so, too."

"They asked nicely, so I did tell them I wouldn't be present. But I'll be available by phone if you need me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Are you all right with this?" he asked his daughter.

She nodded.

"Excellent. I'll call and give them the good news."

Chandler left the room; Monica followed him.

"You're really messing up their plans," she said and tried to hide an amused smile.

"I know," he said and allowed himself a triumphant grin. "Actually, they're lucky I agreed to this much. I told them I was doing this because Adrianna said she wanted to see them before we left, but after this; if they want to see her, they are going to have to fly to New York, and the visits will most definitely be supervised. Besides, they need to pick up all their boxes."

"I totally get why you're doing what you're doing."

And then she grinned. "Don't have too much fun telling them about the change in plans."

"You are more than welcome to stay and join in the fun."

And so Monica did.

* * *

The morning of the get-together Nancy politely asked Monica and Chandler if they could leave so she could get the house ready for the festivities, including the sleepover.

"This will give me a chance to see what it's going to be like to live here."

"Okay. We'll be back in an hour or so. Does that work?"

"That's great. Thanks, guys."

"What should we do?" Chandler asked Monica before they left the house.

"Let's go for a walk. The doctor said walking is good for my back."

"You'd better grab a jacket. The sun is out, but it's not that warm."

Once they hit the pavement, Monica felt the chill in the air. Autumn had arrived.

"I love this time of year," she said wistfully, as they walked companionably on the streets of the quiet, tree-lined neighborhood. "Although, you don't have the change of seasons like we do."

"I know. That's another thing Adrianna's going to have to get used to. Cold winters and hot, humid summers."

"She'll adjust, right?"

"I'm sure she will, but she is a California girl. She gets more excited by the day, though. I hope she enjoys the pumpkin patch and the sleepover with her friends and grandparents. Joey and Emma and Rachel are all she talks about. I want her to remember these times fondly, too."

"She will."

They walked a few more blocks until they arrived at the neighborhood park. She couldn't explain it if she'd tried, but Monica suddenly felt daring. And giddy. Like a kid without a care in the world.

"Joey and I were here with Adrianna," she said, her eyes dancing wickedly. "You want me to push you on the swing, big guy?"

Chandler looked at her strangely and then shook his head. "I don't think so. You want me to push you, little lady?"

"No," she said and squealed when he reached out to grab her around the waist.

She skillfully sidestepped him and thought she had managed to escape unscathed, but he was too quick for her. In one catlike motion, he caught the bottom of her jacket and was able to position himself so he was facing her. They stood mere inches apart. Her ivory cheeks had a reddish-pink hue and looked healthy from being in the brisk air, and her eyes sparkled like the precious gem color they were. The sun shining down on her silky dark hair made her look almost angelic. Her breath came in short gasps and all thoughts of the swings left her as she gazed into Chandler's eyes as blue as the sky above them. Oh, how she wanted this man.

When she felt him wrap his arms around her, she immediately melded into him. She had come to love the feel of their bodies pressed against each other and the warmth they exuded. When he gently pushed several long strands of hair away from her face so he could have a clearer view, she knew, without a doubt, he was going to kiss her.

After a quick glance to make sure no one was watching, she initiated a wanton kiss that caused both of them to forget they were in a very public place. Monica had started it, but she knew the instant Chandler took control to set the pace. She matched him as she leaned in to feel closer to him. She could not get enough of his lips on hers and when he hungrily demanded more of her, she wanted to cry out from pure but sweet tortuous pleasure. He nearly drove her to the edge and then brought her back. Each time they kissed it was as though they were conveying their wants and their desires and their needs. She never wanted his kisses to end and when they did, it only made her ache more as she waited impatiently for the next one.

"Don't," she whispered into his neck, her heart thumping loudly against her chest when she felt him pulling back.

She could not and would not let him go. Not this time.

She held on to him as if he were her lifeline, which she knew, in some very real ways, he was. She looked up at him with unmasked want and desire in her beautiful expressive eyes. See me for who I am, her mind cried. See how much I want you and need you. Love me, she silently begged. Please love me. After drinking in the glorious sight of him, her smile grew wide when she realized his handsome face mirrored hers.

"You can't let me go, either, can you?" she asked, needing to hear his answer but knowing in her heart what he was going to say, no matter how he chose to say it.

Her heart knew. And she knew his did, too. There would be no denying it. Not this time.

"You're right, I can't," Chandler said, when he was able to speak coherently. "And I don't want to. I love you, Monica. I love you so damn much, it hurts. You mean everything to me. You make me feel things I never knew I could. I've rehearsed this moment in my head a hundred times, and yet, on a brisk Saturday morning in a neighborhood park, I'm telling you that I love you and I need you and I never want to let you go, and those are the most honest words I've spoken in a very long time. I love you, Monica Geller. I love you with everything I am capable of being. I'm not sure that's saying much, but there it is."

She placed her tapered index finger to his very kissable lips and shook her head.

"Nothing negative. I won't allow it. And now, it's my turn. I love you, Chandler Bing. I love _you_ so much; it's physically scared me at times. I wanted to protect myself and my heart at all costs. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to allow myself to trust again. But you? You managed to break down all of my barriers. And you did it so easily; I didn't have a chance to resist. Or maybe I just didn't want to. I think that's what scared me the most. But now. Now, I just want to love you and be loved by you. You told me you love me. I am in heaven. This is the best day of my life! And it's all because of you. I love you so much. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop saying that."

Tears of happiness, mixed with joyous laughter, consumed her.

"No tears," he said, even as his voice was thick with emotion. "Let's just enjoy this revelation and each other. It's a beautiful day."

"Made more beautiful by our love," Monica said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close for another smoldering hot kiss.

"We need to celebrate this the right way," he said, a few minutes later. "I just realized that you and I have never been to San Francisco together. Let's make a day and night of it. We can do whatever touristy things you want, and then we can dine at the Top of the Mark and spend the night at the Mark Hopkins Hotel. What do you say?"

"I say what are we waiting for? We've got places to go and things to do and one unforgettable night to celebrate all that is good and right in our lives. What more could a woman in love ask for?"

"You'd better hold on to me," he said and treated her to a cheeky grin.

"Why?"

"Because, my lovely lady, I don't believe your feet are touching the ground."

"They're not," Monica said and laughed. "And you wanna know something else?"

"What?" he asked, enjoying the glow his declaration of love had given to her beautiful features.

He knew he would never tire of looking at her, in good times or in bad.

"If I stay this happy, they may never touch the ground again!"

"Think of all the money you'll save not having to buy shoes," he said.

And then they both laughed, and it felt absolutely wonderful and right. Monica and Chandler, basking in their newfound love, shared a tender kiss to seal what they knew was only the beginning of good things to come.


	23. Chapter 23

Hi! Thank you for all the positive feedback and great reviews for the previous chapter. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I changed the rating to M because this chapter is a love/sex scene between Monica and Chandler, including adult consensual mild spanking scenes. Thanks, as always, for reading! :-)

* * *

Chapter 23

Monica and Chandler enjoyed a fun-filled, sightseeing-crazed day in San Francisco. Monica even managed to shop in a couple of upscale stores in Union Square. She'd decided she wanted to buy a new dress for their romantic dinner and something sexy to wear later that night when they would be alone in the hotel room. She wished Rachel could have been with her to help her select just the right items. She thought about calling her but decided she wasn't ready to share her news just yet. She and Chandler were still enjoying the "newness" of their relationship.

"Monica, you look…positively stunning," Chandler said, when she turned around in their hotel room to face him, and he saw she was wearing a deep purple, form-fitting cocktail dress that showed just enough cleavage and leg to quicken his pulse and yet make him have to use his imagination to figure out what truly waited for him behind the fabric.

She smiled softly. "Thank you. May I say how handsome you look in your blue suit?"

"You may," he said and winked at her.

"If I do say so myself, we make a striking couple."

He pulled her close and kissed her full on the mouth.

"Because that's what we are now," he confirmed. "A couple."

She ran the palms of her hands along his back, looked up at him and smiled. "I love that word."

"Me, too," he said and ravished her already slightly swollen lips one more time before she reapplied plum-colored lipstick and they made their way to the Top of the Mark.

They simultaneously realized this was their first official date; and while they both appreciated the ambiance and the excitement of viewing the sights of San Francisco on a clear night from an intimate table for two, they both couldn't stop thinking about what waited for them when they returned to their room.

"Do you want to listen to the music?" Chandler felt obliged to ask once their savory meal had been consumed.

Monica shook her head. "Not really. You?"

"Nah." He winked at her conspiratorially. "You wanna go back to the room?"

She grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

Upon entering their suite, Monica gasped with delight when she saw that seven vases filled with bouquets of red roses had been strategically placed throughout the room, along with candles, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and a bottle of the hotel's finest champagne chilling in the bucket.

"Chandler!" she exclaimed with happiness. "You are so sweet and thoughtful. I love it!"

He gave her a winsome smile. "I wanted this night to be…you know…special."

She looked at him with want in her blue eyes. "It will be. Because we are together."

"I love you," he said, embracing and holding her close.

She knew she would treasure each and every time he said those three magical words.

"I love you, too."

"Shall we partake?"

She smiled slyly. "You get everything ready. I need to change into something more…comfortable."

Chandler watched with appreciation and anticipation as his raven-haired lady sauntered her way into the bathroom and quickly closed the door. After removing his silk tie, he lit the candles, popped the cork on the champagne bottle and poured the bubbly liquid into two flutes. When he heard the click of the door letting him know Monica was about to enter the room, he reached for the goblets and held one in each hand, ready to give one to her so they could toast to their love.

But when his blue-eyed beauty leaned against the door frame, dressed in nothing but a bright red satin teddy, the glasses almost slipped from his hands.

"Oh, my…"

She smiled when she realized his voice had caught and his eyes were as wide as saucers.

"You like?" she asked, her voice velvety as she took her time sidling up to him.

He nodded. He knew he couldn't speak a coherent word if she bet him.

"Have I rendered you speechless?" she teased coquettishly, the pad of her index finger trailing his jaw line and making its way to his lower lip.

He simply nodded again and handed her a flute.

"Make a toast," she said, one hand languishing on his shoulder and the other holding up her glass next to his.

She needed to be touching him. She loved him so much.

"To us," he said quickly and swallowed half of the champagne from his glass.

Maybe it would help.

Monica laughed as she twirled her goblet. "The bubbles are tickling my nose."

She waited for his response and couldn't have been more thrilled when he started to undo the top two buttons of his shirt. She knew she was making him hot. Her hand on his ceased the activity.

"Let me," she said and crooked her finger to motion him towards the bed.

Chandler wasn't sure he was able to walk, but he somehow managed to follow her lead.

She placed both glasses on the nearby nightstand and then gently but firmly pushed him back onto the soft mattress. The blankets had been turned down by the maid and a wrapped chocolate lay on each of their pillows. With eyes only for each other, Monica straddled a surprised but acquiescent Chandler, which caused his body to convulse with excitement and need as he drank in the beautiful sight of her sitting on top of him, especially when she began kissing him with wild abandon. In his desirous state, he immediately responded and with a surprise move of his own that caused her to start to protest and then grin instead, he snaked his hands around her back to cup her well-rounded backside, which was stretched almost to the limit against the satin fabric. Before she could stop him but not before she emitted a small cry of shock and then realized she wanted to experience what he had in mind for her, he deftly lifted her bottom so his hands could greet her cheeks properly by giving them a gentle, loving squeeze. He smiled as she looked back at his hands and found them planted squarely and unapologetically on her pert behind, and then he watched with unmasked pleasure as she closed her eyes, pursed her very kissable lips, and moaned softly after involuntarily sliding and squirming against his lap, which did unspeakable things to this insides, when he lowered her to him and then applied an affectionate but very real spank to each cheek, an action which managed to arouse both of them.

"Chandler," she whispered, continuing to feel the effect, through her garment, of his palm on her unsuspecting bottom and not wanting the mild throbbing sensation to end.

She writhed against him with desire even when she knew he had finished.

Her insides had turned to mush. She couldn't be any hotter for this man. What was he doing to her? She almost asked for another, just so she could feel his powerful hand on a very intimate and delicate part of her body that now excited her, but instead she opened her eyes and looked at him with lust as she formulated her own plan.

"You bad boy. As soon as I felt your hands back there, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist playing with the merchandise," she said, wagging her finger and trying to scold but not really minding the loving but slightly stinging strokes he had administered to her covered and padded rear.

Even though she hadn't thought of it, she had to admit she rather enjoyed her lover's bold move and the skill he used to accomplish his feat. She loved to be kept guessing. That was the fun of the first time. Things would be unexpected and new. She began to sense she would never be bored with Chandler. And she knew that he knew she would have her turn. And there was nothing he could do about it. That thought exhilarated her.

While enjoying the sensation of her shapely bottom as it rested in the palms his strong hands, he pulled her down. With her taut body on his, her bare and shapely legs and feet in the air while bent at the knees and the sweet scent of her perfume as it wafted towards him only adding to his pleasure, he continued his mastery of her backside, its tender undersides, and the backs of her thighs. He couldn't get enough of touching her smooth skin in places where he thought she least expected it; and when she shivered and moaned and ordered him not to stop each time he ignited a new part of her, he felt immense satisfaction. As he continued to play her like a finely tuned instrument that had been created just for him, she buried her face in the fabric of his shirt as she continued to enjoy his explorations, even if they were sometimes wayward. She knew she could get him back on track any time she wanted to. She pressed against him and seductively wound her way closer to him, needing to feel his hot-white skin against hers. He smiled when he heard her cries of delight as she took the lead and dug his hands deeper into her aching-with-need but willing flesh, letting him have his way with any part of her body he desired. She was a vixen, of that he had no doubt. They kissed and teased and stoked the fires until both were panting and writhing from elation and yearning. Seeing how well they fit made them realize how good this was going to be.

When Chandler rolled her onto her back and began threading his fingers through her dark tresses and pushing her deeper into the mattress so he could taste and tease the softness of her neck and throat, Monica shuddered and stared up at him adoringly. She reached back so he could have easier access. She basked in the feel of his hungry wet lips and darting, probing tongue as they took turns tantalizing her warm, tingling, responsive pleasure points. While he teased and taunted, she ran her fingernails down his back and then deftly slid them underneath his shirt. She smiled when she felt him lurch and then shiver at her startling touch. She wasn't the only one who reacted to the unexpected feel of sizzling skin on sizzling skin. She heard him moan softly against her neck and felt his weight shift slightly as her fingers grasped and kneaded his bare skin.

"Monica," he growled, his body trembling from her handiwork even as his mouth trailed kisses down her neck and throat until he reached the sweet valley between her luscious breasts.

With one swift motion while Monica watched and grinned, he pulled down the garment, allowing two soft, inviting mounds of supple ivory flesh to spill out. Chandler feasted his eyes and then began to cup and stroke and fondle one and then the other while Monica tilted her head back, closed her eyes and indulged in the tortuous pleasure her lover was inflicting on her. When Chandler ravished the left one while attending to the right one with deft fingers lest it feel abandoned, Monica arched, letting him please her in ways she hadn't experienced in a very long time. If ever. She never wanted this night to end. He knew just the right moves and just the right places to touch to bring her closer to the edge of agony and then ecstasy.

She stilled herself long enough to revel in the talent of his hands and his mouth as they worked hard to discover new areas to explore on her heated and aroused body. Slowly moving upward once again, his mouth and tongue moved from one taut and satisfied breast to the other. When he circled and nipped and teased her hardening and erect pink nipples, unfulfilled hot desire made her grab two handfuls of the designer sheets and cry out from pure joy. She slid her firm backside; the one Chandler's hands had just been pleasuring, against the silky sheets, desperately needing some form of exquisite release, as she waited impatiently for her lover to tend to the very core of her being.

But when he would have lowered her lingerie even further, she stopped his hands and rolled him over onto his back, loving the look of smoky desire in his darkening, heavy-lidded eyes.

"My turn," she said, suddenly needing to inflict her own brand of sweet agony and then satisfy him; and before Chandler could react, she had unbuttoned his shirt and wasted no time removing it.

He smiled, seeing the fire and unmistakable passion present in her crystal blue eyes. He let her take control, enjoying the feel of her smooth hands and her hungry, nibbling teeth and mouth on his bare torso and abdomen as they brought him to a state of absolute arousal he wanted to celebrate with her.

He wrapped his arms around her and lowered her until their heated bodies touched and sparked. When Monica felt his hardness against her tender, sensitized skin, she looked at him and grinned.

"Yes, lovely lady, you did this. This is all you."

"I love my work," she said and proceeded to reach for the zipper of his pants.

He raised his hips so she could remove his trousers. When she would have done the same with his boxers, he stopped her.

"Not just yet. I have more work to do."

She looked at him and nodded, and then they switched positions.

Without speaking, he made quick work of removing the teddy and flinging it onto the carpet and then gazed lovingly at Monica, with the flames from the candles dancing around her nude, flawless, slender body, as she motioned for him to place himself on her and love her. Totally and completely. Wanting nothing more than to please his lover, he joined her on the bed and began painstakingly tracing his finger, followed by the flicking of his tongue, from the underside of one full breast, down along her ribs to her waist, her hip and finally to her toned thigh. She didn't think she could stand it any longer. She gasped and murmured at each burning touch and then felt her insides contract when Chandler's finger made its way to the tender soft flesh inside her thigh, which trembled uncontrollably at his touch. What was he doing to her?! She continued her quiet whimpers of want and need, which excited Chandler beyond measure, when he slowly inched his finger ever so closer and then finally found her moist, slightly swollen and waiting expectantly for him. When he teased her mercilessly until she thought she couldn't take it anymore, he pulled back and watched as her eyes, glazed with passion and desire, implored him to tease her again. And again. He was hers. They could do this anytime they wanted to. He belonged to her, and she could ask, she could plead, or she could tease and make him wait. Whatever they wanted to do, they could. She had never felt more alive, more ready to be with a man, more ready to take on whatever challenges came their way. He was her lover. Her friend. Her world.

"You like?" he teased, using her earlier words to him to taunt her.

Loving how electrified she felt; she nodded unabashedly and reached for him. She needed him against her, loving her, wanting her as no other man ever had. She needed to feel his lips on hers again. She knew she would never have enough of this man who was loving her so fully and completely, she didn't know if they would ever stop.

With Chandler in perfect position, she reached out and when her wandering fingers landed on the elastic waistband of his boxers, he didn't stop her. Instead, he helped her to completely remove the last barrier between them, despite knowing what the glint in her eye represented. Excitement at the thought of what she might do to him gripped him even as his insides trembled slightly at the unknown. He fully expected his bare bottom to be repaid in kind and looked forward to experiencing her form of sweet revenge. When she was sure he was ready for what was about to happen, the shorts joined his other clothes and hers on the plush carpet.

Without giving him a chance to say or do anything, a flushed and totally aroused Monica wasted no time exacting her revenge for his earlier torment of her bottom by brazenly cupping his more ample rump in the palms of her hands and gripping his pliant flesh a little more roughly and longer than he had done with hers. She watched with fascination as her actions caused him to writhe and groan and stretch out in order to be able to take the intentional and planned torture of her hands toying with his backside, which she was enjoying immensely when she wasn't watching him, especially when she returned the favor of a playful but meaningful and somewhat harsher smack to each of his totally exposed and unprotected cheeks, which he knew he deserved and mostly enjoyed because it was Monica who had delivered the spanks even though his was on bare skin and which he knew she would not let him forget because he had started it. Her revenge was complete when she was rewarded with a low moan of uncertainty when he thought she might not be finished.

After assuring him she was, she drew him closer even as she knew she needed to keep him on his toes. But right now, she needed to feel him against her. All of him. She pulsated with desire until she thought she was going to explode as he moved near. She looked down and smiled and then boldly ran her finger along his cock, keeping it there and sometimes moving it back and forth while Chandler's insides almost burst. Now this was torture. Pure and simple. She loved the feel of how hard and erect it was and her heart raced when she elicited an unforgettable, deep guttural moan of pleasure mixed with desperation, pleading and unmasked desire from her man's lips as she very nearly pushed him over the edge, never to return.

"Woman, what are you doing to me?" he cried, his body shuddering as she continued to play with him as if he were made of stone.

Which he wasn't, and she knew it. Her toying with him had brought _her_ to the brink of madness. She needed him. Now.

"Love me, Chandler," she begged, her legs spreading wider almost of their own volition as an invitation to him. "I need to feel you. All of you. Inside me. Now, mister."

And then she added a softly spoken "please."

She waited a beat for him to do what he needed to do for protection, and then the fireworks began. Wanting to hear her cry of unadulterated ecstasy that he would bring her to, he seductively rubbed the fullness of his erection against her delicate, moist skin and then stopped, forcing her to pull on his muscled back to bring him closer. He teased her again and again while she lay powerless to stop his cruel but oh so delicious taunting, and then when neither one thought they could last one more second, he pushed against her and with a thrust that shook her body and caused her to plow her fingers deeper into his sweat-glistened flesh, she closed her eyes and waited for the climax she knew was going to happen as he entered her and made himself at home with skilled but precise and careful movements she knew captured the very essence of who he was.

"Yes!" she shouted, when she felt him sliding deeper and harder as he began to find his rhythm, allowing her to rise up and join him in this exquisite journey. "I love you so much. Keep going, baby. That's it. Oh, yes, that's it. That's it. Yes! Yes! Yes!"

The two of them rocked together, clutching and pressing and wrapped around one another. She closed her eyes to allow the experience of feeling the fullness of Chandler inside her, loving her the way she'd always wanted to be loved, wash over her. Chandler. After all this time. She couldn't get enough of him. She continued to hold on to him and pulled him closer. Tighter. She willed their hot bodies to meld into one. She wanted to feel him forever. When he penetrated deeper and she permitted him access for even stronger and harder pulsating movements and then he pulled her near, she knew she was ready. She never wanted not to feel this way. Chandler loved her, and he couldn't have been better at showing her just how much. She had never been so ready for the heady release she knew was about to happen for both of them. She knew it was going to be unforgettable.

"I love you, Monica," he said, right before they clasped hands above their heads, gazed into each other's passion-filled eyes, and rocked their world with an explosion of love that could only be shared by two people who were in love and knew this would not be the only time they would come together as one.

After the crescendo which was mesmerizing, they slowly descended back to earth and nestled in each other's arms, amazed and stunned but thrilled at what had just taken place. The flames from the candles began to wane, but they knew their night of passion was only just beginning.

"We are going to do that again," Monica declared.

And they did. All night long.


	24. Chapter 24

Hi! Thanks for your kind reviews for the last chapter! I did have fun writing it. *grin* As always, I appreciate all of you very much. Hope you enjoy the latest chapter! :-)

* * *

Chapter 24

Early the next morning, when Monica opened her eyes and saw the unfamiliar surroundings, she quickly looked around, trying to remember where she was. And then her eyes fell to Chandler sleeping next to her, looking sexy as he slept on his stomach, with the blankets having slipped halfway down his naked, sinewy torso, and the previous night's events came rushing back. She smiled as she lay watching him in a blissful state of slumber, so very thankful their being together had not been a dream. Because that would not have been right. She and Chandler had spent the night together and what a night it had been. As she stretched underneath the covers trying to wake up, the slight soreness and tightness in places she wasn't used to quickly reminded her just how much Chandler had taken command of their lovemaking. But she had savored every indulgent second of it. What an incredible and surprising lover he had been. Even as she had taught him a few new things, which made her blush just thinking about them, he'd dazzled her with his skill and willingness to try just about anything. She had to admit she'd never thought he'd be that way. He definitely knew his way around a woman's body, and hers in particular, even though it had been their first time. Which made their coming together simply incredible.

Glancing his way one more time, she sighed, thinking how much she loved and adored the man who rested comfortably next to her. As she watched the easy rise and fall of his chest, it took every ounce of control she had not to pull back the blankets and wake him so they could be together again. But, she reasoned with the part of her brain that had not been possessed by out of control hormones, he looked so peaceful and relaxed. She realized this was probably the most sleep he had gotten in the last month. And she knew she was largely responsible for that. Deciding to let him continue his foray in dreamland, she carefully removed herself from the bed so as not to wake him. When she stood and her muscles protested loudly, she realized it had indeed been one unforgettable night of lovemaking. But it had definitely been worth it, and the minor discomfort she felt wasn't anything a hot shower wouldn't ease.

Thinking about the hot spray hitting her body made her look at Chandler again as she unleashed her very vivid and naughty imagination. Maybe he would want to join her? She smiled as she thought of the possibilities they hadn't been able to fulfill or hadn't even considered exploring the previous night. Her insides came alive even as she knew she at least needed coffee. Strong hot coffee. And then they could have more fun!

After throwing on a pale pink sweat suit and making herself presentable to leave the room, Monica rode the elevator to the hotel lobby, found a place where they served coffee and bought a large latte to go. She thought she and Chandler would order room service for breakfast; but in case he woke up very late or decided he didn't want to eat, she treated herself to a bagel with cream cheese. She wanted to return to the room in case Chandler was awake, even though she had left him a note so he wouldn't worry, but she didn't want to disturb him if he was still sleeping. She knew he had been stressed these past few weeks even though she thought he'd handled everything exceptionally well. That was another thing she had to give him credit for. He had really grown up since he'd left Manhattan.

She found an empty table in the quaint café with its cable car theme and sat down to enjoy her latte and bagel while continuing to think about Chandler. She knew he had been dealing with some heavy issues for quite a long time and now, after being with him these past few weeks, she realized he wasn't the same wiseacre, funny guy she remembered from their time being friends and neighbors. He had become way more serious than she was used to, but she understood why. Still, she missed those parts of the old Chandler and hoped, with time, those characteristics would reappear.

Dwelling on how much he had matured made her think about Adrianna. Would she be okay with them being together? She still wasn't sure exactly where she stood with the little girl, but she thought she was making progress. And now that she was feeling so much better, both physically and emotionally, she hoped she could show her how much she cared for her father and her. She knew she and Chandler would have to have "the conversation" about how to tell Adrianna they were together.

As Monica enjoyed more of her coffee and then took a big bite of her delicious warm bagel, another conversation she knew she was overdue to have with Chandler invaded her thoughts and took away some of the giddiness she had been experiencing. She had really wanted to talk with him before last night happened, but she was so caught up in the moment, it had totally slipped her mind. Or, at least, that's what she told herself. She knew it wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have, but it was a very necessary one because it could change everything and she knew, before they checked out of their hotel room today, she had to tell him. She owed him that much if not so much more. It was the only fair and right thing to do. She hoped they would both feel better once she had voiced what she knew in her heart needed to be said.

She realized she was frowning, now that she'd let reality intrude upon her glorious morning. She wasn't ready for this. She still wanted to bask in last night's blissful activities. Shaking off the gloom that suddenly engulfed her, she finished her coffee and bagel and quickly headed back to the room. Maybe Chandler was awake! Seeing him would make her feel so much better.

Monica quietly entered the room and was somewhat disappointed to see that Chandler was still sleeping. He had not moved, so she knew he at least was getting some much-needed rest which made her happy. Trying not to disturb him, she surveyed the suite in the light of day. She smiled at the significance of seven vases of roses as she removed one red flower to inhale its sweet scent and tickle her nose with the soft petals as she recalled the events of that particular day with Chandler and Rachel in her apartment and knew she had reaped some of the benefits of that lesson last night. She saw the remnants of their indulgence in the strawberries dipped in chocolate. Feeding them to Chandler and having him return the favor while they rolled around on the bed was probably going to be one of her favorite memories that had happened at the stroke of midnight. And then there was the almost full bottle of champagne. She had wanted to enjoy the expensive bubbly, but they had been too distracted to partake. That thought made her grin as she set the rose on the table near the abandoned glasses and then reached down to pick up their hastily discarded items of clothing.

When she retrieved Chandler's midnight blue dress shirt, she held it against her and couldn't resist inhaling the woodsy scent of him and the memory of how quickly she had been able to release it from his body. She wanted his shirt.

After removing her sneakers, she padded into the bathroom and quickly took off her sweat suit and replaced it with his shirt that felt so good and right against her skin. She knew it was an expensive item of clothing, but she declared it hers. Chandler would just have to buy another one to wear with his suit. She looked at herself in the mirror. The shirt had looked good on him, but it definitely looked sexy and inviting on her. She smiled as she returned to the room. Not so quietly this time because she really wanted him to wake up so they could play, she joined him on the bed and stretched out into a sitting position so her shoulders could rest against the propped up pillows and leaned her head against the headboard. She was thankful her back felt fine.

She watched Chandler sleep, trying hard not to run her fingers through his tousled hair or trace a fingernail along his exposed shoulders and back. What she really had to keep herself from doing was to peek under the covers and then slide her hand underneath. She stifled a giggle as she thought how much fun that would be to get him to wake up! She also had a flashback of another time in her apartment when she had watched him sleep, and he had freaked out when he woke up and saw her staring at him. She hoped that wouldn't happen this time. She didn't think it would.

After a while, Monica's eyes drifted shut. She didn't want to sleep, but she didn't seem to be able to keep her eyes open either. Just a few minutes of respite and then she would wake up Chandler.

A little while later, he opened his eyes and was treated to the sight of Monica sound asleep on top of the covers, wearing his shirt. He knew it had never looked better. How he loved her and had been loved by her. He had known the sex between them would be amazing, and he definitely had been right. He hoped, now that it was morning or so he thought, she felt the same way. She certainly seemed to agree with him while it was happening. Knowing she had already been awake and was probably waiting for him, he placed his warm hand on her bare thigh, giving the cool skin a gentle shake.

Monica's eyes opened and she feasted on the sight that greeted her.

"It's about time, sleepyhead," she said and ruffled his hair.

"I know," he said and stretched. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten."

"Wow. I haven't slept that late in ages. Thank you for not waking me."

"I figured you haven't been getting much sleep, and that I'm part of the reason, so I thought I'd leave you alone."

"I'm awake now," he said, matching her sitting position on his side of the bed, "so what do you want to do?"

When all she did was smile, he grinned.

"Really?"

"Okay, maybe not right now. How about a hot shower? Together? And then we could order room service."

"Sure. Works for me."

They both turned to their sides of the bed to get up. Chandler reached for the white robe the hotel had supplied and belted it loosely around him.

"By the way," Monica said, as she followed him into the bathroom, "you gotta buy yourself another shirt for that suit. This one is now mine, mister."

He laughed and told Monica he had no problem buying another shirt.

"It looks better on you anyway."

"I know!" she said and laughed.

* * *

They ate their scrumptious breakfast in companionable silence; and as Monica refilled hers and Chandler's coffee cups, he watched her. The playful mood she had exhibited when he had first woken up and again in the shower and that he so enjoyed seemed to have dissipated somewhat. She appeared to be stewing about something. He hoped it wasn't anything from what had happened the night before or that morning. He wouldn't have changed a thing, although he realized maybe a few things could have been done better, or at least differently, but he thought they had been amazing together, considering it was their first time.

When she finished her scrambled eggs and still had not spoken, Chandler knew he had to say something.

"What's going on, Mon? You're too quiet."

She nodded. "I know. I need to have two conversations with you. One shouldn't be too hard, but the second one…"

Her voice trailing off concerned Chandler.

"You're scaring me. Talk to me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can't be that bad."

Could it?

She wanted to, but she wasn't quite ready so she stalled.

"Before we talk, shouldn't you check in with Nancy?"

"You're right. I should."

He stood and retrieved his cell phone from the table and called Nancy. After being reassured everything was fine with them and talking with his daughter, he put down the phone and returned to his chair across from Monica at the room service cart.

"Everything is fine with Adrianna," he reported. "Now, where were we?"

She smiled at his not so subtle way of letting her know they had unfinished business. The mention of his daughter gave her the opening she needed for that conversation.

"One of the things I wanted to talk with you about is Adrianna. What is she going to think of us being together, really being together, and are you going to tell her when we see her?"

"Well, _we_ could tell her when _we_ get back to the house. I have to be honest, Mon. I'm not worried about Adrianna. She'll be fine with this."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because she likes you. She really does. Do you think she would have agreed to stay with you in New York if she didn't like or trust you? You guys are good. If she's not overly affectionate, I think it's because she's just not used to the idea yet, but that will change. When she sees how happy we are and that we're together, she will embrace you. Literally and figuratively. I truly believe that. In her own way, whether she knows it or not, she's been pushing me towards you. She's the one who had the idea of us being together. She knows. She just needs reassurance from us and me, in particular, and I'll make sure she has it."

"Thank you," Monica said, feeling better about that situation. "And, of course, you're right. We can tell her together."

Chandler smiled and covered the top of Monica's hand with his fingers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"So what is the second item on Ms. Geller's agenda?" he asked.

He tried to sound lighthearted because she had made whatever this topic was seem so dire. He hoped nothing could be that bad, but he knew he had to hear what it was first. And Monica seemed to be continuing to struggle with whatever it was she wanted to say.

He watched her as she rose from her chair and began to pace the room.

"Monica, what is it? Please tell me."

She nodded and then turned to face him.

"I really wanted to have this conversation before last night happened so that there wouldn't be anything coming between us, but last night was so incredible, and I got caught up in the moment, and well…I didn't say anything, and I really should have."

"About?" he asked, totally confused.

"About what happened six years ago."

There. At least she'd said those words.

Chandler stood and crossed to stand next to her.

"I don't understand. We talked about all that in your apartment when I visited."

She looked away.

"We didn't talk about everything," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He placed his index finger below her chin and forced her to look at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You. Me. Us."

Chandler gave a rueful laugh.

"Mon, back then, there was no us. Only me being stupid, thinking I could and should be the one to keep you away from Richard. Me. Who couldn't even hold on to Janice or Kathy or insert any woman's name you want."

"That's just it," Monica said. "Don't you see, Chandler? I treated you the same way all those other women had, even though you were, and hopefully still will be, my best friend. Who does that? Who treats their best friend the way I so horribly treated you? I didn't even give you a chance. I was so sure that it couldn't be you who could be my knight in shining armor that I didn't even stop to think what it must have cost you to even mention the possibility that we could be good together. And then I threw it back in your face and never thought twice about it. Until later. Until I realized what I had truly done and how horribly I had acted towards you. But, of course, by then, it was much too late. But I hope it's not too late for me to apologize because Chandler, I am so sorry! I took your very genuine feelings for me, and I stomped all over them, without even thinking about you. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive myself, but I had to at least try to apologize to you. And I wanted to do it before last night happened and now…"

"Well, now that you mention it…but no, Mon, I was the one who crossed the line. Not you."

Tears gathered in her eyes as she nodded.

"You said that, and I was so angry with you that you thought I couldn't make it with Richard, that I let you believe that, Chandler, and it was a total lie! I should have stopped you from going down that path, but when you took all the blame for ruining our friendship, I let you. Again, who does that?"

"You were angry, Mon. Angrier than I had ever seen you. And we hardly ever fought. And when we did, it wasn't anything we weren't over by the next day. To make you almost hate me, I knew I had done something incredibly stupid and unforgivable. I hurt you. I belittled your relationship and your feelings. I got that then, even though it was too late for me to take back my words, and I get it now. Why do you think I left? Mon, you were the last person I ever wanted to hurt, and the one I ended up hurting the most. To use your words: Who does that?"

She shook her head.

"You were scared. I got that. You put yourself out there for me, and I turned my back on you. I didn't make things any easier for you, and I could have. I just chose not to. Back then, I wanted you to suffer. Why? Why was I so hell bent on having things my way? I'm a horrible friend, Chandler. Joey told me that after you left, and he was right. About so many things. We didn't speak for a long time after you left. And you were right, too. And I was too stubborn to listen to anyone, and it almost cost me you!"

"I think you mean Richard," he said, trying to be kind.

She vehemently shook her head.

"No, I mean you, Chandler. I don't care about Richard. I care about how I hurt you, how I let you think everything that happened was your fault, how it was you who ruined our friendship, and how I never had the decency to tell you until now. I couldn't even be happy for you and then when Stephanie died…I didn't want it to be this way. I really didn't."

"Well, don't look at my track record because it isn't spotless, believe me."

"But look around, Chandler. I know why there are seven vases. I know why you've tried to make things so easy for me. I know why you let me keep trying with Adrianna, even when the situation seemed hopeless. It's the man you are, and I know I crushed you. I don't think I can ever say I'm sorry enough times. But I am, Chandler. I am so sorry!"

"Monica, don't do this. Please. Why are we revisiting our incredibly painful past when we have so much to look forward to?"

"Because of that very sentence you just said. You're letting me off the hook, Chandler, and you shouldn't do that. You really shouldn't."

He smiled and shook his head.

"Come here," he said and drew her into his arms and held her close. "I'll let you in on a little secret."

She looked up at him and frowned.

"Everything you just said?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, I figured most of that out a few years ago. Things happen, Mon. We each made our own decisions and choices. Good and bad. And we've both had to deal with the consequences of our actions. I'm just glad our paths crossed again and that we're being given this chance. Aren't you?"

"Of course I am," she said, pulling him closer to her, wanting him to know how very important he was to her. "But…"

"No, Mon, please don't say it; don't even think it. Yeah, when my head cleared and I started thinking about all that happened in your apartment that night six years ago, I was angry with you for a lot of different reasons and yeah, when I started thinking about how you treated me and how I let you treat me, I didn't have kind thoughts about you, but then I learned a very valuable word."

"What's that?"

"Forgiveness. You don't ever have to apologize for that time in our lives again because I have forgiven you. See how that works?"

She laughed and shook her head.

"We're really okay?"

He looked at her and then kissed the tip of her nose.

"After last night, I'd say we're better than okay. We're fantastic!"

"I love you so much," she said and hugged him so tightly she took his breath away.

He may have forgiven her, and for that she was truly thankful, but in her heart, she knew she would spend the rest of her life never taking him or his love for granted again.


	25. Chapter 25

Hi! Here's another chapter. Thank you for continuing to read, review, follow and favorite this story. I hope you enjoy! :-)

* * *

Chapter 25

Once Nancy had assured Chandler she was alone with Adrianna, he and Monica drove to his house where he was greeted with a big hug from his daughter. She hugged Monica, too, and told them she'd missed them.

"We missed you, too," Chandler said. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

She nodded.

"We had fun."

"Yes, we did," Nancy said, coming to stand behind Adrianna. "Everybody behaved."

She looked over Adrianna's head to make sure Chandler knew who, in particular, she was talking about.

"Good," he said, nodding to indicate he understood.

"There are some leftovers in the fridge. I'm going to take off, but during the next week, we'll be bringing boxes here if that's okay."

"That's fine. You guys need to start making this place livable for you. We'll be gone in less than two weeks."

"Wow, I can't believe it."

"We can't either," Monica said.

She felt a slight tightening in her stomach when Chandler said that. In less than two weeks, she would be back in New York? She could only hope things would go smoothly.

After Nancy left and Chandler had placed their bags in his room, he looked at Monica who nodded. They approached Adrianna who was sitting on the couch in the living room watching the DVD Nancy had started for her. After sitting on either side of her, Chandler said he needed to stop the movie so they could talk. She looked from her father to Monica and then back to her father.

"When you said that before, Monica got sick. You're not sick, are you?" she asked, now looking at Monica.

"No, sweetie, I'm not sick," she assured the anxious girl. "This is something good. Well, at least your father and I think it's something good."

Adrianna looked at her father. "What is it?"

Chandler cleared his throat before he spoke. "As you know, Monica and I have been spending a lot of time together. While we were alone this weekend, we realized we like each other a lot, and we want to be more than friends."

"You mean like dating and stuff?"

"Yeah," Chandler said, relieved his daughter seemed to understand what he was saying. "Monica and I are together. As in a couple. So, you might see us acting differently towards each other, but it's because we're happy we can show how much we care about each other."

"So you guys are gonna kiss and hug?"

Chandler grinned and looked at Monica. "Yeah, we might."

"Okay," Adrianna said, not sure she really wanted to see any of it, but she realized she sort of knew this might happen.

She'd even mentioned it to her bear the other night when she was supposed to be asleep but needed to share her thoughts.

Monica heard the hesitation in the girl's voice and tried to reassure her. "We won't do anything you are not comfortable with, so you tell us if you don't want to see us being affectionate, and we won't do it."

"It's all right," she said, looking at Monica. "I kinda knew about you guys. I told Timmy, my bear, all about it the other night."

"We thought you knew," Chandler said. "Although I didn't know Timmy knew," he teased. "Did he take the news well?"

"Daddy," Adrianna said, shaking her head.

"But Monica's right," he continued. "We won't do anything you don't want us to. We want you to be a part of this, Adrianna. We don't want to exclude you."

"I'm hoping we'll be able to spend more time together," Monica added. "I care about you a lot, Adrianna, even if I haven't been able to show you."

She nodded but didn't say anything.

"Are you okay with this?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah," she said and then she smiled at both of them. "I kinda like that you're together. You're smiling a lot now."

Chandler and Monica both reached for her and squeezed her until she was giggling as she pretended not to like it, but then she gave in and let them hug her while she hugged them back.

"We have many reasons to smile now," Chandler said. "And one of the best ones is because of you."

* * *

Joey sat in his recliner reading through the script he had just received by messenger when Ross entered his apartment and said hello.

"Hey," Joey said, placing his script on the nearby table. "What's up?"

"We…we haven't had a chance to talk much since you got back."

"I know. It's been crazy, huh? I've gone to Central Perk a few times, but nobody seems to be around. I guess with the holidays coming and Phoebe's wedding, everyone's busy."

"Yeah," Ross said and nodded as he took a seat on the stool near the kitchen counter and faced his friend. "That's part of it."

Joey gave him a puzzled look. "Part of what?"

"Look, I didn't really want to be the one to tell you this, but the others elected me, so I…I told them I would talk to you."

"About what?"

"We got to talking after you went to see Monica and Chandler, and we realized how big a part you played in what was going on with my sister."

"Well, we live across the hall," Joey said, not quite sure where Ross was going with his conversation.

"True," he said, "but that didn't mean you had to shoulder all the responsibility when my sister became dependent on pain pills. You could've come to any one of us, Joe, but you didn't. You covered for her, and you helped her continue her addiction. That wasn't cool, man. Something even more horrible could've happened to Monica, and we would've never known about it or been able to help. Why didn't you tell at least one of us, preferably me as her brother, what the hell was going on?"

Joey stood from his chair to face Ross. "Wait a minute. You're blaming me for what your sister was doing? What about Monica? If she'd wanted you to know, she would've told you! Maybe she didn't think you or the others would've been supportive."

"Oh, I see," Ross said, standing now, too. "You…you think you were being supportive."

"That's not what I said."

"Just how is enabling someone to continue hurting herself helping?"

"I didn't say I was helping her. I was someone she came to and confided in. Didn't see her going to any of you, now did she?"

"No," Ross said. "But you could have, and you chose not to. I'm just glad my sister got the help she needed, even if it was Chandler who stepped in and helped make it possible."

"_Even_ if it was Chandler?" Joey said, his anger starting to show. "What the hell's the matter with you, Ross? We both care a lot about your sister. I'm the first to admit I didn't make the best choices, but I was looking out for Monica, and I would've done whatever I'd needed to if the situation called for it. Chandler, well, you're just gonna have to find out about that whole thing for yourself."

"You should've come to one of us," Ross insisted. "And as far as Chandler is concerned, I know he's moving back here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or accept it. I'm just glad Monica will be able to function on her own again. She…she won't need to be dependent on you or Chandler or those stupid pills. That makes me very happy."

"What are you saying here, Ross? Chandler and I are no longer your friends because we care so damn much about your sister? How does that make any sense?"

"It's not because you care about my sister. It's because you guys just do whatever the hell you want without thinking about how it's affecting the people around you. Look what Chandler did to Monica six years ago."

"Really?" Joey said, quickly losing his patience, even as he knew Ross was clueless. But he didn't care to enlighten him on a few things. "Well, then, don't worry about me because I'll be fine. Chandler's coming back, and he's bringing Monica and Adrianna with him. Let's just see what your sister has to say, shall we, Ross? Because I don't think she'd appreciate it or you and the others if she knew about this conversation. At all. Now, get out of my apartment before I say something you really don't wanna hear me say."

After Ross left, Joey slammed the door so hard, the walls reverberated. He didn't think he'd ever been so angry. And with his supposed friend, too. Joey couldn't wait until Chandler, Monica and Adrianna returned to New York. His best friend was going to be living with him again in their apartment. That thought calmed him down and actually made him smile.

He smiled, too, when he thought of the surprises Ross and the others had waiting for them. They hadn't said anything, but Joey knew it was just a matter of time before Monica and Chandler got together. He'd never seen two people more meant to be together than those two. He knew it would be good for Adrianna, too. And whether he liked it or not, Joey knew Ross was going to have to deal with that fact. And probably sooner rather than later. That was another thought that made him smile.

Phoebe and Mike might not be the only couple walking down the aisle, he thought, as he grabbed his jacket and headed out for a night on the town. His disappointing conversation with Ross made him realize he had no need to go to the coffeehouse, but that didn't mean he couldn't find a pretty woman who would most definitely take his mind off of his troubles with his friends. And he knew that's what he needed. The sooner the better.


	26. Chapter 26

Hi! Here is the latest chapter. I hope you will continue to enjoy the story! Thanks, as always, for your support! :-)

* * *

Chapter 26

Joey surprised Monica, Chandler, and Adrianna when their plane landed at Newark International Airport.

"Hey!" Monica said, giving him a warm hug. "We said you didn't have to come. We know it's a hassle to get around the airport these days."

"I know, but I wanted to greet you guys."

"Thanks, buddy," Chandler said, hugging him, too. "We can use your help with the luggage."

"Sure. But until then, I'll carry Adrianna so she doesn't get lost. This airport is crazy busy."

"Good idea," Chandler said. "Thanks."

Joey scooped up Adrianna and welcomed her with a kiss on her cheek. Ever since his conversation with Ross and the fact he hadn't been able to be a with a woman because every time he started to leave with someone he'd met, Christy's attractive face suddenly flashed in his mind, he'd started counting the days until this trio of important people would return to his life. He realized how much he needed them.

"Uncle Joey, I can walk. I don't need to be carried."

"I don't care. I don't want you getting lost."

"I can hold your hand."

"Do you not want me to carry you? Are you not happy to see me?"

"I am. I just…"

She looked around at the other travelers and didn't see anyone else her age being carried. She wanted to be like the big kids she saw walking around the terminal. Being in the airport excited her. She wanted to experience everything.

"I'm a big girl."

"Well, maybe so, but here, you might get trampled. You're staying in my arms until we get to baggage claim. I'll put you down when I have to help your father with the suitcases."

"Okay," she said and then decided to enjoy being in her uncle's arms again. "I'm happy we're here with you."

"It's about time you said something nice to me," he said, feigning a hurt voice.

But she only laughed at her silly but adorable uncle as they quickly made their way to the luggage carousel.

* * *

Two hours later, they arrived home. Monica unlocked the door and walked into her apartment. She wasn't sure what she'd expected to feel or find, but everything looked and felt the same. She took that as a good sign.

"You did a good job, Joe. Thank you," she said, giving him a light peck on his cheek.

"You're welcome. It was kinda easy. I just had to keep the plants alive. Your mail is on the coffee table. You definitely need to stock your refrigerator and most of your cupboards."

She laughed. "I figured. I'll go shopping tomorrow."

"We'll go shopping tomorrow," Chandler clarified.

"Okay," Joey said. "I guess we can all go."

"I'm going to get the guest room ready for Adrianna, so whatever you want to leave here, feel free."

"I'll help," Chandler said.

"No need. You should get settled, too. I'll be fine."

"I have some things at my place for Adrianna in case she's thirsty or hungry," Joey said. "Why don't we go and let Monica do her thing."

"Sounds good to me."

Chandler was about to usher his daughter across the hall when she said she wanted to stay with Monica, who'd stopped in her tracks to make sure she'd heard right.

"You want to stay with me?"

She nodded.

"I can help. Can I stay, Daddy? Please?"

"Of course you can stay. This is where you'll be spending a lot of your time."

"Thanks, Adrianna," Monica said and smiled. "I can certainly use some help."

After Joey and Chandler left, Monica began showing Adrianna around.

"I know you were here before, but you probably don't remember much. Let me give you the tour, and then you can help me decide how to set up your room."

She nodded happily as she followed Monica around the apartment.

* * *

"How great will it be if Adrianna really takes to Monica," Joey said to Chandler as they carried his suitcases into the apartment.

"Really great," Chandler agreed. "Especially since Monica and I are together."

Joey dropped the bag he had been carrying towards the bedroom and looked at his best friend.

"As in a couple together?" he asked, his dark eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," Chandler said and grinned. "I think I was supposed to wait for Monica so we could tell you together, but I wanted you to know. You've had a lot to do with this, Joey, so I want to give you proper credit and say a hearty thanks, man."

"Hey, no problem. Roomie. I love that I can say that again. Well, I guess at least for a little while, huh? Wow, this is so cool. I'm sooo happy for you guys. I really am. Especially if Adrianna is okay with it."

And then he chuckled and shook his head.

"Wait until Ross hears this."

"Why? What's going on with Ross?"

Joey frowned. "I wanted to tell, actually warn, you and Monica. Ross is not too happy with you and me. I think the others aren't either, but I think it's mainly Ross."

"What did he say?"

"He said some things about the way I handled the situation with Monica. He's right, and it's nothing I haven't realized, but it just bugged me the way he went on and on about you and me. Like he's never made a bad decision or done something he's regretted and tried to make amends for."

"Ross never making a bad decision? That's absurd."

"I know, right. But I get where he's coming from. I know he was and probably still is worried about Monica."

"Well, then, it's up to Monica to set him straight, isn't it?"

"I think so, too. We need to talk to her about this. I don't want her to walk into an ambush."

"I think she already senses things aren't great. She's had a couple of emotional phone calls with her family. She's been edgy as the time got closer to come here."

"We need to support her."

"Yeah, we do."

"She's lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure her family doesn't ruin things for her."

* * *

"I'm going to use sheets I know Emma likes when she stays here. Do you like the Disney Princesses?"

Adrianna nodded. She was excited to think she would be sleeping in the same bed with the same sheets that Emma had used. She couldn't wait to see and talk to her.

"Is she here a lot?"

"Some times. More in the summer when she doesn't have school. I try to take her to different places. Won't it be fun to maybe do things now and then with Emma and me?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Monica stopped her bed making to kneel in front of Adrianna who had been watching her every move.

"I'm so happy you're staying with me," she said, reaching for the girl's hands and holding them in her own. "I want us to get to know each other better. I want you to feel comfortable around me. I care about you a lot, Adrianna, and I know all of this hasn't been easy for you. Your father and I want you to be happy."

"You look happy," she said.

"I am," Monica said.

She couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"I am so happy, and I think your dad is, too. And we want you to be a big part of this and share in our happiness. There's been so much sadness. It's time we had something good to look forward to, right?"

"Yeah."

"Can I hug you, sweetheart? Really hug you and let you know how much you mean to me?"

Adrianna nodded and fell into Monica's inviting arms. When she felt the warm, caring adult touch, she returned the hug as best she knew how. It had been a long time since she'd felt a motherly hug, but that's what Monica's embrace felt like to her and she basked in the affection that radiated from her.

"I've wanted to hold you, but I was afraid you might not like it coming from me. I saw how easily Joey held you at the airport. I want you to feel that comfortable around me, Adrianna. I want to always be able to show you just how much I care for you."

"I like this," she said and found herself snuggling closer.

Monica smiled as she held her for a little while longer and even brushed her curly hair with her fingers. It felt so nice to be sharing what she considered a kind of mother-daughter moment. She didn't know if they would ever reach that stage, but Monica would take whatever Adrianna gave her. Right now, she was freely giving her affection, and Monica gladly received it.

When she pulled back, she noticed Chandler's daughter was smiling. At her. Monica's heart melted at the thought she and Adrianna might one day be as close as a real mother and daughter. She knew she would just have to keep working at it because that smile and the feel of having her hug be genuinely accepted and returned were two of the greatest gifts Monica had ever been given.

After they arranged the room to both of their satisfaction, Monica asked if she wanted to see her father and Joey. Adrianna said she did, so the two of them crossed the hall and entered Apartment 19.

"I see nothing has been accomplished here," Monica teased.

"Chandler has his luggage in his room," Joey defended, even as he saw the twinkle in Monica's blue eyes.

"That's a start. I really don't care. We have Adrianna set up in her room, so we thought we'd see what you guys have been up to. Are we going out to eat or ordering the Joey special?"

"On our first night here, you know we have to order the Joey special," Chandler said, emerging from his old room. "And I have so accomplished a lot. See for yourself."

He wrapped his arm around Monica's waist, pulled her close, and kissed her cheek.

"I was kidding, and what are you doing?" she asked, trying to act shocked that Chandler would show her such affection.

"I hope you don't mind, but I told Joey."

Monica laughed. "I'm not surprised. That's fine. What do you think about us, Joey?"

His smile was wide and genuine. "I'm so happy for you guys. I think it's great."

Monica looked at Chandler and smiled. "Thanks. We do, too."

"And you approve, too, right?" Joey asked, bending down to look at Adrianna.

"Yeah, I do."

He high-fived Adrianna who giggled and then told her he had a surprise for her in his room.

"Really? Oh, boy!"

She scampered into the room and returned, her eyes wide and her smile huge, carrying a long box with plastic on the front.

"Wow. Thank you, Uncle Joey. It's not even my birthday or Christmas."

"What do you have there?" Chandler asked, wondering what Joey had done now to spoil his daughter.

Joey grinned. "You're welcome. It's a welcome to Manhattan gift. I saw how much you liked the Barbie Emma gave you, and this one, according to the saleslady at the toy store, is apparently all the rage, so I decided to buy it for you. I hope you like it."

"I love it. Thank you soooo much!"

She ran and gave Joey a heartfelt hug which he gladly accepted. He wished he could adequately express how thrilled he was that Chandler and Adrianna were now living in New York. He hoped they knew how pleased he was that he would be able to see them more often and that an ocean no longer separated them.

She showed Monica and her father and then asked Chandler if he could open the box so she could play with it.

"Sure. For a little while."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Why don't you play with her in my room?" Joey said.

He wanted to talk more about the situation with Ross and the others with Monica and Chandler, but he didn't want Adrianna to hear. After Chandler removed the doll from the packaging, she ran into Joey's room and at her father's instruction, left the door slightly open.

Once he heard her playing, Joey motioned for them to go into the kitchen.

"I already mentioned this to Chandler, but I need to talk to you guys. It's about Ross and the others."

"What's going on?" Monica asked.

"Ross came to see me the other day. He and the others are not too pleased with Chandler and me. They think I should've told them what was going on with you; and Ross, at least, isn't thrilled Chandler is the one who stepped in to help you, Mon, even though I know he's happy you're okay. I just thought you should know."

"From the phone conversations I've had, I knew things were going to be weird when I came back. I'm sorry I put you guys in the middle. You've both been great to me, and believe me, I will make damn sure Ross and the others know that. I'll take care of this. This whole saga needs to end once and for all."

"We'll be with you, Mon. We won't let you do this alone."

"That's right," Joey said. "I know I didn't make the best decisions, but I was trying to help. We'll make sure they understand that."

"I'll call Ross later. Thanks for telling me, Joey. And again, I am so sorry."

After their conversation, Joey ordered the pizzas.

When there was a knock at the door a little while later, Joey answered it, ready to make polite conversation with the delivery person while paying for the pizzas and was stunned to see Rachel, Ross, and Emma standing on the other side.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"Hey, guys," Joey said and turned to Monica and Chandler to let them know it wasn't the pizza delivery person. "Come in."

Rachel, Ross, and Emma entered the apartment and said hi to Monica and Chandler.

"We went to your apartment first," Rachel said to Monica. "Then we thought you might be here."

The two women looked at each other and then quickly came together for a mutual warm embrace.

"You look good," Rachel said, after they'd pulled away. "Healthy."

"I feel really good," Monica said, pointedly including her brother in her remark. "Better than I have in a long time."

"That's great," Rachel said, looking to her husband. "Right, Ross?"

"Yes," he finally said and gave his sister a hug. "We're so happy you're back."

"Thank you."

"I missed you Aunt Monica," Emma said, also hugging her.

"I missed you, too, sweetie. I swear you've grown since I've been gone."

"You may be right," Rachel said, stroking her daughter's shoulder-length, honey-colored hair. "I feel like she changes every day."

"Emma!"

She turned at the mention of her name and saw Adrianna standing in the doorway of Joey's room.

"Hi!"

"Wanna play in Uncle Joey's room?"

"Can I?" she asked her parents, who nodded that it was okay.

She raced into the room with Adrianna who left the door slightly open at the adults' request.

"So you two…you're staying here?" Ross said to Chandler.

"I'm staying with Joey."

"Adrianna is staying with me," Monica announced.

"Really? Why?"

"Because there's not enough room here, and I want her to be comfortable."

"Are you ready to take care of a child?" Ross asked.

"I'm here, Ross," Chandler said, starting to get annoyed. 'I'm not leaving my child for Monica to take care of by herself."

"But you are going to be working, right?"

"Yes. I will find a daycare or preschool for Adrianna."

"Oh, I know a great one," Rachel said. "I'll give you the information."

"Thank you," Chandler said. "I'd appreciate that."

"I'm around, too," Joey said. 'We already talked about how I can help out while they get settled. We're not leaving everything for Monica to take care of."

"But I could and would do it if Chandler needed me to."

Ross gave his sister a puzzled look.

"Did something happen while you were in California?"

"I got better, physically and emotionally, if that's what you're referring to. And I don't appreciate you getting upset with Joey about how he helped me with my problem."

"That's just it, Monica. What help? How did he…how did he help you? I don't get how you could call what he did helping you."

"Hey!" Joey said, not liking or appreciating Ross' words or tone.

"Joey, let it go," Chandler said, moving to stand next to his friend.

"What great advice from you," Ross said. "Maybe you should've taken that advice a few years ago."

"Ross," Monica said, knowing she was about to lose it. "My apartment. Now!"

Meeting the pizza guy on the way out, Ross followed his sister into her apartment and once the door had been closed, she pounced on him.

"This has got to stop. You don't run my life, Ross, and you don't get to arbitrarily decide who's responsible for my actions. I messed this up. Me. Only me. And I'm finally taking responsibility for my actions. Joey has been a great friend to me. I'm the one who messed with him. Not the other way around. If it wasn't for Joey, I know I wouldn't be standing here talking to you. I'd be dead or in some hospital or institution. I chose to confide in Joey. He begged me to tell you guys all the time, but I couldn't do it. I was a coward. I didn't want to face my addiction, but I finally did. Now, I'm starting to get better, and I won't allow you to ruin this for me. I mean it."

"I've been so scared and worried about you and knowing that Joey knew what was going on and didn't say anything…"

"Because of me, damnit! How many times and ways do I have to tell you that it was me, Ross. Only me. I made the decisions. I set the ground rules. Joey did what I asked him to against his better judgment. But it was me, Ross. All me. Not Joey and certainly not Chandler."

Ross held up his hands. "Don't…don't even get me started on Chandler."

"There's nothing to say about him. He wasn't even here when all this went down, and he's been nothing but helpful and supportive since he found out."

"And dragged you to California with him where you ended up in the hospital."

"Again, Ross, you are not listening. My choices. My decisions. All of them. Why can't you understand that?! Why do you insist on blaming Joey and Chandler for my actions, my mistakes, my screw-ups?"

"Because of what you said earlier," Ross said, starting to become emotional. "Damnit, Monica, you don't think I know you could've…died! Died! Think about that. We could've lost you because of your addiction. You don't think that scares the hell out of me. I love you. You're my sister. I should've been there to help you, and I wasn't."

"Because I wanted it that way," she said, her voice quieter as she realized her brother had been scared. Because of her. "I couldn't tell you, Ross. Hell, I couldn't even face you. Or Rachel. Or even Phoebe, for that matter."

"But Joey was your savior? How does that even compute?"

"We were both here. He saw. He knew. I couldn't keep it from him, and then I realized I didn't want to. I knew I needed help. I just knew it couldn't come from you. I'm sorry, but that's how I felt."

"Monica," Ross said, taking a step closer to her, "I wish you could've come to me. I'm sorry for whatever I did or didn't do that made you unable to come to me. If we had lost you…"

His voice broke and Monica saw genuine concern on his face. She hated that she had done this to her brother, but she also knew she couldn't take it back and probably wouldn't have done anything different if she could have because that was how she felt when she'd started taking the pills.

When he gathered her into his arms, she let him. She knew she couldn't undo the past, but maybe going forward, because of what she had gone through, a better, healthier relationship could be formed.

"I'm sorry, too," she said. "Like I said, Ross, this is all my fault. I felt the way I felt, and no one was going to change my mind. You had your own busy life and so did Rachel. Now that I'm facing my fears, maybe we can have a better relationship going forward."

"I want that, Monica. You're my sister. I want to be part of your life, in good times and in bad."

"You need to respect my decisions," she said. "Whether you agree with them or not."

"Okay," he said, stepping away to look at her. Really look at her. "I think I can do that."

"Are you sure, Ross? Because there are a couple of announcements you're going to hear, and I need to know you will be okay with them even if it's not what you want to hear."

"I'll try," he said, wondering what Monica might announce and knowing he and Rachel had an announcement of their own to make.

"I want you to apologize to Joey and Chandler."

"Wait. What?"

"They didn't do anything wrong. You made certain assumptions that were not correct. You need to apologize to them, Ross. They are your friends, remember?"

"They didn't do anything wrong? They both made horrendous mistakes where you were concerned. How can I apologize to Joey for letting you continue to take pills and Chandler for taking you away when you needed us most? This…this makes no sense."

An exasperated Monica folded her arms in front of her and stared at her sibling.

"You haven't heard a word I've said."

"Yes, I have. But Monica…"

"Forget it, Ross. You're supposed to be the smart one. If you can't figure this out, I can't help you. I'm going back to Joey's."

When she opened the door, Ross, standing behind her, put his hand on the door, and shut it. He turned her around so she was facing him.

"This is what you really want?"

"Yes, but if you apologize, I want you to understand why you're doing it. Don't do me any favors. If you can't understand…"

"Monica," he said, realizing he needed to apologize to his friends and move on, "tell Joey I'd like to see him."

Monica gave a small triumphant smile that Ross couldn't see as she headed for Joey's apartment to tell him her brother wanted to talk to him.

"You wanted to see me?" Joey said to Ross when he entered Monica's apartment.

"Yeah. I…I need to tell you I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you the other day. Monica made sure I knew it was all her and that you were trying to help and trying to get her to tell us what was going on. I'm sorry, Joey. I should've realized you were doing what Monica wanted you to do. We all should've realized that. I hope you can forgive me. I don't want us to fight. I want us to be friends."

Joey smiled.

"Apology accepted. I don't wanna be fighting with you either. Especially with the news Rachel just told us. I hope you don't mind she told me and Chandler she's pregnant. We couldn't be happier for you guys."

Now it was Ross' turn to smile.

"That…that's fine. I knew she wouldn't be able to wait. She is so thrilled. I am, too, of course."

"I know you are. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks, Joey. And again, I am sorry I came down so hard on you."

"We're cool. C'mon. Let's go back with the others. There's pizza waiting for us."

"Actually, I need to talk to Chandler. I have a feeling Monica will want to be present, too."

* * *

"You're pregnant?!" Monica exclaimed and then hugged her friend who could not stop smiling.

"Yes. We found out a few days ago. I couldn't wait to tell you."

"I'm so happy for you, Rach. Everything is okay?"

"So far. I'm in the high-risk category, but my doctor said there's no reason to believe everything won't be fine."

"That's great," Monica said and hugged her friend again.

She was happy she could feel genuine joy for her best friend and her brother, and she knew that had a lot to do with feeling better physically and emotionally, not to mention Chandler and Adrianna being in her life.

Joey entered his apartment ready to tell Chandler that Ross wanted to see him and saw the smiles on his friends' faces which made him smile.

"Monica, Rachel told you her news?"

"Yes, she did. I'm so happy for all of them."

"Me, too."

He hugged Monica and then told Chandler about Ross.

"He thought you might want to be there, too," he said to Monica.

"I do. But before we go, Chandler and I have some news we want to tell you, Rachel. We'll tell Ross, too."

She moved to stand next to Chandler who wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her close.

"We're together," she said, her smile reaching her eyes as she beamed with happiness.

"Not just together," Chandler clarified. "We're in love."

Monica looked up and he kissed her.

"Oh, yeah, that, too," she said and gave a gleeful laugh.

"I'm so happy for you guys, too," Rachel said.

More hugs and laughter and a few tears of happiness ensued as they all basked in the good news they had heard.

In Joey's bedroom, Adrianna asked Emma why the adults were squealing.

"My mommy's gonna have a baby," she said. "She probably told Aunt Monica."

"Really? Are you happy?"

Emma nodded.

"I get to be the big sister. Ben will be like the best big, big brother ever."

"Yeah. My daddy and Monica are together. Maybe they told your mommy."

"Wow. Are you happy?"

"Yeah. I like Monica. They smile and hug a lot. I like that."

"Are they gonna get married?"

Adrianna shrugged.

"Do you want them to?"

She shrugged again. "I dunno. Maybe."

Emma smiled.

"I think it'd be great. We'd be like…like one big family."

Adrianna's blue eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah. They'd all hang out and we'd have fun. We'd do things together. Aunt Monica is great to hang out with. She does all these neat things. Well, she did until she got sick. And you know how Uncle Joey is. And now we have Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Mike and your daddy."

"We'd all be together?" she asked, not used to being around a lot of people at once but liking the idea that Emma called Mike her uncle.

Did that mean she could, too?

"Oh, yeah. It's fun. You'll see."

* * *

Monica and Chandler entered the apartment and found Ross pacing in the kitchen.

"I thought maybe you weren't going to come," he said.

And then he noticed the smiles on their faces.

"Rachel told you our news?"

"Yes," Monica said and hugged her brother and then playfully punched his arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought we'd tell you together once we had cleared the air."

"We're happy for you, man," Chandler said.

"Thanks. Look, Chandler, I don't want to be at odds with you. I realize I should be thanking you for being there with Monica. You didn't know what was going on when you asked her to go to California. I know my sister makes her own decisions. I should've known better. And whatever really went down with you and Monica when you left is between the two of you. My sister looks healthy and happy and that's what I care about. I'm sorry I tried to make things more difficult for you and Monica."

"Thanks, Ross. You're right. Your sister does have a mind of her own, and she made a lot of these decisions."

"So she told me."

"I wish I had made better choices," Monica acknowledged, "but at least I have a second or maybe it's a third chance to make things right."

"And I'm very grateful for that," Ross said.

"Me, too," Chandler said.

"Me, three," Monica added and then reached for Chandler's hand to entwine her fingers with his.

The move was not lost on Ross who coughed to clear his throat.

"You…you mentioned something about an announcement," he said to his sister.

"Yes," she said, looking at Chandler and smiling brightly. "You tell him."

"While we were in California, Monica and I fell in love. We're together, Ross, and we couldn't be happier."

"Wow, you guys. I…I had a feeling something was going on between you two. If you're happy, then I'm…I'm happy for you."

The trio embraced, and it felt right.

"We're good?" Ross asked.

"We're fine," Chandler replied.

Monica agreed.

"Good. I guess we should get back to Joey's. I would like at least one piece of pizza."

"Can you give us a minute?" Chandler asked.

Ross smiled. "Sure."

After he left, Chandler leaned against the back of the couch, reached for Monica's hands, and pulled her to him so he could study her lovely face.

"How are you really doing?" he asked, as he stroked her hands.

Enjoying his touch and his concern, she gave him an honest answer.

"I'm fine. Totally fine."

"You look fine. In fact, you look radiant."

A hint of red tinted her cheeks at Chandler's complimentary words. He seemed to know just the right things to say.

"A month or two ago, I know I would not have been able to hear Rachel and Ross's news without wanting to curl up in a corner and cry, but now, I can truly be happy for them and that makes me feel so good."

Chandler held her and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

"I love you so much," he said. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you are in a good place."

She looked up at him and smiled.

"You know you're one of, if not the, main reasons why, right?"

He grinned and let his index finger trail the side of her face.

"I was hoping, but it's nice to hear."

"I love you," she said and framed his face so they could share a passionate kiss.

When they heard a light knock on the door, they reluctantly broke apart.

"We'll be right there," Monica said.

"You know what we're going to have to do, don't you?" Chandler asked.

Monica thought she knew, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"What?"

"We are going to have to plan another 'alone' night. Very soon."

Monica gave him a sly smile and then kissed him again to let him know she couldn't agree more.


	28. Chapter 28

Hi! I hope it's still appropriate to say "Happy New Year!" I can't believe I ended up taking a totally unexpected almost two-month hiatus from this story. I won't go into detail, but let me just say I will never, ever take good health for granted again! I know this chapter is short, but I just needed to write something and post it. I've been thinking about this story and wanting to be able to write it, but this is the first I've really felt like I can do this again. I have more ready to write so, hopefully, I will post the next update a lot sooner than two months from now. Take care and thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing! I appreciate all of you so very much!

* * *

Chapter 28

"'Mornin'," Joey said to Chandler as he exited his bedroom and saw his friend sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey. You're up early. Did I wake you?"

"Nah," he said, standing on the opposite side of the island while pouring coffee into a mug.

"I noticed you haven't been going out much at night. I hope I'm not interfering with your love life. Tell me if I am."

"You're fine. I've really enjoyed this past week. It's been fun to hang out like we used to."

"Agreed, but you must be missing the ladies and the New York City night life."

"Not so much. I know this is gonna sound weird, especially coming from me, but I've been thinking more and more about Christy. I miss her."

"Yeah?" Chandler said and smiled. "Look at you."

Joey grinned and then shrugged.

"I know, right? Hey, maybe I'm growing up."

"So what're you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Call her, I guess, and see how it goes."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Monica announcing that breakfast was being served. This was a routine they had quickly gotten into and one they all enjoyed immensely.

While they were sitting at the table, Monica told Chandler and Joey she had decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner and wanted to invite everyone. Chandler caught her eye and started to say something but decided to wait until they were alone.

"Monica said I can help make dessert," Adrianna told them.

"Well, you'll definitely be learning from the best," Joey said and smiled.

"Thanks, Joey."

"No argument from me," Chandler added.

"We're going to have a baking lesson today," Monica said. "Is it okay if I take Adrianna to the store with me? We're going to stop by Rachel and Ross' to pick up Emma so she can join us. They have to go somewhere so I told them I'd babysit. I told them to come by later for dinner. Hope that's okay."

"Sure. Sounds good."

"I'm going to clean up the kitchen and then get ready to go."

"I'll do it," Chandler offered, "after I get Adrianna ready to go with you."

"Thank you."

When Monica and Adrianna went to their rooms, Chandler asked Joey if he would take Adrianna to his apartment so he could talk to Monica alone.

"Of course. Something wrong?"

"I hope not. Did Monica seem kind of, well, manic to you?"

"No. She seemed excited, happy. You know she loves to cook Thanksgiving dinner, and she seems really happy to have her little assistant chef. They seem to be getting along fine, don't they?"

"They do, and I'm grateful for that. I just want to make sure Monica isn't doing too much too soon."

"Maybe she's feeling that much better and wants to take advantage of it."

"I hope you're right, Joe."

When they were alone, Chandler drew Monica into his arms and asked her if she was all right.

"I'm fine. Why?"

"I just want to make sure all of this isn't too much for you. You haven't stopped since you returned. How's your back?"

"My back is fine. I feel great. Maybe you're concerned because you haven't seen me this happy in a long time."

Chandler grinned. "Maybe. Is that what this is?"

She returned his grin. "I'd like to think so. I'm very happy, Chandler, and I want to enjoy this feeling for however long it lasts."

"Maybe I can help with that, too," he said, and then they shared a slow, passionate kiss that left them only wanting more.

"I love you," Monica said, and then couldn't resist initiating one more long, lingering kiss that had Chandler thinking about nothing but the bedroom.

Monica smiled with deep satisfaction before telling him to take his time before returning to Joey's apartment. Chandler good-naturedly threatened his brand of revenge.

"I look forward to it," she said, her smile reaching her shining blue eyes which caused Chandler to grip the back of the kitchen chair so he could steady himself as he watched her sashay her way across the hall.

He knew whatever control he thought he possessed was slipping away. Fast. And he knew he'd have to do something about that. Soon.


	29. Chapter 29

Hi! Happy Valentine's Day (said in any other voice but Janice's - LOL!)! Thank you for your reviews to my last chapter. I know it was super short. This one isn't much longer, but there is some Mondler playfulness towards the end. :-) Thanks again for all of your wonderful support. I'm hoping to really get back on track with this story and write some longer chapters! Take care and enjoy the day (and, hopefully, the chapter)!

* * *

Chapter 29

Adrianna and Emma enjoyed their afternoon baking with Monica. They made brownies, and both girls couldn't wait for their parents to taste them.

"And Uncle Joey," Adrianna added while Emma nodded.

"And Phoebe and Mike," Monica said. "I invited them to dinner, too."

"Wow," Emma said, looking at the younger girl. "Everyone will know how good they are."

Monica laughed. "Let's hope they think so."

"They will," Emma said with confidence. "You're the best, Aunt Monica."

"Thank you," she said, giving her niece a hug.

"I missed you. I hope we do this again."

"I'm sure we will. You're going to help at Thanksgiving, right?"

"Okay. Can I stay here tonight?"

"It's fine with me, but you have to ask your parents."

"I'll call so they can bring my stuff."

While Emma was on the phone, Chandler and Joey entered the apartment and were treated to the sweet aroma of brownies baking in the oven.

"Are they almost done?" Joey asked excitedly.

"You hafta wait," Adrianna said, shaking her index finger at him. "They're for dessert."

"One baking lesson," Joey complained with a twinkle in his eyes," and she looks and sounds exactly like you, Monica. No fair!"

"That's 'cause I'm a good teacher."

"Do brownies go with Chinese food?" Chandler asked.

"Yeeesss," Joey answered.

"Sure," Monica said. "Why?"

"Because I don't want you cooking a full meal for everyone tonight. We'll order Chinese and get together at Joey's apartment."

"Okay, but I'm fine."

"I know you are. Just let us do this. Okay?"

"Of course."

Chandler smiled at her. "Thank you."

She returned his smile. "You're welcome."

* * *

After the food had been consumed and the conversations were flowing, Adrianna noticed the door to her father's room had a slit across it and asked him what happened.

"Oh, funny story. Joey?"

"Yeah, I did that with a power saw when I was trying to build an entertainment unit," Joey said, which led to the sharing of other stories that brought back great memories for the six friends.

"You guys are super silly," Emma declared.

Adrianna agreed.

"But we had a lot of fun," Rachel said.

"And don't worry," Ross added. "You two are going to do some pretty silly stuff, too. Just wait."

The girls looked at each other and laughed.

"Maybe," Emma said. "But not as silly as you guys."

"You never know," Monica said.

"I can get them started on the silliness," Phoebe said. "Can Mike and I take them to our place tomorrow? Frank, Leslie, and Chandler will be there. They can all meet and get to know one another before the wedding. It'll be fun!"

"You know someone who has my daddy's name?" Adrianna asked.

Phoebe nodded. "Yes. She's my niece."

Adrianna looked at her father in confusion. "She?"

"Oh, another funny story. "

"I'll tell it. I'll tell it," Phoebe said before anyone else could speak.

The two young girls looked at the attractive blond with rapt attention. They couldn't wait to hear this story.

"We know some very strange people," Emma said to Adrianna after Phoebe had explained how her niece had come to be named Chandler.

She giggled and nodded. "We sure do."

"You're talking about your parents," Ross said.

Emma and Adrianna laughed. "We know."

"Are you sure you can handle these two tonight?" Chandler asked Monica as the group stood to stretch their legs and clean up.

"Yes. I know they'll probably talk and giggle for a while, but they'll be asleep before you know it."

"For your sake, I hope so. Say goodnight, Adrianna. It's way past your bedtime."

"Same for you, Emma," Rachel said.

When Adrianna was about to say goodnight to Joey, he knelt down and grinned at her.

"What?" she asked, starting to blush.

"I saw what your boyfriend did."

"Uncle Joey, shhhh," she said, looking around to make sure no one could hear him.

"He gave you a hug. I saw that. And now tomorrow, you get to spend the day with him."

"And the others," she said.

"Make sure you behave yourself," Joey teased.

"Stop it," she said.

"Do I have to rescue my daughter from her favorite uncle?" Chandler asked.

"No," Adrianna said. "We were sayin' goodnight."

"Yep," Joey said, straightening his stance. "Just sayin' goodnight."

"Okay," he said, not sure he believed their explanation but wanting to get Adrianna ready for bed. "I'll be back in a little while."

"Take your time," Joey said. "It's still early in California. I think I'm gonna call Christy."

"Good luck," Chandler said and he meant it.

* * *

"You were right," Chandler said, sidling up to Monica from behind to wrap his arms around her waist and nuzzle the nape of her perfumed neck, "they are both sound asleep."

She smiled and leaned in closer. "Told you. They have so much fun together, but I knew they had to be tired. I'm sure it was exciting for them to be included with the adults."

"You think they think we're adults?" Chandler asked and chuckled.

"Well, as close as they know," Monica returned and then grinned.

She turned in his arms so she was facing him.

"I'm having the best time. It's like everything is new. Even hearing those stories that I know so well sounded fresh and funny and pretty unbelievable. Did we really do and say and experience all those things? It feels like a lifetime ago."

"I agree. You don't know how many times I'd see something or hear something and think about you guys, and then, nothing. I knew no one else would understand. I'm not sure I'm going to like everything Adrianna finds out about the life her old man used to live, but I think this has been good for her."

"She'll handle anything she hears because she loves you that much."

"You are very good for my ego. Have I told you that lately?"

He leaned in for a kiss that Monica gladly and passionately returned. She never realized how right she felt in his arms. How perfectly they fit together.

"I don't want you to leave," she said, a bit breathless as she laid her head against his solid chest.

"Babe, you read my mind."

With a saucy grin, she took his hand and led him towards the sofa where they both sat.

"I know, technically, we can't do anything because we don't know which little munchkin is going to come out of that room, but we can be here together, right? And maybe get cozy and comfortable and, you know, do a little of what comes naturally?"

"If I do a little, I'm not going to be able to stop," Chandler warned, even as he had already pulled her closer and was stroking her upper thigh with the pads of his fingers.

"We are adults, right?" Monica reiterated. "We can stop."

"I think we sorta established that maybe we're not that adult," Chandler countered.

"For this," she said, even as she was already running her tapered fingers through his hair and straining to get as close to him as she physically could, "we can be grownups."

"If you say so," Chandler said, realizing neither one of them believed it or could probably do anything to stop if they tried.

Fortunately for them, the girls slept peacefully through the night. Chandler and Monica, however, did not. But they sure had a lot of fun!


	30. Chapter 30

Hi! Thanks again for your kind reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm trying to get to Thanksgiving. LOL!

* * *

Chapter 30

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, Monica had plenty to keep her busy. She and Chandler had talked about it, and she decided to wait until after the first of the year to return to the restaurant. When she'd seen her doctor the previous week, he said she was doing well but that if she wanted to remain off work for a few more weeks, he was fine with that. Relief washed over Monica at her doctor's words. She had been so sure she wanted and was ready to return to work, but once she was back in her apartment and had started taking care of Adrianna, she realized being a chef could wait a little while longer.

The fact that Adrianna was feeling more comfortable around Monica helped her nurturing side. Seeing the little girl respond to her made it easy for the dark-haired beauty to spend more time with her and plan activities that also included Emma. She couldn't help but to smile when she watched them together. They got along so well and even when they disagreed, it wasn't long before one or the other was ready to be friends again. Despite everything that had happened, she knew Chandler was a fortunate man. She sensed her lover knew it, too.

Chandler.

Monica smiled and sighed contentedly as she thought about him. She wouldn't have believed how their lives had intertwined and how great things were for them. They didn't have enough alone time, but she knew it would be different with Chandler having a child and temporarily living with Joey, and she was fine with that. It just made the time they did spend together that much more special. They loved each other and were together and that's what was most important as far as Monica was concerned.

Her happy thoughts were interrupted when Joey bounded into the apartment and joined her at the kitchen table where she was preparing a salad for that night's dinner.

"Hey, Joey."

"Hi, Mon. Can I ask a favor?"

She eyed him warily. "Depends on what it is."

"Thanksgiving dinner. Is it okay if one more person is here?"

"Again, it depends," she said, but this time with a sly smile. "Who's the guest?"

"Well, Christy and I have been talking a lot lately, and she mentioned she had some time off but didn't have any family to spend Thanksgiving with, so I sorta, well, you know, I mentioned how great it is to spend Thanksgiving here. She seemed to like the idea, so…"

"You want to invite Christy to have dinner with us?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"Sure. It's funny, actually, because I was going to ask …"

Monica stopped when she realized what she had been about to say.

"You were going to ask what?"

"I was, well, I was going to mention her to you," she said.

Joey gave her a questioning look. "You were?"

"Yes," she said, now quickly slicing tomatoes for the salad. "Chandler mentioned you had been talking about Christy a lot, so I thought maybe you'd like to spend Thanksgiving with her."

She looked up to see if Joey was buying her explanation. It seemed as though he was.

"That was so nice of you, Mon. Thanks. I'm gonna let Christy know."

"Great. I'll plan on one more for dinner."

"You're the best."

Monica breathed a sigh of relief once Joey had left. That was too close. She was going to have to talk to Christy to find out if they could ever reveal their relationship. What if things got really serious between her and Joey? Surely, he would suspect _something_. Wouldn't he?

* * *

Two days before Thanksgiving, Monica received the most unwanted surprise of her life.

In the middle of the afternoon, while Adrianna was taking a nap, Monica answered the knock on her door and almost fell backward when she saw Richard standing in front of her, looking very solemn but still very handsome.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked, feeling as though she needed to sit down.

"May I come in?" he asked.

"Why?" she repeated. "Why are you here?"

He saw her legs begin to falter and entered the apartment to help her to a kitchen chair.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I don't need your help."

But she sat down and accepted the glass of water he placed in front of her. She did feel as though she might faint. _Why was he here?_

"I know I'm the last person you want to see," he said, taking a seat across from her.

"You got that right," she said, after she had taken a few sips of the cold water. "So don't get comfortable in that chair because you won't be staying long."

"Monica, I just found out what happened to you. I had to see for myself that you are okay. I would have never wished any of what you've been through to happen to you. Your dad filled me in when I returned from being out of the country. I just had to make sure you are okay."

"As you can see, I am fine, so that effectively ends any obligation you may have felt towards me and my well-being. You are free to leave. Good-bye."

Monica rose; Richard remained seated.

"I said you can leave."

"I know, and I will. I just…I…" he shook his head and sighed.

"Don't say anything else. There's nothing to say, there's nothing to talk about. It's over, Richard. Looking at you now, I realize it's finally, truly, honestly over."

Just as he was about to speak, the door of the spare bedroom opened and Adrianna emerged, carrying Timmy her bear. Richard did a double take when he saw the adorable blue-eyed girl with the curly chestnut hair.

"Adrianna," Monica said, quickly making her way to her. "I'm sorry, honey. Did we wake you?"

She shook her head.

"Who's that?" she asked, pointing in Richard's direction.

"This is a friend of my parents," she said, her tone anything but warm. "He just came by to say hi, but he's leaving. Isn't that right, Richard?"

"Yes," he said, realizing Monica honestly wanted him gone. "You're right, Monica. It is over. For what it's worth, I am glad you seem to be doing okay."

"I'm doing better than okay," she said, keeping Adrianna close to her side as she looked directly at him. "I'm doing great. My life has never been better."

"Glad to hear it."

He had taken one long stride towards the door when it opened and he came face to face with Chandler.

"What the…"

Chandler stopped when he heard Monica's cough. A quick look in her direction and he saw his impressionable daughter watching him with interest while clutching her bear.

"Richard," he said instead, using every ounce of self-control he possessed to try to be civil. "What are you doing here?"

"You know him, Daddy?"

That question solved the mystery of the little girl for Richard. He also couldn't help but wonder about the relationship between Monica and Chandler even though he knew it was none of his business.

"Yes. I've met him once or twice."

"Monica doesn't like him."

Under any other circumstances, Chandler would have probably laughed out loud at his daughter's innocent but oh-so-loaded comment, but this was not the time.

"Is that right?" he said instead.

Adrianna nodded. "She told him to leave."

"Did she? Well, then, I really don't understand why you are still here," he said, his blue eyes darkening as they pierced into Richard.

"I was about to leave," the older man said, beginning to understand the dynamics of what he was witnessing, "when you opened the door."

Chandler stepped aside. "By all means, do not let me stand in the way of your leaving. Good-bye!"

Richard left without another word. Monica raced to Chandler and let him hold her. He felt her tremble within the security of his arms and kissed the top of her head while holding her close.

"He just showed up," she said. "Without warning. I did not invite him. I swear, Chandler, he was the last person I wanted to see."

"It's okay. He's gone. Everything's all right."

He had so many questions, but they would have to wait. For now.

* * *

After dinner and after Joey asked, Monica gave him the keys to her Porsche so he could pick up Christy at the airport. As he drove to JFK, he couldn't believe how excited he was at the thought of seeing her again. He had been with many women; and when he'd first met her, he hadn't thought much beyond the idea of having an attractive and nice lady in Northern California whom he enjoyed being with, but the more time he spent with her, the more he came to realize how much he had grown to care for her and how much fun they had together. They actually had a lot in common, which surprised and pleased him.

After pulling into a space and parking the car, he practically ran towards baggage claim where they had said they'd meet. A few minutes later, he found himself smiling as he watched her descend on the escalator. Her wavy auburn hair hung loosely about her shoulders. Her emerald eyes fringed with thick, dark lashes brought out the light tan of her heart-shaped face. The designer jeans drew attention to her long, shapely legs, and the forest green pullover sweater accented her entire face and showed off her natural, curvy beauty. Joey couldn't stop looking at her until she was finally standing in front of him, smiling and waiting for a welcoming hug which she received in record time.

"I'm so happy you're here," he said and realized just how much he meant it.

"I'm happy, too. This place is crazy, but so alive. I'm already getting caught up in the frenetic pace you talked about. I thought I was going to be trampled just getting on the escalator."

"We'll get your bags, and then get ready for more craziness as I drive us into New York City. It's gonna be fun!"

Christy laughed at his boyish ways that endeared him to her and shook her head as Joey wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a quick but meaningful kiss. He couldn't wait until they were alone.

* * *

"You were quiet at dinner," Chandler said to Monica as they sat on the couch after Adrianna had gone to sleep. "Still upset about Richard's visit?"

She slid closer to Chandler, laid her head on his chest, and ran the pads of her fingers across the fabric of his shirt.

"It was just so unexpected. I never thought I'd see him again. At least, not on purpose, and in my apartment. I knew there was always a chance I'd run into him, but when I opened the door and saw him…"

Monica closed her eyes and breathed in the woodsy scent of Chandler. She was so grateful to have him in her life. She didn't want to think about Richard, much less spend any more time talking about him.

"What?" Chandler coaxed. "Monica, you can be honest with me. I promise I won't freak out. What did you think when you saw him?"

"I wanted…I wanted to slam the door in his face, but instead I faltered. I tried to be strong, I really did, but I…I almost fell, and he had to help me to the kitchen table. I felt so foolish. It was as if he still had some kind of power over me, but he doesn't, Chandler," she said, looking up at him to make sure he knew she was telling the truth. "It's just…in that moment, a lot of things came rushing back at me, and I…I couldn't handle it. But I will get past this. I will. And I will be stronger for it."

"You're right," Chandler said, placing a soft kiss on her temple. "You will get past this, and it will make you stronger. Thank you for telling me what happened."

"I love you so much," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and gazing into his eyes. "I want to share everything with you. Thank you for not freaking out."

"I probably would have," he admitted, "but I saw the look of frustration and maybe a little bit of anger on your face when I arrived. I knew you weren't happy, and since I'm such a child, your unhappiness made me happy. How bad am I?"

"Very bad, Mr. Bing," Monica said and then laughed. "But I love every bit of badness you have."

"Maybe you can cure me," he said, positioning her so that she was practically lying on top of him.

She moved in so their lips were mere millimeters apart and whispered she would do the best she could right before she melded into him and his soft but demanding lips. Once that happened, all coherent thought was gone.


	31. Chapter 31

Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing the last chapter. Here is the latest chapter. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 31

The next morning when Monica sat up in her bed, she felt a twinge in her lower back and had trouble rising.

No, no, no, no, she thought frantically as she carefully maneuvered her way around the room. This cannot be happening. Not today of all days. She had so much to do. Why was this happening?

She stopped and took a deep breath. Everything would be okay. She would will the pain to go away. She had to. She could not be having this trouble. Not again. She refused to allow it.

She slowly made her way towards the door and opened it, grateful to see no one was in the immediate area. She crossed to the kitchen and saw the coffee had finished brewing. She opened the refrigerator door, took one look inside, and knew she would not be able to cook breakfast. She hoped Chandler and Joey were okay with eating cereal because that was about all she could manage.

She sat down and rested for a few minutes, and then she saw Adrianna emerge from the bedroom and said good morning.

"'Mornin'."

"Would you like some orange juice and cereal?"

"'kay."

Adrianna sat at the kitchen table. Fortunately for Monica, she had already set the table and didn't have to get up, but her movements were slow and deliberate as she prepared Adrianna's breakfast. She saw the little girl watching her every move and tried to smile through her discomfort.

"Gonna shop today?" she asked, after swallowing a spoonful of cereal.

"I think so."

Monica didn't want to disappoint the little girl who had been looking forward to helping Monica buy the preparations for their turkey dinner, but she didn't think she could handle watching her and grocery shop at the same time.

Adrianna's next words were halted when Chandler entered the apartment and said a hearty "good morning."

"Morning," they both said.

"Joey asked me to return your car keys," he said to Monica as he placed them on the counter.

"He's gone already?"

"You could say that," he said.

She understood what he was trying to tell her.

"I hope you don't mind cereal for breakfast. I didn't cook anything."

"Actually, I have a breakfast meeting I need to get to. Are you both okay?"

Adrianna nodded after Chandler hugged and kissed her and told her to behave for Monica.

"I know you're going to be busy," he said, smiling as he directed his attention towards Monica and then turned back towards his daughter. "So I want you to do whatever Monica tells you to do and don't get in her way, okay?"

"I won't."

"I love you," he said.

"Love you, too."

"I really have to go," he said, giving Monica a chaste kiss and motioning that he would call her later.

Grateful that Chandler was in a hurry, Monica tried to relax in the chair as she sipped her coffee. She may have been able to fool her lover, but one look at his daughter told Monica she had not fooled her.

"Don't feel good."

It wasn't a question.

"I'll be okay. We might just get a later start than I planned."

"Tell Daddy."

Monica felt bad she hadn't mentioned it to Chandler, but it sounded as though he had a busy day ahead of the four-day weekend, and she didn't want to worry him. This would go away. It would.

Her response was interrupted by the unexpected but welcomed arrival of Rachel and Emma.

"Hey, Mon," the blonde beauty said as they entered the kitchen.

"Rachel! Are you not working today?"

"No. Emma doesn't have school so I decided to take a vacation day. You know Friday is going to be crazy busy, so I'm taking off today to prepare for Friday's expected madness. We thought maybe we could help you."

"That's so sweet. Thank you. Maybe the best thing you can do to help me is to watch Adrianna. At your place?"

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked, looking for signs that something was wrong. "Don't you think we'd be more help here?"

"I think I'll be okay if I work by myself. Adrianna and Emma, and you, of course, can help me tomorrow, but today, maybe it'll be better if I get what I need and get the preparations ready by myself."

"If you're sure?" Rachel asked, not convinced they should leave Monica alone but not sure why she felt that way.

"I'm sure."

She tried to stand and had to hold on to the table so as not to fall.

"Your back," Rachel said, when she saw Monica trying not to wince. "Your back is bothering you, isn't it?"

"Just a little, but I'll be fine. I just have to rest for a little while and put some heat on it."

"I'm not leaving you," Rachel said. "Does Chandler know? Joey?"

"Chandler's at work, and Joey is already gone for the day. I'll be fine. Really I will."

"Where's that heating pad?"

Monica let Rachel tend to her, and then she told her she would be all right. Rachel hesitated to leave until Joey and Christy entered the apartment.

"Joey, are you going to be across the hall all day?" Rachel asked, after introductions had been made.

"No. That's why we came by. I have to see my agent about a possible audition, and I don't want to leave Christy alone. Mon, can she stay here with you?"

"Sure."

"That's perfect," Rachel said, clapping her hands. "Christy, you can watch over Monica and help her. I'll take Adrianna for the day so you can get done what you need to, and then call me when you're ready for us to return."

"Thanks, Rach. I really appreciate this. Christy, you don't mind being with me?"

"No. But are you okay?"

She noticed the heating pad on the couch.

"I woke up with slight, very slight, back spasms, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

_If only I had a pain pill I could take._

Monica cringed inwardly that she'd even let that thought enter her mind.

"Did you tell Chandler?" Joey wanted to know.

"No. His day is busy, and I'll be fine. Please, everyone, stop fussing over me. I'll be fine."

"I'll be with you," Christy assured Monica and the rest of them.

"I'll help Adrianna get ready," Rachel said.

"I have to go see my agent, but I'll call to find out how things are going. Call Chandler," Joey insisted, and then kissed Christy before leaving.

Adrianna let Rachel help her, but she wasn't happy. They filled her backpack with what they thought she would need for the day, and then entered the living room to find Monica still resting on the couch. Rachel wanted to ask if she was okay, but she knew her friend did not want to hear it.

"We're ready," she announced instead.

"Thanks, Rach. I really appreciate this. You guys have fun," she said, directing her comments towards Adrianna, who was looking forlorn.

She nodded. They started to walk towards the door when Adrianna suddenly ran back to Monica.

"Don't wanna leave you," she said softly.

"Honey, that's so sweet," Monica said, starting to get emotional and not wanting to. "But I'll be fine. Christy is with me. You go have fun."

"Don't be sick," she whispered and tried to hug Monica. "Call Daddy."

"If I don't feel better, I will. I promise. I'll call your father."

"'kay. Feel better."

Once the trio had gone, Monica reached for a tissue and wiped at her eyes.

"I can't believe how emotional I am. What is wrong with me?"

"I was going to ask you," Christy said, taking a seat on the coffee table. "What's going on?"

"I want to blame Richard, but I'm not sure it's entirely his fault."

"What happened with Richard?"

"Yesterday, he showed up unexpectedly. It didn't go well, as you can imagine, and now I have back spasms when my back has been feeling great. Coincidence? I don't think so."

"Does Chandler know?"

"About Richard? Yes. He showed up and practically threw Richard out, which was fine with me. But he doesn't know I'm hurting. I feel like such a coward. After Richard's visit, Chandler and I talked, and I mentioned how seeing him had affected me. I told Chandler I wanted to share those kinds of things with him, and now, look. I'm keeping this from him."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to get through this, and it's not going to keep happening. It's not. I just wish…"

"You wish what?"

"I wish I had one pain pill I could take. Just one. I know this pain would go away so fast."

"And then where would you be?"

"I know. I hate this."

"Speaking as your sponsor, I think you need to tell Chandler."

"I know you're right. It's just that he worries so much, and he'll fuss and freak out a little, and I don't want to put him through that when I know this is going to go away. Because it is."

"So you tell him that. Don't give him a chance to freak out, but let him know, Monica. If nothing else, you need his support. Not to put added pressure on you, but his daughter seemed concerned. You don't want him to hear it from her, do you?"

"No. I don't want to mess things up with her either when we've been getting closer. I'll tell Chandler, but tonight, when he comes home. I really don't want to bother him at work. There's nothing he can do. The heat is helping."

Monica waited another hour, and then she told Christy she felt she could go grocery shopping, as long as they didn't have to rush.

* * *

Since they were at Rachel and Ross' home, Rachel decided to log in and check her work email while the girls played in the family room.

"Wanna see Uncle Joey?" Emma asked.

"Huh?" Adrianna said. "He's not here."

"No, he's here."

Emma found the remote and played an episode of "Days of Our Lives" that Rachel had DVR'd. Adrianna gasped when Joey appeared on the screen.

"He's on TV?" she asked, totally puzzled.

"Yeah," Emma said and giggled. "Mommy watches every day."

Adrianna didn't know what to say.

"That's his job? Like my daddy has a job?"

"I guess. He's on TV."

Adrianna decided she was going to have to tell her father about this. Uncle Joey was on TV? She didn't even really know what that meant, but it sounded exciting. Didn't lots of people watch TV? Did a lot of people know her uncle?

Rachel heard giggling and walked in to find them watching the soap.

"Emma, turn that off right now, young lady. You know you are not supposed to watch TV without permission and without an adult present."

"But I was showin' Uncle Joey to Adrianna."

"I don't care. Turn it off."

"'kay. Sorry."

"Go play in your room where there's no TV. Lunch will be ready soon."

"You think Monica is okay?" Adrianna asked Emma as they sat on the carpet in her room playing with the doll house Monica had given her niece.

It used to be Monica's, and over Rachel and Ross' protests, she insisted it be passed on to her niece the way her aunt had passed it on to her. She was thrilled Emma seemed to love it as much as she had.

"I dunno. Wanna ask my mommy?"

Adrianna shook her head. Rachel had kind of scared her the way she raised her voice at Emma. She hoped her friend wasn't in big trouble.

"You like Aunt Monica now?"

"Yeah. She's really nice. My daddy's so happy."

"You gonna call her Aunt Monica?"

Adrianna shrugged. "Dunno. She's not my aunt."

"Maybe she'll be your new mommy!"

Before the younger girl could answer, Rachel told them lunch was ready. Emma's words stayed with Adrianna.

* * *

Two hours later, Ross arrived home, ready to start enjoying the long weekend with his wife and daughter, and was surprised to see Adrianna.

"I thought you were going to be my sister's little helper," he said, after greeting his family with a hug and a kiss.

"Plans changed," Rachel said. "Monica and Christy decided to do the shopping."

"Who's Christy?"

"Joey's lady friend from California. Remember he talked about her when we were all together. She's spending Thanksgiving with him and having dinner with all of us."

"Have you met her?"

Rachel nodded. "She was at Monica's this morning. Emma and I surprised Monica. We thought we would help, too, but instead she asked me to watch Adrianna which has been fine."

His wife's rush to get out the words was not lost on Ross.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

Rachel sighed. "Don't get upset, okay, but Monica was having back pain. That's why we have Adrianna."

"Did she go to the doctor? Or at least call?"

"Not that I know of. I haven't talked to her since we left. Christy is with her. She had the heating pad. She said she was feeling better."

"And you believed her? C'mon, Rach, this is my sister we're talking about. I'm all for giving her the benefit of the doubt, but Christy doesn't know her. Where was Chandler? Why wasn't he with her?"

"She didn't want to bother him. She said she would tell him later. About Christy? You know what, Ross? I got the feeling she does know Monica. At least well enough to watch out for her. I didn't feel uneasy leaving them."

"I'm going to call."

Rachel handed him the phone. She knew it was what he had to do; and even though his obsessiveness sometimes drove her crazy, it was also one of his more endearing qualities. He pulled her down next to him on the sofa, lovingly patted her still flat belly, and held her close by his side while he waited for someone to answer. Relief washed over him when he heard Monica's rather upbeat voice.

"Hey, Mon. I'm just calling to see how you are."

"Where are you?"

"I'm home."

"Then you know how I'm doing."

"But are you feeling better?"

"I am. Christy and I just got home from shopping. We took our time."

"Is tomorrow going to be too much for you? We can have dinner here."

Rachel looked at her husband in surprise and then nodded. If need be, she knew they could pull it together. Somehow.

"Thanksgiving dinner is going to be here. End of discussion."

"Okay, okay. I have some news about that."

"What?"

"Ben wants to join us, and so do our parents. Are you okay with that? We can all help."

"That's fine," Monica said, starting to wonder if she'd bought a big enough turkey.

Good thing Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food, she thought wryly. And maybe Joey wouldn't get to have three or four helpings of everything. It would all work out. She was feeling better. Spending the day with Christy had helped. She didn't even mind that her parents would be there. She realized they needed to get to know that Chandler and his daughter were in life and weren't planning to go anywhere.

"I look forward to seeing everyone tomorrow," Monica said. "I have to start cooking dinner. You can bring Adrianna here whenever you want or call Chandler. He can pick her up on his way home."

"I thought he didn't know she was here."

"He doesn't, but that's okay. I'm going to tell him what happened tonight."

"If you're sure…"

"I am. Go ahead and call him. He should be leaving soon."

* * *

When Chandler arrived at Rachel and Ross', Adrianna was ready to leave.

"Thanks for taking care of her," he said to the happy couple.

"No problem," Rachel said. "She was fine. She and Emma play so well together. We had fun."

"It was nice for me to see her, too," Ross said. "We…we got to know each other better. I'm glad she and Emma are friends."

Chandler smiled. "Me, too. Thanks again. We'll see you tomorrow."

Chandler waited until they had eaten dinner and Adrianna was in her room before he asked Monica why she hadn't told him about her back.

"I know," she said. "I should have, but I really thought it would ease up, and I didn't want to worry you."

At Chandler's skeptical expression, Monica sighed.

"Okay, okay. That was lame. I just…I really didn't want to worry you, and I was sort of mad at myself that it happened."

"Why?"

"Because I think it was tension that caused it. I tried not to let it bother me, but I think seeing Richard affected me more than I know it should have. I should've told you, Chandler. I'm sorry."

"You most definitely should have. I don't want you keeping things from me. Especially something like this. What if no one had been around and you needed help?"

"I know. I thought about that when you said Joey wasn't home. But everything worked out."

"This time," he cautioned, his tone serious.

She nodded. She knew he was right. At her insistence, he had entrusted her with his daughter. What if something had happened and she wasn't able to help or get help?

"You're right. I took an unnecessary risk. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. I promise."

He enfolded her into his arms and held her close.

"I love you so much," he said into her silky hair. "I know there are going to be times when you don't feel good and your back is going to bother you. You have to tell me, Mon. I want to help and I can help."

She nodded as she rested her head against his chest.

"I will tell you. I felt foolish after you left that I hadn't said anything."

"Is your back really okay?"

"Yes. The heat helped, and I think spending time with Christy did, too."

"You like her?"

"I do. I think she could be good for Joey but, of course, we'll have to see what happens, right?"

They both chuckled.

"Oh, yeah. I wouldn't place any bets on where that relationship might end up."

"They both seem happy. I think that's great."

"Me, too. Do you have a lot of things you need to do tonight? I can help."

"Christy helped me get a head start. I think I'm okay. I thought maybe we could watch a movie."

"Sounds good to me. Let me say goodnight to my daughter."

"I'll make popcorn."

After Chandler helped Adrianna get ready for bed, he asked her to tell him about her day with the Gellers.

"We had fun. I like them."

"I'm glad. I'll have to spend more time with you and Emma so I can get to know her better."

"You'll like her, Daddy. She's nice."

"I already do. Knowing who her parents are, I'm not surprised."

"Daddy, stay here tonight."

"Here with you?"

"No, with Monica, so she'll be okay. Please."

"Monica is feeling better. We talked."

"Stay with her, Daddy. Please. Don't leave."

"Okay," he said, brushing the curls away from her pleading eyes. "I'll ask Monica if she wants me stay."

Adrianna smiled impishly as she snuggled further under the covers. "She will. 'Night, Daddy. Love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart. Goodnight."

He stayed with her until she fell asleep; wondering what was really going on in her mind. He wanted her to remain sweet and innocent, but he knew he couldn't keep her little, no matter how hard he tried.

When he finally emerged from the room, Monica had popcorn and drinks waiting for them.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She said the strangest thing before she fell asleep."

"What?"

"She asked me, almost begged me, to stay with you tonight."

Monica smiled. "Really? That's so sweet."

"I know. And then she got this goofy grin on her face when I said I'd have to ask you. She said she knew you would want me to stay, and she seemed very satisfied, almost smug, about the whole thing."

Monica smiled again and winked. "Sounds like she's picking up more of her father's personality. She's adorable just like you."

"But what does it mean?" Chandler asked, still wanting to decipher his daughter's mannerisms.

Monica linked her arm through his and led him towards the couch.

"I know what it means for me," she said, gazing into his soft blue eyes. "We can be together tonight. We have your daughter's blessing. And that makes me one very deliriously happy woman."


	32. Chapter 32

Hi! Thanks for reading and for your kind reviews! Finally made it to Thanksgiving. LOL! I know where I want this story to go, and there shouldn't be many more chapters, but I hope the characters let me get there! :-) Thanks again for reading!

* * *

Chapter 32

Early Thanksgiving morning, Joey and Christy quietly entered Apartment 19 so as not to wake Chandler; but when Joey saw his friend's bedroom door open, he called out and received no answer.

"That's weird. Where would he go so early?"

"Maybe he's at Monica's."

"Already?"

"Maybe Adrianna needed him."

Joey frowned. "Yeah, maybe. Oh, well. It looks like we have the place to ourselves."

Christy laughed as Joey pulled her in for what turned out to be a wet lingering kiss.

"For now. Chandler could return any moment."

The dark-haired Italian frowned again. "Yeah. You're right. I'm gonna knock on Monica's door. You can make yourself comfortable in my bedroom."

He smiled and pointed her in the right direction before heading across the hall and knocking on Monica's door. Chandler surprised him by answering the door wearing his robe.

"Did you…did you just rush over here? Is something going on?"

Chandler motioned for him to come in and to be quiet.

"Monica's still sleeping, and so is Adrianna."

Joey gave him a quizzical look. "Then why are you here in your robe?"

"I spent the night, okay?" he whispered.

"Really?" Joey sounded intrigued. "How did _that_ happen?"

"Adrianna didn't want me to leave Monica, so…"

"Wow. I'm impressed. Getting your daughter's permission to _be_ with Monica. You lucky dog."

"Stop grinning," Chandler said. "You know Monica and I are together."

"Yeah, but not in her apartment. And with your daughter's okay? This is new."

"Things do seem to be progressing nicely. Now, I just have to make it through Thanksgiving without screwing up."

"Why would you screw up?"

"Monica's parents will be here. I'm already feeling very uncomfortable."

Joey patted his friend's shoulder. "You'll be fine. We'll all be here. It'll be fun."

"I hope so. Where's Christy?"

"In my apartment. She wanted to be here in case Monica needed her."

"Do I hear pride in your voice?"

Joey grinned. "Probably. She amazes me. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean."

"I do, and that's nice."

He steered Joey towards the door. "Go be amazed, my friend. I'll be here for a while. I want to make sure Monica is okay."

Chandler needn't have worried because Monica felt fine and was on top of her game as she enlisted Adrianna's help to begin cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler returned to Joey's apartment to get ready. Rachel, Ross, and Emma were the first to arrive so they could see how Monica was doing and so Emma could help her aunt and her friend.

When Monica began setting aside separate food for Chandler, Ross and Rachel chuckled.

"Chandler still doesn't eat turkey, huh?" Rachel asked.

"Nope," Monica said and smiled.

She really didn't mind. It brought back nice memories for her of other Thanksgivings they had shared in her apartment.

"Why not?" Emma asked Adrianna who just shrugged.

She didn't know, and she didn't ask.

Christy and Joey entered the apartment with Chandler. Monica's eyes were immediately drawn to how handsome her lover looked wearing black pants and a royal blue pullover sweater that highlighted his blue eyes perfectly. She decided to change into her midnight blue dress once she'd finished cooking. She knew they would make a striking couple, and she felt she needed that assurance and sensed Chandler did, too.

He caught a moment alone with her in the kitchen while the others were talking in the living room and stole a quick kiss.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. Everything is moving right along. My two little helpers are so great. They listen to me. I love that. I could use them as an example at the restaurant."

Chandler laughed. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"I feel great. I really do. I'm sure your spending the night has something to do with that."

He nuzzled her neck and whispered against it. "I'm happy to help. Any time."

Feeling tingly from his warm breath on a sensitive area of her skin and loving the feel of it, she moved in closer and spoke softly against his ear. "I'm finding it very hard to concentrate. Do you know how handsome you look and what you're doing to me?"

"I need to be near you. I'm wondering how much time we'll be able to be together once your parents arrive."

"We'll sneak away," she said, wishing they could disappear that very moment. He had to have known he was turning her legs to jelly. "To Joey's apartment, the balcony, the hallway…"

"I love you," he said and finally reluctantly broke away when he heard Ross' voice.

"Ben's on his way," he announced, and then pocketed his cell phone.

"Great," Monica said, after she'd caught her breath.

Chandler smiled and nodded.

"I'd better go join the others unless you need me here."

She smiled. "You know I need you, but yeah, for our sanity and my dinner, you'd better go into the living room."

Ben, who was now a teen-ager, entered the apartment with Phoebe and Mike, who Ben had met on the staircase.

He said hello to Rachel, his dad and Emma and then gave his aunt a warm hug and told her how happy he was she was feeling better.

"Thanks, sweetie. It's so good to see you. Do you remember Chandler?"

He shrugged. "Maybe a little. You lived with Joey, right?"

"Yes, I did," he said, shaking the young man's hand. "It's nice to see you again."

"Same here."

"Let me introduce you to my daughter."

Emma was more than happy to tell her brother all about Adrianna, and Adrianna thought Ben was really nice, but her interest waned when he started talking with the older men about sports.

Monica was about to announce they could eat as soon as her parents arrived when they entered the apartment. Monica and Ross rushed to greet them. Ross put their coats in the bedroom while Monica made the introductions.

"You remember Chandler, right?" she said, standing close to him.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Geller. It's nice to see you again."

"Do you still hate Thanksgiving?" Jack asked, his mouth twitching as if to keep from laughing.

It's going to be a long night, Chandler thought.

"Dad, it's okay. I've got it covered. Come meet his daughter, Adrianna. She and Emma have become fast friends."

Emma stood and raced to hug her grandparents, which pleased Rachel and Ross. Ben waited his turn, and then gave his grandparents affectionate hugs.

"It's so nice we can all be together," Judy said.

"Yes, it is," Monica said, motioning for her brother to get them something to drink.

"The apartment looks so festive," Jack commented. "And the food smells delicious."

"I guess not working at the restaurant is doing you some good," Judy commented to her daughter. "But I do hope you're planning to go back soon. You look healthy enough to be working. Wouldn't want them to think you're a slacker."

Monica forced a smile as she told her guests she needed to get something from Joey's refrigerator.

"Chandler, can you help me?"

"Sure."

He followed her into Joey's apartment where she stewed for a few minutes.

"Five minutes," she fumed. "That's all it takes now."

Chandler gently caressed the palms of his hands along her arms and told her not to let her mother's words upset her.

"Don't do this, Mon. You need to focus on the good things going on in your life."

She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears. "You're right. If I get upset, my back will probably tense up again. I don't want that. This is my mother. I should be used to this by now. I'm going to march back in there, change into my dress, and be happy if it kills me."

"Just be happy," Chandler said and kissed her lovingly.

"I want them to know we're together and we're happy and that you and Adrianna are a big part and the best part of my life."

"We can tell them," Chandler assured her. "Whenever you're ready."

"I love you so much," she said and returned his earlier kiss with one just as passionate. "We can do this. I can do this. I will do this."

Monica and Chandler returned to her apartment with the pumpkin pie she had baked earlier with the girls' help and then she excused herself to change. When she returned, all eyes stared at her. She looked absolutely stunning in dark blue with her shiny hair flowing loosely past her shoulders. She made her way into the kitchen and began serving the food. The other women rushed to help.

"Mon, you look gorgeous," Rachel whispered.

"Thank you. I had to do this. I have to be strong tonight. I can feel myself reacting to my mom. I won't let her get to me."

"Good for you," Rachel said. "We're here for you. Whatever you need."

"Thank you."

To Monica's relief, dinner went well. There was enough food for everyone, and the conversations flowed easily. Once coffee and dessert had been served, Rachel ushered the two girls into the bedroom and told them to play quietly while the adults talked in the living room.

"So, Ben," Judy asked, "how do you feel about becoming a big brother again?"

"I think it's great," he said. "Even though there'll be a big age difference, I'm hoping I'll have a brother."

"That's so sweet," Monica said.

"I think Emma wants a brother, too," Ross said.

"Well," Judy said, "maybe one day you and Emma and this new baby will have a cousin or two, but I'm beginning to wonder if that will ever happen."

Monica felt herself start; Chandler discreetly placed his hand on her back and rubbed it to try to calm her down.

"Actually, Mom," Monica said, not sure exactly where she'd found the courage but grateful she had, "your wait may not be long at all."

"Really?" Jack said, more intrigued than insulting.

"Yes. I happen to be in a very committed and loving relationship."

"Then why isn't he here?" Judy asked.

Chandler put his fist to his mouth to keep from saying anything. He knew this had to be said by Monica. It was what she wanted and needed to do, although her first words had taken him by surprise. But he chalked it up to her needing to be strong and confident.

"He is here, Mom," Monica said pointedly. "He's been sitting next to me all night."

Realization suddenly dawned on Judy. "You're talking about Chandler, aren't you?"

"Yes. Chandler and I are in love, and we are together."

"Are he and his daughter living here with you?" Judy demanded.

"No. Chandler is staying with Joey, but Adrianna is living with me, and we are getting along very well."

"You're taking care of his child? Why?"

"Because it's easier this way, and I am not taking care of her. Chandler is a hands-on fabulous father. I'm just helping out."

"And is that what the two of you did in California? See, Jack. I told you we should have visited. I knew something was going on."

"We fell in love in California," Monica said, "but it's become more serious since we've been here. We love each other and want to be together. Why is that so hard to understand?"

"It's not, princess," Jack said. "I think it's great. We're just concerned for you. We know you haven't had an easy time in the…well, relationship department, and we worry about you. That's all."

"Chandler has made all that so much easier," Monica said, reaching for his hand and holding it in hers. "We're in love, and we want everyone to know."

"It's true, Mr. and Mrs. Geller," Chandler said, when he felt it would be appropriate to speak and not take anything away from Monica's staunchly spoken words . "I love your daughter very much. I know we had some rough times, but we've worked through our differences, and now we couldn't be happier. My daughter is adjusting very well, and I give a lot of credit for that to Monica. She's been wonderful with Adrianna. I couldn't ask for anyone better to be helping me with my daughter. We are in love and very happy."

"Well, this all sounds very nice and cozy," Judy said, "and if what both of you are saying is true, I have just one question."

"What's that?" Monica asked, trying to brace herself but knowing she and Chandler could never have braced themselves enough when they heard the question.

"Are the two of you planning to be married any time soon?"


	33. Chapter 33

Hi! Thanks, as always, for reading and for your reviews. I'm adding two new chapters. I'm getting there. :-) I hope you enjoy! Thanks for taking the time to read!

* * *

Chapter 33

"Thank you, Rachel," Monica said, giving her friend a heartfelt hug.

She waved off Monica's appreciation. "Oh, sure. No problem. What're friends for?"

"I know why you did it," Ross said, "but you shouldn't mess with things like that, Rach."

As Monica and Chandler fumbled, trying to form a coherent response to her mother's pointed question about impending marriage vows, Rachel diverted their attention by pretending to feel something strange going on with the baby. Concern immediately shifted to their daughter-in-law and son, giving Monica and Chandler a few moments to compose themselves.

Ross, thinking something was really wrong, told Rachel he was taking her to the hospital. With that announcement, the party began to break up. When Judy and Jack wanted to go with Rachel and Ross, she told them that wasn't necessary. Ross agreed. If something was wrong with Rachel and/or the baby, he didn't think he could handle having his parents hovering, as much as he appreciated their concern.

Her earlier question all but forgotten, much to Monica's relief, Judy told them to call and let them know what was going on. Ross assured his parents he would as he escorted them out the door. When he turned around and saw his wife smiling and rubbing her stomach as if everything were fine, the light dawned.

"You're not in distress," he accused, pointing at her tummy.

"Of course, I'm not," she said. "Monica and Chandler needed help. I just provided a little drama to take the heat off of them. No big deal."

Again, Monica hugged her friend even as Ross scowled.

"Don't ever do that again," he said, and then drew her into his arms because he was relieved she and the baby were okay.

"Okay," she said, beginning to understand just how upset her husband had been. "But that was pretty bold of your mother to ask them about getting married in front of all of us, don't you think?"

"I agree. Sorry, Mon, Chandler. I did not see that coming."

"It's Mom," Monica said. "I should've planned for every contingency."

"By the looks on your faces," Rachel said, "I think you two have some things to discuss, so we're going to leave."

Once the Geller family had left, Monica began clearing the table and washing the dishes. Chandler stopped her and turned her around to look at him.

"Shouldn't we talk about what your mother said?"

She sighed. "I suppose, but we really don't need to have this conversation tonight."

"I think we do. C'mon, let's sit down."

He held her hand and led her to the sofa.

"You start," she said, wondering exactly what his feelings were on the subject of marriage. Or more to the point, marriage with her.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, I will. I'd be lying if I said the idea of marrying you has never crossed my mind because, believe me, it has, but...I don't think we should get married right now. It's not that I don't want to…"

"I agree," Monica said, cutting him off midsentence. "I love you, Chandler, but I know we are not ready for marriage. You don't even have your own place."

"Which is something I'm working on," he said. "It's just that this has been so convenient and nice, but I do want my own place for Adrianna and me."

She nodded. "I think that's great. I knew this was only temporary. I knew I wouldn't have you living across the hall from me indefinitely. I never planned to have Adrianna long term. Of course, this wouldn't last. We both knew that, right? Right? "

He reached for her hands and lightly caressed them with the pads of his thumbs as he searched her face to see where this sudden bout of anxiety had come from. "You seem to be getting worked up. The last thing I want to do is upset you or make things more difficult."

"You're not," she said, even as she felt her joy at their relationship deflating a bit, "it's just that maybe my mother is right. Maybe I should go back to work. It's what I had planned to do. I probably shouldn't be spending so much time with Adrianna. She should be in preschool around other kids her age to develop her social skills like you had talked about. I'm going to call my doctor on Monday and tell him I'm ready to go back to work. I think that's best."

"Of course," Chandler said, even as he saw how much her mother had gotten to her. Again. "You need to do what you feel is best, Mon. I would never want to stand in the way of that."

"Good, because this isn't reality, right? What we've been doing is what Ross and the others have said I would do. I wanted an instant family to play house with. But that isn't what this is. This is my life we're talking about, and my parents made me realize I have some very important decisions to make. I can't keep doing this, Chandler. I fooled myself with Richard, but the stakes are way higher this time. I can't fool myself with you and your daughter. I would never forgive myself."

"Monica, you're not doing that. We are in love, and that is very genuine. I'm not in this until it no longer feels good or to hurt you or be hurt, and I know you're not either. If you need to make other choices, I get that. I'm fine with that. But I will not let one conversation with your mother make you think this is all fluff and no substance because that's simply not true and you cannot believe that it is."

"I know I have to make some changes. For me. Beyond that, we'll see what happens."

"So, now, suddenly, you're saying we're 'we'll see what happens?'"

Monica felt her stomach muscles tighten with dread and fear. She did not want to be having this conversation with the man she loved with every fiber of her being, but she felt she had to. She had to know what was truly real and what was going to last.

"You need to find your own place, and you need to be with your daughter. We have to stop playing house, Chandler. I need to get back to my reality, and you need to get back to yours. It's the only way this is going to work."

She pulled away from him and stood her ground. He rose from the couch and saw the serious look on her face and in her beautiful sapphire eyes. He knew her mother had gotten to her and that he wouldn't be able to reach her. At least not on this particular night. So, he did what he had to do.

"Fine," he said, heading for the door. "I'll find a place tomorrow, and Adrianna and I will move out as soon as possible. I wouldn't want us to be the reason you have a 'messed up reality', whatever the hell that is."

As soon as she heard the door slam, she sank onto the sofa. What had she said? What had she done? In her first moment of clarity, she wanted to run after him and tell him not to listen to her, that she didn't know what she was talking about, but she knew she couldn't do that. She had spoken the words and now she would have to deal with the consequences.

* * *

"Hey," Joey said, early the next morning when he emerged from his bedroom wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, "why aren't you at Monica's?"

"We had a stupid fight last night."

Joey grinned as he sat on a bar stool. "All that marriage stuff? Yeah. What was _that _all about?"

"I don't know, but her mother managed to get to Monica. Again. Now, she's questioning the 'reality' of our relationship. What the hell does that even mean?"

Joey shrugged. "You got me."

"Well, Adrianna and I will be moving out next week. I already called my boss, and they're getting the apartment ready in midtown Manhattan."

"Aww, man. Is this what Monica wants? Why does it have to change?"

"Monica wants to go back to work. Adrianna should be in preschool. It's what I had initially planned. I never meant to stay this long. It just seemed like it was working, but now it's not."

"But you guys are gonna be okay, right?"

Chandler sighed. "I hope so. I thought we were until last night. See, this is why I absolutely hate Thanksgiving. Nothing good ever happens on Thanksgiving!"

Chandler's raised voice woke up Christy who emerged wearing a pair of faded jeans and one of Joey's buttoned down shirts.

"Sorry," Chandler said when he realized he had probably awakened her.

"No problem. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just talkin' about some stuff that happened with Monica last night."

"Is Monica all right? Maybe I should see her."

Chandler shrugged. "If you want to. I'm taking Adrianna with me for the day. Give Monica a break."

"Joey and I were going to sight-see today, but I was hoping Monica, Adrianna, and I could go shopping tomorrow. I can just imagine how great it would be to Christmas shop in NYC. I want to experience everything."

Joey smiled at her enthusiasm and drew her close to him. He loved that she was wearing his shirt.

"I'm sure Monica will go, and probably Rachel, too, but I wouldn't count on Adrianna. I'm keeping her with me."

"We'll spend the rest of the weekend at the hotel," Joey said. "You and Adrianna stay here."

"I don't want to kick you out of your home," Chandler said.

"No problem. We'll have more fun at the hotel."

"I'm definitely out of here next week."

"That's your call. I would never tell you to leave. "

"I know, and I appreciate that, but it's time."

* * *

"Wanna talk?" Christy asked Monica an hour later after Chandler had told Adrianna she was going to be staying with him in Joey's apartment and they had moved all of her things.

Monica set two mugs filled with hot tea on the kitchen table and nodded.

"Things got pretty intense last night," Christy said. "Sounds like even after we all left."

"Yeah. I said some things to Chandler. I'm not sure I meant them, but I said them, so on some level, I must believe in what I said, right?"

"Makes sense to me."

Monica shook her head. "This is crazy. Yesterday, I was happy. Really happy. Life was good. Everything was fine. Now, suddenly, I'm doubting every decision I've made. How can this be?"

"What really scared you, Monica? Was it your parents, in particular, your mom, or is something else going on?"

Monica sighed after taking a sip of her tea. "I think it's me. I think it's being back here. I knew it was going to be hard to come back. I told Chandler I knew this and that I was going to need his help. Things were easier in California. I kinda wish we were still there."

"You'd rather be in California? Is that what's going on?"

"I don't know," Monica said, running the tip of her index finger along the rim of her mug. "Maybe. Things seemed more settled there. Chandler had the house and his job. Adrianna had her home. It's where we fell in love. I wasn't freaking out about my mom. Am I crazy? Am I certifiable?"

Christy laughed softly. "You're not crazy or certifiable. You're just not sure. There's nothing wrong with that, Monica. You've been through a lot."

"I love Chandler. I care so much for Adrianna. I just…I feel I have to be so careful. I can't make the same mistakes I made with Richard. If I blow this, it will literally kill me. I've never been happier and, now, I've never been more terrified. When is this all going to end?"

Christy looked at Monica and saw her struggle. She wished she could do more, but she knew she couldn't. Monica had to figure out this one for herself. And only then would she truly be at peace.

"Only you know the answer to that question, my friend."

* * *

"Is Monica okay?"

Chandler and Adrianna were eating lunch at a midtown café. He needed to get out of the apartment complex, and it was an unseasonably nice day in New York City. He told Adrianna they could watch the ice skaters at Rockefeller Center after lunch.

"She's fine."

"She's not here. I had to leave."

"Don't you want to spend time with your dad?"

She nodded and took a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich.

"We're going to move into our own apartment next week. I'll show you the building."

"'kay."

Chandler sighed. "I know this is a lot, but when we moved here, it was with the understanding we would have our own place. Staying with Monica and Joey was just for a while. Our things have arrived, and now we need to move in."

She nodded.

"Miss them," she said softly.

"I know, honey, but it's not like you'll never see them. You will. You've had people coming in and out of your life for a while now. I know it's not easy. When we get back to Joey's, why don't we call your grandparents and Nancy and see how they're doing? Would you like that?"

She brightened a little at that idea. "Yeah. Miss them, too."

Stephanie's parents had called on Thanksgiving, but Chandler had chosen to ignore it. Now he realized maybe that hadn't been the best choice. He decided he had to start thinking more about what his daughter needed.

* * *

Sunday afternoon, the friends met at Central Perk to have coffee with Joey and Christy and to say good-bye to her. She was catching her flight back to the bay area later that day.

"I've had the best time," she said, hugging each of them.

"Hope you won't be a stranger," Phoebe said. "Hey, come back before the new year. We can shop again or spend New Year's Eve together. How much fun would that be?"

"It would be awesome," Mike said. "I might even have a gig, and you can all come."

"Oh, yay," Phoebe said. "Let's do that!"

"Pheebs, I'm not sure Christy will be able to come back so soon," Joey said.

He loved the idea, but he didn't want to put any pressure on her.

"Would you like it if I came back?" she asked him, hoping she knew what his answer would be because she was definitely interested in returning.

She already missed him, and he was sitting next to her.

Joey couldn't keep the smile from his handsome face. "Are you kidding? I'd love it!"

"I'll work on it," she promised him and the others. "It sounds like it would so much fun to spend New Year's Eve in Manhattan with all of you."

* * *

Joey couldn't help but to feel a little sad when the movers came later that week to pick up Chandler's and Adrianna's packed boxes. Even though he and Christy talked every night, it wasn't the same as being with her, and now his best friend and daughter were leaving. He knew this was a good thing, but he also knew he was going to miss them like crazy.

"Thanks for everything, Joe," Chandler said and gave his friend a hug. "It was great hanging out with you."

"Same here. Come by any time. I mean that."

"Bye, Uncle Joey," Adrianna said when he knelt down and enveloped her in a bear hug. "Gonna miss you."

"Miss you, too, but we'll see each other. It's not like you're going back to California."

She nodded.

"Can you watch her for a minute?" Chandler asked. 'I need to go across the hall."

"Of course."

* * *

Not sure what to expect since they hadn't been spending as much time together, Chandler entered Apartment 20 and found Monica rearranging the ornaments on her Christmas tree.

"Some things will never change," he said with a soft chuckle.

She turned at the sound of his voice. He saw she had been crying and rushed to her side.

"Mon, what's going on?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I just heard a Christmas carol that made me cry."

He wasn't sure he believed her, but he decided not to push.

"Are you leaving?" she asked, looking up at him as if she never wanted to let him go.

Which she didn't, but she knew she had to. After all, she'd started this.

"Yeah. The movers just picked up our boxes. I'm going to take Adrianna to the new place and begin to get settled in."

She nodded.

"Chandler, I…"

"Monica…"

"You first," she said.

"No, you. Talk to me. What do you want to say?"

"I just…I want you to know I hope you don't think I minded taking care of Adrianna or having her stay with me because I didn't. I enjoyed having her here and you living across the hall. My emotions got the best of me the other night, but I honestly do think this is for the best. We have to get back to the lives we were living so we can know if what we have will last. I need to get back to my routine, and you need to establish yours."

"You're right," Chandler said, surprising Monica, although she wasn't exactly sure why.

"I am?"

"Yes. I thought more about what you said, and I agree. I love you, and I want to be with you, but I'm in this for the long haul. We live here now. Sooner or later I was going to have to move into that apartment and enroll Adrianna in preschool and school. There are practical things I need to do. And you need to go back to work and have your apartment to yourself. I get that."

Monica shook her head as tears gathered in her eyes. "I was so afraid I'd messed this up. I mean, I believed in what I said, but I didn't want it to sound like an ultimatum. I just…I need to be sure about us, Chandler. As sure as I can be. I'm not there yet. I'm sorry."

"I realized I'm not either. You were right when you said the stakes are high. I don't want to blow this any more than you do. It would kill me."

"I feel the same way. This is too important to me. You and Adrianna are too important to me. I have to be sure."

Chandler nodded. "I get what you're saying, but I have to tell you one thing before I go. You are my reality, babe, and I will never stop fighting for us because we will be together. How we get there I'm not exactly sure, but I know one thing and it's this: we are destined to be together, and I will not allow this to end any other way."


	34. Chapter 34

Hi! Here is Chapter 34. Hope you enjoy and thanks very much for reading! :-)

* * *

Chapter 34

The fact it was the holiday season helped Monica as she adjusted to being back at work. The usual heavy crowds, along with private parties, kept her focused, and shopping during what little spare time she had kept her from thinking how much she missed seeing Chandler every morning and taking care of Adrianna throughout the day.

During the second week of December, after a particularly hectic day at _Javu_, she arrived home to find Joey waiting for her wearing a huge grin.

"What's up, Joe?" she asked, almost too tired to make polite conversation.

"Something came for you. I put it in your apartment. Check it out! Check it out!"

More amused at her neighbor's enthusiasm than curious about what waited for her inside; Monica nevertheless opened the door and feasted her eyes on a beautiful bouquet of Christmas-themed flowers on display on her kitchen table in what looked to be a very expensive crystal vase. She reached the gorgeous and sweet-smelling flowers and saw there was a card. Removing it from its plastic holder, she opened it. Her eyes misted when she read it.

"It's from Chandler," she said, turning to look at Joey, who from all appearances, seemed to know this.

"I know. What does the card say?"

She laughed and shook her head. "He wants to take me on a 'real' date whenever I'm available. That's so sweet."

"Are you gonna go?"

"Of course. I'd love to go on a date with Chandler."

"Good," Joey said, beginning to back away towards the door. "Call him. And don't change your mind!"

"Silly man," Monica said out loud, as she inhaled the scent of a particularly vibrant red rose and then plucked it from the bouquet so she could feel its soft petals against her cheek. "Why would I not want to go on a date with Chandler? I think it's one of his more romantic gestures and long overdue."

* * *

Two nights later, Monica felt like a school girl going on her first date. She changed her outfit three times; finally settling on a mint green halter dress with a black wrap she hoped would keep her warm in the chilly December air. She combed her tresses into an upsweep with ringlets on either side. Chandler had told her they were going to dinner and a play, but he didn't tell her where. She tried to think of upscale restaurants in the theater district but decided not to dwell on it. She would enjoy being surprised, both with the restaurant and the play.

A light rap on her door a little while later surprised her; but when she answered it, a smile lit up her face when she saw Chandler, looking very dashing dressed in a light brown suit with a white shirt and a sky blue and white-striped tie.

"Hello, Monica," he said, trying to sound very formal. "I am here to pick you up for our date. I must say you look elegant."

She smiled as she twirled for him to get the full effect of her dress and tried to play along. "Why thank you, kind sir. You look quite handsome yourself."

She reached for her black clutch and wrap.

"May I?" Chandler asked, extending his hands to take the shawl from her.

"Thank you," she said, feeling tingly and giddy as he deliberately took his time placing the soft material around her bare shoulders and arms.

When she felt him move in from behind, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"You're wearing the perfume that drives me crazy," he said, his breath warm against her ear.

"Oh?" she said coquettishly. "I had no idea. It just happens to be my favorite."

But inside she smiled. She most certainly did know the sweet but airy scent drove him mad. She was banking on it.

"May I?" he asked again, and this time offered his arm which she gladly accepted with a small curtsy.

"What a gentleman you are," she said and kissed him on the cheek.

When they walked outside, a sleek black Lincoln town car waited for them.

"Tonight, we travel in style," he told her and then helped her get settled in the back seat.

Once they'd gotten comfortable, he directed the driver to the theater where the latest Tony award-winning play was taking place.

"I thought a late dinner seemed more appropriate," he whispered to his date, who nodded in agreement and who was glad she had eaten a little something before leaving the restaurant.

The performance was spectacular; they both enjoyed it and shared their favorite parts during the ride to the restaurant, which turned out to be in an out-of-the-way area in the Village.

"Italian," she said, as the maître' d seated them at a corner table near the back, at Chandler's request. "How did you know I'd be in the mood for pasta?"

"A lucky guess," he admitted. "Is this okay?"

"This is wonderful," she said, after taking a sip of her red wine. "This has been the best night, Chandler. Thank you."

He smiled, enjoying her happiness and seeing her eyes light up as bright as the Christmas decorations they'd passed along the way.

"I started thinking maybe this is what we've been missing."

Monica noticed him toying with the stem of his wine glass as he spoke. She knew that meant what he was saying was very important to him. She gave him her full attention.

"Just dating, like a normal 'real' couple. We sorta went from becoming friends again to lovers, with not much in between. Not that I mind that part in the least," he assured her. "But when you said you needed to be sure and needed to know what was real, I started thinking maybe we haven't had enough romance. You know, the simple things like dinner and a movie without any distractions. What do you think?"

Moved by his words, she reached for his hand and ran the tips of her manicured fingernails along his warm skin. "I think I'm amazed but thrilled you thought of this. All on your own?" she couldn't help but ask.

She saw his cheeks redden slightly and knew he'd had some help. She didn't care. She was just happy he'd decided to "date" her. She loved and appreciated what he was doing. For her. For them.

"I can't take all the credit and, again, it's mostly thanks to you. It turns out the preschool Adrianna goes to is the same one a coworker takes her daughter to. She wanted Adrianna to spend the night, and she told me I needed to hit the town and let loose. She said I've been wound too tight, and it's been noticed at work. When she said that, I knew what I wanted to do. Rachel and Phoebe helped with the details because, of course, I did not want to mess this up, and, well...here we are."

Monica continued to hold his hand as she gazed into his twinkling eyes that reminded her of the lights on her tree. "It's fabulous. I am having a wonderful time. Thank you."

* * *

Once dinner had ended, they rode to The Plaza and had a nightcap at the piano bar. There wasn't much of a crowd which was fine with them. While they slowly nursed a second drink, a well-known love ballad played in the background; Monica asked Chandler to dance.

"Aren't I suppose to ask you?" he said.

His grin gave him away.

"I'm feeling particularly bold," she returned, with a toss of her head, "so please? Dance with me?"

"And I can resist this how?" he asked, and then escorted her onto the dance floor.

He thought she'd never looked more beautiful and radiant. How happy he was to hold her in his arms and feel her taut body swaying to the music.

They fit together perfectly, just as she knew they would. They always had. Even when they weren't getting along particularly well, there was still something drawing them to each other. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes as she let him glide her around the floor with the romantic music playing as if just for them. Everything was perfect. She wanted for nothing. She knew things wouldn't always be perfect, but she also knew this was as close to heaven as she was going to get on this earth_. Why were they wasting so much time when they had so much to look forward to?_

* * *

The night ended where it began, at Monica's apartment. Chandler asked if she wanted to stop at Central Perk, but she declined. She did, however, invite him into her apartment. As soon as she closed and locked the door, they came together and began to ravish each other as if they hadn't been together in months instead of just a couple of weeks.

"I've missed you. I've missed this," she said, tearing her lips away from his just long enough to utter those words before she led him into her bedroom by the tie she knew was about to become history.

Oh how she would love taking her sweet time undressing and teasing him.

She had a long day ahead of her the next day, but at that moment, she did not care. With her lover working his magic, she knew her night was about to get a lot more perfect, not to mention exhilarating, and she could hardly wait.

* * *

As dawn broke and a fully satiated Monica realized she'd gotten maybe an hour of sleep, one thing was very clear to her as she lay draped in the warm cocoon of her lover's arms, the sheets half off and tangled around their intertwined legs: this was her reality, and if she hadn't known it before, after the night they'd spent experimenting and coming together in so many different ways she'd lost count, she certainly knew it now.


	35. Chapter 35

Hi! Thank you for continuing to read and review! I appreciate all of you very much! :-) Here is another chapter. I hope you enjoy! :-) Thanks again for taking the time to check out my story!

I've been reading and following a good story on FFNET about Joey. He's another of my fave characters, and in this story, he steps up big time when tragedy strikes his sister Dina. If you have a chance to check it out, I recommend you do! I couldn't figure out how to do a link, but the title of the story is: **My Goddaghter**. Thank you! I know the author would appreciate your support very much. :-)

* * *

Chapter 35

"This is nice," Monica said, as she, Phoebe, and their hostess Rachel sat in the spacious, well-lit kitchen enjoying a Saturday brunch.

"I think so, too," Phoebe said. "Can you believe our men and Joey are Christmas shopping? Wouldn't you just love to see how _that's _going?"

The trio shared a hearty laugh.

"I give them credit," Rachel said, in between bouts of uncontrollable laughter, as she tried to imitate her husband's voice, "at least they're out there braving the crowds like real men."

"Ross said that?" Monica asked and laughed.

Still chuckling, Rachel nodded and then took a sip of her tea. "He can be so clueless sometimes, but I do love that man something fierce, so what does that say about me?"

"Um, that he better buy you a really nice present," Phoebe said. "Or at least something he knows you should _want_ to have to exchange."

After another round of laughter, Monica spoke.

"Hey, guys, I want to thank you for helping Chandler plan our date the other night. It was fantastic."

"Aww, honey," Rachel said, patting her friend's hand, "we were happy to do it."

"Speaking of clueless," Phoebe said and rolled her blue eyes.

Monica couldn't help but smile a little. "I know. I could tell you two gave him a lot of help or at least good pointers for which I am forever grateful. I think it got us back on the right track."

"You were never off the track, Mon," Phoebe said. "You just needed a push to move forward."

"We've all been there," Rachel added. "You guys are gonna be fine."

"Isn't it great we're all in love?" Phoebe said.

Monica couldn't help but notice their friend's words caused Rachel to look at the beautiful solitaire diamond and gold wedding band that adorned her slender finger, and Phoebe just smiled like the woman in love she was when she gazed at her sparkling stone. Monica quickly glanced at her own bare third finger on her left hand and sighed inwardly. She would wear a ring, too, one day. Wouldn't she?

"Yeah," Monica finally answered, "and I hope the next date goes well. I'm returning the favor Monday night. I'm working the lunch shift so I can cook a special dinner for him. I want this date to be as romantic as the one he planned."

"If you're cooking the meal," Rachel said, "I'm sure it will be. Me? I'm just thankful the deli around the corner had what I wanted for this breakfast."

They all enjoyed another good laugh.

"Did you get a Christmas card from Christy? Ooo, that sounds musical," Phoebe said. "I love her. If Joey messes this up, I may have to pound on him. I think she would be a great addition to our group."

Rachel nodded and so did Monica.

"I so hope she can come back for New Year's Eve. If she does, we gotta plan somethin' really special," Rachel said.

"And I have to get the night off," Monica lamented.

"Of course you'll have the night off," Rachel said, as if there was no doubt about it.

"I just went back to work, Rach," her friend reminded.

"But you're the head chef," she countered. "You can do whatever you want."

Monica laughed. "Don't I wish. But it'll be okay. I have some time to work on it. I definitely do not want to work on New Year's Eve."

"If you have to, maybe you can work the lunch shift," Phoebe said.

"Maybe. But I think there's a huge private party that night, and you know what that means."

"Call in sick," Rachel said.

"And then be seen partying a few hours later? I don't think so, Rach."

She waved off her friend's concern. "Everything's gonna be fine. You'll see."

Sometimes Monica wished she had her friends' more carefree attitude about things, but she knew that was not how she was wired and probably never would be. Still, it was fun to lighten up every once in a while and just go with the flow. Maybe she would do that on New Year's Eve.

Monica excused herself to use the bathroom.

"I have to leave soon," she said on her way. "I hope I get to see Emma."

Rachel glanced at the wall clock. "Yeah. She should be home by now. Her sitter, Leilani, wanted to take Emma to her ice skating lesson. I forgot to tell you Adrianna's with her. I think Emma wanted to show off for her."

"Is she coming here, too?" Monica asked.

Rachel nodded. "I have her until the guys get back. Maybe they stopped somewhere to eat."

Monica frowned. "I haven't seen her since they moved. I miss her."

"They'll be home before you leave."

"I hope so," she said and closed the bathroom door.

A minute later she heard a voice that sounded like her niece. She hoped they were home. She had wanted to see Adrianna, but when Chandler didn't mention it, she thought maybe he didn't want her to see his daughter or maybe Adrianna didn't want to see her. Hearing squeals and rapid talking, she knew the girls were home. As she reapplied red lipstick and ran her fingers through her hair, she realized in a matter of moments she would know if Adrianna was happy to see her.

Both girls, their cheeks flushed with excitement and from the cold, were talking to the adults at the same time. They'd had so much fun at the ice skating rink. But when Adrianna saw Monica walking towards them, she broke away from the group and headed straight for her.

"Momm…Monica!" she yelled, throwing herself against the surprised but pleased older woman.

Monica quickly bent down and enveloped her in a hug and told her how happy she was to see her.

"Me, too," Adrianna said.

She smiled and her whole face lit up.

"Miss you."

"Oh, sweetie, I miss you, too. I guess we've been busy."

She shrugged and fell once more into the warmth of Monica's arms as if it was the most natural thing to do. Monica cherished the feeling of holding this precious girl in her arms. She brushed her damp curls and rubbed her back when she said she was cold from being outside.

"Are you with Daddy?" she asked, her voice hopeful.

"No, honey. He's not here. We were having breakfast. I have to leave soon."

"Oh," she said, looking crestfallen.

"I'm going to talk to your dad later. How about if I ask him if we can do something together."

Her face lit up again. "Gonna see Santa tomorrow. You come."

Monica couldn't help but smile. How much fun would that be?

"Okay," she said, straightening her stance when Adrianna finally let her go. "I'll ask your dad."

"Yay," Adrianna said, sounding an awful lot like Phoebe.

"Come on, you two," Leilani said. "Let's get you into some warm, dry clothes."

"Thanks," Rachel said as the sitter led them towards Emma's room.

Once she was certain they were out of earshot, Monica looked from Rachel to Phoebe and back to Rachel, her blue eyes shining.

"Was I hearing things or did she almost call me 'Mommy?'"

"Oh, she definitely almost called you Mommy," Phoebe said.

"Definitely," Rachel agreed. "Mon, she was over the moon to see you."

"I know, but what does it mean? Do you think she almost called me that because I reminded her of Stephanie or because she…she…thinks of me…guys, don't let me go there. I can't let myself do this. Don't let me get excited about this."

"Why not?" the two asked simultaneously.

"This could be the most wonderful thing ever," Phoebe said.

Rachel nodded.

"Or I could be setting myself up for a major disappointment," Monica said. "I can't read anything into this. I can't."

"Tell Chandler," Rachel said.

Monica bit her thumbnail. "Really? You really think I should tell Chandler?"

"Yes!" both women yelled.

"Okay," she said, not certain that was the best plan but not hating the idea either.

After they had talked a while longer, Monica told them she really needed to leave.

"Before I do, though, I want to spend a little more time with Emma and Adrianna. I don't want to disturb their play time, but is it okay if I watch them?"

"Of course," Rachel said.

Monica leaned against the door of Emma's bedroom, silently watching the girls who played so well together. She was thrilled to see they were sitting in front of the doll house she'd given to her niece. They both looked so contented and happy as they moved the tiny furniture around and changed the décor of the rooms. Monica couldn't imagine being that young any more, but she'd give anything just to be able to sit and join them as they had fun and laughed and made up silly stories about their dolls and the house and what they were going to cook in the kitchen. How precious they were.

After watching them for a little while, she let her presence be known. Both girls jumped up and ran to her for hugs when she told them she had to leave.

Emma kissed her aunt and said good-bye. Adrianna lingered, which pleased Monica. She realized she was going to have a hard time leaving her, too.

"Maybe I'll see you tomorrow," she said and gave her one more hug.

"'kay. Bye."

Monica kissed her soft cheek and turned around to leave. When she reached the end of the hallway, she looked back and saw that Adrianna had not moved. The little girl waved and said good-bye again. Monica did the same.

When she reached Rachel and Phoebe, she couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"I don't think she wanted me to leave."

"You're gonna talk to Chandler, right, Mon?" Phoebe asked.

She nodded. "I have to. I think his daughter just stole my heart."

* * *

Later that afternoon before she had to leave for the restaurant, Monica called Chandler and invited him to a home-cooked dinner Monday night. He gladly accepted the invitation.

"There's something else," she said, after a moment's hesitation.

"What?"

"I saw Adrianna at Rachel's. She said you were taking her to see Santa tomorrow and thought maybe I could come along?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes. I think it would be fun."

"Great. We'd love to have you. We'll pick you up late morning."

"Sounds good. Chandler…"

"Yeah?" he said when she didn't say anything else.

He couldn't help but notice how wistful her voice sounded.

"I have something else I need to tell you, but I want to do it in person."

'O-kaaay," he said, not sure what that meant. "Is this good news or bad news?"

"I'm not sure. I think it could be good news, but I need to know what you think."

"Mon, this all sounds very ominous. What's going on?"

"I don't want to say over the phone. I need to see your reaction when I tell you this."

"Are you going to Rachel and Ross's make-your-own taco night?"

"I'd love to. It sounds like so much fun, but I'll probably get off work too late."

"Well, we'll be there. What if I come by the restaurant before you leave so you can tell me your news."

"Okay," she said, sounding very happy. "But you're coming alone, right? Not that I don't want to see Adrianna, but I want us to be alone when I tell you this."

"I'll be alone," he assured her.

The conversation ended with Chandler feeling a mixture of excitement and dread. Monica's words played over and over in his mind. What could she possibly have to tell him that was so important she had to do it in person to gauge his reaction? And she didn't want Adrianna to hear. Knowing that even though they'd been very careful, unexpected unplanned things still happened, he could think of only one thing. Was Monica going to tell him she was pregnant?

* * *

By the time he arrived at the restaurant, all kinds of scenarios had played in his head, but he kept coming back to the idea Monica was pregnant. He couldn't get it out of his thoughts; and if he were honest, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Of course, this wasn't exactly the way he thought things would go, but what did work out for him the way he planned? Not much as far as he could tell. He was Chandler, after all.

When he walked through the restaurant towards the kitchen, he saw the dinner crowd had thinned. That was good as far as he was concerned. He hoped Monica could take a break, maybe a nice long break, so they could talk without being interrupted. If her news was what he anticipated, he knew there would have to be at least a few serious conversations.

Monica smiled and turned away from the stove when she heard his melodious "hello."

"All tacoed out?"

"You could say that. Everyone missed you and said to say 'hi.'"

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there. I bet it was fun and festive."

"It was. Mon," he said, looking around at the almost empty kitchen, "can you take a break outside, even though I know it's freezing, so you can tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?"

Monica grinned. "I've got you curious, huh?"

Chandler gave one of his patented nods. "You could say that."

"Sure. Let me grab my coat so I don't freeze, and we'll go outside."

Once outside, they huddled near the back entrance because it was a very brisk but clear night.

"I'm sorry if I sounded strange or mysterious on the phone, but something like this has never happened to me, and before I let myself even think about what it could mean for our future, I had to tell you."

Those words made Chandler brace himself even more for the news he now totally expected, almost wanted, to hear from Monica.

"Please tell me what it is."

Monica smiled. "Don't think I'm crazy, okay, but maybe you already do. Anyway, today at Rachel's when Adrianna came back, she saw me walking towards the kitchen, and she ran to greet me, Chandler. We all said she was ecstatic to see me, and I was so happy to see her, too. But when she first started running towards me, Chandler, she…she almost called me 'Mommy!'"

"Really?" he said. "You're sure you heard that?"

"We all did. I confirmed it with Rachel and Phoebe. But I don't know what it means. Did I remind her of Stephanie or did she want to call me…me…her mommy. What do you think? I had to tell you. I need you to help me with this."

"Okay," he said, realizing this was Monica's news.

He needed a moment to compose himself because he wasn't sure what he honestly felt: relief or regret?

"What's wrong?" she asked when a few moments passed and he hadn't said anything. "You look like I just said something horrible. Is this horrible? Do you think I'm nuts? Tell me, Chandler. Please."

He reached for her cold hands and tried to warm them with his. "No. Of course, I don't think you're nuts. This could be huge, Mon. It's just that…"

"What?" she prodded, punching his well-padded jacketed upper arm as she jumped around trying to stay warm. "Tell me!"

"The way you phrased your sentences when we talked made me think you were going to tell me something entirely different. That's all. But I'm glad you told me about Adrianna."

Monica studied his handsome face and knew he was not being totally honest with her.

"Chandler," she finally said. "What did you think I was going to tell you?"

He sighed and shook his head. "If I tell you, you're gonna think _I'm_ crazy."

"No, I won't. Tell me."

"I thought…well…I wondered…aw, hell, Mon, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant."

Monica needed a moment or two to digest those words.

"You thought I was going to tell you I was pregnant?"

"Yes. I couldn't think what else would make you sound so mysterious and we had to be alone and it was something very important about our future."

Monica nodded slowly. "Yeah," she said, a smile beginning to form on her lips, "I guess I could see how _you_ might have jumped to that conclusion based on what I said. So tell me, Mr. Bing, what would your response have been if I had told you I was pregnant?"

"I would have been thrilled," he said without hesitation and smiled when Monica looked at him in surprise and happiness.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Actually, when I did hear your news, I couldn't decide if I was relieved or sorry. If you had told me you were pregnant, it would've changed a lot of things, but I would've been happy."

"You never cease to amaze me, do you know that?"

"I love you, Monica. I told you I believe we are destined to be together. I didn't always think or believe that way, but I do now."

"Maybe someday, my sweet, wonderful man, I will be able to tell you you're going to be a daddy again."

"When that happens, it will be one of _the_ happiest days of my life."


	36. Chapter 36

Hi! Finally posting another chapter! Thank you so much for sticking with this story through what, unfortunately, has become long lapses in adding chapters! :-( Hope you enjoy! Thanks, as always, for reading! :-)

* * *

Chapter 36

Monica, dressed in black wool pants with a red top and a scarf of multiple shades of green, greeted her guests with a hug when they entered her apartment the next morning.

"You look very Christmassy," Chandler commented.

Adrianna nodded excitedly. Monica noticed she could hardly stand still.

"Thanks. I'm getting together with my family later to celebrate Hanukkah, so I thought I'd dress more appropriately for this outing. I'm ready when you are."

"We're ready," Chandler said, "as soon as my daughter uses the bathroom."

"Don't hafta go."

"I don't care if you don't hafta go, you're gonna go."

"But I don't…"

"Go! And wash your hands. And don't use any of Monica's fancy towels."

"'kay."

"Um, she can use my fancy towels. That's why I have them out for the holiday season."

Once the door closed, Monica, with one eyebrow raised, turned to Chandler.

"Problem?"

He sighed and ran his hands over his face. "She's driving me crazy."

"She's excited. Isn't that a good thing?"

"I know. It is. I know it is. Last year, we weren't even thinking about Christmas. I know this is the first year she's really into it, but did she have to wake me at 6:00 a.m.? She was ready to go. She would not stop talking. And she hasn't even had any sugar!"

Monica laughed and ran the pad of her index finger down his smooth cheek.

"You'll survive. She'll survive. It's only a few more days."

"I know you're right," he said, capturing her hand in his and kissing the back of it. "I just wish she would calm down. A little."

"Since she's been so hyper, you haven't had a chance to ask her about almost calling me mommy?"

Chandler frowned. "No, I'm sorry, I haven't. But I will. I will let you know what she says."

"Thank you."

They turned when they heard the door open.

"Pretty towels. I'm ready!"

"Let's get this show on the road," Monica said, feeling a bit giddy, too.

* * *

To Chandler's relief, and maybe Monica's, too, the line wasn't long to see Santa, and Adrianna managed to behave after a stern warning from her father. When the perky elf called her to sit on Santa's lap, she went willingly while Monica and Chandler stood off to the side in case she needed them.

When Santa asked what he could bring her for Christmas, she pointed towards them.

"See the pretty lady?"

"Indeed I do," Santa said.

"I want her for my new mommy."

When Chandler and Monica saw Santa and Adrianna looking at them, they smiled and waved.

"Why are they looking at us?" Monica asked.

Chandler shrugged. "Who knows what my daughter asked for?"

"You know what," Monica said, lowering her voice. "A little more padding and that Santa suit would look _good _on you."

Chandler grinned. "Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah."

He lowered his voice even more and leaned in closer. "If I were wearing that suit, what list would your name be on: the nice or the naughty one?"

"Definitely the naughty one," she said and grinned.

"I knew it."

"You wouldn't want it any other way, would you?"

Lost in their conversation, they didn't notice the cute elf motioning for them to join Santa and Adrianna.

"Take a family picture," she said.

"Oh, I don't think we should…" Monica said, looking to Chandler.

"I think we should," he said and told Santa's helper they'd be right there.

"Chandler, are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Very. You don't know who that Santa is?"

Monica peered closer, trying to figure it out, but wasn't sure.

"Not really."

"It's Joey. I wasn't sure how comfortable Adrianna would be, so I made sure he was working as Santa and that's why I brought her here. It'll be a fun picture to have. I never thought I would have a child who would be sitting on Santa's, aka, Joey's lap. C'mon. Let's do it."

And so the family picture was taken, and someday, Adrianna would know exactly whose lap she was sitting on when she asked for Monica to be her new mommy.

* * *

That evening, Adrianna finally calmed down long enough for Chandler to feed her dinner. She hadn't wanted breakfast and had barely touched her lunch at the mall. She was too enthralled with all of the decorations and window displays to think about food.

"After we eat, we can put the new ornament we bought on the tree, and then I want to talk with you. Okay?"

She nodded; and a little while later, Chandler helped her find the perfect spot on the Douglas fir for her teddy bear ornament. She said it looked just like Timmy bear, and Chandler had to agree. Once the tree was lit and Adrianna had admired it, as she had done every night since they had decorated it, Chandler reached for her hand and led her to the sofa in the living room.

"You can still enjoy the tree," he said, positioning her so she could see the beautiful ornaments and twinkling colorful lights, "but I need to talk to you about something."

"'kay."

"Yesterday, when you were at Rachel's and you saw Monica, you ran to her, right?"

She nodded.

"I want you to be honest with me, Adrianna. Did you almost call her 'mommy'?"

Adrianna looked down at her hands which were folded on her lap. She didn't say anything. Chandler finally tilted her chin with his forefinger so she was looking at him.

"It's okay if you did, I just want to know."

"Yeah, I did," she finally said after squirming for a bit.

"Was it because you were thinking of your mommy or was it because you want to call Monica 'mommy'?"

Adrianna shrugged. "Dunno."

"Sweetheart, I think you do. This is very serious. If you were thinking about your mother, I want to know that, but if you've started looking at Monica differently, I want to know that, too."

"I want Monica to be my new mommy," she blurted out.

Chandler pulled his daughter onto his lap and stroked her hair and then kissed the top of it. "You're sure this is what you want?"

"Yep. She's so pretty and nice. You smile a lot."

Chandler grinned. "And that's a good thing, right?"

She nodded.

"It's one thing to want to call Monica your mommy, but you have to understand certain rules come with that title. If you want Monica to be your mommy, that means she becomes another person of authority in your life. You have to listen to her when she tells you to do or not to do something, and when you are with her; she is your parent just like I am. If you do something wrong and she scolds you, you have to apologize and do what she says just like you have to with me. It won't be just fun times, Adrianna. If Monica is going to be your new mommy, then she gets to discipline and correct you when you misbehave. And you need to listen and learn from her. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Like Emma's mommy did when we were watchin' Uncle Joey on TV."

"You and Emma were watching TV? Alone?"

"She wanta show me Uncle Joey."

"Well, if Monica or I tell you not to do something and you do it, you will be talked to just like Emma was."

"'kay. Can Monica be my new mommy? Please?"

"Well, now we have something different to talk about. Do you know what has to happen for Monica to become your new mommy?"

She shook her head.

"Monica and I need to be married. That means I have to buy an engagement ring for her. Do you want to help me buy an engagement ring for Monica?"

"Yay!" she said, sounding like Phoebe and clapping her hands just like Rachel when she got excited about something.

_What are these women doing to my daughter?_

"Okay. Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Because I don't want you to say anything to anyone about this, all right? Especially not Emma and not Uncle Joey. Got that?"

"Got it."

"And your Christmas present to Monica will be that you ask her if you can call her 'mommy', okay?"

"'kay."

"And we'll say the pearl earrings are from you, too."

"And my picture from school."

"That's right. Monica will have a very special Christmas. We have to get busy looking for a ring."

"Yeah! Is that for Christmas, too?"

"No," Chandler said, an idea already forming. "I have something else planned for when to propose, but you will definitely be involved."

* * *

As soon as Monica opened the door Monday evening, the delicious aromas of a roast cooking in the oven, surrounded by roasting potatoes, and gravy boiling on the stove greeted Chandler as he kissed her and then set the bottle of red wine on the counter.

"I just have to finish tossing the salad and adding a few extra ingredients I know you like," Monica said, clearly in chef mode. "And slice the bread."

"I'll cut the bread," Chandler said. "Wow, Mon, you've outdone yourself."

"I know it's a little much for just the two of us, but I figured Joey can always eat leftovers."

Chandler laughed. "Of course."

Monica locked the door. "But that's for later. I want you all to myself tonight."

"You got me."

Chandler carved the meat while Monica lit the candles and served the side dishes. Once they had been seated and had started eating and taking a sip or two of the wine, Monica calmed down and Chandler felt like he could have a normal conversation with her.

"How was your family celebration last night?"

"Not bad, actually. My parents are still so relieved nothing is wrong with Rachel or the baby, I was pretty much a non-topic, which was fine with me."

Chandler held up his wineglass and smiled at her.

"I can't imagine you ever being a non-topic."

Monica rewarded him with an impish smile.

"Does that mean you and Adrianna talked about me?"

Chandler knew the topic was going to come up, and he didn't want to give anything away.

"Oh, the whole 'mommy' thing?"

"Yes, the whole 'mommy' thing," Monica repeated, a little perturbed.

"I'm sorry, babe. Adrianna told me she was just excited to see you and that word almost slipped out. She does miss you, though, a lot."

"I miss her, too. Oh, well. I told Rachel and Phoebe I wasn't going to get my hopes up, so I'm glad I didn't. I understand. I thought it was just a slip, too, but they told me to tell you, so…"

"Mon," Chandler said, reaching for her hand across the table, "my daughter is very taken with you. You two have come a long way. It didn't happen on Saturday, but that doesn't mean it's not going to happen."

"I know, and I'm fine with it. I really am. Let's just enjoy the rest of our dinner and the evening."

"Okay," Chandler said, feeling a little bad he had dampened Monica's spirits but knowing in a few short days, everything would be fine.

* * *

After they cleaned up the kitchen, they got comfortable on the sofa.

"I want to ask you about Adrianna's Christmas present," Monica said. "Would it be okay if I bought her a dollhouse?"

"A dollhouse? Really?"

"Yeah," Monica said, scooting closer to Chandler. "I watched her and Emma play with the one that used to be mine, and they were having so much fun. I thought if she had her own, they could play at both places and maybe switch things around. I'll get her one that has different furniture and accessories. But I won't buy it if it's not okay with you."

"You're spoiling my daughter."

"Not really. It's Christmas. What are you getting her or what is Santa bringing her?"

"I'm sorta stuck," he admitted. "I bought her all the necessities, but I don't have that one gift, you know?"

Monica smiled and nodded. "I know. Want some ideas?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Why don't you buy her a play kitchen set? She's really taken to helping me. I think she would have fun playing in her own kitchen. You could even buy her an Easy Bake Oven. I heard they're making those again. Although she may be a bit too young, but if Emma is with her…"

"You really think she'll like that? I'm kinda concerned about the space in the apartment, although if we move into a house…"

Monica looked at him in surprise. "Are you thinking of buying a house?"

"The idea has crossed my mind. I think I want Adrianna to grow up in a house outside the city. When she gets older, she'll probably hate not being in NYC, but living in a house is really all she knows."

"I think you liked it, too."

"I did. I don't miss some of the bad memories I have of the house in California, but that's another positive. We can make good memories in our new house."

"You seem to have everything figured out," Monica said, her tone wistful.

"Not quite everything," he assured her. "But I am trying to think of my daughter's best interests."

"I admire that so much."

"Do you?" Chandler said, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Of course. There's something else I believe I will admire, too."

"What's that?" he asked, taking her proffered hand as she led him off the couch towards her bedroom.

She opened her door and showed him the Santa outfit she had placed on her bed.

"It took me forever, but I finally found the perfect suit. I can't wait for you to try it on."

"You're serious?"

"You better believe I'm serious. We are going to have some pre-Christmas fun tonight, mister. Now change into that suit while I remind you just how naughty I can be."

And so he did, and when she showed him just how naughty she could be, they both knew Christmas had come early. And neither one would have wanted it any other way.


End file.
